Into the Sunset

Into the Sunset

A Story by Jack...
"

Colonel John Hammish is hungry, very hungry, so hungry he could eat a...

"

Into the Sunset

Jack Ivey

 

Colonel John Hamish rides into town slumped over in his saddle. The strength to sit upright has slowly seeped from his wounds. Though not lethal, the wounds have depleted his body of the nutrients it needs. The sun has been most unkind, glaring in a cloudless sky for days on end. It is the dead of summer, and even the night air allows little relief from the heat. His horse foams profusely from its bit-shackled mouth, dragging its hooves as exhaustion grips tightly to its every muscle. The weary steed is barely able to keep ahead of the dusty dry cloud it creates.

 

The journey to this tiny settlement took three days"from what Hamish can remember, though to lose count would be easy for a man in his condition. Hunger rips at his stomach with unending abandon. He'd left Fort Parmidor on Friday, but his memory of this action is now shadowed within the hazy fog that grips his mind. What had caused him to leave his comrades at the fort was something he wrestled with during his trek across the plains. Hamish digs deep to remember the battle"the last battle he fought. His mind draws a blank. He can hardly see their faces, and the names of the men in his regiment elude him. His hunger is insatiable, clawing at his insides. He needs to find something to eat soon, or he will go completely mad. This hunger is something he can’t fight as easy as that melee back at Parmidor.

 

Memories begin to come back to him. Indians! He remembers Indians; savages on horseback attacking the fort. It happened at first light. Yes, that's it! He was in his bunk asleep, trapped within a nightmare. He remembers waking from the nightmare when he heard…what had he heard? A bugle blaring? No, it was no bugle"it was screaming...

 

Food, he needs food, nourishment of some kind. But it is late, and the small town of Broken Branch is asleep. Someone will be awakened for Hamish must eat! He falls from his saddle; his body hits the street, causing a cloud of dirt to swirl over and around him. One of his three remaining brass buttons releases from his jacket and rolls in a short path away from him, leaving a straight line etched in the soft road. The line reminds him of an arrow. Yes, an arrow! He was hit in the shoulder. He reaches his hand to his left shoulder and confirms the wound. Still fresh, still alive, teeming with activity. What the hell kind of talk is that?

 

He remembers being hit; he was just outside the gates having returned from -- bodies. Mutilated bodies flash through his mind. His men, their screams, the screams that woke him-- their skin had been torn from their bodies, skinned -- alive? Yes. They were screaming, agonizing screams; his head had pounded from the sound. He had moved about the bunkhouse, going from bed to bed checking his men, finding them"oh god!"without skin; writhing in pain, reaching for him, the looks on their skinless faces. How could he ever forget? He did not want to remember.

 

Hamish shakes off the horrible memories and works his way up to a standing position. He scans the town in which he has just arrived. A barber shop, mercantile and the sheriff’s office all in a row behind a boarded walkway. He spies a bank"First National Bank, he reads on the window. He doesn't need money; he needs food. The pain in his stomach feels like someone is boring a hole in his side. He sees the Last Chance Saloon at the end of the street and a short chuckle escapes him; he hopes it's not his last chance, but if he doesn’t eat soon, it just might be. The shadows of the matchstick buildings lay lazily upon the ground by the light of a full moon. No other light is showing; no one in the town is stirring -- stirring?

 

A new memory is triggered. He was tied... tied to a pole"or was it a tree? Yes, a tree. And they were stirring something in an earthen clay bowl. The bowl was decorated with brown and red paint, colorful yet muted.

 

What does that mean, colors, muted? He tries hard to remember, but his mind can focus on nothing for long but his need to eat. The hunger is rooted deep in his suffering like a plant. Plants! In the bowl!

 

The plants were unknown to him, local he believed, but not anything he was accustomed too. His captors ground the plants upon a stone and stirred them into" into what? He strangles his mind to release the answer: stirred them into" an elixir. A potion, they had called it. Yes, a potion that...

