Mental Central: Nobody's SingingA Stage Play by jackfoster Inspired by real events, this story takes the audience inside a state mental hospital to meet fascinating characters who are affected -- directly or indirectly -- by the careless death of a minor. PLAY Title: ”NOBODY'S SINGING” (MENTAL CENTRAL) Revised- June 2016 Written by: Jack Foster Registered LOC-2006 CAST & ENSEMBLE CHARACTERS: • LEO �" BM�"mid-30s- “Patient Trustee”. Cocky and smart he’s facing the prospect of losing two of the things he values most. A fluke of heroism enhances his grandiose, paranoid thinking and he hatches a plan to prevent his losses. • MAVIS KIRKPATRICK /aka/ BEAUTY�"BF-mid- early 30s. A young, naïve, newspaper reporter whose selfish, professional desires cause her and her fiancé to land in their own ‘Alice In Wonderland’ nightmare. (aka = also known as) • ZORA CHANCE�"BF-Mid-40s. The ex-military medic and currently a State government political appointee who finds herself working at a State mental hospital about which she knows little. She finds she’s no choice but to set in motion “whistle blower” action after learning of too many preventable deaths. • MR. ZIPP�"BM- 49-53 years old- who is the head Administrator of Mental Central State Psychiatric Hospital. Since he only “talks the talk” he has let his comfortable position aid and abet inhumane treatment and now shockingly finds that his entire life’s future lies outside his control • DR. DITHER�" WM--The 50-60 year old, indecisive, whinny, head Psychiatrist, whose main concern is that his doctors get their share of the credit and none of the blame. This attitude keeps him at a verbal disadvantage when he’s at odds with the head of nursing. • MS. TWISTER �" BF /WF--The 42-45 year old experienced, Registered Nurse whose policy-rules-quoting, argumentative, controlling, approach irritates everyone�"although she is usually correct. She is in charge of all nurses and nurse aides at the hospital. Manipulative and cunning but she knows how to “straddle the fence” or ‘twist’ the rules to keep things within the bounds. • MR. PINCHER�"WM- 60-62yrs-- Patient--The pompous, stuttering, thrifty-to-a-fault hospital finance manger who stays frustrated by the spending mixed messages he gets from the head of the hospital. He’s eagerly looking forward to retirement. • STUDENT NURSE �" WF- 20-23yrs old. Young, chatty, senior nursing student who is over-eager and asking one too many questions of the Patient Trustee while trying to satisfy her one goal�"graduation. But she learns something unimaginable, and then follows her heart by keeping her promise to a patient. • MR. SMART �" WM--Patient-mid-30s. The laid-back, former stock broker who became too mentally ill to work legitimately because his stock scheme landed him in the Forensic Unit. His computer hacking skills become an invaluable asset. • GAMBLING GREEN�"BM -Patient: 54-57 years old. He’s the “professional” gamesman (‘numbers runner’) and malingerer who gained illegal, unofficial entry into the hospital�"which he thinks of as his perfect hide-out. He credits the hospital with saving his life. • J-ROD-Nurse Aide- BM- early 30s -The sensible, dependable, experienced Forensic Unit Nurse Aide who is firm but compassionate. Overworked, he is finally pushed to his limit and finds his ‘voice’ and speaks out. • NURSE KANDI- BF / HF �" 26-32-yr old beloved Registered Nurse who is the charge nurse head of the Forensics 2 Unit. She knows the “right thing” when it comes to patient care, but crosses the patient-professional clinical boundary so well known in psychiatry. • CHIEF�"BM /WM�"60-64yr old Chief of Police--the hospital’s force who can almost “taste” retirement, but finds he must think harder than ever dealing with loss of equipment and competent staff. His few words often speak ‘truth” in the crunch. • LT. WAIT�"BM�"The 27-30yr old, attractive, not so smart, Policeman who wants desperately to please his Chief --as much as he likes pleasing the ladies. • HECTOR�"HM �"Patient -26-28 year old ex-military Iraq war veteran who lost his security job possibly due to “flashbacks” (PTSD). Strong work/career desire. • MS. LILLY-WF- Patient-29-31year old, young, delusional figurine artist who loves all things southern and beautiful. Has a strong southern drawl. Her act of terror landed her in the hospital. • MS. HATTIE- BF �"Patient--58-61 yr old elderly, married pianist who had alcoholic “black outs” that resulted in a serious crime. Her creative ways with fruit has allowed her to maintain and sustain her semi-alcoholic state while an inpatient�"adding to her religious delusions. • MR. TIGGNER-WM- 71 yrs old--Patient- stately, proud, former gentleman of Irish descent and wealth, who has fallen on hard times. He harbors an obsessive, unusual fear and speaks with a slight English /Irish accent. • CHET JAMES-WM- mid-30s--experienced newspaper reporter who makes a risky, illegal, and dangerous decision. PATIENT ENSEMBLE- The ever-present 5-7 hospital patient roles, male and female, who mill about/pace/walk/sit/ fight/ sleep /play cards/ around in the Dayroom of the Forensics 2 Unit. Also, they act in other roles: The non-speaking DOCTOR role, the non-speaking role HOUSEKEEPER , role of Rosemary's BOYFRIEND (non-speaking), VOICE of TV ANNOUNCER, the LEAD INSPECTOR (WM) �"INSPECTOR RN- BF, INSPECTOR PSYCHOLOGIST - WM, and JUDGE ZANE - BF�" (The criminal courtroom judge who holds administrative hearings for certain types of hospital patients. She is caught in the middle: The jails are over-crowded with prisoners in dire need of psychiatric testing before trial but empty beds are scarce for courts to use.)
During the year of 2006 • A patient death occurs January 2006 • State Inspectors arrive in spring of 2006 SETTING / LOCATIONS: The play is set in the fictionalized Mental Central State Psychiatric Hospital�"-- somewhere in Georgia, USA. Most of the scenes occur in the Forensic # 2 Unit: The Patients’ Dayroom , The outdoor “Cage” or Fenced area, “Bubble Window Room (Seclusion Rm)”, the Hallway, or the Meeting Conference Room/Administrative Hearing On this Forensics Unit�"a locked patient unit-- there is the Patients’ Dayroom/ Living Room from which the patients bedrooms open. In the Dayroom/Living is the television and access to the Nurses' work area. From the Dayroom there are several other doors: One that leads outdoors to the Fenced Area (which patients and staff nicknamed “The Cage”). Another door with a plastic bubble window for viewing secluded, restrained, sedated patients. It is known as the “Bubble Window Room”. The main EXIT door is from the Dayroom. This door requires a key and a loud locking sound is always heard /noted when this door is opened and /or re-locked.
The Conference Room has a door that is also locked leading from the Patients’ Dayroom. The Conference Room serves as a meeting room for the hospital head’s staff’s meetings, and as a hearing room for visiting administrative law judges. A few scenes take place in a local PARK / on the park bench. One scene occurs in a hallway off the Conference Room�"while a patient Trustee is painting the hall walls. A heating vent flows from the Conference Room, opening into the Hallway, allowing eavesdropping by the patient as he paints the walls.
ACT I �"DEADLY SILENCE ACT II �" BEAUTY’S ON THE INSIDE ACT III �" THE INSANE DECIDE ********************************
ACT I ACT I- DEADLY SILENCE TIME: sometime in early January 2006; 5:00 am one morning SETTING: Mental Central State Psychiatric Hospital; Somewhere in Georgia, USA; Teenage Unit-- The Patients’ Dayroom STAGE LIGHTING �" Dim; a spotlight shines on the door of one teen patient's bedroom door (No dialogue is spoken during this scene.)
The hospital Chief of Police is sitting at a table writing in a small pocket notepad. Nurse Kandi is standing, stares at a bedroom door-- holding a medical chart tightly to her chest. Chief quickly stands as a stretcher is wheeled out of the bedroom by two ambulance personnel�"EMTs (Emergency Medical Technicians). A white sheet covers a dead body. A Teddy Bear lying on the stretcher falls to the floor. Two Mental Central hospital staff---Ms. Twister, and Dr. Dither, walk behind the stretcher into the Dayroom. Ms. Twister reaches for chart Nurse Kandi is holding and writes on it furiously. The physician, holding a clipboard, stops at the table, flips and writes on several pages. He hands the pages to the EMT personnel. As the other patient bedroom doors crack open and they peek out, the Chief quickly and silently walks to each door that opens and motions for the patients to stay inside as he re-closes each door. As soon as he moves on to another open door the previous patient re-opens his or her door and peeks. The policeman repeats his actions over and over�"quietly and gently. With her key, Ms. Twister unlocks the door (a loud locking sound is heard); the EMTs roll the stretcher out. Ms. Twister and Dr. Dither exit with them. Nurse Kandi rushes over, picks up the Teddy Bear, hugs it to her chest, her shoulders heaving as she cries silently. CHIEF of Police (EXITS- re-locks the door (loud locking sound is heard). (STAGE LIGHTS GO TO BLACK) ACT II �" BEAUTY’S ON THE INSIDE (*= Scene #) ACT II-1* MEDICATION PASS TIME: A couple of months later- 2006 Setting: Patients DAYROOM on Forensics 2 Unit; The Dayroom�"is noisy, a sort of living room�"has seen its best years. The walls have holes and the drab paint is peeling. Furniture is worn beyond repair. A small television is silently playing, housed behind / inside an oversized cabinet. A public telephone booth is missing its door. A bookshelf contains old novels, torn magazines, and seems to be a catch all for bed linen, and patient gowns. A wall mounted daily activity schedule is blank for group therapy treatment and activities. The wall calendar shows the wrong date and season of the year. A previous month’s menu is posted. A patients’ right poster is mostly covered up. Some patients are sleeping, sitting, pacing, fighting, coloring with large crayons, playing cards /checkers, talking to each other or themselves. Several doors lead off the Dayroom to a few patient bedrooms. There are patients seen constantly exiting and entering their bedrooms. At various times fighting/ pushing breaks out and allowed to play out since only one nurse aide is present. HOUSEKEEPER (quietly, moving around Dayroom with cart, in and out of bedrooms, sweeps, dusts; always watching and listening, nods to some patients, seems to know some of them well) LEO, MR. SMART, GAMBLING GREEN (Smart and Green seated at table in Patient Dayroom playing chess; Leo standing, observes game) HATTIE (plays portable piano keyboard in lap / tambourine; hums gospel tune) J-ROD ( removing from shelves /closet--coloring books, large crayons, arranging on table in front of some vacant chairs) STUDENT NURSE (ENTERS�"loud of sound keys unlocking �"re-locking door) Mr. J-Rod, Nurse Kandi said to tell you the new nurse aide had to lie down over at the Employee Clinic . . LEO (interrupts�"rushes to J-Rod) What did I tell you, J-Rod!? That new Rosemary’s lazy! Already dodging work!
GAMBLING GREEN (stands, walks around chess table, squats, peers over Smart’s shoulder at board)
STUDENT NURSE Nurse Kandi said Ms. Rosemary got faint while she watched the lab tech drawing Mr. Tiggner’s blood. (starts tidying up books/magazine in bookcase)
SMART Got faint! Oh, yeah! She’s run out on you, J-Rod. (taps on checkerboard) Your move, Gambling Green. Rosemary told me she’s working two jobs just to buy her boyfriend a car. ( voice raised) Hey, this game’s checkers not golf, Gambling Green! GAMBLING GREEN (continues to walk around checker table, squats as he peers at board from different angles) LEO We knew she wouldn’t last long! (laughs�"shouts out) Gambling Green, you took bets. Who won that Jet Magazine swimsuit girly centerfold? J-ROD (is not really serious�"monotone) Ya’ll know hospital police new rule. Noooo gambling, gentlemen. GAMBLING GREEN (continues to walk around chess table, squats, peers at board from different angles, ignores J-Rod’s comment) I’ll check, but my photogenic (taps his head) memory tells me that wrinkled up old picture will be Hector’s.
SMART (laughs) Too bad ‘cause he won’t know what to do with it.
J-ROD (to Student Nurse) I gotta’ go get Mr. Tiggner from the lab. Nurse, you keep an eye on things here. Be riiiight (right) back. (heads to door�"keys in hand)
STUDENT NURSE (suddenly rushes to J-Rod at door) But . . . but . . . Mr. J-Rod!. . . I’m a student nurse, I can’t be left in charge, of these . . . uh . . . them . . . J-ROD (already loud sound keys unlocking the Dayroom door�" clip board under his arm, yells to patients, ignores nurse’s plea) Don’t ya’ll pull any funny stuff on this nice Student Nurse while I’m gone! DOCTOR #1 (hurriedly walks in as J-Rod holds door open to leave, walks to an Ensemble Patient, makes notes, talks, audience cannot hear conversation ) GAMBLING GREEN (returns to sit across from Smart�"moves a game piece) LEO Hey, J-Rod! Mr. Tiggner’s getting pretty ripe about now. MS. HATTIE (scolding tone) Our bodies are the temples of the Lord. (removes white head doily, fans self, replaces doily on her head, pats it while speaking) Old Mr. Tiggner needs a good lye soap scrubbing if you ask me. (briefly hums a familiar gospel tune and rocks back and forth) GAMBLING GREEN Over-ripe is more like it. LEO He’s due for the ‘car wash treatment’, Ms. Hattie. GAMBLING GREEN (laughs) Suds him up, rinse him off, pull him on through. Hold the wax. (laughs at his own joke) You playing checkers or what, Smart? DOCTOR #1 (heads toward door that J-Rod is still holding open)
HATTIE (sees Doctor leaving) Doctor! (waves doily) Doctor! I’m running low on my BC Headache powders. Don’t forget to order me some . . .
DOCTOR #1 (EXITS - rushes out while J-Rod is still holding door open, leaves, head down, avoiding eye contact) J-ROD (makes a note on clipboard) Ya'll, I’ll remind Nurse Kandi to ask Dr. Dither for Mr. Tiggner’s bath order.
HATTIE That o’doctor acted like he didn’t even see me. But, he saw me (looks upward-talks to ceiling) . . . just like you do, Jesus. (pats her head doily in place) ( Hattie EXITS through a bedroom door�" from backstage she goes to sit in audience)
J-ROD (EXITS Unit�"loud sound keys re-locking door) NURSE KANDI (ENTERS from med cart room /nurses station; pushes medicine cart out; starts counting pill cups, patient files) LEO (flirting �"walks towards Kandi, sings in tune of Miss America) ‘There she is, our Sweet Kandi!’ (circles her) Look, everybody. Nurse Kandi looks even prettier today than she did yesterday. (he brushes suggestively against Kandi as he walks around her) LEO & KANDI (a beat�"they exchange meaningful looks missed by Student Nurse. Green, and Smart exchange glances then return to chess game.) STUDENT NURSE (excited, rushes up to Nurse Kandi) Oh, Nurse Kandi, I hate to leave you, but I can’t wait to start my psyche rotation on the teenage unit tomorrow. Then . . . only a few more weeks ‘till my graduation. What should I expect working with kids? NURSE KANDI Sadness, mostly . . . at least that’s what I feel ‘cause they’re so young. Some have been in and out of foster homes. . . even in the juvenile court system for years. I’ve been helping out over there. Working as charge nurse a few hours a week since their nurse is pregnant and due to deliver soon.
STUDENT NURSE (excited) That’s great! So, I’ll still get to work with you. You’ve helped me really understand psychiatric nursing. (looks around dayroom) It’s sooo different. . . . you know . . . in here . . . from nursing patients in regular hospitals. (lowers voice) Locking and unlocking all these doors still scares me. I’m always afraid I’ll forget one. NURSE KANDI & STUDENT NURSE (still counting /arranging med cups, checking charts at med cart) LEO, MR. SMART, GAMBLING GREEN (patients -- seated at table, checkboard ) (loud sound-- keys unlocking and relocking Dayroom door) J-ROD & MR. TIGGNER (ENTER) J-ROD Sit here,Mr. Tiggner. I’ll get you a late breakfast tray in a minute. MR. TIGGNER (patient carries briefcase) (stooped posture, spreads out papers, writes on note book from brief case)
J-ROD (shouts) Med. Pass! Med. Pass! (faces audience �"shouts again) Medication Pass! Come on ta' git your medicine . . . (pauses 2-3 beats as 10 actors seated in different places in audience walk up on stage)
J-ROD Hurry up! Everyone please line up to ta' take your medicine!
HECTOR, HATTIE, LILLY & PATIENT ENSEMBLE -5-7 pts (ENTER STAGE�"from seats in different parts of the audience LEO, SMART, GAMBLING GREEN (3 patients remain seated at table with checkerboard and checkers)
MS. LILLY (positions herself directly in front of medication cart) HECTOR (raises voice to Green as he gets in line behind Lilly�"slight Hispanic accent) Where my girly centerfold Miss-ta’ Gamble Green? GAMBLING GREEN (motions with thumb at Nurse Kandi) Hey, keep your shirt on, Hector. You know I’m good for it. HATTIE (pushing Hector back, she gets behind Lilly)
PATIENT ENSEMBLE (5-7 pts) (two of them try to enter line at various points but other patients force them away ---rest of the pts are noisy, pacing room’s perimeter, shoving, pushing, fighting, etc.)
NURSE KANDI (pleasant, sweet, voice) OK, quiet! Quiet please, everybody. (claps hands for silence-waits for noise to settle) Listen. This is our Student Nurse’s last day with us on our Forensics Unit #2. Today she’s helped me pour up your meds, so she’ll be passing them out to you instead of me.
J-ROD (goes over to Hector, checks clip board, calls out to Leo; ) Mr. Leo! You on the work schedule today. Paint the staff's conference room. (checks his watch) Hector, since you’re due in court at eleven, you can be first. HECTOR (rushes �"steps in front of Lilly, shouts) Hear that everybody? J-Rod said I’m first. Get behind me. Today, I’m first in line. PATIENT ENSEMBLE (another patient tries to break line at various points�"is forced to stand at end of line by others) J-ROD (motions, pulls Hector aside)
HECTOR You hold my place, Ms. Lilly. I be right back to be first. Gracias.
J-ROD Hector, why don’t you call your father after meds? He’s a policeman. He knows how the law works. He still has time to meet you at your court hearing today. Always looks better to the judge when somebody’s family member shows up. 'Specially since this is just your second admission at Mental Central. HECTOR Si! (proudly) Mi padre es policia�"he’s a policeman!. (my father is a policeman) But it was el Padre who let madrastra . . . my step-mama . . . call the cops on me. Said I forged her and el padre name. J-ROD Did you? HECTOR I mean . . . yeah, I stole they checks, credit cards, and stuff. But I think she just wanted to punish me. ‘Cause I told mi Padre I wanted to use the money to go back to school. Be el abogado . . . you know, a lawyer. She a lawyer. (anger) I think she just wanted to make sure I’d never get to be one, too!
J-ROD Now, if I remember right, Hector, you first time in here was because you held those people hostage at that mall --where you were a security guard. Good thing , nobody got hurt. Now, your Daddy--he could just show up in court today . . .ask the judge to drop the charges for you this time. I really think your step-mama just wanted to be sure you got tested�"you know, got psychological testing. HECTOR You don’ know her like I do, J-Rod. Anyway, Dr. Dither say I just had a little (holds 2 fingers together) bit flashback that first time. You know from the Iraq War. Couldn’t even sleep in my bed for a year after I got back home. Bad, bad dreams. Still I hear all the shooting. J-ROD She really was trying to help you to not end up in prison, Hector.
HECTOR My madrastra got mad at me �" only care bout me putting her nice pillows on the floor to sleep--to make me a fort. See, I just needed some money to go study criminal justice. The city’ll hire me back as soon as I get my degree in criminal justice. You’ll see. J-ROD Now, Hector, your little hometown down the way can’t ever hire you back as a policeman or security guard. Even if they wanted to. But there’re plenty jobs you can do. Didn’t you do some carpentry work? HECTOR Oooh yeah! Mi Padre . . he taught me how to remodel da’ houses and everything. I used to work with him all the time. ‘Till he remarried. He lets her call all da’ shots now. You think that’s right, J-Rod? J-ROD Look, Hector, you’re only twenty-six . . . twenty seven. You don’t wanna get stuck in prison or a psychiatric hospital at your age. Your folks can drop those check forgery charges. Just call your daddy . . . HECTOR Funny. You know what mi Padre told me on the phone the other day, J-Rod? He say he didn’t know when my madrastra had me locked up that I could land in here. But I still rather take my chances talking to the judge by myself. Mi Padre prob’ly would come to court. Problem is … she prob’ly come with him. J-ROD Well, you can be first in line anyway, Hector. (shakes his head) HECTOR (goes back to head of line) NURSE KANDI Listen up, everyone. I’ll bring popcorn for the movie this evening if, that’s if, I get a real goooood (good) report when I get back to the Unit. (walks over to Mr. Tiggner)
PATIENTS (all cheer, clap their hands) J-ROD (EXITS to nurses’ room, returns with breakfast tray for Mr. Tiggner) MR. TIGGNER (speaks with slightly combined English accent /Irish brogue�"motions for Nurse Kandi to look closer at his notepad from his portfolio/briefcase) Nurse Kandi, come. You know tomorrow I’m giving all the children parties at all my 500 McTiggner restaurants. You know I have more than that all around the world. (laughs) The little boogers go absolutely bonkers for my Irish potato cupcakes. I do all the cooking and . . . NURSE KANDI (interrupts�"gentle tone) Mr. Tiggner, you don’t own your restaurants anymore. Remember? TIGGNER (looks puzzled --points to patients) Which one stole them? While I went to the lab, today? (opens, searches briefcase) I set them on fire! . . . where’s my lighter?
