Echoed Pleading

 

 

Echoed Pleading

 

Her pain…

My knees are blistered, ripped

Hands clenched, white knuckles

My thoughts echo in my head

Over and over

Can’t you hear me…pleading

 

Her pain…

I’ve carved initials in imaginary trees

Wrote poems in fresh blood

Cried for no reason…yes reasons

My breath is heavy on my chest

I stare up…up…up

 

Her pain…

I am weaker, yet still strong

Singing promises in off tempo phrases

Drowning in sanded fears

Clutching my heartstrings, knotted

Dreaming nightmare’d blemishes

 

Her pain…

I have done the best I can and I will

Smiled when I couldn’t

Laughed as I frowned

Collapsed against my well wishes

Screamed to the heavens

 

Her pain…put it all on me, all on me, all on me, all on me

 

 

Reviews

[gabrielle]

Taking the bullets for the one we love is perhaps the ultimate sacrifice we could offer. Yet, there are those battles that could only be fought by the one concerned and this is even more terrible for we could not do anything to alleviate the pain. Heartbreaking write, jack.

[Jack...]

Gabrielle, I can assure you, I would, without thought, take a bullet for someone I cared for. But you are correct, some pain we can't take away, but just letting them know we would try sure does help at times. To know someone cares is the greatest medicine in the world. Thank you so very much my friend.

[therisa]

This poem brought memories of the final months of my Oma's struggle with cancer, and how my dad reacted to gradual decline of his mom. How I made the mistake of saying out loud, she's dying of cancer, to my dad. He reacted by swinging at me, as he broke down and cried. The first and only time, I have seen such emotions, displayed by him, in my life.

[Jack...]

Sorry this brought back sad memories for you my friend but I do appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my poem.

[therisa]

Your welcome, Jack. My dad was a very emotionally controlled person, who rarely showed any strong emotions. Only learned after his death, from a relative, how proud he was, of me, on receiving my BA, in 1994.

[Jack...]

Then that is a good memory.

[therisa]

Would say, its a mixed one. Wished he had told me, at the time, and not from someone else.

[Jack...]

I went through the same thing my friend. Sometimes it just happens that way. Just be happy that he was proud of you, whether he actually said it to you or not. I never thought my father was proud of me, but I have been told he was very proud.

[therisa]

I know, Jack.

[Blue]

That's a creative way to end this piece, Jack. Really.

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Blue. Your sweet words make me smile...always.

[Nusquam Esse]

I particularly like the way that you had the last line fade out in smaller and smaller font. Just a small change in presentation, but it made a lot of difference in the final impression.

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much.

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Wanting to suffer the pain of another, the core of love and selflessness... great work!

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Travis. Your visits to my page are a gift.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

And your work gifts in return.

[Mark]

Yes, that is how it feels. Helpless in prayer, bargaining. The way the final line echoes is perfection. You poured a lot of your heart into this one my friend and it shines because of it.

[Jack...]

Thanks Mark. I like bargaining, wished I had used it in this poem.

[Mark]

The last line is sort of bargaining. At least half.

[MsJewel]

To watch someone we care for suffer is terrible, but to take on that pain is love. You, my friend, have a beautiful heart. It shows in everything you write.

:) Julie

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Julie. Your sweet words always find their way to my heart. I appreciate more than you know.

[Rita L. Sev]

This is the truest love, the desire to take on another's pain... Reading this, I recall a conversation with my mother when my father was dealing with the most painful part of his illness (ironically not the cancer, but the shingles that were a byproduct of the treatments...) She would have taken every bit... Poignant work, Jack.

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Rita. It was inspired by another poem I read on here this week. It touched me so emotionally that I very near cried while writing this.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This is so poignant and sad. It made me think of a man that was being interviewed on Investigative Discovery, whose eleven-year-old daughter was raped and murdered. To paraphrase him, "We have words for a man or woman who has lost a spouse, but there isn't a word in any language for a parent who has lost a child. Perhaps, it's because it's just so painful that there just aren't any words." I have to think to lose a child would be one of the worst things a parent could ever suffer; and as a human being, our empathy should make us all feel this way.

I simply loved this.

[Jack...]

Thanks you so very much Linda. I'm sure it can be used to relate to a number of sad times in life and it is such a shame that it can be.

[Shaun Payton]

Thousands of thoughts at once collided in my mind. Some times we just cant do anything, but love and love the one who is suffering. With that we may ease some of their pain. But Im sure alot of us have wished for others pain to be put on us. This seeped right into my heart and brought some memories with it.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Shaun. I appreciate you stopping by today and leaving such wonderful words for me.

[Shaun Payton]

You are welcome Jack. A couple poems have taken my emotions to a level, I need a moments breakYou are a great poet Jack