~ drowning ~

 

 

 

 

~ drowning ~

 

 

My heart sinks

in a swelling stream

neath dark cloud fed skies,

dodging raindrops

of torrential downpours

 

~ drowning ~

 

Swirling in tidal delusions

of crescent moon frowns

and wallowing tears

falling steadily

drenching my hopes

 

~ drowning ~

 

Desperately seeking

that which was lost,

collecting dampened thoughts

of discarded saturated

feelings

 

~ drowning ~

 

Washing over dreams

on a stuttering zephyr

headed towards the falls

to plunge in the flow

that was once your love

 

~ drowning ~

 

gasping for breath

treading in pain

drinking the fear

swallowing death

all alone

 

~ drowning ~

 

 

 

Author's Note

Thank you reading

Reviews

[SHEEMA HUQ]

You have captured the torrid isolations or the ordeal, I can almost hear the echo of your call, great work.

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much for your kindness this morning

[icelandicblue]

It would be so much lovelier drowning in love but drowning without it is so very empty. The repetitive use of drowning drives home that slow decent into pained acceptance.

[Jack...]

Thank you so much my friend.

[Ruth]

It is immersing to feel that alone ness...

Beautiful deliverance of that vision here Jack...not easy to face and I like the repetition of "drowning" as it goes along...

Deeper and deeper do we sink...when love is forsaken

xx

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Poppy for your kind words today. It has now become a good day to smile.

[Ruth]

Ah, good! x

[Jack...]

I felt me with you in this one my dear friend, there is a certain beauty and sadness together in this marvelous piece, slowly and with a feeling of suffocation, to hit the bottom line. These darker moods, and beautiful poetry is needed now and then, and it's always treasured with me. I do love to see my real friends, in good and bad, and I hope with my words, I can embrace you a bit... you shall be carried up soon, breathe again... sooner than you will know ;) there are living mermaids underneath the sea mirror, you know ;) beautifully done! x

- Elisa

[Jack...]

Well if one of those beautiful mermaids is named Elisa, then I would gladly give up life on land and swim forever more. Thank you so very much my sweet friend. Your words today thrill me and bring happiness to my world. You are that breath of freeing air that we all need from time to time. Thank you again.

I'm so glad I could give you a smile my dear friend... it could be me, or Robbie, or many more down there, we all miss you when you're not here, or when you're sad we are here to bring you smiles... :) So are you my friend, remember how you helped me... I'm forever grateful to your patience, and true friendship... feel happy today! xo

[Jack...]

How could I not feel happy after your visit my sweet friend. Thank you so very much for your kindness.

The pleasure is all mine Jack :) I'm happy if you are happy! you should never stop sharing your fantastic pen! :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

It's frightening what these emotions do to one's soul... it suffocates and rots the mind.

I felt as if someone is struggling, trying to swim to the surface to regain their breath...
What you have depicted is an intense drowning.... a downward spiral into the sea of loneliness... Well done!~xoxo~

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Robbie. At times it seems so difficult to keep one's head above water. But beautiful reviwes like this sure do help.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I agree, my dear... it's not easy staying afloat...
keep penning!~xoxo~

[Laminators Dubai]

now in drowning....haha
that was moving jack.....
its like jack X 2000...^^

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much.

[Rita L. Sev]

This is chilling, Jack. Water imagery always freaks me out a bit, and you have use it masterfully here. The desperation of losing control - of life, or of a relationship - well mingled in this piece.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Rita. Just how it feels at times.

[eglantine]

Nice break-up stanzas--like taking a gulp of air now and then while actually striving to stay afloat. Only thing is that it's too orderly--I'd make the structure a bit more chaotic--mimic panic. Thank you for sharing!

[Jack...]

Thank you so much E. As I wrote this in my mind he was not in a panic, only instinct caused the fear, but he had already accepted his fate.

[Diana]

Such an apt metaphor. It sounds like it came from a dark well inside. May you not drown in your own well... Wishing you well!

Diana

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Diana. I would be lost without your visits.