NURSE KANDI No one stole anything from you Mr. Tiggner. Today we have to get you all cleaned up. A good hot bath. MR. TIGGNER (jumps up, fearful, drops his notepad / portfolio) No! No, not today. One day, Nurse Kandi, I’ll tell you which day. When I’m ready for a bath. That soap’s really got it in for me! I don’t trust that soap! Now please, leave me be. (sits, happy--shows her notes) I’m creating a brand new recipe for my Irish potato and strawberry bonbons!
NURSE KANDI (pats his shoulder, walks away) J-Rod, I’m headed to Ms. Twister’s office. (UNLOCKS DOOR, as she opens it --finds Mr. Zipp & Zora Chance about to enter) Oooh, hello, Mr. Zipp. I was just about to leave. Did you need to see me. MR. ZIPP, ZORA CHANCE (gives phony reason-- he really only came for food) No, no, Nurse Kandi. I’m making my usual rounds of the hospital grounds�"checking on my lawn company’s work. You’ve met Ms. Zora Chance. I asked her to come along . . . see how I do things ‘start to finish’ to be inspection ready, you know. Just thought we’d just drop in on your Forensics 2 Unit�"see if you brought in any of that de-licious coffee cake you make. NURSE KANDI Oh no! I wish you’d told me . . . I’d have baked one just for you, Mr. Zipp. Let me know next time. MR. ZIPP No problem (laughs) . . . be plenty of ‘next times’. ZORA (glances around) You know, Nurse Kandi, seems like some of the faces here are familiar to from my last time on Forensics 2 Unit. NURSE KANDI We do have many who’ve been here a while. But, y ou’ll find that many of our patients don’t seem as acutely mentally ill as those on the regular adult psychiatric units. Mostly because they’re with us longer here . . . and they get medications for a lot longer time. Those adult units dischage too soon . . . sorry, Mr. Zipp, there I go running my mouth . . .
ZIPP Nurse Kandi, you go right ahead with your work. I’ll just do my regular ‘meet and greet’ with the patients. NURSE KANDI (EXITS�"loud sound keys relocking door) ZIPP Zora, (lecture-like, boastful) I like to make sure the patients know who I am (straightens picture badge on his lapel) . . . introduce myself . . . shake their hands . . . let them know my door’s always open to them. Just follow my lead, Zora. ZORA Patients do have a sixth sense about staff who really do care, whose sincere. At least that’s what I found when I was a medic in the military. ZIPP (he, with Zora, walk around shaking hands of only 2 Ensemble patients, quickly makes excuses, leaves) Yes, yes. Of course. (he quickly shakes two patients’ hands, then looks at watch) It’s later than I thought. I need to get back for an important conference call. As usual, big bosses downtown need my input. ZIPP & ZORA (he waves goodbye but no patients notice) ( EXIT�"keys �" loud sound unlocking, relocking door)
STUDENT NURSE (at medicine cart-pours water in paper cup; holds out small cup with pills) Mr. Hector, here’s your water. And, your medicine. HECTOR (only takes the cup of water�"drinks it) I’m still thinking about it, señora. (steps behind and pushes forward the next patient in line---Lilly) J-ROD (walks to med cart, stands beside next patient) Ms. Lilly is the next patient, Nurse. (J-Rod reaches for her bag of White Lily flour) Here, let me hold that bag of flour until you swallow your pills. The arts and crafts staff should not have let you keep this flour bag overnight in your room, Ms. Lilly. Against the rules. MS. LILLY (southern accent; scolds J-Rod) You better not keep Lilly’s White Lily, J-Rod. I only have a tiny, little bit left. I hope yawl still makin’ Mr. Smart over there save his old newspapers for me. I’m working on my paper Mache` figurines. (happy) Baby elephants today, zebras tomorrow. J-ROD I’ll hold it until you take your medicine MS. LILLY You’re Lilly’s friend, J-Rod. (points to a cup on the cart) Hon, those are mine right there. My son sends me the same pretty little pink and purple pills everyday. Never red. Never blue. Just pink and purple. He’s a wonderful boy. STUDENT NURSE (hands her the meds, cup of water) Maybe you’ll tell me about your son when I finish, Ms. Lilly. MS. LILLY (swallows meds, tone unbelieving) Tell you?! Why you should already know about him. It’s no secret. He’s the President of the United States of America. I can’t believe you don’t know the President! (disgusted) Lord, Lord, whadda’ they teachin’ y’all? J-ROD I think the Nurse would just like to get to know you better, Ms. Lilly. MS. LILLY J-Rod, she needs to know her American history before she talks to me. (addresses the nurse�"conspiratorial tone) Now, Hon, you need to know that the president sent his FBI agents to the State capitol to pick me up to drive me to the twins’ birthday party. But, some fool got things mixed up and brought me here. They took away my purse, took away my guns, and confiscated my Bic lighter. (angry) Whatever for, I don’t know. (sullen voice) My twin sister takes everything from me, too. SMART (from across the room�"still playing checkers with Green) Try telling the truty, Lilly! That’s only part of the story. Heck, Nursie, she almost blew the dome off the State capitol. Threatened to ‘flick her Bic’ and light up some woman’s oxygen tank that was attached to her wheel chair! MS. LILLY (huffy, angry) Mr. Smart, lying is certainly not in my southern blood! MR. SMART You landed here because you’re a terrorist. T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-T!
MS. LILLY It’s YOU, Mr. Smart, who scares me. (proudly) I’m a southerner, (stamps her foot) not a terrorist! SMART Okay, okay. So, you’re a SOUTHERN terrorist under that new Patriot Act. Is that better? (laughs) GAMBLING GREEN Smart, man, just leave her alone. (points to checkers) It’s your move. Ms. Lilly, don’t mind him. I’m gettin’ you a new bag of flour soon as I can sweet-talk the kitchen food tray ladies.
MS. LILLY (talking from the meds line to Smart and Green) I’d sure ‘ppreciate that Mr. Gambling Green. But I can speak for myself. (angry�"yells) Mr. Smart, you’re a rude, crass, and uncouth know-it-all. (sweetly�"touches flower in her hair ) I, on the other hand, I am a refined southern lady who gave birth to the president. MR. SMART (gets up, walks over towards Lilly at medicine cart �" does not get in line yet) You’re refined alright. A refined flake. But, you’re a gutsy flake. Wrapping those firecrackers around your chest. Threatening to blow up your breasts if the FBI didn’t drive you to that birthday party. Now that was a hoot! At least you gave ‘em hell before they deposited you in Mental Central. MS. LILLY I threatened no one! I simply said I was gon’ light my cigarette with my Bic lighter. I just happened to be standing close to that woman’s oxygen tank.(shaking her finger) You’re bad seed, Mr. Smart! Bad, bad, seed! J-ROD Mr. Smart, please get in line. MR. SMART (gets in line behind Lilly and in front of Hector -- has newspaper under his arm) I love you too, Lilly! (laughs) MS. LILLY (snooty) Miss Lilly’s ready for her White Lily, J-Rod. (addresses Nurse) Sugar, come visit. I’ll show you my figurines. Ahh, they decorate my bedroom, so purty. Did you know I help Nurse Kandi. . . .With the holiday decoratin’? Bye y’all. (EXITS--through a bedroom door off Dayroom) GAMBLING GREEN Smart, you didn’t have ta’ hurt Ms.Lilly’s feelings. (stands up, walks over to Tiggner) You want ta' play Gin Rummy, Mr. Tiggner? We could make a little wager. MR. TIGGNER I am not a gambling man. (dabs mouth with napkin)
GAMBLING GREEN (sits down at table with Tiggner--deals cards) Like you haven’t told me that a thousand times already, Mr. Tiggner. Now go on and pull some of those dollars out of your sock you’ve been hiding from them tax collectors at the Internal Revenue.
MR. TIGGNER (deals cards--leans back in chair for “story tell”) It was 1846. Ireland. The Great Potato Famine. Not one edible Irish potato to be found. The potato famine killed over a million men, women and children Caused another million to flee the country. Great granddaddy Tiggner lost everything. Somehow he got the family to England. Where I was born. GAMBLING GREEN Now keep your mind on the game, Mr. Tiggner. (points) Shuffle the cards now.
MR. TIGGNER (repeatedly shuffling cards) Son, you don’t know what it means to be dirt poor.
GAMBLING GREEN (grunts) Humph! Oh, but you did alright for yourself, Mr. Tiggner. (takes cards, shuffles and deals the cards.) MR. TIGGNER Worked hard, didn’t gamble my fortune away. Wound up with 2000 McTiggner restaurants all over America. (picks up cards, arranges).
LEO (laughs) Didn’t you say you had 4000 yesterday, Tiggner?
MR. TIGGNER Leo, might have been 200, possibly 4000. (finger to his lips) Shhhh. The government doesn’t need to know everything. GAMBLING GREEN Come on, now. Play cards, Mr. Tiggner. HECTOR (steps up in front of line again�"in front of SMART who’s in line already)
STUDENT NURSE Ready now, Mr. Hector? HECTOR (peers over the medicine cart) Not exactly. I’m still investigating. Gotta' make sure those are not illegal drugs. Did you give my meds to somebody else? Distribution of drugs is a crime. (steps behind next patient again�"Mr. Smart) MR. SMART (annoyed) Jeez! Ain’t no drug crime going on, you wanna-be undercover cop! Go investigate one of those rickety chairs with your behind, Hector. HECTOR (grabs Smart, pushes /shoves him a few times�"gets Smart on floor, pins his shoulders) SMART (turns over, fearful, tries to crawl away but Hector grabs his leg in the scuffle ) Get away from me! Get off! Lemme, go! J-ROD (calmly --breaks them up, pulls Hector off) Hey! Hey, you two! Mr. Smart, please go take your medicine. SMART (scrambles up, picks up newspaper from floor) Hector, you need to grow some new brain cells before you even think about taking me on. J-ROD (points to a bottle) Mr. Smart gets that liquid medicine, right there, nurse. (goes over to take blood pressure of Mr. Green, others) STUDENT NURSE Right. Hello again, sir. (gives Smart the medicine cup) I see you like reading the newspaper. MR. SMART (just holds the med cup) No! I like reading the stock page. Got shareholders I have to answer to. My stock is on the way up again. (lowers his voice -confidentially) I can show you how to make a ton of money buying stock on the internet. LEO Smart, why you always so secretive about what kinda’ stocks you selling. Some of us might wanna’ buy some.
SMART (ignores Leo, leans over cart close to Student Nurse’s face) You got some money, Miss nursey-in-training? I gotta’ hot stock tip for you. STUDENT NURSE Uh . . . no. . . no I don’t. Please drink your medicine. SMART (angry that she refuses, confrontational) I heard you tell Ms. Lilly you wanted to know a little something more about her. (challenging her) Is that why you’re here, nursey�"to learn how to nurse the criminally insane? STUDENT NURSE Uh, yes . . . yes sir. SMART Well, I’m in here. I’m criminally insane. Why don’t you talk to me now? That’s what I want to know. STUDENT NURSE Right now, I need you to drink your medicine, Mr. Smart.
SMART Oh . . . I ain’t criminally insane enough for you?
STUDENT NURSE Well, yes, I mean no, I mean . . . I don’t know your history and . . .
SMART (voice raised slightly) My history! What’s to know, Nursey? Some psychologist here said I was ‘too out of it’ to stand trial. Listen, Nursie-in-training . . . docs told the judge they’d give me pills to get me well enough to leave outta here. (points) That’s not pills. That’s liquid. I wanna see my lawyer. (defiant-folds arms across chest�"then walks off) STUDENT NURSE Wait, Mr. Smart. Please drink your medicine in the cup --before anyone else comes forward. (holds out cup) MR. SMART (returns--takes cup --purposely pours the medicine on floor)
GAMBLING GREEN Aw, man! (laughs). Nurse Kandi gonna’ have to zap a needle right in your hip! And in the Bubble Window Room you’ll go�"all spread eagle and tied down. (shakes his head)
LEO Let ’em! That’ll shut him up for a while. Smart, you not so smart, man, . . . getting your butt shot up all the time. J-ROD (speaks calmly, firmly) Mr. Smart, please go to the bathroom for paper towels and clean up the floor. SMART (voice sugary sweet) Glad to, J-Rod. You know I don’t mean you no trouble. MR. SMART (EXITS) MS. LILLY (RE -ENTERS �"flour bag and art figurines on tray, works on art standing at a table �" she’s talking to herself . . . and to her art) (confidential tone�"talking to herself and her figurines) I’m thinking about how I’m gettin’ us outta here! These doctors’ eyes . . . they don’t see me and my figurines eith(confidential tone�"talking to herself and her figurines)er�"that Doctor doesn’t want to talk to you Zebra . . . none of you tigers either. (takes more items from her tray puts on table). These Union Army doctors don’t even want to touch you. (lovingly strokes it) They’re not very well-mannered now are they? I’d much prefer my doctors coming from Confederate sounding places�"Virginia, Alabama, the Carolinas. (returns to work on her art at table) STUDENT NURSE Ms. Hattie, step forward, please.
HECTOR Hey! She can’t cut line. I’m next. (TELEPHONE RINGS�"J-ROD ANSWERS IT)
J-ROD (he listens) Okay, Nurse Kandi. I’ll tell her. (walks over to Student Nurse) She said Ms. Twister approved you to help Dr. Gillmore in the New Patient Admissions Area on weekends until you graduate. STUDENT NURSE (thrilled) New Patient Admissions! And the teen unit too! Wow! I guess Nurse Kandi’s making sure I get every psychiatric nursing experience possible before I graduate. SMART (RE-ENTERS �" has towel, gets on knees, wiping floor) MS. HATTIE (walks over-- bends over Smart). Mr. Smart, you clean up that mess good, now boy. And then take your liquid medicine. Unless you want’um to shoot you up again. More’n one way to break you down ‘round here. And you know they’re good with those needles. J-ROD (goes to Smart�"whose still kneeling) Here. (hands Smart the med cup) The nurse re-poured your dose. MR. SMART (drinks it�"returns to wiping floor) J-ROD Mr. Leo, you can come up now. LEO (gets in the line)
STUDENT NURSE (gives med and water cups to Leo)
LEO (looks in cup, takes out one pill, swallows, returns cup with pills) STUDENT NURSE Here, Mr. Leo. You left three pills. HECTOR He got a right to refuse. We got our Patients’ Rights, you know.
LEO I don’t take those make-you-walk-like-a-zombie pills. Arms all hanging straight down.
J-ROD Nurse, just make a note in his chart he refused.
HECTOR That’s right, Leo. They make my body forget how to walk normal sometimes. Right arm stops swinging opposite my left foot�"and left arm stops swinging opposite my right foot. GAMBLING GREEN (laughs, stands up to demonstrate both walks) Leo, a brother can’t dip, slide, and glide to the side behind taking those pills�"is that what you saying, Man? LEO You got it, Green. You know I can’t ‘roll’ like that. (laughs)
ALL PATIENTS (laugh�"some Ensemble Pts mimic the zombie walk)
SMART (stands up �"goes over to Leo) Green, you and Hector, all of you, acting like Leo’s soooo important. Leo, you not so important.
LEO Listen, Smart, if it hadn’t been for (jabs at his chest) this Patient Trustee, we wouldn’t have a change making machine. You forgot? Forgot how your dollar bills use ta’ just sit in your pockets from Fridays ‘till a social worker showed up on Mondays . . . to get you change to buy snacks. So, shut your face, Man. SMART You crazy, Leo. We all signed a petition to get that change making vending machine. Mostly to stop you from selling us your candy bars and chips at two dollars a pop. (turns, walks off) LEO (dashes to Smart, gets in his face, threatening ) Don’t go to sleep, MAN . . . . I just might give you a wake up call. SMART And, I just might answer it. BOY! LEO & SMART (angry, they bump chests)
J-ROD (steps between them�"calmly speaks) Stop! Shut up. Both of you go sit down.
SMART (sits not far from Hattie) Hey, Nursie-in-trainin’! You hear 'bout all the patients been dying in all the State’s mental hospitals?
STUDENT NURSE I don’t think people die in mental hospitals, Mr. Smart. Regular ones, yes. But not psychiatric ones. LEO That ain’t exactly true, Miss. Some patients dead for reasons no one can or will say why. MS. HATTIE Where we die �"that don’t matter. Right here’s good as the next place. What matters is doing right, cause wrong is wrong. I know about doing wrong. Even though my black-outs won’t let me remember shooting her. . . killed my mother-in-law dead. I just have ta’ take my husband’s word for it. I did a whole lotta’ wrong. (still mad at dead mother in law) Oh, she was wrong too�"all the time emptying my Crown Royal bottles �"putting water in 'em trying to stop me drinking liquor. LILLY Hush up, Hattie Lou! I, for one, don’t wish to keep hearing over and over and over about your un-ladylike, drunken binges that got you sent here. (talking to herself) Mother warned Sister and me about women like Hattie. . . noooo appreciation for the fine arts, or for their southern roots�"just whiskey and men! Whisky and men! MS. HATTIE (ignores Lilly’s negative comments) But, no more doing wrong (looks upward)-- not Hattie, Jesus. I always keep my Jesus protection on (pats doily on her head) . . . make sure Jesus knows it’s me . . . can always see where I am. (hums a gospel tune) LEO Nurse you need to open your eyes. Maybe voices do talk to some of us in here. (motions he’s referring to other patients �" not himself) May as well listen to voices in their head ‘cause they sure can’t understand what doctors ‘round here say. Don’t you hear all these foreign doctors’ accents? For sure people hearing voices in their heads can’t understand ‘em. Shrinks here avoid us anyway. You saw that doc run through here today. Most of ‘em don’t work after lunchtime. (laughs) MR. SMART Hell yeah, ‘the mentals’ do die�"right here in Mental Central too! Nursey-in-training do your research. It’s been all in the newspapers. GAMBLING GREEN About all those folk dying, Miss. I guess you don’t read newspapers.
. STUDENT NURSE No, sir. No time to. LILLY Now, Nurse. He doesn’t do much that’s right ‘round here, but Mr. Smart does read the newspaper. Just reads too slow for me to make my daily quota of paper Mache` figurines. But, if he says the newspaper wrote somebody in here died, somebody’s dead. GAMBLING GREEN That’s why all of us . . . we stay in real good with our housekeepers and kitchen-tray ladies. They can get you first-hand information ‘cause they work round the clock �" every unit. Big hot shot staff just look right through ‘em�"like they’re invisible. But they see and hear. Then talk to us,. Remember that, little lady, when you get all licensed up for being a real nurse. SMART Yeah, our housekeeper told us she was paged to come clean up a big mess when that child died. Right over on that teenage unit you headed to.
STUDENT NURSE Oh, that can’t be true! Nurse Kandi would have . . . (suddenly challenges) Anyway, newspapers print obituaries. What’d they write?
LEO Nurse, you’ll never read on no newspaper obituary page that somebody died inside one of the State’s crazy houses. That’s not a last known address that ever shows up. GAMBLING GREEN Yeah! You tell her, Leo. What our housekeeper said she saw at 5:00 that morning on that teen unit back a coupla’ months ago . . . about that kid . . . (LIGHTS TO BLACK) ACT II�"2 �" SETTING: Forensic 2 Unit -- THREE STATE INSPECTORS ARRIVE AT MENTAL CENTRAL STATE HOSPITAL - (Inspectors wear long white lab coats; lettering on back of each one's coat: STATE LEAD INSPECTOR, STATE NURSE INSPECTOR, STATE PSYCHOLOGIST INSPECTOR) HOUSEKEEPER (ENTERS quietly, moves around Forensic #2 Unit Dayroom with rolling cart, in and out of patient bedrooms, sweeps, dusts; watches and listening to Inspectors) LEAD INSPECTOR (typing on lap top that's sitting on top of medical charts cart). Only the newspaper'll be thrilled about our recommendations�"certainly not the hospital staff or the governor. INSPECTOR #2 RN - ( registered nurse) Well, Mental Central was preeetttty (pretty) bad back when I worked here, too . . . to paraphrase Jerry Seinfield: For sure we've found more bad news in here in three days that would just exactly fit in a newspaper tomorrow. (laughs) LEAD INSPECTOR (tone -irritated) I don't need comments like that, Inspector #2. Makes us sound like we're on a witch hunt. INSPECTOR #2-RN Well, some 'witch' has already done the 'hunting' and the killing. Way I figure, it's got to somebody on the inside doing the leaking to the newspaper these last few months 'cause the articles are too dead on. . . pardon the pun. I wonder if it's . . . LEAD INSPECTOR Inspector Nurse, we are not here to find out if any employee is secretly talking to the newspaper. We're here to . . . INSPECTOR #2 -RN (interrupts) But you know yourself, Inspector, the articles have been convincing stuff�"naming names, describing circumstances of the deaths . . . even quoting family members . . . probably why we had to suddenly drop everything to inspect. . . what with that teenager dying and all . . . I think we could figure out who . . . LEAD INSPECTOR (interrupts, raises palm) No! My job, Inspector #2 is to make sure our findings support my recommendation�"which is certainly going to be the severest sanction I've had to impose in my thirty odd years as a Lead Hospital Inspector. INSPECTOR #2-RN (slightly argumentative) I just meant . . . HOUSE KEEPER (ENTERS, she is pushing cart around, sweeps, enters bedrooms; always leaving cart unattended) LEAD INSPECTOR (tone crisp, factual) Doesn't matter what you meant. It's just two years 'till I retire. So, don't grind your-former-employee-disgruntled ax with these folks on my watch. They're State staff; we're State staff. We're all in this together.
