Pine needle ashes

Sometimes it just feels that way...

 

 

Pine Needle Ashes

 

 

Each breath hurts,

in my chest and in my mind

Such a poor example of life,

this heaving chest,

up and down, break dancing inside my shirt

not even a consistent rhythm

 

You see it mirrors my heart (a broken metronome) 

in silent convulsions

that no one sees

 

and I become the fool, the giggles from the back row,

that guy picking his nose in the car

thinking he is invisible,

like that cloud on the horizon

attempting to sneak past the sunset

without being noticed…bright florescent pink

 

But I have always been this fool,

I fall, I get up only to fall again…

you would think I would have learned by now

 

My fingers hurt as

they move about the keys

in interrupted design patterns

finding small lettered squares (shapes)

pushing up, harder than I push down,

but not because of the action…

 

it is the words, all of these words

thoughts, ideas, dreams, just as a Christmas tree in a fireplace

up in smoke…though slower, more painful…

 

Pine needle ashes - an empty pile of what could have been 

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[Chris]

You doth protest way too hard... chuckling here. Hi Jack.

[Jack...]

I have to Chris, so I can be heard over all of my constant whining. :)

[Chris]

now you have me laughing...that was soooooooooooo evil a thing to say Jack... Your heart doesn't whine... tease maybe but never whine.

[Jack...]

Well maybe a little of both Chris.

[Emerald Seas]

love the last line, Jack. This is so sorrowful and eloquently written. Thoughts and feelings grab us and just don't let go. Powerful will, that this character tries and falters, yet continues to get up and try again. I think I've had my loves - not sure I would have the strength to put myself through a trust again that is required.... I'm gonna be a cat lady if something ever happens to this hubby of mine! I've learned a valuable lesson on what I can tolerate emotionally - I think I hit my wall a while back! :)

Powerful poem, Jack... I'm sure this is going to come to mind the first time I light the fireplace this season.

[Jack...]

I'm curious...does cat lady mean cougar? Just kidding...thanks so much my sweet friend. Did I ever mention I was a cat person?

[Emerald Seas]

lol - me a cougar, now that is funny! I am intimidating enough as is... haha
I prefer men my age or older... younger just tells me they have some catching up to do! Of course, I am an excellent instructor ;-)

[Jack...]

Where can I sign up for one of your classes? Oh wait, I'm too old for that...oh well.

[Emerald Seas]

Haha - maybe you should be an instructor! hmm... I am not going to continue this conversation haha

[Jack...]

Ok, that's detention for you young lady. You will stay after class.

[Emerald Seas]

:-) .........

[Frieda P]

Sheesh Jack, what a depressing read, what could be sadder than that Christmas tree smoldering in your chest?

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much my sweet friend. I always appreciate your kindness to me.

[Sami Khalil]

I like the allegory Jack for pain as pine needles and how they can burn us in the fire of love and ashen longings...Always wonderful...:)..

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Sami. I appreciate your kind words always.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...:).........

[SHEEMA HUQ]

This poem is beautifully written and presented, exceptional work.

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much my friend.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Very emotional, Jack. Just like my poem Once More, the voice here considered himself as an invisible being. He tried to hide himself from the reality.
I can relate to the pain of the speaker.

The beauty of words behind sadness...Applause!

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Dhaye. I always appreciate you visiting my poetry.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You're welcome.

[Karen]

I honestly don't understand how 22 people read this amazing poem and did not review it. I love the sheer honesty in each line, the expressions of emotions intertwined with imagery that reflects those emotions without hiding them behind verbose wordage (sometimes like I do because I'm afraid to reveal those emotions and be condemned by them). I love the image of the cloud in the horizon, pretending to not be seen only to turn into "bright florescent pink." Thank you so much for writing it!

[Jack...]

Thanks you so much Karen. I suppose some people have different tastes or ideas of what they'll find when they open a poem. Perhaps this was just not what they were looking for. However, I am grateful you stopped long enough to read and left such a wonderful review of my work. I appreciate you visiting my world.

[Lydia Shutter]

Brilliant metaphor...Christmas tree in the fireplace with pine needle ashes....wow! Dreams going up in smoke. How many times must a person go through that before he or she stops dreaming? I think some of us will always be dreamers, Jack. I also think that makes us special.....and I wouldn't change that about myself for anything. Oh, the image of a guy picking his nose in the car made me giggle! Such honest emotions shared in your poem.....a very good one! Lydi**

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Lydi. A christmas tree on fire disappears so very quickly as do some of our dreams, but like you, I will continue to dream until I can dream no more. Thanks you always for your kind thoughts and words to me.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Some very original word pictures here, making it into a very good read. Yes, always get up again and carry on!

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much for you kind words. I truly appreciate it.