Out of sand

Out of sand

 

Staring at the hourglass

Counting each tiny grain of life

Moments that passed before

Resting in a pyramid pile, the lower half…youth

White and pure, unwanted beach’s breath

Identical but different…used

 

Age remains atop the vessel

Seeping in centered illusions

Falling through a narrow passage

Seconds, minutes, hours…it descends

Plain and boring, nothing much here to see

Routine trickles of tired drippings

 

Then…one granule an unusual shade…effervescent

A single speck glistens…morning glory blue

Illumined before my eyes…finding the middle

Spinning in the gritted whirlpool and I realize…it is you

This is my time of love…I see it clearly

As it moves lower…leaving me…spiraling towards memories

 

Frantically I shake the container, it changes not

Losing you…watching…in panic’d wave smashing the glass

Tiny slivers lace the pieces, sharp, razor like

Sifting through hysterically, searching for you…my fingers

Sliced and oozing…crimson floods the mound

Everything is tinted sorrow…it all looks the same

 

You are gone, swept up in life’s saturation

And still I bleed…tears mingling

Drenched in loss of a broken heart

Lying in a dampened dune of garnet puddles

Becoming one with the earth below…

I have lost you…I am out of sand….

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Captcha - Downtake

Reviews

[Kristina Moulaison]

This is wonderfully done! The imagery of the hourglass so resonated with me and then it plays out like a thriller with a surprise twist, this unplanned horror...such poignant, identifiable imagery, so well illustrating this losing of time, of self....our inability to go back, put the pieces back in their place and how it slices and scars us, leaves us unhinged, lifeless as it slips through our fingers. So well done!

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Kristina. This was an idea I had Saturday morning, then through a sleepless Saturday night until I finally sat down and wrote it Sunday morning. It kind of kept me suspended until I did. I appreciate your kindness today.

[Kristina Moulaison]

I know the feeling. :) This one was worth all the effort to create...really good!

[s y e]

The title of this poem is out of this world Jack. This is quite a dark, deep poem Jackomantic. We all have broken hearts, we've all experienced it. It sucks and gets us down. It takes us on this emotional roller coaster that we never want to go on again... it breaks us and honestly, I don't think we're ever the same person again.

This got to me Jack. I thoroughly enjoyed it however. Another smashing write from you. I'm your number one fan. Don't forget it.

[Jack...]

Sweet Sye, always your kindness affects me...my smile today is because of you my friend. How could anyone feel down with a friend like you to lift them up.

[Anita Singh]

Oh my god! This is awesome. The title "Out of sand" didn't stuck me at first but now I am awestruck by the deep symbolism the phrase holds. Truly splendid!

[Jack...]

Thank you Annabella for your visit and your kind words.

[Baby Ricochet]

Routine trickles of tired drippings. Great line

[Jack...]

Thanks BR. Glad you liked it.

[m.s.early]

Wonderful metaphor Jack. The past is beneath us after all, isn't it? We can soak our fate with our blood but the destiny remains the same. Very powerful Jack.

[Jack...]

It sure does seem that way. Thanks so much my friend.

[Pryde Foltz]

Frantically I shake the container, it changes not

Losing you…watching…in panic’d wave smashing the glass

Tiny slivers lace the pieces, sharp, razor like

Sifting through hysterically, searching for you…my fingers

Sliced and oozing…crimson floods the mound

Everything is tinted sorrow…it all looks the same

Excellent concept and metaphor connection in this piece, jack. Bravo.

[Jack...]

Thank you Pryde. I appreciate you.

[Claire in VA]

Hi Jack! This is dark and lovely.
The broken heart is a place that we all have been
and understand well.
Enjoyed it.
~~~Claire~~~

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Claire. I appreciate you stopping by.

[kublakhan27]

The broken heart is contagious upon reading this work my friend. There is no worse or lonelier feeling in the world than what you've presented here. Nothing defines time like an hourglass...you can't reset it like a clock, you can't add daylight saving hours...you can flip it over as often as you like, but the momentum of the sinking sand never stops. Glimmers of hope are almost an inconvenience to me now...they glimmer for a moment, then are snuffed out by reality every time. Yes, I've definitely tapped into the sensitivity of this piece...I just know where you're coming from. And I haven't even touched on the grandeur of the imagery and poetry itself, which is always in abundance wherever your pen has been.

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much my friend. I always appreciate your point of view on my work. You kindness is overwhelming.

[Marie]

I agree with KLGoode. THis is great. And you know I don't care for love poems. But this is powerful...that one grain of sand...that made the others worthwhile...gone...

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Marie. Yep, lost in the pile of past.

[Lyn Anderson]

This is great. A beautiful rhythm, flow, a lovely verse. And nary a comma or apostrophe out of place.:)

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend and apostrophe warrior.

[Sami Khalil]

This was indeed sad and torturous to the narrator. Looking for that one oasis in the vast desert of life and time counting every sand storm and every granule looking as far as the eyes can see across sand dunes...A wonderful write although sad...:)..............

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Sami. I am thinking that oasis is lying in the pile on the bottom half.

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...:)......................