Slice
A Poem by Jack...
 When someone says "Friends forever" watch your back 
Slice,
skin falls open and blood does ooze
Slash,
this pain my friend, it’s what I choose
Cut,
nerves they tingle with senses running
Stab,
in the back, I didn’t see that coming
© 2013 Jack...
Author's Note
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Thank you for reading
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Featured Review
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Jack, you were, more than once, brutally honest with me. Now I feel it's time to return the favor.
Whether you write it in a poem or you use a far more direct approach (as I did) you're still stirring the s**t. However, what I find hilarious is that you attacked me for defending myself, in my own fight. This little war doesn't even concern you, or any of us. You may think it does but I assure you, this is not your battle. I know that you love getting all worked up when you hear any passing battle cry, no matter how faint, and maybe that's something you need to question, but, from one friend to another, with much respect, I'm telling you I think you need to leave this one alone.
As to the poem, well, what can I say? The words speak well enough for themselves.
Posted 11 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
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11 Years Ago
The funny thing is, this was written about me and something that happened in my office and for some .. read moreThe funny thing is, this was written about me and something that happened in my office and for some reason it has struck a nerve. Sorry if it offended anyone. I really don't know half of the stuff that goes on around here and I really didn't attack you, I thought I was being helpful at the time. I tried to be courteous about it and when it didn't seem to turn out that way I moved on. Though I did take offense to some of the stuff I received in my inbox, and I did say something about that, but still I forget quickly. My friend, I never had anything against you and still don't. But, I write what I feel at the time, usually based on personal experiences and if someone takes it the wrong way, there is nothing I can do about it. Even the crap that started because of this poem, if you noticed, I stayed far away from that.
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11 Years Ago
really jack? then why don't you explain frieda's comments on this write to my friend jkhatz...don't .. read morereally jack? then why don't you explain frieda's comments on this write to my friend jkhatz...don't fancy you much as a liar, it doesn't suit your character. keep following hatred and you will lose more than one friend. i say this as a friendly warning from one who respected you and was treated with disdain and disrespect. careful, when you handle a venomous viper. you might get bitten...i did.
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11 Years Ago
Why don't you explain Frieda's comments to your friend. I am not Frieda.
And if you .. read moreWhy don't you explain Frieda's comments to your friend. I am not Frieda.
And if you are calling me a liar, we now have a problem.
And speaking of snakes, you removed me from your friend list, no reasons, no comments, no nothing, like a snake in the grass.
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11 Years Ago
we had a problem before that....so gallant you are , to be forth coming with truth. when you chose t.. read morewe had a problem before that....so gallant you are , to be forth coming with truth. when you chose to ignore me i got your message loud and clear...i only facilitated what you desired...now that is a crying shame...be that as it may, your choice, not mine.
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11 Years Ago
I don't recall ignoring you but if that is your reasoning, then I guess that is your choice and if w.. read moreI don't recall ignoring you but if that is your reasoning, then I guess that is your choice and if we have a problem, then we have a problem. What that problems is I suppose you will tell me if you want and if not, no big deal. I personally could care less.
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11 Years Ago
Normally, I wouldn't butt in but because I'm getting notifications of all of your replies, I was com.. read moreNormally, I wouldn't butt in but because I'm getting notifications of all of your replies, I was compelled to read. Jack, you've made a very common error in your comment above, one I detest. Saying you, "could care less," is wrong. You want to say you, "couldn't care less." Allow me to explain. If you could care less, that means that there are many things about it that bothers you. If you simply couldn't care less, that would mean that you don't give a s**t.
For further study, please refer to John Cleese and his brilliant podcast, with charts! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCUsPnKD1gk
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This comment has been deleted by the poster.
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11 Years Ago
Double post.
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11 Years Ago
Makes perfect sense...thank you.
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11 Years Ago
Correction to original: I couldn't care less
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11 Years Ago
jack, i sent you a pm, explaining my position and asking you what the deal was. it was deleted and i.. read morejack, i sent you a pm, explaining my position and asking you what the deal was. it was deleted and ignored. now, i know i didn't delete it, so logic follows that it must have been you....i tried, in earnest, to uncomplicate things and and reach a conclusion satisfactory to all parties...ignored and disappeared...what was i to believe after that? i assumed it was a line in the sand, so i subsequently unfriended you to avoid future woes and misunderstandings....you asked (indirectly) so i have answered...directly
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11 Years Ago
Quinn, I really do not know how you would know if I deleted a PM or not, but maybe you can...however.. read moreQuinn, I really do not know how you would know if I deleted a PM or not, but maybe you can...however, I still have the PM (which means I did not delete it) and I can assure you ( I just re-read it) it asked no question. It was just a statement that in my opinion did not require a reply at the time because I really wanted to stay out of all of this. I really don't know why you feel like you have to drag me into this. I have been as polite as I can through all of this and if you just want to fight with someone, pick someone else. This thread was a discussion between JKHatz and myself in regards to a poem that I wrote. No one asked you to jump in and give your two cents. If you want to review the poem, then do so and if you think it sucks, then so be it.