 

Hamish is startled from his thoughts by a noise, movement; perhaps a source of food coming from behind some nearby barrels. Using what little energy he has left, he obeys the hunger, and slowly moves in the direction of the noise. The pain is killing him, literally tearing his stomach to shreds. If only he could…

    

Damn, it’s only a cat. The slender black feline meanders down the street, but does not cross his path. It might as well have crossed my path, he thinks. My luck can't get a whole lot worse. Then something catches Hamish's eye. What is this? Growing beneath one of the barrels are small green leaves with twisted veins. It's the plant... that damn plant the Indians were crushing and mixing into their potion. Indians!

 

More memories come rushing in. He'd been captured. They'd caught him off guard. He'd been on a routine scouting mission when those damn savages had crept into his camp and taken him in the night. He'd thought they were going to kill him, but no, they didn’t. They- they had tied him to a tree, and he had watched as they concocted their recipe, this... potion. They had used a knife to cut open his shoulder, then smeared the...

 

A rooster crows; Hamish blinks back to reality. Dawn must be close at hand. Hamish looks to the east and finds a faint hint of gold is peeking above the deserted horizon. Soon morning will call, and the townspeople will be about. He moves slowly towards the closest building"the barber shop"the hunger pleading, begging him to satisfy it.

 

Another memory flashes into his mind: He could not take anymore of the pain, the desperate pain the potion caused as it was placed on his open wound. They laughed; those damn red skinned b******s found it funny. What did they put on my wound? It burned like fire. He could feel it moving through his blood, consuming him. God! the pain, the pain! When he awoke, he was outside Fort Parmidor, banging on the gates, screaming to be let in. The guard had recognized him, and the gates had opened. He was back and he was alive, or so it had seemed.

 

The memory fades, and Hamish finds himself back in Broken Branch. He forces his steps up onto the plank board walkway; it creaks under his weight. He walks inside the barber shop. It's empty. The chrome and leather chairs hold no one, it must be too early. Food... he just needs food. Hamish must eat! He braces himself against one of the barber's chairs, and closes his eyes. His mind travels back in time.

 

He is safe, back inside the walls of Fort Parmidor. He makes his way through the fort until he reaches the barracks. His men are sleeping peacefully, there is no movement inside. And then... screaming; that terrifying screaming, raging against his brain. Why are they screaming? It is just him, Colonel John Hamish, he just needs to eat and he cannot control it... his appetite, the appetite for human flesh. The potion! That damn potion they called carnecenar. He remembers now: carnecenar: flesh eater. His soldiers' fire on him with rifles and slice at him with their knives, but it has no effect. Their weapons pierce his skin, but he feels no pain, and there is no blood. Well, not his blood anyway. His men put up a good fight, but all succumb in the end to his craving for flesh.

 

The barber walks in, waking Hamish from his nightmarish memories and shouts, “Who are you, what are you doing…”  Hamish is on him, eating his flesh before he can even finish his sentence. Hamish must eat! The barber’s cries, his deafening screams, resonate in Hamish's head. The townspeople come running to the sound of the dying barber's screams. Hamish smiles a ghoulish smile, blood and flesh dripping from his mouth. It is time to feast.

 

***

Twilight approaches as Hamish places the last body on the pile. He climbs back upon his horse, his appetite satisfied for the time being. The next town is three days away.

     I can make it, he thinks, as he rides off into the sunset.

 

 

 

© 2013 Jack...


Author's Note

Jack...
A story about a different old west

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Reviews

Oooo! Quite eerie. ;) I love how you led up to that ending! Spectacular short story!! (:

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jack...

11 Years Ago

Thank you so very much my friend.
Wooo, simply amazing, not the regular spaghetti western, but still a great west indeed. Amazing write

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jack...

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much Nick. Welcome to my dark side.
HO LEE COW! I bow to you! I would never have expected this from you - a gruesome, horrific, bleak tale like this. I have to peel my eyes off the screen. Wow. IMPRESSIVE - the acid from your pen is just as strong as the honey. I actually knew something was up but I figured he might eat the horse. I was braced for that. Well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jack...

