Going down

Handprints are all that is left.

 

 

 

 

Going down

 

Handprints appear on these elevator doors,

smudged of grinder swirls, yet so very clear

Imprints of need and want lingering

on a stainless steel façade

 

Rounded numbers beg to be pushed,

no thirteen in this bunch

though appropriate it would be

as my luck has found its way to the lowest levels

 

Standing on this suspended platform

cables of strength weaken with each breath,

emergency exits laugh at my predicament,

as left again slowly reaches out for right

 

Before me you stand, tears on your cheeks

“It is the way it has to be,” you say

The doors close, while through a narrowing vertical slat

I see you walk away…my heart drops…palms on metal…

 

I can not keep them open…anymore

Going

D

 O

  W

    N

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[Astro]

I can envision someone questioning the handprints on the metal doors, anger welling up and distaste setting in. I feel that hidden within these lines is a seething story that could be real or really captivating either way good job.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Astro, I appreciate you stopping by.

[KAOlmsted]

I like the comparison of self to such a hard working mechanical object...an elevator, for chrissakes...who would have thought to do that but you? The message within is melancholy, and it drew at my heart strings (like only you can), but the metaphor is top notch. Thanks for sharing this with us, Jack...

[Jack...]

Thank you Kimmer for such a wonderful review of my poem. Happy like hell you enjoyed this.

[KAOlmsted]

Happy like hell you shared it. My pleasure reading it ;-)

[TL Boehm]

Tried to review this and the WC squirrels stopped scurrying. Trying again. OUCh is what I said last time. And while I was waiting for the post to post I saw your original inspiration. That makes the poem even more amazing.

[Jack...]

Funny what inspires us. Thanks again my good friend.

[Lydia Shutter]

The loss of love and the darkness that follows....expressed so well. The metaphor is unique and appropriate. Bittersweet loveliness. Lydi**

[Jack...]

Thank you so much Lydi. It was actually inspired by a hand print I saw on the inside of an elevator door when I was in Las Vegas last week.

[Lydia Shutter]

Poetry found in a handprint.....only a true poet would be so inspired! Lydi**

[s y e]

"Before me you stand, tears on your cheeks
“It is the way it has to be,” you say
The doors close, while through a narrowing vertical slat
I see you walk away…my heart drops…palms on metal…"

-- Oh my Lord, this brought tears to my eyes, Jack -- I need to go reapply my make up now.... and that was a lot of make up but so worth it, this was so touching, my friend. I love the way you write.

Amazing.

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much my young sweet friend. Be careful, make up is expensive I hear.

[s y e]

It is, very expensive.... :/ Sucks.

[Emerald Seas]

Yep, I know that last stanza well! Felt this one, Jack.

[Jack...]

Always I look forward to and appreciate your visits my friend. Thanks so very much.

[Pryde Foltz]

There is love and yet it must part. Beautiful and tragic write. Thank you, Jack.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Pryde, I always appreciate your visits.

[OTownPete]

May the cable not burst during your descent so that you may find fulfillment again my friend Jack. Your friend in words, Pete

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Pete for your kind words.

[MsJewel]

Sad and bittersweet, yet you wrote this so beautifully. The ending is so powerful. Great writing my friend. :) Julie

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Julie.

[Baby Ricochet]

9/11 changed my life forever. That's for Goddamn sure

[Jack...]

Thank you sir.