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11 Years Ago
my whole point is, and has been, i don't want a fight with anyone....and you can be as trifling and .. read moremy whole point is, and has been, i don't want a fight with anyone....and you can be as trifling and abrasive as you like...i still respect the poet within you, always will, i just don't understand the actions leading up to this insanity....i guess i had a much higher opinion of you than you did me...it's okay. i am done, and never again will i put in another cent....peace.
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11 Years Ago
please act like adults...thank you.
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Reviews
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amazing :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
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Excellent pen upon trust---it can bite You in the a*s- yet the kind heart always wishes to.
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Thanks so much
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Short and powerful. I love the color and format. The imagery makes me think of someone being hurt and harming themselves and also of another who is hurt by someone else. Great poem.
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Thanks so much
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i love this piece, it's simplicity mixed with such depth.
nicely written
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Thank you so very much Allura
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If one has been out in the world more than ten minutes, this has, unfortunately, been their experience at least once. We really never see it coming, but it may just teach us valuable lessons, and make us hold our true friends closer. Powerful piece, Jack.
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Thanks so much Rita.
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This was in my PM inbox, Jack...are you trying to give me a hint? xD I mean, I know I've been neglecting my RR queue lately but I'll get to it *laugh*
Okay. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the typo right off the bat-ola..."skin falls opens" should read "skin falls open" or "skins fall open", although I'd go with the former as opposed to the latter in this case.
I like the last line a lot. Who amongst us hasn't fallen victim to this wound? Really powerful piece in its pithiness. Thanks so much for the PM...I appreciate it.
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Thanks Kimmer, I appreciate you allowing me to force you to read this. :)
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11 Years Ago
xD Any time! My absolute pleasure...I haven't checked my mail yet today, anything you'd like to con.. read morexD Any time! My absolute pleasure...I haven't checked my mail yet today, anything you'd like to confess? *laugh*
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11 Years Ago
Gawd, I nearly genuflected. *laugh*
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11 Years Ago
Well there was this sheep...oh nevermind.
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All kinds of physical pain, back stabbing is the worst, you can't see your wounds and it's unexpected. This is really true and it happens in daily life. great write Mr. Jack.
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Thanks so much Marc.
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"nerves they tingle with senses running" seems awkward to me.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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11 Years Ago
Thanks...it may seem a bit awkward, but that is what I wrote. I appreciate you reading and commentin.. read moreThanks...it may seem a bit awkward, but that is what I wrote. I appreciate you reading and commenting.
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11 Years Ago
Yes, that is what you wrote. That's why I'm reviewing it.
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11 Years Ago
Just out of curiosity...I have 250 poems and stories on this site, what made you choose this one to .. read moreJust out of curiosity...I have 250 poems and stories on this site, what made you choose this one to review?
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11 Years Ago
It was on the "writing" page in one of the boxes.
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Jack, you were, more than once, brutally honest with me. Now I feel it's time to return the favor.
Whether you write it in a poem or you use a far more direct approach (as I did) you're still stirring the s**t. However, what I find hilarious is that you attacked me for defending myself, in my own fight. This little war doesn't even concern you, or any of us. You may think it does but I assure you, this is not your battle. I know that you love getting all worked up when you hear any passing battle cry, no matter how faint, and maybe that's something you need to question, but, from one friend to another, with much respect, I'm telling you I think you need to leave this one alone.
As to the poem, well, what can I say? The words speak well enough for themselves.
Posted 11 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
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11 Years Ago
The funny thing is, this was written about me and something that happened in my office and for some .. read moreThe funny thing is, this was written about me and something that happened in my office and for some reason it has struck a nerve. Sorry if it offended anyone. I really don't know half of the stuff that goes on around here and I really didn't attack you, I thought I was being helpful at the time. I tried to be courteous about it and when it didn't seem to turn out that way I moved on. Though I did take offense to some of the stuff I received in my inbox, and I did say something about that, but still I forget quickly. My friend, I never had anything against you and still don't. But, I write what I feel at the time, usually based on personal experiences and if someone takes it the wrong way, there is nothing I can do about it. Even the crap that started because of this poem, if you noticed, I stayed far away from that.
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11 Years Ago
really jack? then why don't you explain frieda's comments on this write to my friend jkhatz...don't .. read morereally jack? then why don't you explain frieda's comments on this write to my friend jkhatz...don't fancy you much as a liar, it doesn't suit your character. keep following hatred and you will lose more than one friend. i say this as a friendly warning from one who respected you and was treated with disdain and disrespect. careful, when you handle a venomous viper. you might get bitten...i did.
|
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11 Years Ago
Why don't you explain Frieda's comments to your friend. I am not Frieda.
