East

A poem for the 10/40 contest

East

By Jack Ivey

 

Bound, this prison suffering

Of armor dressed and wrapped

Displeasured den of last resort

This moment standing trapped

 

Though future leads the wandering

And points towards the east

Of tattered skin and broken bone

You stride to kill the beast

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[quinfinn]

i am beginning to get the sense that you are not only profound but also prolific....this is excellent!

[Jack...]

Thanks so much

[Carolann Dowsett]

This is great very thought provoking, I wonder if the beast is an internal or external thing that we are trying to kill. Another great write Jack.

[Jack...]

Thank you Carolann

[Carolann Dowsett]

Welcome :)

[icelandicblue]

I can only think of a dragon waiting for its own demise. I like the realistic fantasy of the piece, if you know what I mean.

[Jack...]

Thanks I am happy you enjoyed it

[Lexi I.]

Great imagery. This is one of those poems that requires you to give it thought. You do an awesome job of playing with words, and the lack of punctuation allows for reader interpretation as to what is being read and what images are being created...

I hope you win!

[Jack...]

Thank you so much

[Emerald Seas]

I read your comments below about the use of color in the writing. I find it distracting from the message and had to read it over a few times to capture its essence. With the contest & guidelines I think you did an excellent job for the challenge.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much

[Shaylynn H.]

I think a little less red would really make some of the words hit home more, just personal opinion really. Like they say though, emphasis should be used as little as possible. To each their own.

[Jack...]

Thanks, but this was for a contest and they wanted the key words (they provided) highlighted, so I just used red. Would another color be better?

[Shaylynn H.]

If that's all its for, than no I guess it's fine. In my spare time (cough cough) I'm actually getting a degree in design. So typography has been burned into my brain.

[Jack...]

I will change it back after the contest. A degree in design sounds awesome, very cool. How long do you have to go?

[Shaylynn H.]

Until May. It's actually Creative Digital Media - which qualifies me for print design, web design, graphic design and video editing.

[Jack...]

That sounds very cool. Good luck.

[Shaylynn H.]

Thank you.

[Nick.B]

Interesting composition, and how the key words are showing...great poem

[Jack...]

thank you very much.

[KAOlmsted]

Cool. I like the format and I like the spurts of color. Well done.

[Jack...]

thanks so much

[KAOlmsted]

Of course ;-)

[I, Rene]

Love on the rocks in 40 words or less, I think it's wonderful and you have done an amazing job in only 40 words! A challenge I'm not sure I'd be able to take on and succeed in such a way.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much. It was a challenge

[David Scott]

This read as a poetic commentary on the fighting in the Middle East.
I don't love the format, but you pulled off a meaningful write I think.

[Jack...]

Thanks David, It was for the 10/40 contest. The highlighted words were key words I had to use in a 40 word poem. So this is what I came up with.

[David Scott]

Yes. That was obvious...
I think that was why it did not "pop" for me...
Still a good job with your hands tied.

[Jack...]

You should see what I can do when I'm wrapped in duct tape.