Words on the page

Sometimes that is all we have

 

 

 

 

Words on the page

 

A face and a hand in a grand illustration

Still in the corner I hide

Formed of this feel and its lengthened frustration

Longing to come but inside

 

This mountain I climb like a weight ever growing

Changing my whole point of view

And in a dream it is who I am knowing

Given the old and the new

 

Taking that drink from the fountain of memories

Spilling the moments so sad

Stains on the carpet in lines patterned easily

Thoughts that are driving me mad

 

Reaching a bit, to evade their detection

What would the words seem to say

Scared and amiss and in fear of rejection

Cast but the hours away

 

A shrug of my shoulders, the look on my face

All as an act and a screen

For I having fallen this long sentence trace

Words on the page they do scream

 

Taking a sip of the future’s endeavors

Quenching the thirst of my heart

For in this fountain now swimming together

Nothing will keep us apart

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[s y e]

This was a great write, Jack. Beautiful imagery and flows really well.

Excellent writer as always!

[Jack...]

Thank you so much my friend.

[Shivam Murari]

A very good read and extremely well written with appropriate usage of pattern. Even the arrangement of words show the zigzag mental condition of the poet. Except for one small thing that beats me.

"Words on the page they do scream" I think the inclusion of 'do' is useless and also disturbs the meter. I think it would be better if you write "Words on the page, they scream".

Otherwise brilliant :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

"Taking a drink from the fountain of memories"--this line rings so true to me. A fountain of memories is sometimes all that we have...that and perhaps a spring of experiences. I think we use both of these things simultaneously to create words on the page, and words are what we have. Beautiful imagery indeed.

[Jack...]

Thank you so my my friend

[Harrisen Viator]

Jack,
I truly love the rhyme scheme that you chose for this poem, and it is beautiful in the way that you describe the association between the writer and the words. I especially love the imagery that you use to describe how your own thoughts overwhelm you and the only comfort you find is by writing down the feelings you have.
I feel like these lines right here do this so affectively:

"Taking that drink from the fountain of memories
Spilling the moments so sad
Stains on the carpet in lines patterned easily
Thoughts that are driving me mad"

You look back on life and the memories that haunt you with sadness you "spill" upon the page, because it comes easily to you and you just let out the emotions, because they are "Thoughts that are driving me mad."
I totally know the feeling of this, which I'm sure that most writers can understand. Who hasn't looked back on their lives and thought about what has made them sad? I do believe that one thing we writers have above all others is the ability to let go of these troubling thoughts through the use of words, which you show so eloquently throughout this poem.

Everything in this poem flows so well together,

"Reaching a bit, to evade their detection
What would the words seem to say
Scared and amiss and in fear of rejection
Cast but the hours away"

especially these four lines.
You have to reach back for these thoughts and memories, because throughout the day you push them back, because you don't want to think about them, but when you go to write about your thoughts you're scared about what others will think about them, which is something that I believe all writers share. Are people going to judge me because of how I choose to release my emotions? I feel as if the men of this website can feel this especially, because of how we are taught to hide our emotions, but you do a wonderful job at conveying these thoughts in those lines. And despite those thoughts, we continue to write and share them even though we are scared of rejection.

"A shrug of my shoulders, the look on my face
All as an act and a screen
For I having fallen this long sentence trace
Words on the page they do scream"

These four lines give a good indication of how you go about showing your emotions. You are passive on the outside, but the words of your poetry and what you write about "scream" your real thoughts. I love how you personified "Words" This was very well done.

The final four lines do a wonderful job of showing how you just keep doing what you are doing, because it all around makes you feel better ("Quenching the thirst of my heart")

I honestly believe that this was a wonderful poem and I hope that I was able to understand the meaning that you were trying to convey, but this is what I understood from reading it.

Your friend,
Harrisen

[Jack...]

Thank you so much for this wonderful review. In most cases you are correct, these thoughts and memories od have a tnedency to hide until I start writing. It is then I find that they show themselves to me. Thanks again

[Baby Ricochet]

This would be a great theme poem for the WC. Judging by some of the flame wars on here I think the official WC theme poem is titled "Go f**k yourself you hack" or something like that. This poem would be much better. It's pretty, it's well written. It beautifully describes what some of us try to accomplish on here. Sometimes I don't know what in the hell I'm trying to accomplish on here but this was a great poem. Thank you

[Jack...]

Thank you sir. I think we all wonder that at times.

[Sami Khalil]

"Taking that drink from the fountain of memories

Spilling the moments so sad

Stains on the carpet in lines patterned easily

Thoughts that are driving me mad"
I like how you described the stains line the carpets patterns and that words can be mere words if we don't put emotions and feelings or true thoughts along with them.
Jack: You always weave great Persian luxury carpets of love and beauty...Pen on dear friend...:)

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much my dear friend. I always appreciate you stopping by.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure . Ant time ...:)

[quinfinn]

words, jack. when you have them ...you have them! this is very good. i know this place, been here. all you do is slay me with memories when you write like this and i am loathe to comprehend how another may feel these parts of my life so deeply and so well. it seems we have a commonality which is inescapable, for you know who i am almost as well as you know yourself. awesome piece!

[Jack...]

Thanks so my Quinn. Sometimes I wonder how well I actually do know myself.

[Emerald Seas]

Sweet sadness entwined within a love of writing and dreaming. Caught up in sorrows or writing of our moments of elation - it is a romance difficult to pull away from. I also felt this had a hint of a lover sharing in this thought... Could go either way, but there is a hint of it there that speaks. Lovely thoughts!

[Jack...]

You do seem to understand me very well. Thank you so much my dear friend.