INSPECTOR #2-RN After all the problems we found, I guess we won’t escape the feds showing up for . . . whatcha’ call it? A federal “look behind” inspection? To check up on us. Say you’ve always dreaded that happenin’ to you, right sir? LEAD INSPECTOR The feds pay part of our salaries, Inspector, so they always got that right. Now, please. Let's do a quick recap of our three days' findings against the federal patient care regs. Make sure I got everything down. We got about . . . (checks watch) five -six minutes 'till our exit meeting with the hospital's head. ALL INSPECTORS (in unison) Yes, sir. LEAD INSPECTOR Let's start with personal safety issues. Inspector #1? INSPECTOR #1 (flips pages of clipboard) Patients are wearing clothing items--shoelaces, belts- which can be used for suicide attempts or harming others. Can kill themselves with 'em, too. On our last inspection we cited the hospital for house-keepers lining the trash cans with plastic bags on the teenage unit. (picks up trash can with plastic bag liner) This time I found these trash bags on all units. HOUSEKEEPER (ENTERS �" several bedrooms�" each time leaves cart outside room) LEAD INSPECTOR Any other patient or personal safety issues? INSPECTOR #1 (walks around Dayroom to housekeeper's cart) See over here�"that housekeeper is pulling that cleaning cart around the patients with cleaning products and caustic liquid chemicals. Bleach, toilet bowl cleaner, detergent, window cleaner. Any one could grab a bottle, throw it or drink it. My medical chart review revealed a couple of patients were hospitalized . . . during the last four months . . . for doing just that�"taking a swig of some cleaning fluids. Emergency hospital cost to the State Medicaid Department was over $30,000. LEAD INSPECTOR I'm not putting those costs in our report. That's State Medicaid's problem. Let the governor deal with that agency. Anything else, #1? INSPECTOR #1 (walks over, opens a door) These housekeeping storage closets on patient units are not kept locked. Neither are the activity therapists' supply closets (opens door). One patient on the Forensics 2 Unit choked on a checker game piece. Nearly died. Another patient, (checks his clipboard) a Mr. Green . . . yeah, Mr. Gambling Green . . . did the Heimlich maneuver and got the checker to dislodge. But, something's strange about this Mr. Green patient. I couldn't find his admission papers, no photo or doctor orders, no med sheet or treatment plan. Just daily blood pressures are recorded in his chart by the aide. Like he just appeared out of nowhere. LEAD INSPECTOR We'll ask about that Green patient in our exit meeting. Good report, #1. Let 's see, Inspector #2--you did most of the reviews on the hospital's statistics and demographics reports. Shoot. INSPECTOR # 2 (RN) Re-admission rate for short term regular adult mental health units�"is 40%. LEAD INSPECTOR That high? That's seems way off the chart . . . 40% of patients coming back within a month after discharge. Are you positive? INSPECTOR # 2 (RN) (confidence returns -unfolds large print out- hands it to Lead) Definitely. My 'nurse eyes' tell me patients weren't ready for discharge when so many return after only a 5 to 7 day stay on those regular adult units. This many patients coming back so soon adds to the dangerous over-crowding we found. But, extra sleeping cots were in the halls on all units�"that first day we arrived. Then disappeared. I think they are hiding real number of patients on census. LEAD INSPECTOR Ok. Continue. Race. Age. ( still typing on lap top) INSPECTOR #2 �"RN Over 86% of the population is largely black and male.(looks at print out) Average age is between 20 and 30 years. One disturbing item--several of them were having their first mental break in college�"twelve freshmen and sophomores were admitted during the last two years. LEAD INSPECTOR We've seen that here before�" street drug experimentation, probably. Go on. INSPECTOR #2 -RN Psychiatrists are not recording diagnoses; they were missing in 78% of 250 medical records. LEAD INSPECTOR That's not acceptable. Let’s see. They have three forensic units for the criminally insane. The patient run-a-ways . . . AWOLs. . . were a serious problem last year�"all units. INSPECTATOR #2 �"RN Patients absent without leave�"it’s still a problem, sir. Mental Central hospital's own police force failed to re-capture any of the 1-2 patients each month who runaway from the short term adult and teenage units. (flips a page) I sampled Forensic 2 Unit for AWOLs. Amazingly, no patients even attempted to runaway from there this year. But, I did find several letters on file in Forensic 2 from court room judges. Complaining they can't get patients quickly in for psychological evaluation or back out for trial. Only 2% are sent back to the court system within a year or so. But what was really odd, no F2 patients seem to be upset they are staying in so long there. LEAD INSPECTOR (shakes head, typing) Some of those patients are smart�"the majority are not mentally ill�"mostly criminals from jails trying to avoid prison. And they've figured out that hospital living's a whole lot better than prison living. (checks watch) Moving on, Inspector. Any mentally ill patients who also have chronic nditions? And are they getting routine medical care? Being transported to follow-up clinic appointments. INSPECTOR #2-RN Only if the patient mentioned to the doctor at admission that they had a chronic condition�"high blood pressure, diabetes. Then they might get follow-up care. But, there is one very serious medical condition being overlooked: Fecal impaction�"severe constipation. It's developing as a side effect of some psychotic drugs. But, there's potential medical negligence since licensed doctors and nurses here should be looking for clinical signs and symptoms of it. Especially when it's been the cause of deaths in three other patients. LEAD INSPECTOR (stops typing) That's a strong accusation, Inspector. I haveta' to back that up . . . if I'm gonna' report that the State could have a possible legal liability suit on its hands due to staff negligence. INSPECTOR #2-RN Here. (gives him paper) These coroner reports are official. . . in three causes of deaths�"the conclusion is fecal impaction. A report on that teenager's recent death is being hand delivered to me within the hour. It'll state sepsis�"blood poisioning-- was the cause of death--due to fecal impaction. So, staff could have prevented three deaths in addition to this teen's�"if they'd had procedures in place to make sure patients drink plenty of liquids behind taking those medications. Don't follow their own rules. LEAD INSPECTOR (reads report, shocked, shakes head) Never . . . in all my years inspecting have I seen constipation as a cause of death . . . (regains his crisp professional tone). . . . Moving on . . . Admission unclothed physical examinations being done, Inspector? INSPECTOR #2-RN I didn't find a single unclothed physical examination by a doctor on any new patient admitted during the last twelve month period. And 64% of lab test results don't come back for 10 to12 days�"long after patients are discharged on those short-stay adult units. Doctors not giving unclothed physical exams is probably the reason three pregnancies and a breast tumor not detected. Turned out to be cancer. LEAD INSPECTOR Adequate staffing on units, Inspector? Enough doctors, nurses, aides INSPECTOR #2-RN Technically yes. But since the hospital is only meeting the very minimal staffing standards, low numbers of staff add to patient care problems. LEAD INSPECTOR This particular form calls for my giving an example here. Can you? INSPECTOR #2-RN You only want one? Well, part-time general doctors cover the admissions area on weekends�"not psychiatrists. Those docs admit 100% of all patients who show up; docs fear being liable if they send someone away and the person commits suicide or homicide. So, all adult beds are filled to the brim every Monday morning. Nurse and nurse aide staffing on units only meets the minimal of one registered nurse and not always two nurse aides on each eight hour shift. That's why crowded units and low staffing account for the high number of staff and patient injuries on Mondays and Tuesdays. Oh, and add: Patients on suicide watch . . are not. LEAD INSPECTOR Enough examples, I think. Thanks, Inspector. Now, back to you, Inspector #1. On environmental issues and infection control. INSPECTOR #1 I'll start here: (opens a closet door) Poor infection control . . .they're keeping both clean and dirty linen in the same closet. (hands Lead Insp. paper) Temperature log of refrigerator�"temps are not recorded daily. So, they can't vouch for insulin meds being at right temperature for their diabetics. (pulls out several .) Staff are not supposed to store their lunches or personal food in the patients' medication refrigerator. LEAD INSPECTOR Food and meal preparation? INSPECTOR #1 (goes to bulletin board on wall) They seem to ignore that rule about menus must be posted and food must meet USDA nutritional standards. ( pulls menu off bulletin board) It's not funny, but do you see any protein, fiber, or green and yellow vegetables? What I saw in the dining room was mainly starches�"rice, potatoes. Hot foods were cold and cold ones were luke warm. None of the meals served our three days were the ones posted here, because as you can see, (lifts paper) this menu is dated three months ago.
LEAD INSPECTOR Inspector #3, re cap the individual and group therapy for me right quick. INSPECTOR #3 (psychologist) Therapy--It's just about non-existent. As a psychologist myself�"what I observed here is a screen out-method that's professionally irresponsible. If I were a patient here, I'd file a class action law suit because these psychologists may even be medically negligent. LEAD INSPECTOR What are you basing that on, Inspector? INSPECTOR #3 My interviews. Those psychologists seem to have instituted some un-written policy or rule about which patients they will and will not provide individual or group therapy. The end result is they provide nothing! Two social workers, a nurse aide, and a charge nurse told me that the psychologists claim that most of the patients are too low functioning mentally, too unstable, to benefit from individual or group therapy. They're mentally ill patients and in a mental institution. DUH!!!! LEAD INSPECTOR We could cut them some slack if they use some kinda' professional evaluation or assessment tool to justify not giving therapy . . . ? INSPECTOR #3 (psychologist) Doesn't happen. And that's what's so discriminatory. The so-called doctors . . . the psychiatrists . . . share the liability because they are simply going along with these lazy psychologists. The nurse aides, . . . bless their hearts, are having grown patients color in coloring books with crayons. . . calling it art therapy. Can you believe that? Maybe it would pass as art if the aides didn't keep reminding the patients to “stay inside the lines”. LEAD INSPECTOR Coloring books and crayons? Jesus! That's insulting to the patients. Any individual treatment plans ordered. . . did you sample for those? INSPECTOR #3 (psychologist) Found only six ordered out of my review sample of 300 patients. But, even those six didn't receive the individual treatment�"not from psychiatrists or psychologists. Where'd these psychiatrists and psychologists get their training? I'm just heart-sick. LEAD INSPECTOR I got down the gist of what you found, Inspector #3. Thank you. Listen. This is only your third inspection. We need to focus on the big picture�"mainly the care that's causing all these deaths in here. But, get used to it because you're gonna' see the same psychology practiced at almost every one of the State's ten hospitals. Psychology and psychiatry just may not play the role you anticipated . . . at least in these State hospitals . . . INSPECTOR #3 (psychologist - interrupts I maybe speaking out of turn, sir; but, just like we can not see inside the mind to know what caused the person to end up schizophrenic, bi-polar, paranoid, clinically depressed, or whatever-- the psychologists here don't have a crystal ball either. They don't know if therapy techniques unique to patients. Issue is, they don't try anything. It does feel like a class thing we're encountering here, don't you think? LEAD INSPECTOR (a beat, just looks at #3) Okay, that's a wrap! (sighs loudly�"shakes his head) I'd better e-mail the governor's office a heads-up. Let'em know we have bad news. Let's get this exit conference with staff over with. (checks his watch). (ALL EXIT Dayroom)
(END OF SCENE) ACT II-3- MR. ZIPP, ZORA & STATE INSPECTORS’ MEETING MR. ZIPP (standing --looks at his watch) ZORA CHANCE (ENTERS - respectful, but does not respect her boss --stands since Mr. Zipp does not invite her to sit) You asked to see me, Mr. Zipp? ZIPP (distracted, nervous, needs to hurry) Yes, uh . . . I wanted to take a few minutes to see how things are going with you. Let's see now, Zora, the governor's staffer called me that you were being assigned here . . . uh . . . when was that? ZORA On Martin Luther King Jr's birthday holiday�"almost a year ago now. ZIPP Ahhh, . . . I suppose you would remember that start date. Same date we celebrate the man who fought so hard for freedom. Humph . . . I guess you could say your freedom was snatched away from you on that famous date . . . that is, your freedom to decide where you'd continue to work for the State, I mean . . .(laughs) ZORA You could that. . . . But I don't. Freedom is relative. (just looks at him�"doesn't expand on her meaning) ZIPP Uh . . . yes uh, I think I know what you mean . . . I wanna say though I appreciate you being a team player all these months . . . in a place you didn't choose to work in. The big bosses . . . they never told me why you were assigned here; but, I've passed along nothing but compliments about you to them downtown. ZORA Thank you. I guess they were pretty nervous not knowing if I’d talk publicly about unfair actions taken against of my former agency head. Moved me here to keep the enemy close, is my guess. ZIPP (interrupts, nervous laughter) Well, now, uh . . I wouldn't know about any of that . . . no need to know, really. ZORA I see. ZIPP Uh . . . actually, I called you in because my bosses, . . . uh . . I mean, I'm assigning you to start supervising several managers over our clinical support services -- psychologists, social workers, psychologists, activity therapists, medical records. ZORA Oh! Those are employees who are now supervised by Dr. Dither and Ms. Twister, right? ZIPP Uh, yes, yes . . . . ZORA This is In addition to my coordinating all clients’ transportation services when they are discharged? ZIPP Right, right. (checks his watch�"appears hurried) You know, we've had our turn with some pretty ugly news press lately. (assures himself) Not anything we can't overcome. But the bosses want. . . uh, I mean I want to get your 'new eyes' on these managers. (voice up beat) Get them re-energized . . . refocused . . . of course, all depending on if these Inspectors even find anything important. ZORA And, I start these new duties . . . ? ZIPP Right away . . . (nervous laughter), actually in a just a few minutes. After this next meeting you will need to go have a brief meeting with your new managers. Reviewing their performance files with the personnel office might be helpful. ZORA I see. ZIPP (checks watch) In a coupla’ of minutes, I want you to sit in on the State Inspectors exit report . . . listen out for any (holds two fingers together) little tweaking your new clinical support services staff might need as you hear their report. You’re excused from my staff meeting today so you can start on the right foot with your new staff. ZORA And, Dr. Dither . . . Ms. Twister . . . they know you've assigned me their areas . . . ZIPP (waves hand to indicate he's not concerned) They’ll know in a few minutes. As, I was saying, this exit meeting procedure is for the inspectors to brief me and my clinical staff--of which you are now a part�"along with Dr. Dither and Ms. Twister. ZORA I see. Well, I did hear employees whispering about the inspectors line of questioning being so different this time . . . using a back-track questioning method.
ZIPP (sweating, wipes face with handkerchief-angry ) I don’t know about that but, they’ve worn out welcome looking in every nook and cranny! ZORA Oh. ZIPP (upbeat, voice sounds excited) Well, it’ll all be over in a few minutes! . . . We can get back to our normal routine of hittin’ the ground running our excellent hospital everyday. That’s why I'm delegating equal responsibility for the clinical patient care to the three of you. Any questions? (KNOCK on the door by INSPECTORS) ZIPP ( opens it�"overly jovial) Come in! Come in Inspectors! (indicates conference table) Have a seat. INSPECTORS �"( sit at conference table) ZIPP This is Ms. Zora Chance . . . she supervises the managers over our clinical support staff�"out psychologists, social workers, therapists. (KNOCK on door �" Zipp opens it; Dr. DITHER, Ms. TWISTER (ENTER)
ZIPP Inspectors, you’ve already met the rest of my clinical supervisors �" Dr. Dither, head of psychiatry, and Ms. Twister, head of nursing staff. (tone upbeat) LEAD INSPECTOR Here is a copy of our draft inspection report. (passes copy to Zipp) In the final report we’ll make the correction you just mentioned to show that Ms. Zora Chance supervises the managers of the clinical support staff. DITHER & TWISTER (exchange puzzled looks) ZIPP (folds hands, slaps them down on top of the draft report) Well, now, Inspectors, I 'm sure you've found we run a top notch facility here. INSPECTORS (exchange knowing looks with each other
LEAD INSPECTOR Uh, it's not good news, sir. I've already notified the governor's office that I'll have ta' impose the two highest levels of restrictive actions: First … to stop any new admissions … and second, we have to impose the 'immediate jeopardy' sanction. ZIPP, DITHER, TWISTER (very loudly, they gasp) LEAD INSPECTOR Mr. Zipp, our inspection found that patients would be better off if they'd never even been admitted to Mental Central State Psychiatric Hospital in the first place. ZIPP (he’s shaken) Why, the graveness of that statement shocks me, Inspector . . . I’m, I’m, sure I speak for all of us (looks at Dither and Twister). (he recovers quickly) But, I assure you we’ll start on our plan of correction this very afternoon. Every item (pats report) will be addressed and corrected. . .you’ll see when you return to re-inspect . . LEAD INSPECTOR I must warn you, Sir, . . . due to the deaths and all . . . there’ll probably be an inspection by the, uh, the federal government, not us. To conduct what’s called a “look behind” of our (pats his report) State inspection. (LIGHTS- BLACK -END OF SCENE] ACT II-4 - MR. ZIPP & LEO TALK (a short while later�"same day)
MR. ZIPP (placing papers on Conference Room table in front of chairs, sits at the head, obsessively adjusts/readjusts papers in front of himself) LEO (ENTERS carrying a paint bucket, brushes, ladder; suddenly stops) Oh, excuse me, Mr. Zipp. No one told me you’d be using your conference room.” (starts to back out of the room) What time should I come back?
MR. ZIPP No, noooo, Trustee Leo. I’m having sort of an emergency staff meeting, but you go right ahead with that paint job. We’ve got to get this whole hospital spiffed up right away. LEO (pride in his voice, smiling broadly.) Must be inspection time again, sir. You know I’ve been here for the last nine or so inspections myself.
MR. ZIPP (distracted) That long, huh, Trustee Leo? Well, then you know after all those years how important it is for us to look our best.
LEO (placing paint drop cloths around the room) When will we start practicing on the unit, Mr. Zipp? MR. ZIPP (distracted, anxious to start meeting, goes to look out the door) Practicing? Uh . . . practicing what? LEO Remember how Nurse Kandi and Ms. Twister always practice us on the right answers to the inspectors’ questions? I sure look forward to those candy bars Dr. Dither passes out when we answer them right! (proud) I usually win the most ‘cause I pretty much know all the answers after almost ten years! MR. ZIPP Oh, right, right. That’s an important practice exercise. (firm, wags finger) But let me warn you there’ll be noooo candy bar selling this time, Leo. The police chief’s staff wasted a lot of time investigating your claims of patients stealing your candy. LEO (Leo begins opening paint can, stirring.) Mr. Zipp, you know I’m no troublemaker. Keeping this job as your one and only Patient Trustee means a lot to me . . . ‘specially my monthly work stipend. MR. ZIPP Excellent! Excellent, Leo! (as usual, boastful) I forgot to tell you. I plan to submit my Patient Trustee program’s concept to the new governor . . . well, as soon as we can come up for air after this next hospital inspection. I have the only Patient Trustee Program on a Forensics Unit in the nation. By the way Leo, saving some of that work stipend for a rainy day is important.
LEO Rainy day! Heck, I got enough saved for a hurricane. Over six . . . (then worried) Uh, I hope you’re not thinking about cutting my salary. Haircut prices are up around here. Vending machine snacks, too. MR. ZIPP I’m sure my budget director wouldn’t cut your salary unless there is a dire budget problem. LEO (tone of concern ) But you being the head man in charge at Mental Central--you’d vouch for me keeping it, right? MR. ZIPP I let my department heads run their shops, Leo. Delegation, delegation, delegation! Sign of gooood (good) leadership! Yes, sir-ree. I think I hear the staff coming. Why don’t you start painting the walls out in the hallway.
LEO Yes sir, Mr. Zipp. I’ll just start on that back wall in the hall-- out of the way. (EXITS to hallway �" beneath conference room’s heat vent that opens into hall --near ceiling)
(NOTE: Leo moves ladder out of room. Audience can see him entire time of Mr. Zipp’s meeting. He positions ladder under the vent opening into hallway near ceiling. Leo hears and reacts to entire meeting discussion as he paints near top of ladder.) (NOTE: IN ACT II �" Scene 5, BELOW, THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS OCCURING AND THEY ARE “LINKED” BY THE USE OF THE SPOTLIGHT SHIFTING FROM ONE TO THE OTHER AS DIALOGUE OCCURS • MR. ZIPP’S STAFF MEETING�"In Conference Rm • ZORA & MAVIS MEET �"Meet in a park
ACT II-5 - MR. ZIPP’S STAFF MEETING ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ SPOTLIGHT CHIEF, LT WAIT, DR.DITHER, MR. PINCHER, NURSE KANDI, TWISTER (ENTER-conference room �" all are wearing photo badges -take seats at table; carrying coffee cups, bottles of soda, water, snack food, newspapers, cell phones, pagers, keys) LT. WAIT You think our meetin’s gonna’ be a long one, Mr. Zipp. (laughs) I sorta' had some lunch plans . NURSE KANDI (grabs Twister’s arm �"pulls her aside before they sit) Twister, that new aide, Rosemary, got sick earlier. Our nurse aide staffing is only J-Rod today. MS. TWISTER (stage whispers) Shhhh. Hush! Not now, Nurse Kandi. Mr. Zipp will hear you. MR. ZIPP (up beat greeting) Hope everyone’s okay today. Uh, Lt. Wait, you might want to cancel those lunch plans�"we have an urgent matter here. Please turn off all pagers and . . . (suddenly looks at his pager) Sorry, looks like I need to call the Big Boss downtown. (literally runs out of door) MS. TWISTER (shaking head side to side) I don’t know how many more of his lectures in these weekly meetings I can take. All we need to do is go down the State Inspectors list and make our Plan of Correction (snaps finger), and implement it. We’ll be here all day. CHIEF of POLICE Figured something pretty big happened during the inspection since Mr. Zipp told me and the Lt. to come to ya’ll staff meeting. NURSE KANDI Ms. Twister, do you know why he told me to come? I only come when you’re absent. MS. TWISTER I can’t read a terrible thing that’s already been wasted�"his mind, Nurse Kandi.
ALL (laugh) DR. DITHER Well, at least he doesn’t meddle with my doctors. My associates at their State hospitals tell me their bosses stick their nose in everything.
