Last thoughts

Pounding,
I can feel my heart beats
Slicing,
like a butcher cutting a piece of meat
Throbbing,
I can feel the pain
Flowing,
the red warm fluid out of my vein

Breathing in
Is killing myself a sin
Breathing out
I still have lots of doubts

But right now I do not care
Everyone knows life is unfair
Hatred is everywhere
I can no longer bear

Shivering,
it is chilly
Blinking,
everything is becoming foggy
Wondering,
this is my last thought probably
Sleeping,
into the eternity

Reviews

[Jessica Mai]

I really like this a lot. The one word lines add a strong affect to the poem and i love the last stanza. Amazingly written and i just love it.

But there is one little thing... there should probably be a question mark after "is killing myself a sin" i had to read it a few times before i worked out what it meant but obviously its up to you whether you want to change it :)

[Vincent Esprit FMI]

The emotions here are vividly expressed....another great write