Butterfly Kisses

A Story by Jade Mayhew

Entirely, to a T, based off the song "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle. It has always been my favorite song, and I thought it would make an interesting story.

There are two things I know for sure: my little girl was, is, a gift from heaven, and she will always be daddy’s little girl. Just eight years old, but I already know that one day she will find someone to love her, and they’ll take her from me. I have yet to come to terms with this, but I feel like I have plenty of time.

At night, I kneel beside the bed with her. I was brought up Catholic, my wife was brought up Catholic, and we chose to raise our daughter the same way. She talks to Jesus as if he’s an old friend, and I close my eyes, clasping my palms together tightly. I thank God for all the joy in my life: my dear friends, my wonderful, beautiful wife, but most of all for my daughter. For the butterfly kisses she gives me as she crawls into bed after her prayers. There are white flowers still tangled up in her hair from her time in the backyard earlier. She’s the most beautiful girl in the world; no one could ever convince me otherwise. I lean down and kiss her on the forehead before walking to her door to turn out her light. I watch her turn on her side, facing away from me, holding tightly to a small stuffed pony she’s had for years.

Suddenly, I feel myself thrown back to her 8^th birthday. My wife and I had taken her to a local horse farm, and she got to have a pony ride. It was slow, tedious, and there had been a teenage girl walking alongside her the whole time, holding the reins. I’ll never forget her voice as she giggled. “Walk next to the pony daddy! It’s my first ride!” But to my daughter, it had been the best present ever. She insisted on helping her mom make the cake that night. It was lopsided, the frosting was uneven and the writing on it was as messy as any 8 year old’s, but the pride in her eyes was too much for me to take. A tear streamed down my cheek when she blew out her candles. “I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I sure tried.”

I blink and suddenly, my daughter is sixteen. Every day that passes, she looks more and more like her mother, and I feel my stomach clench when she tells me she wants to go out with her friends tonight. She’s so much a woman, but still so much my little girl. I look at her and still see the 8-year-old with ribbons and curls in her hair, but when I shake my head, she’s suddenly wearing perfume and make up, getting ready to go out for the night with friends�"with boys�"that I don’t know. I want to grab her and hold her tightly, but instead I walk outside with her when her friends pull up. She smiles at me, and I remember the white flowers that don’t stay in her hair anymore, the bedtime prayers that she doesn’t say anymore. “You know I love you daddy, but if you don’t mind, I’m only going to kiss you on the cheek this time.” And all I can do is nod and watch as my whole world is driven off.

I blink again. The room I’m standing in his wholly unfamiliar, and I feel my heart race as I register my confusion. Then I look up and see her. She’s beautiful, truly an angel here on earth. Tears fill up my eyes, and my daughter looks at me. Today’s the day, I realize. She’ll change her name, she’ll make a promise and I’ll be giving her away. “What are you thinking about, daddy?” she asks me. Shaking my head, I tell her that I’m not sure, but that I have a horrible feeling that I’m losing my baby girl. And that’s when she leans over. She gives me butterfly kisses with her mother standing behind her, sticking the same little white flowers in her hair that I haven’t seen in years. “Walk me down the aisle, daddy; it’s just about time.” She smoothes out her dress and links her arm through mine. “Does my wedding gown look pretty? Daddy, don’t cry.”

But I can’t help it. I want her happiness above all else, and I know the man she’s marrying is a good man who will treat her right. However, it’s my little girl and I’m afraid of losing her. I stop her before we walk outside where her soon-to-be husband waits. “With all that I’ve done wrong in life, I must have done something right to deserve your love.” She smiles at me, and I feel my heart tear as we start the slow walk down the aisle where the groom stands, an awestruck look on his face. I couldn’t ask God for more, I think to myself. This is what love is. I know I have to let her go, but I will always remember every hug in the morning, and the butterfly kisses.