An interesting set of descriptions and emotional metaphors. The end is quite funny, and not as hopeless as it may seem, for even if we are dumb as we seem, there is time to remedy that!
nope nope nope. While I get the poem and find it truthful - it is how life goes - I don't see you as dumb. Just my own opinion - I write against myself too. Its what we do. Anyway - loved the set up of this piece - the way the verses break and the parenthetical statements offsetting the piece. I got it. I feel like this.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanks my sweet friend. You'd be surprised at just how dumb I can be.
Sometimes we hit harder than expected..... And it sucks, we have our days where we feel like we're falling then the next we're not, too bad.... I think, this was amazing, Jackomantic. I missed reading you.
Falling...wow what a rush this poem is. It makes me think of a person longing to fall in love head first without trepidation. Then boom at that bottom you are left standing all alone with egg on your face so to speak. Great details that make you feel as if you are free falling into this never ending abyss.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so very much my friend. I appreciate your kind words.
' (no smiley face welcome mats here) ' That phrase stopped me dead, had to read again, then again.. falling for something, for someone, not arriving, not succeeding, being hurt by the obvious? Not quite sure but this isn't just about a fall, but something perhaps more sinister or emotionally hurtful - which is suggestd in that parenthesis. Wonderfully worked, Jack, phrases placed just so.. a little mystery, some bewildered sadness.
Another read: (and I breathe in the exotic aroma) ~~ ' (I am indeed as dumb as I look) '... aha.. methinks a falling for .. but no dumb you, Jack, it's the other who could win that prize!
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
You see through me I think Garden Girl. So kind are your reviews always to me, your words bring earl.. read moreYou see through me I think Garden Girl. So kind are your reviews always to me, your words bring early morning smiles to my world. Thank you so very much.
I got the feeling of falling through your amazing use of imagery here Jack. I felt for the subject when they hit 'reality central' with a thud. How many falls can one sustain before wanting to 'stay down'?
Very compelling work Jack
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Hopefully I'll never know the answer to that question my friend. Thanks so much for your visit today.. read moreHopefully I'll never know the answer to that question my friend. Thanks so much for your visit today and the kind words.
We are only human Jack. We fall often and yes we fall hard but I believe its how we manage the fall, learn from the fall and try and fall a little softer next time.
Great one Jack.
Regards
Troy
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
You are so correct Troy. Learn from our mistakes...thanks so much.
Not dumb my friend but brave. Do I perchance see something of myself in that last line. I do hope I am not rubbing off on you. Eeks. But no, I was fooled and falling along with you and then came the laugh. Well done. Beautifully crafted, I might add.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
It does have a Pryde-like ending now doesn't it...Hmmm. Thanks so much my good friend. Happy you smi.. read moreIt does have a Pryde-like ending now doesn't it...Hmmm. Thanks so much my good friend. Happy you smiled at this.
Not much to tell about me, I am just Jack, I am a poet, a writer, a musician, a painter, a builder and a dreamer. I live in south Texas but am originally from New Jersey and miss it more and more all .. more..