PART TWO Trevor Claire

 

My summer was basically amazing. I went to a camping resort with my family. We were there for over a week, and I'd spent all of my time with a girl I'd met named Angelica. She had two friends with her, one named Alex and one named Brian. Brian and I hooked up and decided that when it was time for us to leave the resort was when we would break up. He lived too far away and it was highly unlikely we would keep in touch. I was okay with that. It was good for me to get some dating experience before school started again. Now I'd have a story to tell.

                   A week or so after my thirteenth birthday, Jessica called me. We had hung out a few times over the summer. But she was calling from her father's house, which was a good 45-minute drive away. "Hello?" I answered.

                   "Cassi? It's me, Jess." Her voice sounded teary, giving away immediately that something was wrong.

                   "Jess, what happened?"

                   "My mom and I got into a huge fight the other night. I told her I couldn't stand living with her and her boyfriend anymore. I really can't. He's such an a*****e. She threatened to sell my horse again, only this time she started calling people. My horse is a purebred, Cassi, someone will most definitely want to buy her. So I told her I give up, and I called my father. I moved into his house today. I'm not going back to Lakeville. Ever again. I just can't anymore." She gave up trying to talk and began sobbing.

                   Tears welled up in my eyes. Jessica couldn't be moving. Already moved, I corrected myself silently. It's already too late. "Not even to visit?" I whispered.

                   "It's unlikely. My father won't want to drive that far out to let me visit for a short amount of time. I'm sorry Cassi. I wanted to tell you in person, but I knew it would be too hard to say goodbye."

                   I sighed. "I'll call you back later," I mumbled and hung up quickly. I shut my eyes tightly and held my breath, willing myself not to cry. I counted to twenty and breathed out deeply.

                   By the time school rolled around, both Jessica and I were better. We made plans to hang out at the first school break, and I promised to keep her in touch with all the amazing drama of Freetown/Lakeville Middle School. I was pleased she didn't mention any names in particular to keep her posted on.

                   As it turned out, I was unable to tell people much about my summer on my first day of school. I had somehow managed to get sick three days previous and was all better, save for a very sore throat, just in time for school. I could barely talk. I was pleased to see some very good friends in my homeroom, such as Megan Belanger, Kelsey Craveiro, Tiffany Berndt and a few other people I would get to know more and more. When Megan saw me, she ran up to me and hugged me tightly. "Oh my gosh! How was your summer?"

                   "Good," I squeaked. "I can't talk much. Sore throat."

                   "That's fine." She launched into a story about her summer without any prodding. She was a bit of a spas, but that was completely okay with me. I thought she was awesome, and I had since last year. She sat with me at lunch that day, along with Mike, Zach Brooks, Austin Hymer (a new student) and Brendan.

                   I nearly tackled Brendan in a hug. He looked taller than he had the year before, and though I'd grown a bit, he was still taller than me. Which, to be completely honest, wasn't much of a difficult task. At lunch, I was officially introduced to Zach and Austin. Though I had somewhat met Zach the year before, it had been on the last day of school and I hardly remembered him.

                   Megan was in three of my classes that year, and Brendan and Zach were my companions in gym. Mike and I shared none, but for the most part, I was quite happy with my schedule.

                   One day, I was in the library with Megan and decided to check my email. This was before the time that schools discovered the wonder of "administrative website blocks". I had a new email from an unknown address. Opening it, I read a quick message. "Hey Cassi, what's up? It's Trevor. From Tasha, Tiffany and Amanda's. How've you been?"

                   I was surprised. I hadn't talked to Trevor all summer and I missed him. We'd been friends for years, though we'd lost contact numerous times over the span of our friendship. I emailed him back, letting him know I was doing well and that I was finally in 8th grade. I asked how he was doing and how the girls were.

                   Trevor and I continued to talk and keep in touch for months. Brendan and I grew closer as friends that year, but he seemed to be less interested in dating me as he had in 7th grade. So while I still kept my feelings for him, I focused on other people. As Megan predicted would happen, Trevor was the one I set my sights on. We had been flirting with each other endlessly since we had gotten back in touch. She'd read all the emails.