MS. TWISTER Maybe he shoulda’ been doing more meddling into things and less blaming and lecturing us. Maybe that’s why those inspectors found all they did. He needs to take some ownership, some responsibility. (points finger--irritated) And you three ‘yes men’-- Mr. Pincher, Dr. Dither, Chief�"always letting me be the bad guy trying to tell him the hospital policies which have to be in place.
CHIEF of POLICE I just roll with the punches. That’s all you need to do when you’re this close (uses thumb and index finger) to retirement. (laughs) MR. PINCHER I, I . . . I’m with you, Chief. MR. ZIPP (RE-ENTERS conf. room�"speaking--looks around table) Let’s see. Who’s M-I-A today besides my secretary and Ms. Zora Chance? Oh, that reminds me. Zora’s excused today. She’s meeting right now with our clinical support staff . . . as their new supervisor. MR. PINCHER Well! After nine months, it’s about time she . . . she . . . she . . . started to, to, to earn her salary. MS. TWISTER. Head of Social Work is absent. AGAIN!
MR. ZIPP We do need to send Mr. Hud a get-well card. We’ll make a note in our minutes. We all know stress will kill you. MS. TWISTER Hud needs to put the bottle down and ‘lay on the sofa’ if you ask me.
MR. ZIPP (voice coaxing) Now, Ms. Twister, we don’t want to go leaking confidential medical information around here of all places. Uh, I’m going to ask our lovely Nurse Kandi to keep our meeting minutes. (motions next to him) Sit over here, please. NURSE KANDI (picks up a legal pad, walks over to sit next to him) Of course. My pleasure, Mr. Zipp. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ SPOTLIGHT ACT II-6 continues: MAVIS AND ZORA MEET IN THE PARK )
MAVIS Hey! Thanks for coming on such short notice this time, Zora. Surprised you could make a noon meeting. ZORA I got lucky and got a reprieve from Mr. Zipp’s staff meeting. (looks around) Is Chet just running late? MAVIS I know we three agreed to always meet together, but our editor changed Chet’s scheduled at the last minute . . . assigned him to cover the first gubernatorial debate . . . over in Macon. Polls aren’t looking too good for re-electing the first female governor. ZORA I think you know why she won’t be getting my vote . . . not after getting rid of my agency head and then having me “1013’d” to Mental Central . . . MAVIS Having you 1013’d ? What’s that?
ZORA Sorry, it’s an inside joke. . . hospital lingo. I guess I told Chet about it several months ago�"after he and I first met. MAVIS Oh, before I got assigned to help Chet investigate for the articles on all the hospital's deaths? Tell me.
ZORA The 1013 is just the legal procedure used to hold a person in a mental hospital without their permission�"but just for a limited time. Usually the cops or a deputy sheriff brings them in�"usually for an involuntary admission. But you can only 1013 someone when they are a danger to themselves or others. You know, suicidal, homicidal, using threatening behavior or actions. MAVIS (laughs) Oooh, I get it! So it's a joke--you being 1013'd . So, you must have been a danger to someone politically, huh? ZORA (laughs) Maybe. For damn sure I didn’t ask for an assignment to work in a State mental hospital. But, getting “parked” with no meaningful work assignments happens to a lot of political appointees like me. Usually when the administration thinks someone might ‘make political waves’. I suppose the unspoken message is to keep you employed�"and close�"so it’s harder for you to ‘rock the boat’ when you’re rowing with the rest of the employees. (looks at paper in Mavis’ hand) What’s that? MAVIS (hands Zora paper) It’s the reason Chet and I needed to meet you today. We just got it from the governor’s office. Take a look, please. We realize this ‘immediate jeopardy’ must be a sanction of some sort. But exactly what does it mean? ZORA (looking at paper) Ahhh . . . so, this is what a press release from the governor’s office looks like . . (laughs) I don’t know what I expected, gold lettering on parchment . . . certainly not just a plain old typed memo. MAVIS Yep, plain old paper! But for the newspaper office to get this at all . . . after all the death stories we’ve been publishing, . . . we figure it must mean something bad for the hospital. (pulls out notebook, ready to take notes) ^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MR. ZIPP Ladies and gentlemen, a little while ago the State Inspectors gave Dr. Dither, Ms. Twister, Ms. Chance, and me the inspection results. And the governor faxed me this letter right after the inspectors left. (passes papers to his left and right) Putting a stop to patient admissions coupled with ‘immediate jeopardy’ means we’ could be facing dire financial ruin and could . . . MS. TWISTER (interrupts, excited) Listen to this! She’s already got a fax that the feds �"not the State Inspectors--are coming to do our re-inspection . . . LT WAIT (interrupts) Uh, oh. Where’s it say that, Ms. Twister? MR. ZIPP (interrupts) I am very concerned that we . . .
MS. TWISTER (continues reading fax) . . . Listen. The Feds will be checking to see if we’ve made significant progress , , , she underlined that . . . correcting all problems those State inspectors just found, (tone very serious), uh oh, . . . and problems from last year’s inspection, too. DR. DITHER Oooh.. I still didn’t read the report from last year yet. LT. WAIT (interrupts) Which paragraph, you reading Ms. Twister? MR. ZIPP (interrupts) Let me say, I’m very . . . CHIEF (interrupts) What exactly was in that inspectors’ report last year? I don’t remember getting it? Did anybody read it? MS. TWISTER I did, of course. MR. PINCHER See! I. . . I . . . I told you all. For last year’s inspection we, we, we didn’t need to, to, to feed those State inspectors all that, that, that expensive food, Mr. Zipp. (sneering) Humph! Continental breakfast, renting, renting, renting china plates, for a sit down lunch. They, they still ripped us up anyway in, in, in the report. Governor got it, too. LT. WAIT What Ms. Twister just read. . . it sounds suspicious, right Chief? Like a witch hunt? CHIEF It sure looks like Mental Central’s a bull’s eye for the governor’s target practice. Those State Inspectors are just covering their butts. MR. PINCHER They’d better. When the federal government is putting two dimes in, in, in, every quarter they, they, they earn in their salaries.
MS. TWISTER (still happily excited) Look! The faxed letter is actually signed by the governor! LT. WAIT You’re kidding? (flips pages) Our first female governor? I’m keeping this for a souvenir.
MR. PINCHER Well, she, she, she’d have to die before it, it, it would be worth anything. It’s a, a, a, copy, Lt. Wait! MR. ZIPP (raises his voice�"upset) All of you! . . . Order, order! Let’s keep this meeting orderly. Didn’t you all give me verbal reports that these last three days of inspections went well? That the inspectors were just being over-zealous . . . picky . . . looking in every nook and cranny? Isn’t that what you told me? I even passed that information on to my superiors downtown. Now they’re questioning my leadership. That pager call was to notify me we’re facing a dire financial situation. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ SPOTLIGHT ZORA Well, after those inspectors left, Mr. Zipp was upset�"livid�"about the sanctions. Probably envisioned his own head on a chopping block. The funds for the hospital and possibly the entire State’s budget will be at risk.
MAVIS So, Chet guessed right . . . that the federal government’s part of the operating money would be reduced. ZORA No, Mavis since the Inspectors found patients were not being cared for safely the money would not just be slowed down. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 2 SPOTLIGHTS �" SHINE ON BOTH SCENES & CONVERSATIONS AT SAME TIME --BECAUSE THE SENTENCES BY ZIPP AND ZORA ARE STATED IN UNISON) MR. ZIPP The federal dollars stop!
ZORA The federal dollars stop!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ RETURN TO 1 SPOTLIGHT
DR. DITHER But, Mr. Zipp, and I believe Ms. Twister would agree with me, (whiny) they were just trying to find something wrong. MR. PINCHER I, I, I, believe that’s their job, doctor. State inspectors want to, to, to keep their, their, their, jobs, too. This is an election year for governor. She wants to, to, to, keep hers, too.
MR.ZIPP All the more reason we must win over these federal inspectors. Because, stopping admissions and putting the hospital under immediate jeopardy means the entire State’s budget is in trouble--not just this hospital’s budget. MR. PINCHER And we can’t depend on the State budget to bail us out because it’s mid-year and half of the State’s budget dollars are already spent. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT ZORA See the federal money ‘faucets’ . . . that’s Medicaid and Medicare . . . they drip about 65% (sixty-five percent) of the dollars paid towards most of those patients’ bills. So, stopping all new admissions would be bad enough. . . . but when Mr. Zipp heard that inspector say ‘immediate jeopardy . . . well, Mavis, that was the nail in the coffin! You should have heard him, Dr. Dither and Ms. Twister gasp. Like fish out of water! MAVIS So, the money stops even for the patients already in beds there . . . until the hospital passes re-inspection. But, what about the patients who are not poor . . . who have private insurance? ZORA That’s only a handfull of them-- those patients' insurance just paying only one or two percent of the $48 million it takes to run the place every year. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ SPOTLIGHT
CHIEF But, it says here the federal inspection team will have psychiatric experts . . . doctors, nurses, and social workers from other states. They’ll know their stuff! MR. ZIPP We know our stuff, too Chief. I know you all agree we run a top-notch facility at Mental Central. Looks to me this report today was just embellished by State inspectors with an ax to grind with our hospital. Like that one nurse inspector who used to work here. (silence, he waits for them to speak) Right? . . . (bullying) Is there consensus on that?
DR. DITHER Right, right. Yes sir! MS. TWISTER Oh . . . uh, yes. Yes, of course. LT. WAIT, CHIEF, TWISTER, PINCHER, NURSE KANDI (all heads nod) MR. ZIPP (stands, preaching, circles the table) Everyone in this room knows my mantra: Be inspection ready. I’ve always insisted on zero tolerance�"(spells) --z-e-r-o�"tolerance for not being inspection ready at all times. EVERYONE (nodding�"looking at one another)
MR. ZIPP ( sarcastically) Since only Ms. Twister read last year’s report, let me share with you the one we received today. Clearly we were not inspection ready!
MR. ZIPP (Passes out copies of report) Take a few minutes, read it. MR. PINCHER (licks finger, flips pages in notebook) Hold on! Excuse me, Mr. Zipp. I, I, keep detailed notes. (flips more pages) After that federal inspection, four years ago … I . . . I . . . I told my head housekeeper … on November 18, 2002, when those inspectors found those things. My, my, notes show that same day . . .November 18, 2002. . . I . . . I sent the, the uh. . the uh . . . purchase invoice for new locking housekeeping carts to, to, to your office for signature, Mr. Zipp. MR. ZIPP (ignores Pincher- takes belt off his pants, wraps it around his hand, waves it) I clearly explained and delegated that zero tolerance to each of you, did I not? EVERYONE (silence, squirming in seats, don’t know what to expect) CHIEF (half rises from his seat) Now, Mr. Zipp, is that belt just fittin’ too tight or . . . ? MR. ZIPP (catches himself, looks at his belt in his hand) Uh . . . yeah, right, Chief. I guess got carried away. (heads to door) Excuse me a minute. (EXITS) LT. WAIT That thing with his belt . . . Chief, you think he was going to whip somebody . . .? CHIEF Lt. Wait, cut the man some slack, OK? He’s worried. LT. WAIT It just wasn’t looking right to me! NURSE KANDI Should we go check on him? MS. TWISTER (sarcastic, blunt) He’s his usual self, Nurse Kandi. I doubt Mr. Zipp even read that other report either. You get ready . . . nursing issues are up next �"page 29. MR. PINCHER Well, if you, you, ask me, that uh, that uh belt waving he, he did . . . ought to, to, to be right up, up there with work place violence. MR. ZIPP (ENTERS with coffee cup) Sure miss my secretary today. She keeps the coffee pot going. Everyone, turn to page twenty-nine�"Nursing. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT
MAVIS Alright. So MediCAID pays the tab for the poor and uninsured�"including homeless patients. But I’m not seeing how MediCARE fits in. Can’t be that many folks over age 65 in State mental hospitals! ZORA Oh, sure there are . . . in real, bonafide, nursing homes. Housed right in many of the State’s mental hospitals. But the folks in them are mostly diagnosed as mentally challenged�"that’s the new politically correct word for ‘mentally retarded’�"as they were called years ago. Most were admitted when they were young children or teenagers�"back when their parents were ashamed to keep those children at home. White parents did that a lot. MAVIS (demeanor: figuring it out now) Zora, are you telling me that the majority of patients … in most of the nursing homes that are inside these State hospitals now … are white? ZORA Pretty much. Laws during segregation touched black folks in lots of ways that were hardly talked about. . . still not talked about. Before the ‘60s civil rights movement, . . . being black . . . and being mentally ill or mentally challenged at birth . . . well just too bad! You think Jim Crow was understanding of a black family, just because there was mentally ill member? Indeed not! No sympathy, no care, no treatment, no nothin’! Mavis, black folks had to keep that family member right . . . MAVIS . . . in the ‘hood! (raises her clenched fist) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT
MS. TWISTER I don’t believe these inspectors today saw our new written policy about when aides are to chart in medical records for patients on suicide watch. Remember, Mr. Zipp? Since we don’t have enough staff you had me change the policy six months ago. Staff only have to watch and write every fifteen minutes instead of every ten minutes. MR. ZIPP (ignores Twister) Follow along with me . . . on page forty see what they wrote about our psychiatrists discharging patients too fast on our regular units and not fast enough on Forensics. DR. DITHER Uh, if I may, Mr. Zipp, every Wednesday morning you instruct me. You tell me to remind my doctors and social workers we need empty beds for the weekend. So, we have to hurry and get them out . . . MR. ZIPP There’s more, Dr. Dither . . . for you too, Ms. Twister . . . about how we don’t handle the medical care and diagnose medical problems of our psychotic patients. I had no idea I could have been exposing myself to Tuberculosis--TB-- when I go on the units and shake hands with the patients. DITHER In our Plan of Correction we’ll write that I’ll send a reminder memo to doctors and nurses about TB skin testing of both staff and patients--and timely checking to see the outcome of the skin tests. TWISTER That’s already the rule. We’d look silly writing it in our POC. We need to just do it! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ SPOTLIGHT ZORA Quite a few of those Black employees are still working in State hospitals now who worked back when there was “NO COLORED ALLOWED”. They remember how it used to be. (said with disdain and sadness �" soft anger) Oh yeah, and they talk about the difference in the hospital in those days when only white patients were in Mental Central. MAVIS Like what? ZORA Well, when integration meant black patients could come . . . and they finally did come . . . but changes were made! Mavis, they shut down the bowling alleys n' grassed-over those fine clay tennis courts. Swimming pools? Filled ‘em in with concrete! All those fine therapeutic amenities? Gone with the wind! MAVIS Zora, I just never thought about that. Segregation hiding its country club footprint in a State mental institution. Damn!
ZORA And, a lot of those young white children . . . their parents gave the State custody of ‘em. Anyway, Mavis, those children who were sent here back then . . . they’re old now. So, besides the mental conditions that got them here in the first place … they now have the physical and medical conditions that come with aging. Of course, most of their parents are dead or in nursing homes themselves.
MAVIS That’s so sad. (sighs) I don’t even want to think about those folks�"white or black.
ZORA (miffed) Sad! Oh, really?! (sarcastic) Well, take comfort. There’s certainly been equal opportunity deaths around here lately. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ SPOTLIGHT
ZIPP I’m sure you’ve been too busy to notice, Dr. Dithers �"which is why I changed the activity therapists from reporting to you to reporting Zora Chance�"but I just hope the news media never see that we have grown folks using crayons in kids’ coloring books as art therapy. We’ll be the laughing stock of the State hospitals. DITHER Yes, I was too busy. (with a whinny, I-told-you-so tone.) All of you have heard me say over and over we need to hire a recreation therapist. Then we could have state of the art group activities. MR. ZIPP I’ll get to the rest of you in a minute. The only positive in the whole report today was�"(reads) our ‘physical plant and grounds are kept immaculately clean and manicured’. And that’s due to an outside contract I manage out of my office.
MR. PINCHER I’ve been meaning to, to, to, speak to you about that lawn company, Mr. Zipp. . . . they want a thirty-five percent increase . . . but the, the, budget can’t . . . MR. ZIPP Oh, I’ve already signed off on that budget item, Mr. Pincher. Good thing, too. Since buildings and grass seem to be the only things around here in order! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MAVIS (sighs heavily-shakes head--hesitant) Uh . . speaking of the deaths. ZORA What? MAVIS Zora, I realize the coroner’s official report isn’t back yet. But when you said it was ‘incompetence’ that killed her … well, I’m not sure our newspaper readers know what that means. Matter of fact, I’m not sure I know. Or, how incompetence caused over a hundred deaths in all the State’s mental hospitals, for that matter. ZORA (angry, shakes head) Damn! I just knew this particular child dying would mean a major overhaul of the hospital. But it took almost two months before those State inspectors even showed up. I’m afraid nothing’s going to change. MAVIS About the teenager . . . any rumors? What’s on the grapevine? What’re the lower level unit staff saying? ZORA Just that the child must not have been breathing for really long time. The hospital police chief said the child’s skin was so dark that he-- and the ambulance drivers-- thought she was a black child. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MS. TWISTER To be blunt, Mr. Zipp, it’s my nurses and aides who run things at Mental Central . . . they . . . MR. ZIPP (interrupts) This report sounds like Mental Central is simply running itself. You all need to explain to me why State inspectors found and described a facility I don’t recognize. (shakes the report overhead) This can’t be our Mental Central Psychiatric Facility! Ladies and gentleman, talk to me. EVERYONE (silence two beats)
DR. DITHER Well, uh, sir, I think we should appeal any report sent anywhere first about this hospital. We should tell the governor those over-zealous inspectors didn’t even hint to us . . .
MR ZIPP (interrupts) Hint!? What I’ve read looks like we didn’t see our own 800 pound elephant in the room. So, whadda’ we appeal, Dr. Dither? That we disagree with the margins they used to type their report? MS. TWISTER If Mr. Hud would come to work and have his staff discharge some patients … my nurses and aides wouldn’t be so overworked. There are way too many patients . . . MR. ZIPP (ignores her --reads from report again) Why wasn’t the staff following our posted group therapy schedule . . . and holding sessions on time? Staff just scooped up whoever they saw . . .right in front of the Inspectors, and dragged patients into groups. Men in women’s issues groups … and vice versa. No one’s treatment was individualized. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MAVIS What do you mean they thought the child was black?
ZORA Mavis, the child was so septic . . . MAVIS Septic? I don’t know what you’re talking about? ZORA Blood poisoning! That’s the lay term, Mavis! (voice deliberately slow, lowered, loud sigh) She was a white teenager who died of septic shock! Her entire body was so infected�"so poisoned�"because she’d had no bowel moment for almost three (3) months. (raises voice) Three months! Her bowels locked because of her fecal impaction! Turned her skin dark. That’s why they thought she was a black child. MAVIS Oh my God! (her hands cupped over her mouth) How can . . .? ZORA No one�"certainly no child--should have died like that. MAVIS But the staff . . . they had to know something was wrong. ZORA They just assumed she was pregnant, but no pregnancy test was ever ordered. It’s unimaginable to me --- a death so horrible in the 21st century from a bowel impaction�"constipation--while surrounded by a hospital full of doctors and nurses. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT DR, DITHER But those State inspectors surprised us! Arrived unannounced! The doctors rarely read E-mails and some just don’t use computers. I just couldn’t get messages fast enough to warn them that day they should be treating each patient’s mental illness according to each patient’s diagnosis! MR. ZIPP (ignores doctor’s comment) Then you’ve got to find a better urgent message system for your doctors. I’m confused. We had�"and still have�"patients on the unit who’d never officially been admitted to this hospital. (mocking) How’s that? By invitation? Doors left wide open? We don’t even know how long one patient�"a Mr. Green�"has been here. LT. WAIT Chief, breaking into a mental hospital! Now that’s a first! (laughs) CHIEF (head shaking / hand motion�"indicating Wait is to hold his tongue) MR. PINCHER So why do I . . . I . . . I keep spending all this money replacing new door locks if patients can, can, can, come and go as they please! (consults his notebook) My, my, my last print out shows I, I paid for 315 new keys in, in, in six months. But we, we, only have 187 employees. Nobody ever gets fired! So, I’ve made way more keys than we have employees. MS. TWISTER These patients barter for sex, drugs, food, shoes, and clothes. Did we think they stopped short of getting their own Mental Central facility keys?
CHIEF (serious tone, turns to his police Lt.) There’s no need for our police jobs if the patients are going to have their own keys. No security in that. LT. WAIT Damn right scary, Chief! Now, that’s a crime I never thought about. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MAVIS (bit of irritation in her tone) You seem to have expected the State hospital system to be changed because it was the first time a child died? ZORA No. What I expected Mavis, was racism to work its usual ‘sick magic’. MAVIS How do you mean�"‘racism work it’s usual sick magic’? ZORA (tone is rigid, cold) I expected the State’s mental hospital system to be turned upside down on its head by the governor and legislators because this was a white child who died in the State’s care. MAVIS In other words, if it'd been a black child that died, you'd expect the powers that be to say and do nothing about her death? (disgusted) A child’s a child. How can you even think that, Zora? ZORA (impatient) Come on, Mavis! I’m saying you see the media’s biased reporting. Your own paper does it, too. When a white person goes missing, we're bombarded with pictures and descriptions of the victim. Hear about every step police and volunteer search parties take. Let a black child or adult go missing. Media barely mentions it! Now am I lying? MAVIS I suppose that’s true . . . ZORA Oh, you suppose! Better yet, remember when white kids started up with street drugs? Pot, cocaine, crack, heroin? Same drugs infested inner cities for years. But when Mary-Lou and Little Tommy started fryin' their brains in their suburban bedrooms?Well, that's when America got busy shoving billions of dollars into the so-called 'war on drugs'.
