My Voice

This was a poem I wrote out of the blue one day. I think it's one of my better poems, but any feedback would be very appreciated!

Brendan was angry and filled with much rage
He asked me for help but we were at a young age
I gave him advice, tried to help him along
But as the 8th grade got nearer, everything just went wrong
He made a mistake, like all teenagers do
He screwed up his life and he can't start anew
I should've done something, I was his best friend
It's my fault our friendship was forced to an end
It shouldn't have happened, he just made a bad choice
And I can't say I'm sorry, cuz he can't hear my voice

Megan was shy, didn't have many friends
The choices she made led her to decent ends
She was a fairly good kid, she was never in trouble
When people asked her for help, she was there on the double
I helped her with dating, she became much less shy
We had so much fun, 8th grade simply flew by
In high school she changed and became, well, a s**t
It's my fault my best friend was put in this rut
It shouldn't have happened, she just made a bad choice
And I can't say I'm sorry cuz she can't hear my voice

Mike was so popular, we all knew his name
He was always so happy and was never the same
His laugh made me smile, his eyes made me blush
The sound of his voice put my head in a rush
But one of my friends told me that Mike, he had died
I was cold to the bone when he said "suicide"
I was shocked he was dead, that he took his own life
It's my fault for not being there through all of his strife
It shouldn't have happened, he just made a bad choice
And I can't say I'm sorry cuz he's can't hear my voice

Brendan had problems, it was control he had lacked
He can't hear my voice and there's no turning time back
Megan was innocent, now her world's turning black
She can't hear my voice and there's no turning time back
Mike's fate is final, no more feeling of attack
He can't hear my voice and there's no turning time back
I'm building my strength up so this doesn't happen again
I don't plan on losing another best friend
I can make a difference, I still have a choice
I won't be ignored, people will hear my voice

Reviews

[LlamaLord]

Wow. This sent shivers all through my body. Great piece here. I like how you started by mentioning each of your friends are good people, then you told how they are now. I'm going through some things like that myself. Just the fact that you are losing friends, is enough to hurt you. You really put some great emotion in this. Maybe not "good" emotion, but a large amount of feelings. Great read thanks for sharing Jade.

Austin D

[Voice]

This is so deep I was literally crying. Your emotions are so tense and so raw and they just leap from the page. I know its hard but you cant blame yourself for other peoples choices I myself am just starting to realize this. Great piece truly amazing keep writing I expect great things...

Voice

[DanaRegen]

First and foremost, thanks for entering this into my contest, and best of luck! Wow fantastic poem, it was heart filled and inspiring, to stay on the good side of life. Make good decisions, and even if your depressed, look to the future because you never know you could become the person of your dreams. But you hold the power of your future. Very nice poem!
-Dana :)