Reality Check

I wrote this during a time in my life when I was depressed and discovering myself in a lot of ways.

Burdened with blame; blinded by doubt,
I see the light on the horizon, but can't find my way out.
Entranced in loneliness; bottled up inside.
Feeling so useless, though the pain I've tried to hide.
I need release from myself; to be freed from these chains.
My heart is crying out, hoping someone will sense the pain.
This mask I wear, it hides the past; afraid of letting someone in.
These walls around my heart are going down, and I start to breathe again.
Suffocated by my own sin and shame, I'm looking for another way to escape the pain.
I used to reach for the bottle; it only numbed the strain,
But later on I realized it only led to only more blame.
I'm seeking The Truth, The Way, The Life; the only hope there is.
Though so many have let me down, He's with me until the very end.
It's easy to numb the pain through sin and denial,
But eventually we have to face ourselves, which sometimes become so vile.
Reflections tend to lie when they're based on what others say;
At the end of the day we'll all have a price to pay.
I'm down, but I'm not out; quiet, but won't stay tame.
I have to open my heart and stop living with this shame.
There's a lot of people that care for me, and I can't let them down.
I have the choice to get up and carry on, or wallow in doubt.
Loneliness is a killer; like a poison soaks into your veins,
But God is our strength and guidance, and washes away all our sin and shame.
I'm gonna fall alot in life, but my Lord will lift me up;
Show me there's a reason for living, and that faith and love are more than enough.
I could ponder the whole night through about where I am in life and why,
But rather express my soul by these words that will now reside.