Wishes

I wish I could be happy...
Because he's happy.
But how can I be happy
Knowing that I'm not the one who makes him smile?
Knowing that I'm not the reason he smiles when he wipes away his tears?
I wish I could feel wanted...
Because he's wanted.
But how can I feel wanted
While he holds someone else in his arms?
While he tells some other girl that he loves her?
I wish I could smile...
Because he's smiling.
But how can I smile
When I left all my smiles with him?
When I know he's smiling at someone else now?
I wish I could laugh...
Because he's laughing.
But how can I laugh
If all my laughter is trapped inside a broken heart?
If his smirk no longer aims to make me blush and laugh.
I wish I could cry...
Because I miss him.
But why should I cry
When, inside, my heart knows the truth?
Why should I cry...
When I know...
These are just some of my wishes that I know won't come true?

 

November, 2008