Snickers the Cat

2014

With slitted eyes, his tail slowly flicked side to side behind his plump body, white front paws tucked beneath his chest. Contently purring from deep in his throat, he was quite pleased with himself. Not only had he already woke the household up that morning when in need for more food, but he’d also managed to steal a few slices of bacon that the humans had dropped. How kind they were, occasionally. 

His ears twitched when the sound of light footsteps began approaching. Abruptly he opened his eyes when feeling a wet nose sniffing at his face, rubbing against the top of his orange head. Slapping at the mutt’s muzzle with a paw, he was able to fend the beast off, staring in warning after tucking his paw back beneath himself. Witless mutt.

Canines were such impeccable creatures. So… dirty. 

Comfortably laying on the dog’s bed in the most casual of ways, he remained at his station until the familiar pangs of starvation were present. As if carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, he slowly stood, stretching out with his front paws first and his rump in the air before standing. Glancing around as he began his journey to the kitchen, he unpleasantly found that the food dish still contained the cat nibble from two hours ago. Unacceptable.

“Human!” He called as one passed, his mono-tone ‘mow’ heard to their ears, little to his knowledge. Impatiently his tail flicked against the bowl to his side, as he sat in wait. The human passed again, though didn’t seem to have heard him the first time, so he called louder. “Human! Hu-human! Look to me when I speak to you, you dim-witted creature!” Still, there was no answer. He could play that game, too.

Padding over to a human who had resigned to the couch, he butted his head against their leg. No response. Hrmph. With vigorous effort, he backed up a step, and with his loudest voice yelled, “Human!” while rubbing his side against their leg. Finally, an answer. He ran past the human as they stood, back to the food dish. With carefully trained eyes he supervised the being as the old food was removed, and new kibble was added. After waiting an eternity, he could finally eat. 

Once finished with this endeavor, he heard a voice suddenly yell, “Snickers!”

Swiftly he ran to the bathroom, where he decided to make his home. Hiding beneath the shower curtain, he settled himself down, calmly his tail slowly swaying side to side once more. Lazily he remained there for the next three hours, soon drifting to a literal cat-nap state.

Snickers only bothered to wake up when the scent of Doritos made its way to his nose. Oh, my. That definitely smelled delectable. On quick paws he ran to the kitchen, jumping up onto one of the chairs at the dining table where he expectantly sat, only visible as a head peeking above the edge of it. On the table sat a bag of Doritos, and nacho chips. The strange things they called Doritos, were fantastically delicious. He had to have them. More of them, that was. Reaching a paw up slowly to bat the bag closer, he jumped in surprise when a human hand swatted his own away. “No, bad. Chips aren’t for cats.” Aren’t for cats? Blasphemy! With an incredulous gaze to the human girl, Snickers thought of his plan to indeed, get the Doritos. He would have to wait, ever so patiently…

As the group of humans ate in front of the television, he sat off to the side. Silly creatures, controlled by moving pictures and blabbering nonsense. While they seemed to be preoccupied watching he began his mission. Slowly, inch by inch, he scooted himself closer towards the bag of Doritos that laid on the floor. Slowly… Slowly… Almost… Finally he reached the bag, the intoxicating aroma heavenly to his nose. Poking his head in, Snickers was able to snag a few chips before he made a mad dash for it, sprinting out of the room in a surprisingly fast manner for a fat cat. Once in the next room, he indulged in his prize. Hrmph. Chips aren’t for cats… He scoffed. 

***

The next morning, he was hungry. Really hungry. The only problem… was that everyone was asleep. This needed to be fixed. Making his way to the nearest human’s bedroom, he sat at the door, and yelled. “Wake up! Wake-eee up! Wake up!” After an hour, there’d been no response, and he heard only shuffling from inside. 

Reaching up to the door handle and managing to turn it after a few annoyed hits, Snickers snickered to himself as he tip-toed into the bedroom, where two humans laid sleeping. Jumping onto the bed and journeying to their heads, he batted at one’s cheek, sitting on the other human’s face. “I said wake up!” he repeated in his loud voice, tail batting around. Little over ten minutes later, he’d managed to get both humans up. Food! Wait. Was he hungry?

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[Tom]

A cat that knows what he wants....A delighfully penned, creative feline tale (tail) ?