MAVIS So, you expected what? That what you call ‘sick racism’ to work to the benefit of . . . ? ZORA (interrupts�"forceful) All the patients! Yes, d****t! I expected change as a result of this white child’s death. I expected the usual outcry for investigations. I expected change in whether . . . and how . . . medical care �" was provided�"not just mental health treatment. (normal tone) I’d have bet my paycheck it would happen . . . (deliberate) and . . I’d . . . have . . . . lost . . . every dime.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SP0TLIGHT MR. ZIPP We didn’t even prevent inspectors finding those little things that made us look amateurish . . . like flipping to the correct month on the Dayroom wall calendar. It showed two months earlier. DR. DITHER There’s these new erase boards we could buy and . . . a recreation therapist could just write the correct month and season of the year. MR. ZIPP Instead of getting our Forensics patients oriented to time and place so they can stand trial, we confuse them, test them, then tell the court they’re not ready. No wonder we stay overcrowded on all units. We’re the ones not inspection ready! MS. TWISTER If I had enough nurse aides everywhere we could turn calendars and try to keep the patients from fighting each other . . . MR. ZIPP (upset, interrupts her) Ms. Twister�"I’m getting to the fighting and abuse now. Why couldn’t we show the inspectors accurate data on the numbers and types of injuries from fighting. Patients fighting each other AND patient’s attacking staff? MS.TWISTER Social workers keep the violence and abuse data. And we all know how much Mr. Hud has been absent . . MR. ZIPP (raises voice) Mr. Hud, Mr. Hud, Mr. Hud! But, all of you have been here! CHIEF Excuse me, Mr. Zipp. Because we have so many fights. I remember about six months ago . . . that you, uh, that is we … decided to show the numbers on just our completed fight investigations. I think you, uh I mean. . . . we … thought it helped our numbers look better. You know, in comparison to our sister State hospitals. Uh, any one else remember that? LT. WAIT I do I do! I remember, Chief. Mr. Zipp sure did do that.
MR. ZIPP Hmmm. Well, Chief, you certainly seem to have a good memory.
LT. WAIT Chief is the best, Mr. Zipp. MR. ZIPP Effective immediately, I am appointing a new committee to revisit our decision. Ms. Kandi, put that in our Plan of Correction�"Chief will chair our Violence Committee . . . Dr. Dither, Ms. Twister . . you’ll help CHIEF of POLICE (sighs, scowls, drops head) My pleasure, sir. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MAVIS Why do you look at things so much in terms of race or racism, Zora? ZORA Why does America, Mavis?
MAVIS You’re answering my question with a question, Zora. I just don’t see racism everywhere like you do. ZORA And, I can’t deny my own life-time of experiences and internalizing what I’ve found to be my understanding of ‘what’s what’. So, we’ll just have to agree to disagree, huh, Mavis?�"If we’re going to keep working together.
MAVIS Alright�"we’ll just agree to disagree on what you're calling “sick racism”. ZORA I do admit one thing though, Mavis. I’ve had to re-think why this child’s being white didn’t trigger the outcry I’d hoped for when she died. You play cards�"bid whilst? MAVIS (laughs, nods yes) Bid whilst was a 'staple' --like ramen noodles-- at my historically black college. ZORA Then you know what how much power declaring hearts, diamonds, spades or clubs as your trump�"if you play one �" you win over all others. Well, I think my so-called ‘sick racism’ got trumped in this child’s death�"beaten out by an equally ugly concept in mental health called stigma or shame. MAVIS So, do you mean being ashamed of a mental condition is that wide-spread�"that shame is not just something some patients or their own families go through personally? ZORA I didn’t invent the shame concept, Mavis. But, yeah, I do. When it comes to mental conditions�" stigma seems to be a trigger�"a hot button--for lots of folks who are keeping secrets in their own lives or families. When depression is too deep or hangs on too long, doctors sometimes label it as a type of mental illness. . . .
MAVIS I'm confused . . . ? ZORA So, here’s what I believe now: That the child was in a mental hospital�"that she was mentally ill was the big factor�"not her race. That's why no changes resulted. It was too ‘up close and personal’ for the governor, legislators, every day citizens�"for a public outcry for folks in charge to be fired. Stigma might be racism’s equal when it comes to the damage it can cause. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT
MR. ZIPP Dr. Dither, why are doctors in our Admissions Office still not performing unclothed, complete physical exams on new patients?. Didn’t we resolve that issue before? MS. TWISTER If they don’t make patients get undressed for physicals, it’s no wonder we find so much contraband later on the units. LT. WAIT Chief, that could mean patients hiding razor blades, all kinda’ weapons in their cheeks. I’m not just talking about face cheeks! MS. TWISTER I’ll bet it’s been years since our psychiatrists even performed a fully unclothed physical exam? Practice does make perfect.
DR. DITHER I certainly take issue with that, Ms. Twister. MS. TWISTER Stop taking issue, doctor! Start taking off patients’ clothes! That is the issue! MR. ZIPP Ms. Twister, Dr. Dither, Please. I’m not through. For the entire three days, inspectors witnessed patients eating almost the same thing�"breakfast, lunch, dinner. Worse . . . the menus posted in the Dayroom didn’t match what was on their trays. MS. TWISTER That food�"if you can call it that�"gets the most complaints . . . MR. ZIPP (angry) Yes, I know our patients complain the food’s the same bad day after day. But, we know inspectors would be looking for variety in their diets. By day two, somebody should’ve thought to run up to Punnie’s Buffet over on Ninth Street. Order some vegetable plate lunch specials and that good soup she makes! Ms. Punnie would’ve even delivered, and been glad to make the extra money!
MR. PINCHER But, but, but, patients would get variety if, if if the employees didn’t eat up or take home the good food I buy. And, why do we, we run out of fruit so fast? We order tons, tons of fruit and I. . . I . . . want to know why.
NURSE KANDI I know why, Mr. Zipp. (demurely) Well, I think I know, sir. MR. ZIPP (tone changes to sweet and admiring.) Go right ahead, Nurse Kandi. NURSE KANDI (speaks hurriedly, chatty) Remember last year those inspectors complained about smelling a fruity odor in some of the patient bedrooms? They thought maybe we had a lot of diabetic patients. You know diabetics . . . when their blood sugar is out of control . . . they can have a fruity odor about themselves. But we didn’t have a single diabetic on Forensics. So, I tried to explain . . . MS. TWISTER (impatient with her nurse.) Nurse Kandi, are you going to give us the answer today?
NURSE KANDI Oh, yes ma’am I do get to running my mouth don’t I. The answer to the question is moonshine. MR. ZIPP, MR. PINCHER, CHIEF, LT WAIT (shocked, in unison) Moonshine! [NOTE: LEO ] (on ladder in hallway-listening, shakes his head as if he could get Kandi’s attention to nix her tattling, gestures with hands on ladder in hallway)] NURSE KANDI Why yes, sir. Patients save up their fruit. The cafeteria staff sneaks it to them. Now, I’m just guessing�"I mean I never see them. But I think the patients use the fruit to make moonshine. Real honest to goodness wine. Some of them are very smart. I wouldn’t have a clue myself how to ferment fruit and turn it into wine. My grandfather used to have a moonshine still behind his . . . CHIEF (interrupts, firm, upset) Lt. Wait, you have never reported to me we had illegal activity going on with the apples and pears. NURSE KANDI And, peaches, too. LT. WAIT (fearful) Chief, I swear I never found any illegal fruit smells on the unit. CHIEF (talking through cinched teeth.) You should know a drunk when you see one!
LT. WAIT But, Chief, some of the patients look over-medicated to me. No offense Dr. Dither, but maybe you could give me in-service training. You know . . . so I can tell the difference between a drunk stagger and a medication stagger. DR. DITHER Why, of course, Lieutenant Wait. If the budget has travel funds I can arrange to send you to a medications side effects seminar in New Mexico next month . . . MR. PINCHER (voice raised, unbelieving) Travel funds?! To teach this, this, idiot how, how to know if someone is drunk? I … I . . . I can solve the problem cheaper. I . . . I . . . I just won’t be buying any more fruit! MR. ZIPP That sounds like a plan, Mr. Pincher! Now, let’s move on. We need to write our Plan of Correction. Put that down, Nurse Kandi. Plan of Correction-POC. MS. TWISTER Well, let me remind everyone that the U. S. Food & Drug Administration . . . the FDA … is recommending more not less fruits and vegetables. And the doctors should know that most of the medications they use for treating mental conditions cause patients serious problems with constipation. MR. PINCHER Lady, so just tell your, your mediocre staff to have the patients draw and color pictures of, MORE FRUIT! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT
MAVIS (a beat �" flips open notebook) Wow! I’m writing that down. (repeats out loud as she writes in notebook) ‘Stigma might be racism’s equal when it comes to the damage it can cause.’ (closes note book, gets herself together). This death is exactly the reason our news articles need a different slant . . . And not just be about patients who died. (hesitant, fearful of answer). Zora, please tell me you’ve thought about what I asked you . . . a few weeks ago. It’s still on my mind . . . tell me what you think before I mention it to Chet. ZORA It’s dangerous!. . . And, its illegal!
MAVIS But, will it work? Going under cover . . . I mean? ZORA Mavis, it’s also risky! (a beat, mulls it over) I suppose it could work. As long as . . . MAVIS (interrupts�"excited) Great! Chet would never even listen to me about getting myself admitted as a patient but, once I tell him you’re on board with it, Zora . . . ZORA I didn’t say I’m on board, Mavis! Please! Let me finish! ( exasperated) It could possibly work. But you have to understand … Once you’re admitted, you cannot … back … out! I’m saying, you can’t just walk out! Once admitted, only a psychiatrist has the power to order your discharge. You clear on that?! If you get inside, then you’re in ‘till they let you out!! MAVIS (off-handed) Oh, yeah. Sure. I understand.
ZORA (voice raised) Listen now! . . . I can not get you out! . . . You’ll be on your own. You could be given medicines . . . which are bad enough for real patients . MAVIS Oh, I'll be fine. (excited) Just think , , , I’ll be able to see and report first-hand how thoroughly those federal inspectors re-check everything when they come.
ZORA Mavis, like you, there are lots of insane folks walking around who’re not locked up in mental hospitals. But, if ever they are . . . well, the legal system for the mentally ill, (slowly and definitively) grabs hold real tight�"sometimes it never lets go. (grabs Mavis’ hands�"voice softens) That could happen to you. (lets go of hands) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MR. ZIPP (rubs his hands together, happy) Okay, okay everyone; we’re making progress. Now let’s put some meat on the bones of our Plan of Correction. Ideas? (waits for a response.) Not everyone speak at the same time. (waits, becomes annoyed.) Dr. Dither? What corrective actions will you have the doctors implement? One doctor foolishly reported he keeps patients’ treatment notes in his head . . . DR. DITHER Well, uh, I . . . MS. TWISTER They first need to actually be here to see and treat the patients before they write any treatment fiction in the charts! DR. DITHER (weak tone, but trying to be firm.) Ms. Twister I can’t believe you said that! Many do have their private practices to keep up. Those inspectors were using that new tracer interview methodology on our psychiatrists. MR. ZIPP What are you talking about--new tracer method?
DR. DITHER They trace, basically track backwards if they find the least little thing wrong. MR. ZIPP Track backwards? DR. DITHER But, this was new to us, Mr. Zipp. For example, they found that a patient fell on a wet mopped floor. . . they tracked backwards . . . reviewed our house-keepers floor cleaning and safety procedures. . . checked our in-service education for housekeepers . . . reviewed their job descriptions. . . even looked to see if supervisors were completing performance evaluations. MS. TWISTER I might add . . .just that one fall resulted in looking at what the charge nurse on the unit did. Whether vital signs were taken. And, if the fall was reported to the doctor. DR. DITHER Naturally, they looked to see if a doctor examined the patient . . . if x-rays were needed. They were so bold they checked Personnel to review the doctor’s credentials. If you don’t mind me saying, Mr. Zipp, that tracer method is one hot mess! MR. ZIPP (voice starts calm then escalates loudly) I see. So one problem led from one step back, to another step back and another. So they tracked our every step, and from what you’re telling me, we did not cover all of our tracks.
DR. DITHER (whining) I . . uh, we, didn’t expect they’d deviate from their old L-E-L routine. You know … Look, Eat, and Leave. My doctors just weren’t prepared. MS. TWISTER Not prepared is an understatement. One of the docs didn’t recognize her own signature in a chart! You don’t need a recreation therapist, Dr. Dither. You need to hire some real psychiatrists. DR. DITHER A doctor is a doctor is a doctor I would have you know . . . all licensed by the State. This list shows Nursing didn’t exactly get a clean bill of health either. Obviously, you’re having serious memory loss. MS. TWISTER My memory is of your doctors failing to medicate patients properly and of patients being too physically aggressive for my nurses and aides to handle.
DR. DITHER My doctors write orders for medicines and your nurses gave every other patient some other patient’s meds! The med errors were way over the top. Wrong drug, wrong dose, wrong time, wrong patient.
MS. TWISTER I’ll have you know my new plan�"Plan of Correction�"is already in place to address the medication errors. I have nurse aides assisting the medication nurse with meds. The aides know the patients better than temporary agency nurses we have to use. DR. DITHER (sarcastic) I can only guess what that’ll do to lighten the load of our only experienced forensic nurse aide�"J-Rod. He has to keep patients from fighting while he’s pointing the wrong patient to the medication nurse. The patients … and J-Rod … will be insane. MR. ZIPP Order, please! Both of you! . . .
MS. TWISTER Pleeeease! My nurses cover for your so-called doctor’s behinds all the time. We’re the ones who have tell them what medicines to stop and start.
DR. DITHER (whining) It’s hard to find doctors to work here for this little money.
MR. PINCHER Little! Little money?! We pay doctors over $150,000 a year to work, work, work part-time and add a, a, a, monthly bonus because they speak Lapanese to one or two patients a year. Give me strength! MS.TWISTER (pointing at Dither) Mr. Zipp, all I know is that his doctors don’t put patients’ diagnoses in the computer consistently. And when these inspectors arrived . . . my nurses stayed and worked all night --going through every chart . . . entering diagnoses. We nurses carry the whole load!
DR. DITHER Oh, you carry a load all right. A load of bull. . . MR. ZIPP (voice raised-interrupts) Stop it right now! This arguing is not helping get us out of the fix we’re in. You two oversee physicians and nurses. I expect teamwork! MS. TWISTER But, Dr. Dither . . . MR. ZIPP (holds up his hand, interrupts) No, I wanna’ hear right now what you two will put in place to make sure we don’t all lose our jobs. I didn’t tell you before, but the governor is planning to close Mental Central if we don’t pass muster this time. TWISTER, DITHER, CHIEF, KANDI, LT. WAIT, PINCHER (shocked, all gasp) [LEO ] (shocked, hearing the possibility of the facility closing, drops his paint brush, gets down from ladder, picks it up, quickly returns to the ladder) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MAVIS So, now Zora you’re saying I’m insane? (laughs). . . . That’s funny! Anyway, you said those beds on the adult unit stay full, that they’re over-crowded most times? Well, if it’s like you say, they only keep patients three to five days. . . . seven days max . . . I’ll be out in a flash! Might just march right out with those inspectors (laughs, hurrying Zora along) What else? (taking notes) ZORA (shrugs, doubtfully relenting) Only talk to the other patients, nurses, and nurse aides. No doctors. Definitely no psychologists. Just be mute. MAVIS Don’t talk? That’s ridiculous, Zora! How am I supposed to get my story if I don’t talk? ZORA If you talk to the psychiatrists and psychologists they might figure out you’re faking. Not having to talk gives you cover because they won’t be expecting you to talk. It’ll work to your benefit, because mute patients take up a lot more of the doctors’ time trying to get to the root of a patient’s problem. Sad but true, the docs will put off dealing with the mute patients for as long as they can. Fact is, safety on the unit is top priority. Getting aggressive or violent ones settled down and medicated comes first. MAVIS Bizarre. But, I guess it makes a lotta’ sense. Now take me through my admission process. (takes notes) ZORA Since you’re determined. . . . No jewelry, no valuables. Empty your wallet. No ID. No phone. Use an alias. Give wrong birth date. Use a vacant lot as your address. Social security number�"no idea. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MR. ZIPP We can not, I repeat, can not (slaps palms on table) fail this next inspection.
NURSE KANDI Oh, no! I didn’t realize Mental Central might close! But our patients . . . where would he, I mean, they go? MR. PINCHER Where would we go is, is, is the question. Two, two, two of us around this table could lose our retirement benefits. CHIEF Amen. I only got fourteen months, six days, and (looks at his watch) two hours to retirement. MS. TWISTER Well, is that the only way to get rid of you, Mr. Pincher? ZIPP, KANDI, DITHER, LT. WAIT, CHIEF (laughter) MR. ZIPP Sorry about that, Mr. Pincher, but we needed a laugh about now. Alright, let’s get focused. NURSE KANDI Mr. Zipp, our Forensic Unit has more than its share of patients sent by the court. All waiting to be tested and treated. More patients than beds. During this inspection we tried to hide the cots we use to sleep the extra patients. MR. PINCHER I . . . I . . . I certainly purchased a ton of new cots. MS. TWISTER (voice raised) Tell the rest of the story, Nurse Kandi! Tell about the housekeeping employee assigned to pick up the cots on the truck. Didn’t have a valid driver’s license and the police Chief’s staff wouldn’t issue keys to the delivery truck. CHIEF The rule is . . . MS. TWISTER No the problem is your jack-leg, key stone cops, police force spends too much time enforcing the speed limit! Pulling over employees for driving 21 miles an hour in a 20 mile zone�"but they can’t catch a single run-away patient. CHIEF (chief loudly pushes his chair back from the table.) MR. ZIPP Alright, decorum, Ms. Twister. We . . .
MS. TWISTER I thought we wanted to fix Mental Central. We need staff and equipment for that! Another thing. My female employees complain all the time about our police Chief. He allows Lt. Wait, Mr. Pretty Boy here, to make ‘em late for work. Busy trying to finagle a date same time he’s writing them bogus speeding tickets. Nurse Kandi knows. NURSE KANDI (quickly lowers her head.) [LEO ] (drops paint brush again but does not retrieve it CHIEF (angry, suddenly stands up, allowing his empty gun holster to be seen.) Mr. Zipp, may I be excused, before I have to be restrained and secluded like a patient? MR. ZIPP (Zipp waves the Chief back into his seat.) Chief, sit.
CHIEF (sits, folds arms defiantly across chest)
NURSE KANDI (tearful, dabbing her eyes.) Please, I certainly didn’t mean to start us arguing again. We just need to plan not to get caught red-handed again. About the unit being overcrowded. I don’t want our hospital to close. (dabs eyes more) MR. ZIPP Nurse Kandi’s right. We don’t have the luxury of excuses. Thank you, Nurse Kandi for getting us back on track. Yes, we are overcrowded. Yes, we didn’t adequately hide the cots. But, we have to save our jobs . . . uh, and of course, save Mental Central! DR. DITHER (excitedly yells out.) Field trips!!
MR. PINCHER What now? A group rate for, for, for, that New Mexico trip I presume? DR. DITHER Mr. Zipp, I am proposing we arrange to send some of our most unstable patients away when the inspectors are due. To prevent discovery of overcrowding. I could call a sister State hospital to see if they can hold some patients temporarily. [LEO] [(bows head�" shaking it in dismay)] MR. ZIPP Brilliant, Dr. Dither! Now . . . uh . . . Nurse Kandi let’s omit that little part in our Plan of Correction from our minutes. (laughs.) Just in case they fall into the wrong hands. After all, ain’t nobody singing up in here, right?
[LEO ] [(paints several invisible ‘Xs’ on hall wall)] LT. WAIT You got that right, Mr. Zipp. No stool pigeons up in here! MR. PINCHER Good, good idea, Dr. D! MR. ZIPP So I take it there is consensus to transport the most unstable patients to other hospitals for a weeklong field trip? (he waits a few beats.) . . . . Do we have a motion? DR. DITHER So moved. MR. ZIPP Discussion? MS. TWISTER (raises hand) Discussion. That will mean my nurses will have to juggle�"no, lie about-- the actual patient count here every day.
MR. ZIPP Hold up now, Ms. Twister. (unable to contain his excitement.) Is there a second on the motion? LT. WAIT I second it. CHIEF (Chief groans his disapproval.) Ooooh no! LT. WAIT (seen waving hands, mouthing apology to Chief -speaking too quickly) MR. ZIPP Further discussion? Hearing none, motion approved! Now Chief, I know why you groaned . . . I am approving you to hire a temporary driver to transport those patients back and forth. MR. PINCHER So, I . . . I . . . I ‘m just supposed to find the money for that, for that temporary employee to, to, to hire? LT. WAIT Or ask the patients to print some. ( laughs nervously) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT
MAVIS Anything else I need to know? ZORA If something happens . . . you know . . . life threatening . . . try to have someone call me. I’m Zora Chance in the white pages. MAVIS (waves her off -- thrilled) Oooh, Zora, I believe writing my story . . . from the inside . . . telling what the live patients must face day-to-day . . . it’ll force change in how all these State hospitals do business. (worried) Hmmm, do you think it’ll matter that Chet will be my fake Caucasian husband when I get admitted? ZORA White, black, purple . . . really doesn’t matter. In fact when it comes to getting patients discharged, patients being married is a big plus for our social workers. Means they won’t have to find a community group home or a homeless shelter bed at discharge time. Those shelters stay full, too. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MS. TWISTER In my opinion, if Mr. Got-Bucks Pincher had given us money to decorate the units nicely�"pictures, plants, bedspreads�"the inspectors wouldn’t have noticed so much wrong. Mr. Pincher, you act like the money is coming from your personal bank account. MR. PINCHER I . . . I . . .I have an obligation to do what’s right with the taxpayers’ money. I . … I . . . I just can’t see buying pretty thangs for the staff to take, to take home and then report the next day it was, stolen. So, no, I . . . I . . . I don’t plan to give you, Ms. Twister, authority to, to, spend money on no�"excuse me the rest of ya’ll�"on no BS! MR. ZIPP Mr. Pincher, let’s remain professional. We’re all upset. But maybe you could just find a tiny few dollars for some new bedspreads, maybe some paint and wall pictures. (kissing up) You always work miracles with my budget. MR. PINCHER (flips pages of print out /notes) The only thing I see is … to adjust the uh, the uh, patient’s salaries who get work stipends. You . . . those work therapy program patients. [LEO] (grabs hold of sides of ladder, shakes his body) CHIEF I’d like to mention, Mr. Zipp, that like Ms. Twister … (looks at her to gloat), my officers have already put in place measures to stop criminal activity on the Forensics unit. No more betting with snacks during card games. No bets on TV show outcomes�"you know . . . American Idol . . . wrestling matches. We stopped that daily betting pool on the hair color of a certain lady TV news anchor . . . No more holding raffles either. They were winning State issued Vaseline, Jet and Playboy magazine centerfolds. (proudly) If I must say so myself there has been less fighting among the patients. ‘Course, they still want to fight employees . . . we’re working real hard on cutting that down. LT. WAIT (nodding furiously, trying to redeem himself.) Those fight numbers are dropping fast. We only had five employees attacked by patients in the last five days. That’s a really biiiig (big) drop from ten employees in ten days...
