Echoed Pleading

 

 

Echoed Pleading

 

Her pain…

My knees are blistered, ripped

Hands clenched, white knuckles

My thoughts echo in my head

Over and over

Can’t you hear me…pleading

 

Her pain…

I’ve carved initials in imaginary trees

Wrote poems in fresh blood

Cried for no reason…yes reasons

My breath is heavy on my chest

I stare up…up…up

 

Her pain…

I am weaker, yet still strong

Singing promises in off tempo phrases

Drowning in sanded fears

Clutching my heartstrings, knotted

Dreaming nightmare’d blemishes

 

Her pain…

I have done the best I can and I will

Smiled when I couldn’t

Laughed as I frowned

Collapsed against my well wishes

Screamed to the heavens

 

Her pain…put it all on me, all on me, all on me, all on me

 

 

Reviews

[gabrielle]

Taking the bullets for the one we love is perhaps the ultimate sacrifice we could offer. Yet, there are those battles that could only be fought by the one concerned and this is even more terrible for we could not do anything to alleviate the pain. Heartbreaking write, jack.

[Jack...]

Gabrielle, I can assure you, I would, without thought, take a bullet for someone I cared for. But you are correct, some pain we can't take away, but just letting them know we would try sure does help at times. To know someone cares is the greatest medicine in the world. Thank you so very much my friend.

[TL Boehm]

another poignant lovely and selfless write. It is so difficult to watch someone suffer and have that burn to take the pain away

[Jack...]

Thank you so much Tammy.

[Marie]

It's a great sacrifice, to be wlling to take another's pain.

[Jack...]

Thank you Marie...not really if you care about them.

[m.s.early]

The narrator captures empathy, how willing we are to sacrifice our own peace of mind for those we love and those we are in love with. I was especially drawn at the end with the font tapering as it repeated. It forced the line to be audible in my head. It sealed the deal as my brain was negotiating with my heart over whether or not to let the poem inside. Sold, Jack :)

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend and just so you know, it was your poem Restoration Part 2 that pushed me over the edge and brought this poem out of me.

[m.s.early]

Wow, Jack. I'm humbled. Truly. Poetry at work is a blessing to everyone involved. What a holistic way to make this site subjectively successful. Thank you.

[Lily Mae]

It's work like this that makes you stand out from any other. Everything you write about comes from a place in the heart.. Not the head spewing out 10 writes a day to make it to the top 10. I feel each word in every write. You hit the heart to the core and allow your readers to absorb it into their space and apply as needed. You are the Master weaver of love, romance, inspiration and friendship.. You Sir, have a pure heart...xoxo

[Jack...]

Thank you so much my sweet friend. This smile I wear right now is because of you.

[Rachelle]

We want to take on the pain meant for someone we love but at what cost to this person? While we selflessly give ourselves up to shield the beloved, the pain meant to push this person towards self-realization, self-understanding and growth would never reach him/her. You end up with a prince/princess in an ivory tower unaware of reality and how to deal with it, forever hiding behind you as a shield: cowardly, incompetent and with little or no empathy towards others undergoing the same. My parents made me face everything while holding my hand and cheering me on. It is the only way an individual can discover himself and what he can do and finally, reach his full potential.

[Jack...]

I agree with you Sweetbind mostly, but if a loved one is in pain, and they are truly a loved one, it is human nature to want to take that pain from them...thanks you for taking the time to read and comment.

[Rachelle]

Precisely, you want to but you shouldn't all the time....

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful and emotional poem. I understand the desire of the poem. We do not want to see someone we care for in pain. We would accept the pain without thoughts. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry on life and struggle.
Coyote

[Jack...]

Thank you so much my friend. I appreciate you stopping by today.

[Dhaye]

Trying to be someone's knight in shining armor? lol

I can see your good heart in this poem, Jack. You're a good man. I know that person's misery will end soon because there's someone praying for her.

A remarkable piece. Kudos!

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Dhaye.

[Dhaye]

You're welcome. =)

[Latifa]

this poem echoes in my mind splendid

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Latifa.

[Vidya Bacchus]

There is so much wonderful description here ,the details so vivid.There is always guilt that we have not done enough for those we love.Your poetry has touched me your your every word from the heart.

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Vidya, I am happy you enoyed this.

[Vidya Bacchus]

I did very much and you are welcome Jack :)

[Cassie]

I can see a lot of imagery here, goes quite well with the pic, you are really good....hope you know that!! enjoy your day my dear friend

[Jack...]

Thank you so much sweet Sunshine. I am only good if I can make you smile.