Granite Dominoes

 

 

Granite Dominoes

 

 

The soft earth yields, I watched from above

Little by little it opens, inviting

Rectangular spaces of mudded thoughts,

sifted by spade, piled of fear

 

Granite dominoes stand in lined support,

dates moistened by dew…counting

Carved in regrets once felt,

loves never shared

 

Voices from the trees cackle,

laughter it seems brings the sun

Good riddance on fawning meadows breathes

and the sky turns to red

 

Applause echoes valley’d intersections

Dirt roads meet dead end byways

Tarps are draped in fielded mistings

and I see it all

 

Life goes on even if in minus,

faux tears fill tissues, a scented kind

all the while checking their watches

hoping for a quick release

 

Oak and imitation gold are lowered, polished indignity

Carnations are tossed, dying as they fly

No one remains…remains

except the quickly forgotten…

 

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

a somber timbre to this piece. Moody and shadowed and lonely. Well penned

[Blue]

"No one remains…remains
except the quickly forgotten…"

The entire poem is well written, Jack, but it's the last two lines that took my breath away. You are always a delight to read.

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much my friend. I am happy you enjoyed this.

[Rita L. Sev]

What a perfect analogy, Jack. Your final stanza stopped me short - profound, sad... true.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend.

[Baby Ricochet]

The first two stanza's brought to mind Zeus looking down on Easter Island from his throne on mount Olympus
The rest of the poem seemed Zeus reflecting on regret. Good one jack

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend. I appreciate you

[Vidya Bacchus]

Life has to go on ,there is no other recourse .Like dominoes indeed nice poem Hansel.....I meant Jack :)

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend. Yep indeed, the fairy tale never ends.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Ha .You are welcome my friend :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A tasking story behind clean simple lines, well done, good read.

[Jack...]

Thank you my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"life goes on, even in the minus"

love the metaphor here...and life is like dominoes...concrete ones..because it just happens, and one thing leads to another, almost like in a greek tragedy, the snowball effect...when one domino falls, the rest are soon to come after, and "no one remains, remains/ except the quickly forgotten"

nicely done, jack...

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Jacob. Glad you enjoyed this.

[Marie]

That's kindof what life is like...it has to go on. Once the machinery's in motion, tears, regrets, rebellion can't stop it.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Marie...

[MsJewel]

Dark and yet there is beauty in your words Jack. Your poetry is always a delight to read.

:) julie

[Jack...]

Julie, not near as delightful as your reviews...at least in my opinion. Thanks so very much.

[BlackRose]

All in the facts of life it would seem. Very good, superb written piece of that bit of dark part of life that looms around.

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much my friend. I appreciate you taking the time to always read and review my work. All we cn hope when we write something like this is that someone will read and enjoy. I am thrilled you enjoyed this.

[BlackRose]

Really? I truly always do and you know that. My pleasure. You're very welcome. :o)