Whispering goodbye

Why?

 

Whispering goodbye

 

 

On the waves of a dream,

I lay waiting on shore,

a cold beach this night

beneath a burdened moon

crying stardust

 

I sink slowly

into the wet sand…

pleading with the waters

for answers to shamed questions,

while counting the shades of violet

framing a weeping sky

 

Thoughts flow like the tides

on an endless journey,

weaving contours and

bends deep within

this sorrow that washes

over me

 

I watch as these waves slip away,

carrying hopes still lingering

and exposing the loss

I feel, fiercely

crashing before my eyes,

in opaque foam

 

I can not move,

my body is still,

my breath salted and tethered,

as I reach

for shadows of my memories,

only to find them…

 

whispering goodbye

on the breeze

 

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

Thoughts flow like the tides
on an endless journey,
weaving contours and
bends deep within
this sorrow that washes
over me

These lines show pure emotion embedded deep withing in not only the mind but the soul. To watch your thoughts and dreams wash out with the tides is devastating. This is a powerful poem with many strong lines and descriptions. The ocean is a great force of nature to compare emotions to.

[E.V. Black]

It is truly my pleasure to read this! Where do I begin? It was beautiful.
I loved how the sorrow and the hope are personified into living things. They float within the water and live within the air. In my mind, I could see them flowing into the air and the sea away from you. Also, I could feel your heart breaking as these things happened. There is much that remains unspoken in this poem. However, it is much that is inferred by the reader. I picked up all of it. It is heavy with your sorrow.

I hope that everything is right in your heart now. You have written a gorgeous and a simple piece worthy of reading!

[Baby Ricochet]

Sad poem. Great job Jack

[Jack...]

Thank you sir.

[InsanityWriter]

Sad, but beautiful... the imagery is perfect, as is everything else. :D Amazing piece!

[Jack...]

Thank you my friend Butterfly.

[Blue Ivory]

This painting is beautiful! And your poem is sad and hollowing...

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much my friend.

[Cara]

On the waves of a dream,

I lay waiting on shore,

a cold beach this night

beneath a burdened moon

crying stardust
really amazing, thank you

[Jack...]

No, thank you my friend.

[Cara]

^_^

[Ken Simm.]

There are so many lovely lines here each one could stand on its own. Taken together they are heart rending.

[Jack...]

Thanks Ken, a friend lost someone she cared deeply for and I wrote this trying with my words to express what she might be feeling.

[eglantine]

"beneath a burdened moon / crying stardust" Lovely as always. One small suggestion: rewrite the "a shore" to fit the rest of the poems diction ( on shore ) just because I don't see any language use like that anywhere else.

[Jack...]

Thank you so much E. I will make that change but have to remove "on" in the next line.

[TL Boehm]

I sink slowly
into the wet sand…
pleading with the waters
for answers to shamed questions,
while counting the shades of violet
framing a weeping sky

I can not move,
my body is still,
my breath salted and tethered,
as I reach
for shadows of my memories,
only to find them…

whispering goodbye
on the breeze

such power in this - that grip of sadness is so very clear. When all we have are our memories and even those fade - this takes me to so many personal places. Poetry is always multipurpose. It conveys the emotion as this does. It allows us to purge, and to deal with what ever it is we are writing about - and its also a caveat for the reader if the reader can be "humble...teachable" This poem says - I have gone through something - you may go through something - so what will you do? Before reach "goodbye" there is that window of time to use - that makes the inevitable less wrenching...I can appreciate your work and I do, Jack. I can also learn from it...

[Jack...]

Thank you Tammy. I am glad you could feel something through my poem. I was very heavy hearted when I wrote it and I am pleased my emotions at the time showed through. I always appreciate when you stop by and FYI- I always learn something from reading your work.

[Angel]

Goodbye is such a hard word to say...
I am remembering the death of my son...he would have been 36 years old that year. I had to go out to the desert to the place where he died, to say goodbye to him.
Oh, how I still miss him...

[Jack...]

Angel, I am so sorry to hear about your son. I can only imagine how hard that must be.