Woo, this is a frisky one with a forlorn tang to it.
crying for your skin…
to rest upon my own
That sent a shiver down my spine, a good one of course, and that last verse is my favorite, actually I love the entire write.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanks so much my wonderful friend. My thoughts seem to be a bit scattered these days so I bring a m.. read moreThanks so much my wonderful friend. My thoughts seem to be a bit scattered these days so I bring a mix of happiness and sadness to the pages. I am so thrilled you liked this and any time I can send shivers down your spine is a good day for me.
11 Years Ago
I've noticed that, to me, that makes for the best poetry, which you've proven here my friend.
Really nice ode to your love. Again I read wonderful descriptions of the sea in your poem. I think you must not only be fond, but quite familiar. There was one set of lines with which, as a suggestion, should you ever think of revising it, I thought stumble a bit in their reading but not at all in their meaning.
"for but your sweet kiss…
to return on the coming tide to me"
It does little harm to the poem itself, I was just halted a bit in my reading and hence my suggestion about it's affect with regards to flow.
Still another beautiful piece though my friend.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanks so much Astro, I appreciate the suggestions.
Third stanza is... fabulous. That's a weak descriptor. Loved it! You manage to weave the romantic poem with a classy tone that delivers each and every time - whether it is a sad longing, or a hopeful love presented, you deliver. Excellent, my friend.
Not much to tell about me, I am just Jack, I am a poet, a writer, a musician, a painter, a builder and a dreamer. I live in south Texas but am originally from New Jersey and miss it more and more all .. more..