CHIEF of POLICE What!? . . . Isn’t that the same rate, uh ratio? . . . Never mind. . Just wait, Lt. Wait; Mr. Zipp, I’ll re-check those percentages. LT. WAIT (argumentative ) But, Chief, the numbers speak for themselves. (proud) Mr. Zipp, all those racy magazine centerfolds? I confiscated ‘em. Catalogued ‘em in my personal filing cabinet. Uh, you know, in case the Chief needs to refer back to a situation under investigation. CHIEF Let me handle this, Lt. Wait. Uh . . . as I was saying Mr. Zipp, we have a plan to patrol this Forensics unit every four hours on the hour. Cut down on the violence. MR. ZIPP A mighty good start, Chief. But, a paragraph on page thirty six mentions seeing your unfinished investigations. And the Inspectors mention our sixteen patients who ran away . . . just went AWOL�"absent without leave. CHIEF I guarantee you sir, these federal inspectors will have to use some serious Sherlock Holmes’ skills to find a single one of our open investigation of patients’ AWOL. LT. WAIT (confidential tone) Chief told me to stop listing run-a-away patients on our blackboard in the hall where everybody can see them. MR. ZIPP Great, Lt. Wait. But Chief, how on earth did you allow the Inspectors to get hold of that investigation report from the regular adult unit? From when those female patients just drove through the main gate one morning? Sailed right on past your dead-to-the-world-asleep policewoman on duty? CHIEF Sir, we’ve been trying to get Mr. Pincher to buy us a polygraph machine for months. Then we could complete interrogations and issue official reports! Like on that employee whose car they stole! See, we could’ve interrogated him! Prove he left his car running to warm it up that day. We could’ve closed the case! Remember, the patients returned on their own after they went to that day spa and got their nails done! MR. PINCHER What’s to interrogate? Those patients admitted they drove his, his, his car back through the hospital police gate. They were stopped at, at, the police gate on the way back in. We just need to fire that, that, nurse aide.
MS. TWISTER (angry) Fire J-Rod?! Not on my watch! Pincher you must be on crack cocaine to suggest we fire him. He’s our best . . . MR. ZIPP No one is firing anybody! We need every warm body we have for this upcoming inspection. LT. WAIT By the way, Mr. Zipp, all our night shift staff on guard at the gate must take NO DOZ now. MR. ZIPP (upbeat) That sounds like a plan! You’re doing a great job Chief. . keeping our fine employees safe. (an after thought.) Uh, and you too, Lt. Wait. Chief, I accept your Safety Plan of Correction. MS. TWISTER (smug / haughty) And what is the safety plan for the AWOLS�"the patients who keep escaping through the fence on the regular adult units, Chief CHIEF (Chief flashes Twister a look of resentment) Lady, don’t you ever quit! MR. ZIPP (sounding sheepish that he didn’t think of this question) Uh, that’s a good point. Uh . . . Chief, we’ve had . . . what fifteen or sixteen patients run away in the last six months? The Inspectors only uncovered the last three. Your staff only caught two patients. We can’t have a single escape between now and this next inspection. How’re you gonna’ close that loophole? (laughs) Uh, no pun intended, Chief. CHIEF (proceeds to write notes on a pad) Mr. Zipp, you’ve brought up an important point. Let the minutes show I will have the answer outlined and e-mailed to you by the close of business today. MS. TWISTER (sugary sweet) It’d be just peachy if we’re all copied that glorious plan. My nurses sure need to know. DR. DITHER I agree with Ms. Twister. My psychiatrists need to know about any plan to keep patients inside, and not outside (laughs) The psychiatric care can’t be that bad around here.
NURSE KANDI But, the food is! ALL (laughter)
LT. WAIT (laughing and doesn’t realize he drops the report papers under the table)
MR. ZIPP (excited, believing what he is saying ) This is great! . . . We’re making goood headway. Let’s move on. TWISTER, PINCHER, CHIEF, Lt. WAIT, DITHER ( looking at their watches, squirming, eager for meeting to end) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT
MAVIS I think I’ll wear a wig . . . make sure no one recognizes me. (suddenly upset) Oh, no! Zora! We forgot . . . those Inspectors . . . they stopped all new admissions . . . how will I ever get admitted now? ZORA Really now, Mavis! The incompetence didn’t suddenly just stop because yesterday the inspectors said no new admissions. Trust me . . . Dr. Dither, whose over the psychiatrists . . . he’ll forget to notify those retired, part-time doctors who come in from the community. That's who completes all the new admissions on the weekends. Just be sure you and Chet arrive at the Admissions Unit on a weekend. (laughs) They admit all comers on Saturdays and Sundays.
MAVIS Don’t tell me they get paid by the number of patients they admit or something?
ZORA No. But a lot of them are not psychiatrists. So, a moonlighting dermatologist or internist doesn’t want to get sued�" Too scared someone might commit suicide , or worse . . . so they let everybody in. Which means those regular adult unit beds are super overcrowded come Mondays. MAVIS That’s just crazy! ZORA No. . . . that’s just Mental Central! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT MR. ZIPP Now just like at home . . . when we’re expecting company . . . we clean up, make things sparkle. We can’t let our guests see our house�"see our Mental Central in a mess. I’m not suggesting we lie . . . but we need to conceal, uh, I mean, contain, certain charts. MS. TWISTER Well, recent escapes are impossible to hide. We had an escape five days ago in our male adult unit. Right through his bedroom ceiling vent and still gone! NURSE KANDI --(whispers to Zipp, takes her notes,exits ) CHIEF We’re on top of that, Mr. Zipp. Lt. Wait and I have a good lead. Ms. Twister needs to stick to nursing and let us do the policing around here.
MR. ZIPP (testy) So, why haven’t we picked him up yet? CHIEF We will, we will. (pauses). Uh . . . Lt. Wait didn’t get the caller’s name and number. MS. TWISTER What’d I tell you! Keystone Cops. NURSE KANDI (RE-ENTERS room, has copies, hands each person sheet of paper)
MR. ZIPP Please, Ms. Twister, let’s emphasize the positive. We all sink in the same boat. I have Chief’s and Lt. Wait’s assurance. What’s critical is we all do what we wrote in our Plan of Correction today. That’s the only way we’ll be sure the federal inspection team won’t give us a ‘black eye’. DR. DITHER Ms. Twister and Nurse Kandi, maybe you can have some of your staff bring in some nice things from home to decorate. Take them back after the inspection. MR. PINCHER Now that’s what I. . . I . . . I . . . call teamwork. I won’t have to buy . . . MS. TWISTER (interrupts) Oh, so only nurses have (mockingly) pretty thangs at home! MR. ZIPP Dr. Dither, that’s an excellent plan. Nurse Kandi, please ask the others about contributing a few pretties. NURSE KANDI But, who do I ask, Mr. Zipp? It’s just J-Rod and me . . . until Ms. Twister can hire more staff. MS. TWISTER And Mr. Pincher is tugging on the money bag strings so tight I can’t hire. MR. PINCHER Well, I, I, I take my orders from Mr. Zipp. My budget reflects his priorities for Mental Central PINCHER, CHIEF, WAIT, TWISTER, KANDI (silence. everyone looks at Mr. Zipp for long 3-4 beats) MR. ZIPP (uncomfortable, he rubs hands together, stands, false upbeat tone) Oookay, everyone, lets all implement our Plan of Correction. Nurse Kandi has given us copies of our minutes. Meeting’s adjourned. (EXIT �"All except Nurse Kandi)
NURSE KANDI (gathers up her papers from table) LEO (ENTERS �"Conf room-brings ladder, paint, brushes, etc., climbs up, starts to paint) I guess I’m just invisible as the rest of the other crazy patients ‘round here. Ya’ll made me feel like the spook who sat by the door. NURSE KANDI (goes to ladder �"looking upward) What are you talking about Leo? Come down off the ladder so we can talk. LEO Oh, I was painting walls in the hall. I could hear ya’ll’s meeting. Everything! NURSE KANDI (surprised) Oooh, Leo! You could hear us? (then upset he’s heard) I’m so sorry. LEO I’m the only Patient Trustee in this whole place. You’d think Mr. Zipp woulda’ asked me what they could do to pass that inspection. I do live here. All the patients talk to me. NURSE KANDI (looking up ladder) Please, Leo, come on down . . . LEO Today I saw Mr. Zipp for what he really is . . . no better than a street hustler. All these years acting like he was the big man in charge. In charge of what?! He didn’t even know what was going on ‘till those inspections and those reports showed up. Seems to me since he’s head of this place he shoulda’ been on top of his people a whole lot better. NURSE KANDI I’m sure Mr. Zipp is so worried about the hospital passing inspection next time … he just wasn’t thinking. (pleads) Please, Leo. LEO Always pumping me up. (angry) Telling me how important I am to him. I thought being Patient Trustee meant something. (climbs down the ladder, sits on top of paint bucket) NURSE KANDI You being Patient Trustee is important to the hospital. It gives the other patients a voice into administration. LEO (angry) Well, silence was all that he wanted from my voice today!
NURSE KANDI But maybe you can still talk to him . . . LEO (interrupts, hurt, angry, jumps up from sitting on paint bucket) Mr. Zipp and his folks pokes their fingers in all those inspectors’ eyes to blind them. Makin’ ‘em think this place is so grand. It was just a shell game all the time. Know what I figured out today? Those inspectors who’ve been checking out Mental Central every year? They’re worse than Mr. Zipp’s staff and his big bosses. ‘Cause inspectors from the State and the feds, too, they were supposed to be protecting us patients for real!
NURSE KANDI There are problems, but we . . . LEO But nothin’! Those federal and State inspectors were dancing to the same tune as Mr. Zipp and his staff: (dances around�"mimics singing) ‘Let me keep-my-job-get-my retirement-pension. (sits on paint bucket- looks up at her�"very hurt tone) Don’t you all understand? Mental Central is bigger than all of you? (rests head on forearms) NURSE KANDI Everyone is worried, Leo. LEO (jumps up from bucket �" paces back and forth) Oh, sure! Worried they could lose their jobs. But we lose our home. (hits his chest) Been my home for almost ten years.
NURSE KANDI (starts toward him, stops) Please, don’t, don’t Leo- - - we still have time to try and fix . . . LEO (pacing) I know what I call home is not a pretty sight. (he laughs.) Okay, it’s a dump really. But a few people working here really do care-- like you and J-Rod, and the kitchen food tray ladies who break the rules and slide us extra slices of homemade cake. But, Mr. Zipp and his staff. Naw! They don’t really care what . . . NURSE KANDI I’m so sorry you had to hear about things this way. Listen to me, Leo. Even if the governor closes this hospital there will be people who care in . . . LEO (angry) Where? In a regular prison? Trust me, caring is not a prison perk! (struts-boasting) Being a businessman, I can tell you . . . perks keep you motivated . . keep your creative juices flowing. Like our unit’s washing machines. Those machines are perks a business man like me can get his arms around. I can wash my own clothes separate from anybody else’s. That’s real important around here. Some folks don’t bathe. NURSE KANDI (laughs) Oooh yes, I remember how hard you pushed for patients to get to wash their clothes separately LEO (laughs) Yeah, it’s funny now. But it shouldn’t have been a fight to make administration understand germs! Nobody wants their clothes agitating with just anybody’s. I’m not calling names, but you know which joker is downright terrified of bathing. What’s that all about? (light chuckle) NURSE KANDI I got the doctor to write an order for us to bathe him. That’s not really your concern, Leo. LEO (walks over stands in front of her) Come on now, Sweet Kandi. (tenderly) Don’t you go getting’ on your high horse. (laughing) You know y’all can’t bathe Mr. Tiggner without three or four male nurse aides on duty. He’s scared of bath water and bathing. NURSE KANDI Leo, you know I can’t discuss patients with other patients. This conversation is getting out of line. (gathers up more papers left on the conference table) I need to go. LEO Wait! Please! Don’t get mad, Kandi. I’m sorry. Do you really think the hospital will stay open? NURSE KANDI Leo, I try to never lie to patients, . . . especially you. So yes, a lot of what I heard today is new and disturbing. But hopefully, today’s plan will correct what’s wrong before the inspection. LEO I dunno. I thought Mr. Zipp was a businessman. Like me. But he’s let his staff run this place in the ground. That’s the reason they failed that inspection. Asleep at the wheel way too long. You know it, too. NURSE KANDI (purposely changes subject) Maybe Ms. Twister and I can talk to Mr. Zipp. She could convince him to make you eligible for some type of trial group home placement. You’re our Patient Trustee, and you’ve been here so long. Then, if the hospital did get shut down, you could live there. How’s that sound?
LEO Well, my family’s not out there for me. Not anymore. (a beat, reflectively) I had a helluva’ IQ. Mama thought when I went to college it was her dream come true. All her hard work. But I just lasted a year. I really disappointed her. NURSE KANDI A lot of young people … especially black males … have their first psychotic break around college age. Never been away from home . . . experimenting with drugs. You know Leo, you can still finish college�"maybe, online. LEO Naw. Too late. I was big man on campus when I messed with pot. But that’s all. No cocaine, no crack, no heavy drugs. Doc Dither said it wasn’t only the drugs. Just something in my brain. Don’t know why I snapped. Mama says it’s her fault. Thinking if she’d stuck it out with our old man he woulda’ helped her raise me and my brother. Daddy worked but drank too much Jim and Jack too re-gu-lar . . . NURSE KANDI Illegal drugs definitely didn’t help. If you’d just stayed in treatment after your first mental break. . . LEO Those first two or three hospitals . . . Mama was still working and her insurance paid for some real fancy, private ones. But I didn’t go back to college so I got dropped off her policy anyway. NURSE KANDI A lot of private psyche hospitals ‘cherry-pick’ patients with those skimpy mental insurance benefits. Then when there’s no more until the next year, they ship the patients to us because State hospitals can’t refuse to admit folks. LEO Some kinda’ way Mama kept getting my meds refilled. Hell, I'd stopped takin’ ‘em anyway. I’d get crazy, threaten to hurt her grandkids. She got tired of calling the cops on me. Cops would bring me to here most times. She finally gave up on me. NURSE KANDI Some families just can’t take the constant disruptions in their lives, Leo. LEO I know I hurt Mama. She’s who begged my older brother and his wife to pay a bail bondsman. Got me out of jail when I beat up this guy riding one of those sidewalk scooters. He almost died. Then I skipped my court date. They lost their house , everything. They all wound up movin’ into Mama’s little apartment. But she still came to court every day. Then that judge framed me for those prostitutes’ murders. . . (shakes his head) NURSE KANDI You never told me much about your mother when I first started working here.
LEO ( lifts head, smiles, flirting) And, you’ve been here seven years, Sweet Kandi. NURSE KANDI Seven? Has I been that long? LEO Oh, I keep count now, Sweet Kandi.
NURSE KANDI I notice your mother’s visits stopped …she only calls now. LEO Mama’s too old to make that 130 mile one way bus ride. But, I don’t blame Mama anymore, though. NURSE KANDI I’m surprised to hear you admit that, Leo. That’s good.
LEO (with tenderness) Like it takes more than just love to revive a family’s hurt feelings. . . .when you’ve pulled a gun on 'em. Walked naked to the corner store for a beer. Shamed them in front of the neighbors. Mama musta’ worried God to death. Constantly praying for me to get a regular job. NURSE KANDI Some families just get overwhelmed with so much coming at them. It’s good you are gaining some insight. LEO Almost ten years worth. (returning anger) That’s why I have a lot at stake if Mental Central closes. Mr. Zipp and his staff could fool around and get this place shut down. Talking ‘bout they got a plan. Did you hear a plan? All of us patients will end up in a State penitentiary for sure. NURSE KANDI (picks up trash can, begins to put in extra copies from the meeting) Calm down, Leo. Mr. Zipp’s telling us Mental Central will close if we don’t pass was a serious wake-up call for all of us. I have to believe that. LEO (takes trash can from her hand, their hands touch, linger on trash can) I’ll empty that trash can for you when I finish painting. I know you care about me. NURSE KANDI I care about all the . . . LEO (he takes her face in both his hands and kisses her lips)
NURSE KANDI (she allows his kisses, returns his kiss and embrace)
LEO (voice longing, wraps his arms around her, kisses her again ) My sweet, sweet Kandi. My life wouldn’t be bearable without you.
NURSE KANDI (briefly leans into him�"a beat -- then pushes palms gently on his chest) Leo . . . no . . . I’ve told you before . . . I . . . we . . . shouldn’t . . . not anymore . . . LEO (sighs heavily �"still embracing her) I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’m just scared about never seeing you again if this place . . . NURSE KANDI (firmly, places her fingers on his lips) Don’t! It won’t close. It can’t. You have to believe it too, Leo. And, I truly believe the entire staff cares enough to work hard to pass the inspection. LEO (pulls away�"tone changes) Well, that Ms. Twister sure doesn’t sound like she gives a damn. NURSE KANDI I believe Ms. Twister is concerned. She’s got lots of new ideas but ideas take money. Ms. Twister always figures out how to get what she wants. And she wants to open a home in the community for Forensics patients. Where they’ll re-learn living and working skills. LEO Right! Something like that will happen . . . NEVER! Not if it’s left up to Zipp and Pincher. NURSE KANDI (firm) Think positive, Leo. I’ll make sure your name is on the list when she gets it approved. LEO Zipp and Pincher play a street shell game. Good cop, bad cop with the money, if you ask me. (a beat) Maybe Zipp shouldn’t be so sure … that ain’t nobody singing up in here. NURSE KANDI (grabs his arm--fearful, worried) What are you saying, Leo? Please, don’t you go getting the hospital into any more trouble than it is in already. Promise me you won’t do anything, Leo! LEO (laughs) Trouble? Who me? NURSE KANDI (looks at watch) I’m late helping the doctors with treatment rounds. You’d better finish painting. You don’t want to be late for the volunteer church choir at 4 o’clock. Missing group activities counts against you. LEO Oh, I’ll be there singing gospels with Ms. Hattie to save my sinful soul. (laughs) It’s a little late since I’m already locked up in hell. . . . Look, some of us want to listen to a little jazz . . . some Ray Charles , and Chris Botti for a change. Can’t you find a local jazz band to volunteer to play once in a while? NURSE KANDI I’ll try. But, you know Ms. Hattie will pitch a fit if she can’t play back-up for that gospel choir on her portable piano. And it really is part of her therapy. But I promise I’ll bring you extra popcorn for the movie. Sound good? LEO With real melted butter? NURSE KANDI With real melted butter. LEO Sounds damn good! LEO & NURSE KANDI (he pulls her back, kisses her again�"she does not resist ) NURSE KANDI ( EXITS) LEO (pulls papers from trash, folds it, puts it in his pocket; takes inspection report copy left on floor under conference table) [ EXITS-END OF SCENE] ACT II-7___MAVIS TELLS CHET HER PLAN- ON PARK BENCH MAVIS Um, Chet, uh, I need to tell you something. CHET What? That black women really don't like roller skating because the going round and round on skates messes up their hair? MAVIS (laughing) Nooo! That's not even close. CHET (sits on bench, pulls her down on his lap - kisses her) Is that close enough? MAVIS You've just made telling you harder. First, I want you to know I’ve been very happy these last four years that we’ve been together, Chet. (leans her head on his shoulder) CHET Uh, oh. Don't tell me if you're about to ruin our one afternoon out of the office together in months. Let's skate
MAVIS (stands up-nervously) It’s just that I, well, I don't want our engagement announcement to go public. . . . not just yet. CHET (looks up, then down, starts untangling skate laces) Whoa! My parents love you . . . your parents at least say they like me . . . did I miss something? MAVIS Just that I want to win a Pulitzer Prize . . . for my newspaper reporting series on all these unexplained patient deaths in the State mental hospitals. CHET (stops untangling skates- looks up) Before we get married? (laughs, snaps his fingers) Just like that! You want to win a coveted journalism award? Now the way I figure, then I'll be around sixty then before we're married. Those don't just fall out of the sky, Mavis! MAVIS (paces) I'm serious, Chet. You've been in the newspaper business a lot longer so your name's already out there. But newspaper reporter jobs are getting harder to come by. My name’s not anywhere. (excited) So! I've got this idea. (sits on bench beside him again) CHET (a beat . . . turns to look at her) But, you said your biological clock was ticking�" and we both want kids. Right? MAVIS Chet, (voice firm, determined) I'm stopping my damn biological clock�" taking the batteries out . . .(laughs, softens tone) . . . just for a little while. Seriously, I want to do some hard core investigative field reporting. (stands) CHET If you're talking Mental Central and Zora Chance's “whistle blowing” . . . hell, she in administration. Her credibility has been about 99.9%. We can't do any better than that. (removes one shoe) MAVIS (hands on hips, leans over him on bench) Oh, yes we can! (a beat) . . . What if I got myself admitted as a patient? CHET (slumps back on bench�"a beat) You're crazy! You're out of your mind. (leans down, starts to put on one skate, stops) MAVIS Haven't you always said you love me for my mind? CHET (silence, shakes head, takes off other shoe) MAVIS Chet, at least listen to my plan. (pulls out a notebook) CHET Engaged women make wedding plans. (looks skyward) But, not Mavis Kirkpatrick; Noooo! Mavis Kirkpatrick's got breaking and entering on her mind! (touches her notebook--shocked) You've actually written a plan?
