~Disenchanted Sandcastles

Mine is better

Hi there and welcome to my shameless promotion page...(I'll bet you wish you had thought of this)

 

You can find the poem Disenchanted Sandcastles at the link below:

 

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/friedapickle/1222272/

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Thank you for clicking

Captcha - Masslike

Reviews

[emmajoy]

What i call a beautiful sadness, both writers speaking in such similar styles, no clash of phrasing, no undue frillines, the finest metaphors, a smooth flow of perhaps disilluionment. Both voices have magical areas i can quote without ruffling feathers.. :):

'.. some odd sewn reason collecting ~ on the seams of my thoughts.. ' ~ also ~
'.. were just an illusion ~ their flight plummeting into dark seas enveloping me.. '

There's such a sadness and nostagia here, but somehow it's not a fatality .. maybe cos of the fragile but lovely collection of lines.

(Had to repeat my review here tho, not sure it's necessary - you're both wee tinkers! :)) xx

[Frieda P]

You're such the silly goose Em! I'm sure Jack will muchly appreciate it. ;-) xo

[Jack...]

Thank so much my sweet friend. this was just for fun...teasing Frieda with this. But truly, thank you, I read your review on her page...i appreciate you.

[TL Boehm]

Oh fine. I bit - and I reviewed (and I wasn't sorry) Lured in by that smiley face. Sigh. Well done!

[Jack...]

Gotcha Tammy. Thanks so much my friend.

[s y e]

You two are my two favourite people on here! :) I love you both and when you do a collaboration it is utter perfection. You guys just seem to fit your work in all the right places. You both work so well with imagery and the emotion. This is really heart wrenching but an amazing write.

"on this empty boardwalk, no carousel flashing lights
or pizza vendors counting coins for change, I sit
alone, my touch tracing our initials, carved of better days
worn smooth of memories, and as I know I am to blame
a tear finds my cheek… for I shall truly miss her"

This is an absolute tear-jerker but amazingly well written. I loved it all, it was so well structured.

My kiddiewinkles are all grown-up! (not sure why I said that but.... yeah)

*** wanted to put my review here, too, for Jack! :)

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend. It wasn't necessary though, i saw your review on Frieda's, but thank you for thinking of me.

[s y e]

Yes well I thought it would be an idea, let you both have a review. :)

[Emerald Seas]

Love the captcha! I think you're just making those up now :)
I left my comments yesterday - you should go read them ;-)

[Frieda P]

Hahaha laughing here...I need to hire you to do promotional work for the school!! ;-)