Cancelled

Clipped wings

 

Cancelled

 

Heart upon a runway, cluttered tarmacs

wings of silver and broken promises

luggage is lost in sadder dreams

waiting beyond my imagination

ID shows some smiling man

tears don’t match the face

detained and searched

rushed gates scream

like cattle pushed

offered peanuts

as I miss the

last flight

to your

love

 

 

j

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[SyberRose]

this was great...I stay away from airports and all the hassles now...nicely done Jack and have a safe trip.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Rose.

[s y e]

I loved the structure of this write, Jackomantic - Beautifully presented as always, and some good metaphors.

Have a safe flight, my friend.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much sweetie.

[Pax]

oh, very creatively presented.... and i think the ending is cleverly done as metaphor... great piece mr. J!

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend. I appreciate your visit and your knid words.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Great metaphor, Jack! I like how you carried this one throughout; the flight imagery really gave us a good feel for the way that sometimes life can step in and "delay" us and we have no way of doing anything about it. I loved the imagery, and then the last three lines bring it back down to the personal and emotional. Interesting format as well...difficult to get right, I can imagine. I don't think I could pen something in this form; my pieces are way too scattered :)

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Sarah. I actually wrote this while making airline reservations yesterday, I guess I was just in the mood.

[Rita L. Sev]

Wonderfully executed, Jack - love the form of this piece.

ID shows some smiling man
tears don’t match the face...

A very poignant image...

Well done!

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Rita.

[David Scott]

The visual effect here gives the words a stronger affect towards this emotions of "missing out"...
We have all felt that sinking feeling o missing the bus or the plane. You tap into this familiar feeling to give profound emotions to simple words.
I like the power in this craft! Well done Jack.

[Jack...]

Thank so much David. I always look forward to your reviews.

[kublakhan27]

First of all, shame on me for taking so long to review some of you work...our paths seem to cross a lot but I always get sidetracked by, well, everything haha

This is an ingeniously-crafted piece...the downward spiral of heartbreak and/or lost love is made all the more palpable by it...I was totally intrigued by the ID image, and how we never seem to see ourselves in those photos, which are supposed to be our most definitive proof of existence...a lot of soul and pain and emotion in this piece, great work here Jack.

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Steve. I do appreciate your kind words and I need to visit your world more myself. I'll be landing there shortly.

[kublakhan27]

I look forward to it my friend, feel free to take your time though...I never want people to feel pressured to read me within a given time frame haha

[shallimarRose]

Jack this is a great read. Love the form... like a plane coming into the runway.. Here at LAX thats on the news constantly.. Who cant get in, who cant get out.. I've never been on a plane... maybe one day i'll try.. it would have to be a really good reason.. Well penned sweet Jack.. xo

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend.

[Mrs.Murs]

Are you leaving? Where are you going? great job on this. I think, if i remember correctly, it's called the pyramid? Am I right?

[Jack...]

To be honest I wrote this at left justification and I did make it narrow itself as it got closer to the end, but then I thought, I wonder what it would look like centered and this is what happened. So it may be a pyramid, but I didn't plan it that way. :) Thanks so much for reading.

[Mrs.Murs]

That's cool, are you leaving though?

[Jack...]

Just a business trip for a few days, not disappearing. :)

[Mrs.Murs]

that's good.

[Traci]

Wow, very impressive Jack. Love the format as well as the bittersweet emotions expressed throughout this write. Safe travels, my friend.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Traci. I truly appreciate you coming to the WC airport to see me off. :) I do appreciate you stopping by and reading my little poem here.

[Traci]

Always a pleasure to read your work, Jack. I know I can count on something quite unique that leaves me with a smile.