MAVIS If I follow Zora's instructions it's really not all that complicated. CHET Zora's instructions! Do you mean that Zora Chance blessed this, this . . . your madness?
MAVIS Please don't be angry at Zora. I just couldn't keep writing more articles about what she’s slipped to us on all the deaths, on the patient runaways . . . on everything we’ve written . . . but, it's always after the patients were dead and couldn't be helped. So, I asked Zora how hard it'd be to get inside�" as a patient. CHET But, Zora blames the entire system being broken due to high level staff’ “incompetence”�"her words, not mine. Says nobody has the political will- the guts. Remember? MAVIS (accusatory) Well, she’s not done anything either! She’s no different than the politicians or the federal government. Has she just looked the other way too . . . to keep her job? CHET (raises his voice�"angry) What’s got into you, Mavis!? It’s not just her job she could lose . . . her future livelihood would be gone. There’d be no past articles if she hadn’t taken the same risks I’m sure she’s warned you about. MAVIS She tried to talk me out of it�"telling me about not just the physical danger and violence, but how I could end up with federal charges, in prison, even fined. CHET So, why’d Zora cave in with this lapse of sanity? MAVIS I really think that child dying is the reason she agreed to help me. And that she strongly believes�"top to bottom�"the State’s mental health system seems to be into cover-up or finger-pointing. Or both! CHET Neither one of you is thinking clearly. MAVIS (angry�"jumps up) Because we're women? CHET Hell, no! Sit! (takes her hands in his) Because you both need to remember all that legal information stuff Zora gave us months ago. About how there are Federal laws to protect the privacy of mentally ill and substance abusing patients. Mavis, you'd be illegally invading their privacy . . . by simply being inside a patient unit�"and under false pretenses. I even remember her saying visitors can only visit family members or friends in the front lobby. MAVIS Ok, ok. Please! Just hear me out, Chet. (stands, paces) I want to know what Zora's so called ‘incompetence’ really looks like. I want to put a face on it in the story I'll write. I want to describe its personality. I need to see how it's played out everyday in the life of a patient. And, see what type of staff makes those plays�"the plays that cause patients to die needlessly. (a beat) . . . CHET (2 beats--voice becomes husky with emotion) Damn! There goes that mind of yours that I love . . . presenting an argument I can't counter. MAVIS Chet, (sits beside him) I can't pull this off without you. You'll need to take me there . . . to the admissions unit . . . say you are my husband. I can pass you information by phone�"maybe daily. She gave me a script for you. Please?
CHET If I’m to marry you before this decade is over I guess I have no choice, huh? (hugs and kisses her) MAVIS I love, love, love you! Here! (pulls out notes) Look at my plan�"shoot holes in it. I want it to be bullet proof. (they pour over her notebook) By the way, in the past, the Journalism Pulitzer has on occasion been awarded to two newspaper reporters writing on the same story. CHET Why do you think I finally signed on? You think I want to be left out? (laughs)
END OF SCENE) ACT I-8___CHET & ZORA: “THE BREAK- IN” Location �" A PARK ; Sunday evening CHET - sitting on park bench ZORA (ENTERS) CHET (stands up ) Hey, Zora. Thanks for meeting me so late. I brought Mello Mushroom pizza. (opens box) ZORA No problem, I was just leaving the house and headed to find food. (reaches for a slice and napkin) Hmmm, I'm starved. No dinner yet. (begins to eat) CHET (very excited) We did it! Today! I just left the hospital admissions office. Mavis' alias is Beauty Boots now. She’s wearing one ugly wig! Her husband (pats his chest)�"yours truly�"got her admitted around four thirty this afternoon. I just wanted to thank you for your help. That script you gave us--�"it worked like a charm.
ZORA (excited) Noooo! Chet! That’s amazing! So, Mavis is now AKA�" (also known as)-- Beauty Boots! That’s some name! So, you all had no problems at all?
CHET Not a single one! I don’t think she’ll mind if I tell you something now . . . she wanted to get this series of articles done before we went public . . . we’re engaged to be married. ZORA Ohhh, that’s wonderful! Congratulations! So, playing that fake husband role today was great practice for you both. CHET Right! (laughs) Some emergency must’ve been going on somewhere else in the hospital. The doctor was in a rush�"didn’t ask me too many questions. Just took as gospel what I said from your script all that she’d been doing for a few weeks: Refusing to talk, acting bizarre, setting the mattress on fire, eating only dry cereal, and losing about fifteen pounds in the last month. ZORA Well, did they weigh Ms. Beauty Boots . . . give her an unclothed physical examination?
CHET Heck, no. (laughs) Didn’t even touch her. I think the doctor . . . a Dr. Gillmore . . . was in a rush to get to that emergency. I kept hearing the paging system announcing a code color something or other. A Student Nurse working with Dr. Gillmore actually had to finish up Mavis’, I mean Beauty’s admission. ZORA Chet, I do have a bit of bad news. Friday, Mr. Zipp moved my office location �" off the hospital grounds. I’ll be temporarily working out of a community group home . . . about forty to fifty miles from the hospital. Moving me means my master key security clearance had to change�"I can’t unlock every door at the hospital anymore. CHET (fearful/ disturbed) You’re not going to be able to check on Mavis like we planned?
ZORA Oh, yes! Just not as often as we expected. CHET Damn! My contacts in the governor’s office tell me she's even talked to Washington about those federal inspectors who are due to come. Seems that she, as govenor, chose the fast track for re-inspection. She wants all bad news to die down before folks go to the polls to vote. Zora, I was countin’ on your information. Will you still be sittin’ in on the hospital head’s meetings? ZORA Oh, sure . . . unless Mr. Zipp calls an emergency meeting and I wouldn’t have enough time to drive in. Jeez! That follow up inspection could be real soon, huh? No way can staff fix all those problems fast. Makes me think the governor wants the place to fail . . . so she can close it down before the voting starts. CHET Or, she’s probably trying to show she can play hard ball. Or have a private contractor run the place. ZORA When I go in for Mr. Zipp’s meeting next week, I‘ll find out which adult mental unit they placed Mavis. CHET Oh, wait. I know the unit’s name. It’s, uh, let me see; I wrote it down here somewhere. (keeps talking while looking through papers in brief case) The Student Nurse helping that Dr. Gillmore told her all the adult beds were full on the first unit the doctor assigned. So, Dr. Gillmore told the Student Nurse to find papers) They gave me a ton of papers. Oh, here it is. She was admitted to the F-Two Unit.
ZORA (upset, grabs the paper from him) F- Two Unit? Oh no! That “F” stands for Forensics . . .the Forensic 2 Unit! The Student Nurse made a mistake . . . she put Mavis on the wrong adult unit. That’s the long term unit for the criminally insane. CHET What! Oh my, God, Zora. I’ve got to help her! Tell me . . . how to get her out . . . ? ZORA (interrupts) It’s impossible, Chet! All those patients are discharged back to a court . . . to a judge�"our psychiatrists only tell the courts if they are competent to stand trial. CHET Court! Trial! That can't be! I’ve gotta’ find a way! EXITS- rushes out of park ZORA Wait! Chet! Chet!
LIGHTS DOWN - END OF OF ACT II INTERMISSION-1
ACT III �" THE INSANE DECIDE
TIME: A few days later. ACT III-1 ___ BEAUTY’S /aka/ MAVIS --PATIENT ON FORENSIC 2 UNIT PATIENT ENSEMBLE (5-7 patients) (“acting out”, pacing, fighting, sleeping) STUDENT NURSE (cleaning medicine cart; walks around tidying room, talks to pts) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPOTLIGHT�" on phone booth, light dims on all other patients) BEAUTY (sitting on floor, leaning against phone booth, dozing; awakens, moves slow, goes into phone booth-dials- listens) [TELEPHONE VOICE MESSAGE] Hello. Chet, here. Please leave a message at the sound of the tone. (she leaves Chet a message; speaks as if she’s foggy; words are slow at times) Chet, sweetheart, it’s me. I thought you’d come to see me by now. I can’t think so good anymore. I had to write down what I want to say to you. (looks at notes during call) I’ve lost count of how many days I’ve been here. Four? Five?. The month on wall calendar looks funny. They need to turn it. They took me to a treatment planning meeting. With all staff. Yesterday. Or day before. But, the whole meeting the psychologist just typed on a computer. I can’t figure out what kind of psychology they practice in here. Just typing never talking to patients. The psychiatrist�"the head one, Dr. Dither--kept trying to get me to talk. I did what Zora said . . . I didn’t mutter a word! Chet, honey, these drugs worked real fast on me. Seems like the only treatment in here is drug treatment . . . patients just sleeping off their meds all day long. Me, too. I tried to hide pills in my cheek and spit them out later. I got caught. Now they check my mouth when they pass out pills. Chet, did a Mr. Hud�"the social worker- call you yet? . . . About my discharge date? Chet, honey, I’m getting really nervous ‘cause these drugs are starting to mess with me. (looks around, stage whispers) I’m starting to make uh . . . sensually . . . sexually caressing movements . . . in front of people . . . I can’t stop myself. I’m so embarrassed. (back to normal voice) Come see me. I got lots to tell. (Beauty sits on floor inside phone booth, leans her head back) [FULL LIGHTING OF PATIENT’S DAYROOM ] LEO (addresses Mr. SMART--uses thumb to motion at Beauty in phone booth) Wonder when ‘sleeping beauty’ over there in the phone booth is going to sleep off her ‘medication cocktail’? SMART Man, it took me most part of a month to get used to what they shot up in my butt when I first got in here. Ativan, Benadryl, Geodon, Risperdal. They even tried some outdated drug on me. Thorazine. Then they had to give me that Cogentin to make the side effects go away. LEO Well, I refuse that Seroquel cause I know I ain’t no paranoid schiz. But, I’ve fought the refuse med battle long enough to know I only win for a little while every time. GAMBLING GREEN Hey, Leo, she’s a pretty little thang, too. LEO Yeah! I just might haveta’ give Beauty a ‘Leo counseling session’ . (laughs, then tone changes) Naw, she must be a real nut. Keeps asking questions like she’s not one of us �"like she’s important or somethin’. MR. SMART (calls across room) You suspicious of every thing, Man. Hey, J-Rod! I need a cigarette real bad. Can’t we go outside in the “Cage” yet?
J-ROD In a little while, Mr. Smart. Mr. Leo, you’re on the work list to paint in the gym this week. The Nurse’ll let you out . LEO (raises his gloves, brushes, to show he’s prepared to paint) J-ROD (looks at clip board - calls out) Ms. Beauty! Where’s Ms. Beauty? BEAUTY (crawls out of booth, struggles to stand up, wig unkempt, clothes rumpled, EXITS)
BEAUTY Over . . . here. I’m . . . over here. J-ROD (rushes over to help her stand up, leads her to a seat) . Beauty, you're on the schedule to have your administrative hearing with Judge Zane in a little while. You stay inside, too. Either Lt. Wait or Dr. Dithers will come and take you to your hearing. BEAUTY (seated) Oh, did . . . did you say hearing? Is it about my getting out �" getting discharged? (happy, relieved�"pats her wig, touches her dress) J-ROD Could be . . . I can’t say for sure though, Miss Beauty. STUDENT NURSE (wiping down medicine cart) Mr. Leo, I’ll be with you in just a minute. LEO (gathers paint equipment, stands in front of the sound-muted TV to wait )
J-ROD Okay, everyone else . . . line up to go out in The Cage . . . uh . . . I mean, the Fenced Area for fresh air. All smokers . . . please stay in your special area. I’ll pass out cigarettes and light them for ya’ll in a minute. (J-Rod stands in doorway -- counts aloud each patient passing into Fenced area ) One . . . two . . . three . GREEN, SMART, ALL THE PATIENT ENSEMBLE (they walk single file out into Fenced area ) SMART (interrupts J-Rod’s counting�"causes him to lose his count) J-Rod, I need to get a basketball. (makes imaginary ball shot in air) We gotta’ practice for next week’s hoops competition games in the gym. J-ROD Ok, but hurry up, Mr. Smart. Three, four . . . . five . . .six . . . seven . . . . (J-ROD EXITS- into Fenced area�"nicknamed: ”The Cage”) SMART (RE-ENTERS- Dayroom, then ENTERS a bedroom door) STUDENT NURSE (stops cleaning med cart, approaches Leo at TV) Mr. Leo, it’s my last day on the Forensics 2 Unit. (proudly) I’m a graduating senior student nurse. But I still need complete my assignment to interview you. LEO Too bad. (turns knobs on TV but sound still muted --walks away to table, checks paint items in bags) STUDENT NURSE (follows Leo, scolds, then complimentary) But, Nurse Kandi said I could talk to you. . . before you go to your painting job. She said you’re the only Patient Trustee in the entire hospital. LEO (proud at first) Did your homework on me, huh? (then catches himself�"slightly annoyed) Nurse Kandi talks too damn much out of her mouth. I’m through with interviews. Done enough to last a lifetime. STUDENT NURSE Please, Mr. Leo. My teacher will fail me if I don’t . . .
LEO (sighs heavily) Look, I’m tired of answering the same damn questions for almost ten years from you students. Tell you what . . . Just make up something and write it in that notebook of yours. (walks away, sits on sofa, puts his bags /brushes/ gloves on floor between his legs) STUDENT NURSE (follows and sits beside him�"note pad in hand) You can’t mean what you just said, Mr. Leo. BEAUTY (shaky on her feet; walks over to Nurse to hear better; pretends to read magazine on bookshelf) LEO That’s what nurses and doctors do ‘round here. Make up stuff all the time and write it in our charts. MR. SMART (RE-ENTERS-dayroom from bedroom-basketball in hand-waits around to listen) STUDENT NURSE Why Nurse Kandi wouldn’t do that! She’s taught me more psychiatric nursing in two months than my instructor’s taught me all semester. LEO (smiling, brightens up) Well . . . except for Nurse Kandi. (boasting) She lights my fire, if you get my drift. I got the 4-1-1 on everybody. Nurse Kandi, too. But I’m not telling any of our personal business.
SMART (heading to door of Fenced Area- stops) Nurse Kandi and you? Man, you need to quit lying. LEO You jealous, Smart? SMART No! Clairvoyant! I know a liar when I see and hear one. (SMART EXITS - door to Fenced/Cage area)
STUDENT NURSE (nervous, chatty) You two sure do like to tease each other, Mr. Leo. BEAUTY Sounds like you’re in love with Nurse Kandi, Leo? How does that work . . . in here, I mean? LEO She’s in love with me. I didn’t say what I am. STUDENT NURSE As I was saying, . . .Mr. Leo . . . Nurse Kandi’s a great teacher. She taught me all about psychiatric medicines and . . . LEO Yippee! . . .Now I need to get outta’ here and go paint in the gym. Unlock the door . . .uh . . . Please. (goes to stand in front of muted TV again) BEAUTY But she’d get fired . . . if it got out, right, Leo? A patient and a nurse having an affair?
STUDENT NURSE I promise my interview won’t take much time, sir. LEO ( raises his voice �"walks away from TV) I get it�"you’re deaf! I’m not talking to you 'bout nothing, Nurse. BEAUTY When does Nurse Kandi get to show you how she feels about you, Leo? She get you passes? LEO (flirty) Now that sounds like maybe you want to take her place, Beauty.
BEAUTY (laughs- flirty) Really? How do you two keep it undercover?
LEO Devil's always in the details . . . (flirts back) and you know where to find me. BEAUTY Romance and death in Mental Central? Yikes! I mean . . . STUDENT NURSE (interrupts Beauty) Uh, Ms. Beauty please. I really need Mr. Leo to just talk to me.
BEAUTY Well, you need to ask him the right questions. And so far, I haven’t heard you doing that! I'm a journalist so I know how to conduct an interview! (still stands at bookcase) LEO Beauty, girl, you can write me up anytime�"(more flirting) . . . know what I mean? (wags his index finger to Beauty) STUDENT NURSE (ignores Beauty) Mr. Leo. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just need. . .
LEO (voice is less loud) Get yourself some real life practice, nurse: Write down whatever you want. (walks to book case, stands at end opposite Beauty, thumbs paperbacks) BEAUTY See? You got him upset now. I was just trying to help you get an interview that would’ve got you an “A+”. (goes to sit on floor beside phone booth�"writes notes with pencil and paper she hides under wig) STUDENT NURSE (persistent, follows Leo) Just tell me what’s it like for you living in here, Mr. Leo?
BEAUTY Nurse, living someplace less than a week is not living . . . they only stay here five . . . LEO (interrupts her) All I gotta' say is Mental Central is a good home. Period.
STUDENT NURSE Home!? How could that be? (holds up her keys) Someone always locking you behind doors? LEO Can’t talk now. You making me late. STUDENT NURSE Uh. . .but sir... (pleading), my teacher . . . LEO (getting irritated) Listen, this place is full of patients you can interview. I’ve talked to hundreds of you students, medical residents, pharmacists�"coming to gawk at me every year. Asking me every question under the sun. I don’t have no answers left in me.
BEAUTY Every year!? Leo, folks don't stay here but a few days. What are you mean ? . . . . (she’s still thinking patients only stay 3-5 days) STUDENT NURSE (tries different approach with Leo) You know, from my other interviews, seems other patients like it here, too. Why’s that? LEO Go ask ‘em. I’m not going anywhere else from here. BEAUTY ( confused by Leo’s answers) Leo, don’t you think the medicine is messing with your mind, too . . . making you think its been years since you got here . . . ? I know I’ve lost track of time . . . STUDENT NURSE (interrupts Beauty) Shouldn’t your treatment get you discharged, Mr. Leo? LEO You seen anybody get let outta here? We live right here. There’re two kinda’ patients in here. You got the ones being tested and treated, to see if they’re sane enough to stand trial. And, the ones already been tested, been to trial, but the court leaves ‘em in here. ‘Cause they were too stoned out on drugs . . . or too mentally slow … or they were too crazy at the time they did the crime to know they were doing wrong. Any early discharge date for us means jail or prison. Some like me get lucky enough to live out our life right here … as a resident. Got it? BEAUTY (she’s not understanding what she’s hearing) Crimes? . . . What are you talking about, Leo . . .? STUDENT NURSE (interrupts Beauty) Well, no one has made it exactly that clear before, Mr. Leo. LEO Happy to oblige. (takes a bow) BEAUTY Nurse, what he’s telling you . . . it sure sounds a whole lot different from what I knew before I came in here . . . about how long patients stay, I mean. Good interviewers check their facts. STUDENT NURSE Please don't interrupt again, Ms. Beauty. Why are you in here, Mr. Leo? LEO It’s all in the public court house records. STUDENT NURSE But, my instructor says mental patients’ records are highly confidential. I can’t . . .
LEO Not our medical charts, lady. Po-lice arrests are public, ya’ know. And just for the record, I (points to his chest, defiantly, angrily) was framed by that Judge Zane (turns to Beauty) . . . who you’ll be seeing today Beauty. BEAUTY (walks over to Leo, gets in front of Student Nurse) Framed? How could that happen? To everyone? LEO (annoyed) Didn’t say everyone! (boastful) You can see I’m movie star-handsome, right? (waits a beat) Well that Judge Zane, she wants to keep me right here�"for herself. Makes me come to her hearings. ‘Bout every few months. I keep asking for a male judge. STUDENT NURSE I just need to know about you, Mr. Leo. LEO As for the rest of ‘em in here . . . the courts said they were straight-up insane as reason they did crimes. Some even knee-walking, knuckle-dragging drunk, or stoned on drugs when they did it. Others, the courts say they’re IQs were too low so they didn’t even know they committing crimes like, assault, murder, rape, incest, armed robbery, terrorist threats, molestation, “flashing” in public, spitting on the street �"you name it.
STUDENT NURSE Ms. Beauty, please move back. BEAUTY (steps back but only slightly) STUDENT NURSE Now really, Mr. Leo, a lot of people kill folks . . . break laws. All of them don’t end up in a mental hospital. LEO Everybody who’s mentally ill or who hears voices does not commit a crime, lady. But a bunch of folks who are mentally ill do.
STUDENT NURSE Oooh. LEO How I got here is no big mystery�"somebody claimed I committed a crime. STUDENT NURSE What crime . . .exactly? LEO (ignores her question) In my business I had connections. Look, I can’t say I didn’t get lucky to end up here. STUDENT NURSE Lucky!? LEO I’d rather be here than in some county back woods prison. . . some rural guard itching for a reason to pop a cap in my butt like I was Bambi. Naw, not the brother.
