In my head

Thoughts and dreams and hopes and fears

In my head

By Jack Ivey

 

Collectively lodged deep down in my head

The world it continues to spin

Brilliant colors of satin like thread

Flowing so free in the wind

 

Windows are opened to places I’ve known

Memories waiting to be

Messages triggered as I walk alone

Ripples on vast empty seas

 

Mountains to trace on horizons of loss

Fountains of red flowing wine

Caverns of dreams that do come with a cost

Lost in the shadows of time

 

Scenic endeavors of flowering fields

Love in its picturesque form

Teardrops of pain now so often concealed

Raining from clouds in the storm

 

Happiness lurks every hallway I take

Rivers of blood I have bled

Collectively lodge way deep down inside

These are the thoughts in my head

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

mmm. love this one. I am a born daydreamer. I catch myself doing this - so I found the poem so appealing. This work is highly visual, the satin like thread, flowering fields, fountains of flowing wine - the alliteration is wonderful and natural throughout. Wonderful poem

[Jack...]

Thank you so much. I too daydream, perhaps a little too much.

[s y e]

This was such a honest, great write, Jack. It seems different from the other ones I have reviewed.... I think I'm wrong though.....?

Beautiful imagery! I loved it all, amazing as ever.

[Jack...]

Thank you my sweet friend. You could very well be right, I have changed my style a time or two in this one was written some time ago.

[s y e]

Ah, yes! I loved it! You can always pull it off, so job well done!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Ah, the thoughts that swirl in the brain of a creative soul. It sounds as though you've been walking around with me and listening to my own thoughts. I quite liked this one...the beat and rythem of this one is just sublime. You didn't miss an opportunity to infuse beautiful imagery and emotion into this one. I love "Mountains to trace on horizons of loss/Fountains of red flowing wine"--beautiful lines. You always amaze me, my friend.

[Jack...]

Thank you sweet Friday for your always kind words to me.

[Veronica Chandler]

This one seems like a new vibe for you compared to the ones I have reviewed before and I mean that in the best possible way. Beautiful, honest and open, which is how I would normally describe your work but this one is unique. Your gift with words and painting images with them seems to move me every time.
Superb!

[Jack...]

Veronica, thank you so very much. I truly do appreciate you and your always kind words to me.

[shallimarRose]

The words in your head huh? I loved this piece Jack.. This line.. "Windows are opened to places I’ve known Memories waiting to be, Messages triggered as I walk alone"

Strong write ... Rose

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much sweet Rose.

[Frieda P]

You killed me with this one Jack, my mind is darting all over the place.

'Rivers of blood I have bled
Collectively lodge way deep down inside'

These are no candy coated kisses, real life gets in the way and drags us down, the feeling is palpable in this one. I bled tears with this read.

[Jack...]

Thank you so very much Frieda. Like you, I often have to lay these things out for all to see in order to exorcise them from my mind. Thank you for reading and thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my friend.

[Kristallo]

This is exceptional writing. It isn't so often that I read poetry with such a structured rhyming scheme that doesn't come of as... blase? You have such a gift for expression in highly visual and dramatic descriptions that don't wander off in excessive 'wordiness' (the way I tend to do) but are direct and kindled from the soul. So much here to admire, lines that stuck out for me and resonated were, "Teardrops of pain now so often concealed... raining from clouds in the storm." Hiding pain from the people you know and love becomes second habit after so long... you've so accurately captured the essence of a soul taunted by sorrow, heavy with memory. My favorite section is here, it is so eloquently expressed..


Windows are opened to places I’ve known
Memories waiting to be
Messages triggered as I walk alone
Ripples on vast empty seas

The last line, fantastic... I was also quite moved by your first stanza. This is a wonderful composition, skillfully thought out. Great job!

[Jack...]

Wow, I am humbled by your beautiful and caring review. These come as my inspiration and I am so thnakful for friends like you dear Kristallo.

[Kristallo]

My pleasure, Jack. :)

[Emerald Seas]

Are you trying to bring me down, Jack? Another full of sadness. Pain can be so harsh, we can feel as if we've been ripped open. Your form is fabulous. How do you throw these rhyme and meter schemes together so easily and quickly?
Hugs! Wonderful penning!

[Jack...]

Thank you so much my sweet friend. I truly believe I dream in rhyme and meter. But then I realize that with so much inspiration around me, in the form of good friends like you, my dreams are a bigger part than I expected, for I get to sit back and watch them all come true.

[Androglossia]

You rhyme good. I say this because I suck with rhyming. The rhythm as well as the meter is very well done and I think that the whole poem is well thought out. I've tried doing something like this in the past but I ended up getting a headache. And still it wasn't as good. This is quite enjoyable.

[Jack...]

Thank you Maryanne, for you kind words.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the bleeding, the horizons of loss...so much sadness in the memories...

imagery puts us there, makes us feel this.

jacob

[Jack...]

Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind comments