11 Years Ago

Nope, sorry...only human flesh. Thanks Tammy, you have found my dark side.
I gotta admit I was hesitant at first but only because war stories and or westernish stories are not my favorite...BUT, this was neither to my plesant surprise.

I love the flesh eating monster bit! And I really like that you crafted it so that this was not revealed until the end. But I am totally crazy about sci fi and horror stuff. This was very well written for a short story. Totally sucked me in and kept me entertained all the way through. Great job! I want more!!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jack...

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much. I was hoping you would like it.
There is no doubt in my mind that this piece deserved to win my Tales of Madness contest. It is a wildly creative idea written incredibly well.

The shift from present to past and abck again is clear by your change in tense and language use, and I love the way the true story is slowly revealed as it goes. Only after completing the whole thing do you understand what has been happening since the beginning. Often this kind of writing struggles to a forced ending, but not this one.
Your point of view is also interesting. You follow his train of thought, but from a thrid person view. This helps to separate hamish from hir memories and driving forces, which seems to be a dominant theme.
I have very little critisism for this, although I do believe a more graphic description of the the barber's death (in physical terms, rather than just the sounds he makes) would greatly enhance the climactic ending.
Congratulations on a marvelous piece of writing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jack...

11 Years Ago

Thanks so very much. The suggestion about the barber's death I have heard from others, I may revisit.. read more
A very different West indeed!
Some parts were really hair-raising. The flash of memory where he remembers those men skinned alive...
I loved the horror factor and found this a great concept. Cannibalism is very intriguing and interesting stuff.
Could you have made the attack on the Barber more descriptive and longer in narration for us to enjoy. But it's just a suggestion.
You must go on with such writings, they are different and a break from usual poetry

Posted 11 Years Ago


This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Jack...

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much. Horror is not really my genre, though I received word today a story I submiited t.. read more
AYVID N

11 Years Ago

After reading the stories, I would suggest you take it up more. You can do good horror. Makes for a .. read more
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece! There are a few things I think you could work on in the future though I'm not entirely sure if I can explain them. Your flow seems to cut off at some points. I'm well aware that some of these points are intentional considering the random thought patterns of the main character, but there are some cases where I feel it was unintentional. You can possibly help this "flow" of thoughts by rounding them, and maybe even rephrasing yourself to lead back to the original thought, then train on further to the next parts of the story. It's like you "branch" out from the story at times when you really need to "loop" back around. Does that make any sense?

Your tenses were off in a few areas, but those are easy mistakes with easy fixes. I think you told us that "he was reflecting" back on his memory too much. You still showed us what was happening though. (Stating this another way, just don't tell us that "he is about to be reflecting on the tragic event.")

Okay, those are the only negatives I was capable of pinpointing. I fell in love with the areas you chose to describe. You never gave us a raw profile of any of the characters, (or at least one I can remember,) which left it up to our imaginations to fill in. Instead, you described the condition of the main character. WELL DONE.

This is definitely one of your better pieces that I will remember! Thank you for sharing. :)
--Chris

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jack...

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much. I will take your suggestions to heart.
Ok well I wasn't expecting that! Wow that was a riveting read. Rather gruesome but very enjoyable.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Very different indeed. A gruesome writing. But good anyway.

The plants were unknown to him, local he believed, but not anything he was accustomed too(TO).


Posted 11 Years Ago


wow, very eerie. Great how you bring the hero and and slowly give the reader the info. Well done I really dig it!

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on January 11, 2013
Last Updated on January 31, 2013
Tags: West, Soldiers, Indians, Death, Hunger

Author

Jack...
Jack...

San Antonio, TX



About
Not much to tell about me, I am just Jack, I am a poet, a writer, a musician, a painter, a builder and a dreamer. I live in south Texas but am originally from New Jersey and miss it more and more all .. more..

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