How Do I Do I Feel Good?

A Story by jaiarius

I understand now that we all go through things. We cannot defeat them, therefore we must surrender our worries, our stress - to our Lord, our Savior Jesus Christ. Only then, will true healing begin.

You will find yourself cornered by an obstacle. A fear to overcome it and no matter what it may be, there is a way. There is always a way even if there is no way. Some are burden by finances, others suffering in their relationships, sometimes you just find yourself in a funk that seems to never end. I completely understand. Believe me I do. You might question why, and well the answer is simple. I am suffering from those very obstacles now. Bare with me, for this journey is long. I will show you how I feel good.

I feel bad:

I reflect back on days when I was young. Riding bikes, playing basketball, and running through puddles. Inside of me was pure, nothing could bring me down. I like to think I was conscious then yet happiness coursed through my veins. Then one day, I realized all of the problems around me. Barely any food to eat, don't have a bed or room to grow up in, could barely afford deodorant while going through school. I mean roaches in the kitchen, getting made fun of by my "friends", dropping out of college because I couldn't survive alone academically and financially. What does all this mean for me? It means I discovered I don't have everything I ever wanted. I didn't have support, I love you's, "I'll give you a ride to work", "Don't worry about this. I got you - just focus on what you're doing." And what did I do, I signed up for the Army, went away for some years and came back with some profanity and a bigger ego. It wasn't all bad, it taught me how to arrive on time with all the materials I'll need. Still it didn't teach me to be happy within myself. Only to better suppress my pain. I feel bad because I was abandoned, exiled all my life. To make things worse, a few years went by and my life started going right. I found a beautiful woman and she was positive. She told me convert my life to Christ. Unfortunately about 2 years in, we got in our final fight. Though, I hurt her heart - I guess I did good enough for her to stay in my life. Now I feel bad because without her I feel alone in life. The real question is why I can't take her out my life. Another answer that is simple, I'm not happy with myself. I've been bruised mentally badly and I honestly might need professional help. Well lucky for you, there's a happy ending. A journey not yet old, I'm happy to know you've got this far. I'd considered that to be mighty bold. Ah, let me stop this rhyme scheme - I am not writing a poem. Anyway, I found solace in loving the life of God. For the non-believers don't exit. Still your life has pain. This story is about effort and how your life can change. Step one is change your identity and then your life can change. Chapter 2 I'll show you what I mean and why my life has changed.

I challenged bad:

I started reading stories about different disciples like David, Noah, and Abraham. While you can articulate their stories as God-fearing men. There is a more modern ideology I take from it too. The ability to believe in something without sight of it. That's what's extraordinary about these men. The faith that there's a way when it seems like no way. I feel like all of us can apply that ourselves. An unimaginable deal of optimism and faith that something in this world wants you to succeed just as bad as you. It's literally manifestation, the power of the tongue per se. A psychological, yet non-scientifically proven mindset that whatever you believe can come true. This is self-confidence 101 kids. Hunting the good stuff, and crying your pain away seems miserable at first. However, it is releasing off what's holding you back. Don't be too tough to cry. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Psalm 30:5. Release it all, release it constant. The reason you're reading these very words are my releasing off anger, fear, sadness, regret. We don't need to keep those emotions as they are counterproductive to the overall goal. "How Do I feel Good?" Are you with me? I'm kidding I'm not a pastor. In layman's terms, being positive through hard times, releasing your pain are two highly effective strategies that we've covered thus far. Time has proven all thing's outside of time to be finite. Why does this matter? Because "this too shall pass." 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 �™𝘶𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵 𝘶𝘴 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘪𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦. Sometimes you have do the hard thing and step back. Allow the situation to reveal it's own outcome. From my experience, my anxiousness - impatience this is extremely difficult because I like to know the outcome at that exact moment. Learning different strategies is something I've decided I'd do in order to better allow time to pass. Some of which are "taking ten deep breaths." Such a small moment in time yet it's extremely helpful in your next short moments. It's necessary time required to gather yourself and better evaluate your next steps. Undoubtedly, it has to be give it time. No exceptions as hopeful or "I know this situation" as you might feel - We have step back and wait. For good thing's come to those who wait. "Good" is not always ideal for an individual, however. Good might be a conclusion that you may not like of a situation. Though, it might be better for you to move forward. A conclusion doesn't always mean "the end" either. It could also suggest space being made for a Genesis - a new beginning. We need time to conclude those outcomes. It might also go well, it might be the outcome you desire if it's meant. Otherwise, be comfortable being uncomfortable. Unfamiliar does not equate to bad, so I have to ask myself here "What's bad about it?" (𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘰𝘰.) The answer is "nothing." Nothing is actually "bad" about it. There is nothing that is "not good" of this outcome at all. The only issue is that unfamiliar means unknown which creates a fear because we don't know what's to come. Something as simple as this causes us to completely pursue unhealthy situations. So what do I do? I stop completely. I reroute my focus onto myself and my goals I've had before this situation. We must be able eliminate our own temptations in order to create enough time to have the answers in which we we seek. Sadly, from my personal experience knowing simply stopping isn't always the easiest thing to do and you probably won't allow this process to occur sooner than later. That's okay, if you'd like follow your heart, it'll eventually route you here once you realize the situation is going nowhere.

Bad isn't so bad:

Bad isn't actually the worst. The obstacles itself often aren't usually as bad as the mind exaggerates them. To think any commonly occurring situation means the end of you is completely satirical ; meaning it's a joke. These challenges have been overcome before you and will continue to be past your lifetime. I want you to start saying "I believe in me" every time you take your deep breaths. It wouldn't be "bad" to incorporate "bad" with "new" in this instance. As for "new" and "bad" are very similar in characteristic's. They both are referred to be unfamiliar circumstances that make us uncomfortable. Therefore, bad is not really bad here - bad is just new. Lucky for us, New things can become old or in other words "used-to", familiar etc. It means not only that there's an ability to adapt but this adaptation is way more common than we might think. So in challenging bad, we discover that the confidence to embrace new makes us want to stay away. Though, we might realize that we face new everyday - I guess it's less noticeable because these situations seem more ideal. For example buying new shoes, going to a new store, meeting a person you've never met before! Now you're getting it! See, we were made to adapt and embrace change so there is no reason that we can't overcome situations that we are 'used-to' being that we do it naturally everyday.