~ drowning ~

 

 

 

 

~ drowning ~

 

 

My heart sinks

in a swelling stream

neath dark cloud fed skies,

dodging raindrops

of torrential downpours

 

~ drowning ~

 

Swirling in tidal delusions

of crescent moon frowns

and wallowing tears

falling steadily

drenching my hopes

 

~ drowning ~

 

Desperately seeking

that which was lost,

collecting dampened thoughts

of discarded saturated

feelings

 

~ drowning ~

 

Washing over dreams

on a stuttering zephyr

headed towards the falls

to plunge in the flow

that was once your love

 

~ drowning ~

 

gasping for breath

treading in pain

drinking the fear

swallowing death

all alone

 

~ drowning ~

 

 

 

Author's Note

Thank you reading

Reviews

[Angi]

I was worried when you closed up shop, Jack. This poem makes me think that things are maybe more than a little rough right now. Drowning is such a scary word to me. The thought of being so bogged down that your breath is stripped away is scary to me. Please let me know you are ok, mister. xoxo Angi~

[Jack...]

Hi Angi, just a case of temporary insanity. Thank you so much for your kind words. The truth is I was drowning in paperwork and WC is a huge distraction for me so instead of trying to ignore it, I just shut it down for a little while.

[Angi]

Well, I am glad to see you, Jack. Keep the stress level down, mister!

[Lydia Shutter]

I see you did open your account today. Earlier it was closed. The metaphor of a drowning man is so perfect for the way if feels when a relationship ends. Gasping for breath.....drowning because the dreams have evaporated. Beautifully written raw emotions here, Jack. Lydi**

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Lydi. I always appreciate the smiles you bring to me

[Sami Khalil]

"Desperately seeking

that which was lost,

collecting dampened thoughts

of discarded saturated

feelings



~ drowning ~



Washing over dreams"

I was drowning in the power of the words and sinking feelings...Bravo

[Jack...]

Sami my friend. Happy you enjoyed this one.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)............................

[Pryde Foltz]

gasping for breath
treading in pain
drinking the fear
swallowing death
all alone

I think this is the stanza that says it for me. It is the poem. Another powerful one.

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Pryde

[John Alexander McFadyen]

The metaphor is so well worked in this poem Jack. Drowning is an interesting experience we have both had. The picture was also appropriate.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend.

[Neon]

Great piece... I liked the flow, the concept is nice. Under the water, there's too many things doing .. the first thing's to live and enjoy the time and the other thing's just spread your arms with your whole body under the water .. and take some relax until you don't find the path of a new light of a new world where a peace always hold your hand. I enjoyed the piece... the starting of a life and the ending of a life both're well captured into the words. I liked the theme as well, Jack. This's your one of the great peaceful poem i've ever read. Keep on.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend. Happy you enjoyed this one.