Untitled Book Chapters 1-2

Short excerpts from untitled book. No release date.

Chapter 1: The URGE The urge.

 You ever feel it? It’s like an undying, never-ending feeling of something that you know you can’t control. But you try to. You really do! You try and try but then something knocks you back into your sense and you say “Bitchhhhh, what are you doing”. It’s that feeling when you know you shouldn’t text that guy (or girl- pick your poison) but something in you wants the thrill. The urge is like a little red demon that’s implanted in whichever body part you crave for that other person. Your heart, your penis/vagina, your leg (if you want them for their money). Overall, something is pushing you to go and get whatever it is that you want! And you know that you’ll do anything because you want to satisfy that feeling.

 We are selfish beings. Freud said it best, “sex and aggression”. Well for me, because of my lack of sex, I have aggression. But that’s not the reason behind my urge. My urge. My urge. My urge to have to pee every time after I already finished peeing because I have a UTI. For all the males out here that do not know what that is, GOOGLE IT! And ladies, if you’ve ever had one, PRAY FOR ME! I am fighting this urge like a b***h that spoke ill about my family member and wants this sauce. I am working on this home remedy where apple cider vinegar is the “key”. Well if that is the key I want to be locked out because a b***h cannot take this any longer. I am going to burn a hole in my stomach the size of Texas and still will not have satisfied this urge. 

But this is how I deal with my men too, with home remedies. They hit me with that “wyd” or “you up” text. And because I am “home”, I agree. They come over, I satisfy that aggression, then they leave. Then I am back into my cycle, left with my Texas hole. I don’t need need to be wined and dined. I need to skip to the 69 and then you can just give me mines and dip. Is that selfish? Maybe.. But I need to get mines, waaaaay before you get yours baby. Simply because, it’s my urge. 

Chapter TWO: Old Knockers 

You ever give that special “someone” a specific text-tone for when they hit you up? That chirp chirp, or that da-ding.. Yeah, you know the one. While you’re reading this, you’re thinking about that one. It’s like a little personal knock on the door to your emotions. And f**k a doorbell!...... You want that knock so you know it’s real! And Lord help the person who you hear text you that isn’t that special ringtone. That’s when you begin to yell out “What the hell do you want?!”. You look at your phone and roll your eyes because of course the person you want hitting you up, ain’t even hitting your line. You ever have someone sitting next you (a friend, a cousin, a co-worker) that has the same ringtone/text-tone as your little boo-thang? Don’t that s**t make your blood boil!! It’s like you want to look over at them like “b***h if you don’t turn my mans tone off”. But you just sit there as your heart drops and you say “damn, I thought that was mines”. And even still, they don’t get the hint because they are in anticipation just like you. So silently, you sit there hating on the next person because you refuse to settle with the realization that you aren’t getting that text. 

*Cue all of my emotional distress and anxiety* “I like when that hotline bling” - Drake. But what happens when your hotline isn’t blingin’? What happens when you hit a hotline dryspell? Do you call up your old thang? These are what I like to call “old knockers”. If your emotions had a door, these dudes wouldn’t have access to knock, they would have to lift up the mailslot and scream through “bae, you here”?.. In which you would think “No, d****t, I’m not”. But because you going through that dryspell, you answer.

 You never know what is coming through that door. It just might be an old knocker with some new tricks up his sleeve. But that is just a one in a million chance! But what do you do? You give him access because if you can’t get it from your real bae, you’ll take it from the next best thing. Do you ever stop and think if you are his old knocker?

Author's Note

*Disclaimer: This is a very raw piece of content that I am creating. I am going to vulgar, super funny and overall REAL. This is my life, my work, my content. CRITICISM is WELCOME!! This is a hobby that I enjoy that I feel I can give the world that is relatable on many levels, for many people.