And if you .. read moreWhy don't you explain Frieda's comments to your friend. I am not Frieda.
And if you are calling me a liar, we now have a problem.
And speaking of snakes, you removed me from your friend list, no reasons, no comments, no nothing, like a snake in the grass.
|
|
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11 Years Ago
we had a problem before that....so gallant you are , to be forth coming with truth. when you chose t.. read morewe had a problem before that....so gallant you are , to be forth coming with truth. when you chose to ignore me i got your message loud and clear...i only facilitated what you desired...now that is a crying shame...be that as it may, your choice, not mine.
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11 Years Ago
I don't recall ignoring you but if that is your reasoning, then I guess that is your choice and if w.. read moreI don't recall ignoring you but if that is your reasoning, then I guess that is your choice and if we have a problem, then we have a problem. What that problems is I suppose you will tell me if you want and if not, no big deal. I personally could care less.
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11 Years Ago
Normally, I wouldn't butt in but because I'm getting notifications of all of your replies, I was com.. read moreNormally, I wouldn't butt in but because I'm getting notifications of all of your replies, I was compelled to read. Jack, you've made a very common error in your comment above, one I detest. Saying you, "could care less," is wrong. You want to say you, "couldn't care less." Allow me to explain. If you could care less, that means that there are many things about it that bothers you. If you simply couldn't care less, that would mean that you don't give a s**t.
For further study, please refer to John Cleese and his brilliant podcast, with charts! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCUsPnKD1gk
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This comment has been deleted by the poster.
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11 Years Ago
Double post.
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11 Years Ago
Makes perfect sense...thank you.
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11 Years Ago
Correction to original: I couldn't care less
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11 Years Ago
jack, i sent you a pm, explaining my position and asking you what the deal was. it was deleted and i.. read morejack, i sent you a pm, explaining my position and asking you what the deal was. it was deleted and ignored. now, i know i didn't delete it, so logic follows that it must have been you....i tried, in earnest, to uncomplicate things and and reach a conclusion satisfactory to all parties...ignored and disappeared...what was i to believe after that? i assumed it was a line in the sand, so i subsequently unfriended you to avoid future woes and misunderstandings....you asked (indirectly) so i have answered...directly
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11 Years Ago
Quinn, I really do not know how you would know if I deleted a PM or not, but maybe you can...however.. read moreQuinn, I really do not know how you would know if I deleted a PM or not, but maybe you can...however, I still have the PM (which means I did not delete it) and I can assure you ( I just re-read it) it asked no question. It was just a statement that in my opinion did not require a reply at the time because I really wanted to stay out of all of this. I really don't know why you feel like you have to drag me into this. I have been as polite as I can through all of this and if you just want to fight with someone, pick someone else. This thread was a discussion between JKHatz and myself in regards to a poem that I wrote. No one asked you to jump in and give your two cents. If you want to review the poem, then do so and if you think it sucks, then so be it.
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11 Years Ago
my whole point is, and has been, i don't want a fight with anyone....and you can be as trifling and .. read moremy whole point is, and has been, i don't want a fight with anyone....and you can be as trifling and abrasive as you like...i still respect the poet within you, always will, i just don't understand the actions leading up to this insanity....i guess i had a much higher opinion of you than you did me...it's okay. i am done, and never again will i put in another cent....peace.
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11 Years Ago
please act like adults...thank you.
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Hmmm... Why do I feel this relates to me so well? Yet, I don't know who did the stabbing or why. That nagging, gut feeling doesn't go away easily for this fighter.
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
hey there Sera, popping in again I see. Now it is a good morning. Thanks
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11 Years Ago
You're welcome :). Thank you for the warm gift of your RRs on this interesting morning. Needed the t.. read moreYou're welcome :). Thank you for the warm gift of your RRs on this interesting morning. Needed the time to read...
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11 Years Ago
Thank you for the gift of you...how goes it?
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11 Years Ago
Ehhhh... It's interesting. Ups and then some stall outs here and there... Time takes a toll :)
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11 Years Ago
Time can be a teacher and a healer
so many things I've learned from time
Lyrics f.. read moreTime can be a teacher and a healer
so many things I've learned from time
Lyrics from Mike McClure. You know, just take it all in stride. Time does create situations on both sides.
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Stats
1434 Views
34 Reviews
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 3, 2013
Last Updated on May 4, 2013
Tags: knife, cut, stab, back
Author
Jack...San Antonio, TX
About
Not much to tell about me, I am just Jack, I am a poet, a writer, a musician, a painter, a builder and a dreamer. I live in south Texas but am originally from New Jersey and miss it more and more all .. more..
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