Am I Hideous

 

 

 

Am I hideous

 

 

So many years have drained,

slowly taking what was once mine

scattering it over endless thoughts and memories

And I wonder why, where has it all gone…

Silver finds locks once dark,

muscles speak in much louder tones

 

Sleep is something of youthful moments

and nightmares wrap me where once bloomed orchids

 

Coming down that mountain…stumbling,

gazing on the valley below, green and lush,

envying those who still smile,

holding hands and drinking of life

one happy sip at a time

from that half full glass held next to their hearts

 

Not a drop spilled on their dance floor,

mixing with saw dust and erratic footprint designs

 

A tear finds my cheek, lonely as it is

asking what did it mean, why has loved passed me by

Nary a wave or a nod, eyes fixed elsewhere

Am I hideous…the thought has crossed my mind…why did I just grin

One more butterfly touches and I didn’t notice,

until now…perhaps

 

There’s that word again…seems overused

though it hasn’t been spoken in ages

 

Entering that final path, winding…tiring so

but a spring in the old step, a bounce found in place of a crawl

“Sweet the fragrant air doth find me of you”  

Why did I just say that, and in a voice I hadn’t heard in so long

Seems to be singing…and it is me…me

and funny…I hear harmony

 

So it has come, the voices of my past belting out a few notes

into the mind of crab cake crumbles and starched socks

 

Yet it is not in my head, it is on the wind…a cool breeze of song

wafts along aged skin and tickles…and I laugh at the feeling

When she appears from a field of lavender, different yet perfect,

beautiful eyes, lips…I must be going insane…they said it would happen…madness

Then she smiles at me and I smile back, could this be….love…me

Taking my hand we run…yes run…uphill…and I feel free

 

Reaching in my pocket I pull out the four leaf clover

I found when I was twelve and whisper…”Took you long enough”

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[Mollie Fitzner]

This is quite excellent and I am glad it has a happy ending. It has a surprise ending, as in an O. Henry ending (my short stories do the twist thing) although, why not a 4 leaf clover? Yes, it can happen for us, the baby boomer generation, again. I will take the liberty to say we must be of the same decade at least. I am not sure I understand the silver finding dark likes and the muscles speaking more loudly in the beginning, unless it is a foreshadowing? Please explain. It is just beautiful, however. There is a lucky lady on the recipient end!

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Mollie... not sure about the decade thing as I don't know yours, but "silver finding locks once dark" means brown hair turning...well you know and the "muscles speaking louder". Down here when you have a pain we ask how loud is it talking to you, which means how bad does it hurt. The older we get, the louder those muscle talk. 4 vs four was just a flip of the coin. Thanks again for your kindness, it is always appreciated.

As for twist endings, you should check out some of the Flash Fictions I have posted here...always a twist.

[Mollie Fitzner]

born 1958...oh yes, with your explanation now (I thought you meant a key finally opening a door and the other I was totally unaware of) OK, well with all of our back-to-back snow days, I will read your flash fiction--never had so many days off in my life except in summer. I have a lot of fiction, but I am never sure how much to post. Excerpts? I have not delved into anyone's fiction yet.

[Jack...]

I have only posted a few here.

[s y e]

You've poured your heart into this piece and written a poem that holds so much emotion and a powerful message. Time is such a precious thing to us all, we need to live life to the max when we can but I think we only realise that a little bit too late... Not sure.

Loved it. Very relatable.

[Jack...]

No, you are right my friend. We only realize it when it is gone. Thanks so very much. Your sweet words always thrill me.

[David Scott]

I'm so happy I read this today Jack.
Love can bring back lost years I think.
I like the idea of running hand in hand back up the hill...

This is the fountain of youth! You have discovered it!!!

Wonderful poetry Jack. Honest and heartwarming.

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much my friend. I never know where my mind will take me but thankfully it took me to a place that caused you to smile...and for that I am happy.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Touching and from your heart my friend :)

[Jack...]

Thank you very much my friend.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[Ruth]

Jack...you render my heart moved...time is such a precious thing, mostly we realise this when it seems to have sped up..."hideous" is not a word I'd use for you....not with such a bright and loving soul xx

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Poppy for you kindness. KL suggested grotesque...do you think that works better? :)

[Ruth]

Nope...not for you Jack, may as well face it hon...you are loved and appreciated and beautiful ;)

[MAC]

Jack, the is such a beautiful write. Gripping from the first line to almost heartbreaking last line. Just simply perfect.

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much. I truly appreciate you stopping by today and leaving such kind words for me.

[MAC]

Your work is crisp and a pleasure to read, Jack. Thank you for making it available to all of us.

[Raymond Federle]

This reminds me of something Albert Einstein said.... “I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.” Knocked this one outta the park Jack... :)

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Raymond. Thrilled you enjoyed this one.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Hmmm wow jack this is pretty cool for an opening and I like the heading and the opening picture. Hmm I cant wrap my finger around why you didn't add a question mark to the question am I hideous. I mean you use moderate writing with stops and commas. Hmm maybe you think abt it in an open manner... Like Am I or aren't I. Hmmm let me read hmmm...I get the feeling your talking abt your youth my dear friend In spirit you are still in you twenties fighting facts, emotions and thoughts and you have a enchanting soul my friend. The cup of life ha-ha that sounds like something a person finds in the Sims game lol. Love past you... does this mean you are alone or is it revering to that people aren't looking at you in that way?

Ha-ha now with the perhaps... well done I complete agree. That's like my saying: I'm Ancient and patient.
Haha :) I loved this man it's deep with emotion and its a good story too :) I wish only happiness upon people and thus for you too. Great piece Jack I really like your work its true and passionate keep it up and sent me some rr's :)

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much my friend for your fantastic review of my work. I thought about the question mark, but decided against it, but I don't have a good reason why. I guess I was afraid it might stop me. Love is a funny thing and I may be ancient, but sure wish I was more patient. Thanks so very much.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i love this love this love this...the four leaf clover, it's about time...just when it seems love cannot happen to us...we find that magic.

happened late in life for me too...

this fits...i will wear it proudly.

[Jack...]

Thanks Jacob...written as fiction...hope it changes to fact someday.

[Cassie]

I like having a good read as this on such a morning, thank you for sharing. This is superb

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Sunshine.