                   Now, when I was 13, I was a sucker for fairy tales and love stories. I wanted to live one. Somehow, I managed to convince myself I was in love with Trevor, though I know now that I wasn't. In December of my 8th grade year, however, I was unaware of that. I sent him an email telling him how I felt. He wrote me back almost immediately telling me he thought it was sweet, but not directly telling me his response, which was what I had been expecting. Though frustrated, I didn't pursue the topic, figuring if he kept flirting, it meant he must still like me. He kept flirting, and I was relieved.

                   Toward the end of December, I started dating my brother's friend, Kevin. When I told Trevor about this, he asked when we had started dating. I said it was recent and I didn't think it would last very long. I was still "in love" with Trevor, though I didn't tell him that anymore.

                   "I'm glad you found a boyfriend, Cassi. I hope he makes you happy. Myself, I finally found a girlfriend. She's so amazing. I love her with all of my heart."

                   Those words shattered me. I felt myself starting to cry, so I muttered some excuse to get off the phone and hung up without waiting for a response. Then I let the tears flow freely. I cried all night and the next day at school, everyone noticed something was wrong. I told Megan immediately. It was four months into school, and this girl was practically my sister. I also told Tiffany. I didn't intend on telling Mike, Brendan, Zach or Austin. They were boys and they simply wouldn't understand. I broke up with Kevin that day, too, telling him that now was a bad time for me to be dating. He looked upset, but said he understood. Every day for the rest of the week, I showed up looking sullen, tired and upset. Brendan finally noticed when someone threw a dodge ball to me in gym, it hit me in the leg and it took me a full minute before I realized that and walked off. He followed me and sat down next to me. "So what's got you so down?"

                   "It's nothing, Brendan, I'm just upset about... stuff. It's a girl thing. You wouldn't understand." I mainly just didn't want to tell him it was about another boy.

                   "Cassi, every time I showed up to school last year looking like you do now, you pressed me for a reason until I finally just gave up and told you. I'm not going to let you shrug me off. You're my best friend. Now tell me, who's a*s am I kicking for hurting you?"

                   I took a deep breath and blurted out the shortest way of telling the story I could think of. "Trevor Claire. We've been friends for a really long time. And I told him that I had feelings for him and he got a new girlfriend and she is... no. Just not nice at all and I don't like her. And he keeps talking about how much he 'loves her' and how 'amazing' she is. And it is absolutely killing me and he doesn't even realize it. And I just really want to hate him right now, but I can't." I breathed out. "The end."

                   "I'll kill him for you," Brendan said seriously. I looked up expecting to see his lopsided grin, my favorite smile of his, playing on his face. But he was looking away from me, a serious look on his face. He glanced at me. "Listen, Cassi, you are a beautiful, amazing girl. No one else could compare to you. This boy, this stupid boy, he's nothing. He's a page in your life's story and you need to just realize that and forget about him. You will find someone someday who loves you for you and who will want to spend the rest of their lives with you. And when you do find him, you'll laugh when you remember Trevor Claire and how stupid you were to be so upset over him for so long. So cheer the hell up. You have other people who are better than him who are always gonna be here for you." He finished talking and was now facing me directly. Our faces were barely apart. It took me a minute before I realized half my class was staring over at us.

                   I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Brendan, you are amazing. You know that? I'm glad you're here for me." I hugged him tightly; my smile could no longer be held back.

                   A dodge ball suddenly hit me lightly in the back. "Hey losers, get back in the game." Looking up, I saw Zach Brooks standing above us. He smiled widely.

                   "A*****e," I said, but returned the goofy grin. Brendan was still looking at me seriously, but grinned when I looked at him. We stood up and got back into the game.

                   My thoughts didn't stray to Trevor much after that. At least, not in a romantic sense. I had really taken Brendan's advice to heart. Trevor and I did stay good friends, though.

                   They say a person can live a month off of a compliment. You don't know how true that is until you experience it. Whenever I was sad and upset, I remembered one thing that would always make me smile. He called me beautiful.