A few minutes more

That's not asking for much is it?

 

A few minutes more

 

 

“A few minutes more?”

he has asked in a whisper

Promising hope

from the depths of his heart

 

Pulling the thread

so it sits ever tighter

Finding the end

as a new place to start

 

Counting the hours,

for they add up so many

Checking his watch

as the sun seems to set

 

Pulling the moon

from the arms that now hold it

Praying for rain,

as that’s all he can get

 

Kicking a stone

near the sand quickly leaking

Rhythms his mind,

will now come soon to play

 

Searching for words,

while the second hand passes

What he expects

at the end of the day

 

Life is so short,

though he brings up the answer,

“Nothing is more

than a heart lost of love”

 

Calling to all,

as if anyone listens,

“A few minutes more?”

he now shouts up above

 

 

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[Monster ^.^]

How vivid and true this one you got here. The picture... just sent shivers down my spine. ^.^ a nice one Jack :)

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend.

[Angel]

I really like this. I can relate to it...it speaks to me.
Just a few minutes more...
Greaat write, Jack!

[Angel]

And now, it is your turn to "return the love", my friend...you have some unread "read requests" you need to make time for, don't you?
*nudge, nudge...

[Jack...]

Thank you so much Angel and yes I have been a bad boy. I will get to those today.

[Aethereal]

The way that you structure each line from each rhyming couplet make them easier read. This reads out loud as a song. What he's holding onto isn't so much life as it is feeling. We're addicted to our emotions. Someone who feels nothing is dead psychologically long before they die. People who feel are the ones who truly die. It's much easier to leave wealth behind, than it is to leave love behind. Most people assume that they will meet up with their loved ones in some kind of mystical afterlife as a defense mechanism to relieve their dread over an impending loss. We have no way of knowing if their assumption of an afterlife is correct, but that's why it works to quell dread. It's not good to know too much if such knowledge is painful. It's better to have the bliss of ignorance, than the pain of certainty.

[Jack...]

Thank you for this wonderful review. All that you have said is correct. We must feel or otherwise there is no point, no need for anymore of anything.

[carol burgess romance]

Very beautiful...love how you use the idea of pulling a thread....very good write as always

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Carol.

[Rahul]

A touchable and a good poem once again by "Jack"..!!
nicely penned, i liked this one much.

[Jack...]

Thank you so much my friend.

[Lily Finch]

very heart touching poem ...!!!

[Jack...]

Thank you Maryam

[Lily Finch]

YOU ARE WELCOME !!!

[Blue Ivory]

It must be a horrific moment to be standing face to face with death. This is dark. I like it. And I love the hopelessness in your tone too.

[Jack...]

Thank you so much my friend.

[Ken Simm.]

Always a few more. Wistful tone to this one Jack. Wistful and loving but not enough from the authors point of view.

[Jack...]

It does feel a bit hollow doesn't it. Thanks Ken

[Ken Simm.]

If you men the poem feels hollow not what I meant Jack. If that feeling of wanting more time to love makes you feel hollow, yes.

[Jack...]

Personally I wasn't too sure about this poem because honestly Ken, I felt it was lacking something but couldn't put my finger on it.

[Ken Simm.]

Still stick with my original analysis. Jack.

[Baby Ricochet]

Ah you know us Americans. We always want more. Good tight rhyme.

[Jack...]

So true my friend. Thanks

[Astro]

It is so selfish to desire extra time on the clock when by it's gift to the desiree, it also brings further suffering for the fallen. But we do, in our efforts to keep love alive. This one makes the heart ache my friend. I know the place, where the sands have run out and thought to myself "Is there any love left here inside?" Very touching. Interesting rhyme scheme as you near the end as well culminating in a golden final line.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend.

[Astro]

You're welcome.