STUDENT NURSE Mr. Leo, I don't have time to research at the police department. Couldn’t you just tell me your crime? LEO (losing patience�"fists are tightened at his side) I didn’t commit no crime, lady! (jabs his finger in the air at her) Like any good businessman I plowed my profits back into my business, into my girls. They were jiggy all right! Dressed ‘em to the nines. And I only outsourced�"you like that word?�"outsourced my stable to big time politicians, lawyers. BEAUTY Oh, prostitution! (laughs)
STUDENT NURSE (shocked, covers her mouth with hand) BEAUTY Leo, this is not a jail . . . it’s just a mental hospital. Nurse he’s just putting you on! Or, is the correct word hallucinating? Or delusional? (she laughs, shakes her head) You’re a card, Leo. (EXITS )�" wobbly, Beauty goes to “The Cage”door, knocks �"it opens) LEO (runs over to rant at Beauty-- through the closed Cage door) Escorts! Not prostitutes! (returns his attention to Student Nurse) I never let my girls mess with no preachers, teachers, no doctors either. They’re all too cheap! They wouldn’t know a high quality escort if she slapped ‘em on the butt. My escorts were for state senators, mayors, governors, diplomats. Now those folks . . . especially your politicians . . . they understand about money ‘changin’ hands. Anyway, I can prove I’m no serial prostitute killer like that Judge Zane claims . . .
STUDENT NURSE (frightened, nervously talking to herself, heads to main exit door) Uh, . . oh, what did I do with my keys? (searches her pockets)
LEO (following her) Thought you wanted to hear me talk! So, listen! That stuff they wrote about me in the newspapers, and in my chart �"that I’m paranoid schizophrenic�"straight up lies! All lies!
STUDENT NURSE You’d never get parole, right? LEO You sound like you hope I don’t. Well, Nurse Kandi shoulda' told you there ain't no such thing as parole from a forensic unit.
STUDENT NURSE Oh, I didn’t mean to . . . LEO None of us know if we’ll ever get out of Mental Central, and like I told 'ya, some of us hope we don’t 'cause that might mean we're headed to prison.
STUDENT NURSE But what if your medications and therapy finally work? LEO Who’s to say? (laughs) Anyway, shoot. . . therapy? Hey, thas’ an endangered species ' round here. You tell me if you run across some therapy in Mental Central, little lady. I’d like to see what therapy looks like! Now let me get to work or do I havta' go get a key myself? (he turns up sound on TV) STUDENT NURSE (shocked look on her face, she finds key in her pocket, unlocks door ) LEO (EXITS -Dayroom with bag /brushes/gloves)
STUDENT NURSE (begins to wheel out medication cart out of Dayroom-- stops, watches, listens to 1st TV announcement) TV ANNOUNCER . . . This just in . . . our sources tell us an urgent fax from the Governor was sent to Mental Central State Psychiatric Hospital this morning. Apparently advising of an unscheduled federal inspection that could result in dire consequences for the facility. . . . Efforts to contact the Governor’s office and the hospital have been unsuccessful. We’ll keep you updated at noon.
STUDENT NURSE (begins to leave again . . . but stops, sees photograph of reporter, Chet James flashed on TV screen. Rushes over to TV, stares. TV ANNOUNCER After the break, we’ll have coverage on local newspaper reporter, Chet James. Mr. James was arrested for allegedly attempting to break-in and enter a very unusual facility He’s expected to enter his plea today. We’ll take you live inside the courtroom. Stay with us for all the latest.
STUDENT NURSE (speaks aloud to herself) Humph. He sure looks familiar�"I know I’ve seen him somewhere . . . (EXITS-- pushing med. cart back into nurse’s room) ACT III-2 - JUDGE ZANE: BEAUTY’S ADMINISTRATIVE HEARING -----(Setting: Conference Room) LT. WAIT (paces room, combs his hair, adjusts his cap and American Flag) JUDGE ZANE (ENTERS -rushes into the room- opens brief case to remove black robe) Ahhh, hellooo, Lt. Wait. The police chief still giving you a hard time? LT. WAIT (overly attentive-rushes over to help with robe, chair) Awww. Judge Zane, the Chief’s bark is worse than his bite. Good man. But, he’s real mad this week though. They told him we can’t wear our guns with the bullets in them anymore. But, he’s got retirement to look forward to in a less than a coupla’ years. Makes him grumpy that time is moving soooo slow. (helps judge with her robe; tone becomes personal) Sorry I couldn’t make it for lunch today. Mr. Zipp had an emergency meeting. How ‘bout I make it up to you with dinner tomorrow evening? (kisses her neck) JUDGE ZANE (enjoys his flirting, laughs,) Behave yourself now, Lt. (sighs) Retirement will surely mellow us all. I apologize for being a bit late today. (lets him help her put on robe) But that gridlock drive is all worth it if Mental Central can free up a four or five vacant forensic beds for me today. (tone changes -husky) And, dinner tomorrow night just might put you back in my good grace, Lt. (pinches his cheek, sits at table) LT. WAIT I can hard-ly wait . . . uh, your Honor. (clears throat as physician enters; stands off to side of judge’s conf. table) DR. DITHER (ENTERS�"seems distracted, unsure; stands) Good morning, good morning, Judge Zane. Lt. Wait. JUDGE ZANE (shuffles file folders) Oh, hello, Dr. Dilley. Hmmm. (flipping pages in the file). DR. DITHER (he stands in front of judge during entire scene) Uh, that’s Dither. Dr. Dither, your honor...
JUDGE ZANE What? Oh, yes. Excuse me. Dr. Dither. (looking down at the file folders) Good to see you again. LT. WAIT (steps forward, leans over, points to a file) That’s the file for today’s hearing, Judge DR. DITHER Uh, your honor . . . uh, Judge Zane, we have only one patient for administrative hearing today. JUDGE ZANE (sarcastic) One patient! DR. DITHER A case for continued commitment. JUDGE ZANE And a continued stay patient at that! Now, that won’t give me even one empty bed for a jail inmate, now will it? DR. DITHER Uh, no, your Honor. JUDGE ZANE (points) I want to again impress upon you, Dr. Dither, the court’s waiting list for getting prisoners in here for psychological exams is way too long. I need at least eight vacant beds myself and the other three judges need about as many. (sighs ) OK, Lt. Wait, please bring in the patient. LT. WAIT (EXITS)
`JUDGE ZANE (tone friendlier, but lectures) Dr. Dither, as head of Psychiatry, I’m sure you’re especially worried about this morning’s shocking news report. DR. DITHER Uh, I was running late this morning . . . I missed . . . JUDGE ZANE (interrupts) Well, it’s all over the news�"radio and TV. A major budget squeeze is brewing . . . looks like it’s headed straight for all of the State’s psychiatric hospitals. This one in particular.
DR. DITHER (nervously laughs) Probably just rumors. Without rumors we State employees have no reason to come to work everyday.
JUDGE ZANE Oh, more than a rumor. A lot more. The governor is trying to test her political sea legs. She’s already contracting out as many State services as she can to private businesses. Trying to save money, you know. DR. DITHER (surprised) Ooooh, I hadn’t heard that. JUDGE ZANE And, she says she’s going to cut cost and waste by closing some of the State’s ten psychiatric facilities. Plus, they said she’s thinking about letting private contractors run this place! DR. DITHER What?! Run Mental Central? A private company? I doubt that will ever happen. We run a topnotch facility here. Uh, . . . (voice weak) now while we’ve had a few minor problems with some State inspectors recently, (strong, forceful tone) we’re not going to stand for our hospital show up on the governor’s radar for closure or outsiders running it. JUDGE ZANE I’ve been holding patient hearings here for several years. I’ll be frank. I’ve seen little to no improvement in how fast patients get from jail … to your Forensics units … then back to court for trial. DR. DITHER (proud) Oh, we pull out our ‘bag of tricks’ every year to win over those State inspectors. (giggles) Why, a few nice lunches. Painting new yellow pedestrian lines on the hospital grounds. That pretty much guarantees we pass muster every year. (laughs)
JUDGE ZANE Well, I’ve always encouraged you folks to get prisoners timely evaluations to see if they are sane enough to stand trial. I’m warning you today, I’ll have to push harder now that the governor has put a bulls eye on Mental Central.
DR. DITHER As you know-- by law-- we can’t refuse any patients referred to us. So, we stay overcrowded all over the hospital. And not just in our Forensics units. We’re always short staffed in nursing … I havta’ use part-time doctors . . .
JUDGE ZANE (interrupts) What I know, doctor, is that it takes months even when we do get a prisoner admitted and evaluated. Takes even longer when ya’ll recommend the hospital needs to treat the person first . . . to see if they will be able to stand trial. Ya’ll take so long the State’s going to be covered up in law suits from every human and civil rights organization on the planet. DR. DITHER Er, . . uh, well, uh, you know Judge, mental illness is a whole lot like diabetes. We just try to stabilize the patients’ symptoms. That’s real difficult with some patients.
JUDGE ZANE Doctor, I know there’s no cure. But, someone DR. DITHER My staff works very hard to admit and discharge all patients quickly. Including those in our Forensics unit. JUDGE ZANE Those deputies are forced to bring those prisoners back to jail where they just sit�"on hold. . . . acting out in jail because they need medication. . . . and who knows what else . . . while ya’ll are over here on cruise control. DR. DITHER (defensive, whiny) I must respectively disagree, Judge. JUDGE ZANE We should be treating these mentally ill patients in hospitals, not in jails. Let me be frank, doctor. After hearing the news I went to the internet and pulled an earlier federal inspection report on Mental Central.
DR. DITHER Oh, you mean the one when the federal government sent those fifteen inspectors in eight or nine vans?pla to investigate some anonymous complaint. If you ask me that was nothing but a witch hunt! JUDGE ZANE I don’t care if it was an Easter egg hunt, doctor. They found egregious conditions, which the media quoted this morning. All those articles about questionable deaths in these State hospitals are not helping either. (looks at her watch) What in the world is taking Lt. Wait so long? (starts to read files and take notes �" ignoring Dither) DR. DITHER I think we fixed those problems back then and we’ll get these new sanctions behind us with our new Plan of Correction. Why don’t you talk with Mr. Zipp? He’s in a much better position to discuss . . . JUDGE ZANE Just report to him what I discussed today.
LT. WAIT (ENTERS -returns with Beauty Boots�"motions her to stand beside Dither, who is standing in front of judge) BEAUTY (stands beside Dr. Dither) LT. WAIT Sorry, Judge. There was a mix-up �" I had to find her . . . she wasn’t on the unit. JUDGE ZANE (irritated) Present the case, please, Dr. Dither. (checks watch) I’ve already missed lunch. (looks over at Lt. Wait) DR. DITHER Uh, your honor, we haven’t quite completed our examination. Also, her husband was supposed to attend her hearing today. We just learned this morning that Mr. Hud, our head social worker, failed to notify him him. BEAUTY (looks at Dither, suddenly shocked--hands suddenly cover her mouth) JUDGE ZANE (interrupts, holds open file, reading) Dr. Dither, is this just another way overdue case . . .? DR. DITHER (hedges) Well, uh . . . I wouldn’t exactly say that, your honor, uh . . . JUDGE ZANE What exactly do you say, doctor? She’s been here a few weeks already (studying file). Did some new psychiatrist on staff complete her admission notes? This is strange. BEAUTY (shocked at amount of time passed, presses /covers mouth with fingers) DR. DITHER No. Why? JUDGE ZANE (pushing file so he can look too--points) Her admitting doctor, a Dr. Gillmore, wrote that her hospital discharge home should be in seven days. (flips pages--indignant). A doctor here can’t make that discharge decision for the court�"not for a Forensics patient whose committed a crime. DR. DITHER Right. I can’t believe that Dr. Gillmore would . . . JUDGE ZANE (interrupts) This patient has to be tried in a court of law . . . if and when this hospital finds she is sane enough to stand trial. (flips pages) DR. DITHER (nervous) Right, right! I’m sure we can correct . . .
DR. ZANE But, (flips pages in file) I don’t seem to find where a court ever ordered her admitted here. What was her alleged crime? BEAUTY (snaps head to stare at doctor--frowning, fearful ) DR. DITHER (thumbing through Beauty’s medical chart) Uh, it’s been a while since I read her medical chart . . . hmmm. . . Let’s see. These pages only quote her husband who brought her to our Admissions Office. BEAUTY (head down)
JUDGE ZANE (more impatient) Why has this woman been allowed to languish in this much-needed Forensic bed? BEAUTY (head snaps up --fearful-places both hands on each cheek)
DR. DITHER I don’t know but I think you’re on to something, your honor. JUDGE ZANE Well, you would agree that there had to be a charge of a crime of some sort … since she was admitted to the hospital’s Forensics Unit? BEAUTY (surprised, head turns to doctor) DR. DITHER (flips pages of chart) The criminal charges form does seem to be missing from her chart. I . . . I . . . I don’t understand what could have . . . but she’s been on our Forensics unit for a while now . . . she must’ve been arrested at some point . . . (turning pages)
BEAUTY (shocked reaction�"fidgets, wrings hands, hands to lips ,face) JUDGE ZANE (disgusted) Dr. Dither, must I remind you that we can not legally keep this patient on Forensics with no proof of her ever being arrested for some crime? Did the police or sheriff deputy bring her here? DR. DITHER Well . . . actually. . . Judge . . . your honor . . . says here it was her husband who brought her in . . JUDGE ZANE Excuse me! Says what? (sighs) Dr. Dither, was this woman using drugs BEAUTY (stares at doctor closely for his response, shows relief after hearing him) DR. DITHERS (flips pages) Her husband denied she abused drugs of any kind. Her admission urine drug screen was also negative. JUDGE ZANE She is not in the correct adult bed. I desperately need this Forensics bed so I’m approving her immediate transfer to . . .
BEAUTY (head up �"shows relief, body language positive) DR. DITHER (interrupts, pleads) Oh, Judge, please wait. I’m sure the court order paperwork has just been misfiled. Our medical records supervisor, uh, uh Zora, Zora Chance. . . she’s new . . . We would’ve never put her on our Forensics unit without a court order. Your honor . . . I do apologize. JUDGE ZANE I need this bed. You find some place on the regular adult mental units to move her. BEAUTY (head bowed, hands crossed against her chest, heart) DR. DITHER (steps closer, leans towards judge�" palms on desk�"threatening) Judge, let me remind you before we . . . before you do anything rash. We . . . you . . . wouldn’t want something to happen to her if you ordered her moved there and later learn she’s committed some horrid crime, or worse, she dies. What with all her documents missing. . . . If that should hit the media right now, exposing your decision . . . JUDGE ZANE (slumps in chair- waits a beat) I see your point, doctor. (sighs). You realize that our jails and prisons are fast becoming the new mental institutions. DR. DITHER I do . . . JUDGE ZANE (sighs�"looks at watch�"hurried tone ) I’m already late. Let’s get on with this hearing. I needed at least four beds when I walked in here. I’m batting zero so far. (looks down, opens file as she speaks to Beauty) Please state your full name for the record, Miss. BEAUTY (silence)
JUDGE ZANE (looks up when she hears no response) Miss, please state your full name for the court hearing. BEAUTY (silence, stares straight ahead)
JUDGE ZANE (annoyed) Where is your interpreter, Dr. Dither? I’ve told the hospital before that by law ya’ll must bring one to the hearing if your patients are non-English speaking or deaf.
DR. DITHER Uh . . . if I may . . . This is Ms. Beauty Boots. Judge, she’s mute and . . . JUDGE (interrupts) She can’t talk? You didn’t mention that. Can she hear? DR. DITHER Well, actually, Judge, she can talk . . . and hear . . . and she speaks English, but, she’s what we call selectively mute�"we think due to some trauma . . . or due to her mental illness. Anyway, she sort of picks and chooses when she’ll talk. JUDGE ZANE Picks and chooses?! DR. DITHER Yes, Judge. BEAUTY (begins to self-caress�"stroking her neck, arms, chest, hair, crotch area, etc.�"continues until judge directs Lt. Wait to move her.)
JUDGE ZANE Doctor! What is she doing? DR. DITHER We believe she is responding to internal stimuli, Judge Zane. JUDGE ZANE Explain that to this administrative hearing. DR. DITHER It means she may be hearing voices in her head . . . they may be even telling her not to talk . . . to caress herself . . . Maybe some mental trauma . . .or maybe the medication. . . JUDGE ZANE Maybe! Ya’ll don’t know?. . . Even after all this time? (anger- mocking) Why can’t your top-notch facility at least prevent or stop that . . . that behavior? DR. DITHER (whiny ) Well, uh . . . this is her first admission to a mental institution. The other patients’ or their behaviors may be frightening to her. The general public rarely gets to see inside the walls of such places. Every new patient reacts to this environment in some way�"fighting, pacing, cursing, withdrawing, or simply staring into space. We just don’t feel we have really addressed all of Ms. Beauty’s symptoms well enough in the short time we’ve had. JUDGE ZANE Doctor, it looks to me you’ve had more than adequate time to do something for her. DR. DITHER (pleads) Judge, what has slowed us down in diagnosing her is she’ll talk to the other patients or the nursing staff, but speaks not a single word to our psychiatrists or psychologists. JUDGE ZANE She’s had almost a month of psychiatric care. Yet your indecision is preventing me sending her to a jail cell or anywhere else.
BEAUTY (body shaking uncontrollably)
DR. DITHER Judge, we want to correctly diagnose her . . .treat her . . . try some new medications . . . BEAUTY (again starts self-caressing- adds slow motion head rolls)
JUDGE ZANE Lt. Wait, please wait with Ms. Boots over there. (points to chair at the side of the room). I can’t concentrate with her doing that. And, you stay over there with her. LT. WAIT (takes Beauty by the elbow, leads her to a chair.) Come with me, Ms. Beauty.
BEAUTY (self-caressing stops, hugs herself, rocks back and forth) JUDGE ZANE (reads file a few seconds, sighs loudly) Dr. Dither, you get her treated so she’s ready to stand trial�"if there’s even been a crime. Get her chart corrected. Hear me good. . . you have three weeks. DR. DITHER (grateful, relieved) Oh, thank you, thank you Judge. (goes over to get Beauty, pulls her up to go with him) BEAUTY (shoulders shaking, screams, yells, fights, kicks off Dither, falls to floor) NOOOO! AHHHHH! NOOOO! AHHHHH! (continues screaming, kicking, fighting) LT. WAIT (grabs phone on table, calmly calls code) BLUE CODE. BLUE CODE�"F -2 Conference Room. BLUE CODE; F -2 Conference Room! (rushes over to help Dither) NURSE KANDI, J-ROD, LT. WAIT (ENTER-rush in with emergency cart, Kandi gives Beauty an injection) DITHER Sorry, Judge. I need to get her restrained and sedated right away.
LT. WAIT, DR. DITHER, J-ROD, NURSE KANDI (EXIT- men pick up and carry Beauty out, Nurse Kandi follows )
(END OF SCENE _ LIGHTS DOWN )
ACT III-3_ DAYROOM BEAUTY'S RESTRAINED, SECLUDED in 'BUBBLE WINDOW' ROOM - within Dayroom
STUDENT NURSE-- ENTERS- From the Dayroom she walks to and unlocks the seclusion room �"which is the Bubble Window Room. She leaves door wide open. Removes restraints from Beauty’s arms and ankles. STUDENT NURSE Ms. Beauty. Are you awake yet? Open your eyes, honey. I took the restraints off your wrists and ankles. BEAUTY (Eyes closed, she rubs her wrists )
STUDENT NURSE Boy! You really put up a fight with Dr. Dither and Lt. Wait in your hearing. Nurse Kandi had to give you a sedative to calm you. Come on and open your eyes for me. (lifts her eyelids--checks her pupils) That’s good. Let me help you sit up so I can take your blood pressure. (takes it; writes on clipboard). Okay, you can come on out in Dayroom if you like. Or go out in the Fenced Area with the other patients. STUDENT NURSE- returns to the Nurse's station - BEAUTY (appears slightly groggy, stumbles out of room, looks around, tries to hurry to phone booth, falls, crawls across floor to booth, stands, pulls paper from under her wig, checks paper as she dials Chet) [[TELEPHONE ANSWER MACHINE MESSAGE]] Hello. Chet, here. Please leave a message at the sound of the tone.
BEAUTY (almost hysterical) Chet, Chet! Where are you today?!! It’s Beauty, I mean, it’s . . . Mavis Kirk, Kirk . . . me! I can’t remember my own name. Where were you today? Was it today? I think it was today. The hearing . . . for my . . . uh. . . discharge. You didn’t come! Some kinda’ administrative court judge. She said I . . . I’m on the wrong unit! Chet, did you hear me: (yells) I’m on wrong damn unit! Not that short stay adult mental . . . not that unit that Zora said! I’m on a Forensics Unit. For mentally ill people who got put in jail. For crimes! Chet! (shouts) I’m with crazy people who committed crimes because they were crazy . . . the criminally insane! (calms down) Shots! Chet, they gave me drugs. Drugs are making me soooo sick. (yells) Why won’t you come, Chet? That judge said I”ve been in here a month! Is that true, Chet? A whole month?! (yells) I can’t leave until she says so. (yells) Then I'll go to jail! All my paperwork is mixed up, lost. This must be how all those patients died in here! They're just like Zora said: Incompetent!! The psychiatrist in my hearing . . . Dither . . . he was a bungling, inept, idiot. . . Oooh, God! (takes a long deep breath, calms herself) You’ve got to come help me . . . help me explain everything. Get me a lawyer! I need a real doctor! Have the drugs made me forget so much time has passed? (voice cracking) I must be losing my . . . NO! NO! I dare not say the word. (tearful) Why have you and Zora left me? Abandoned me. Like all the rest of the patients’ families and friends. I’m sooo scared I’m going to die in here and no one . . . [[TELEPHONE VOICE MESSAGE ]] (voice message interrupts Beauty) I’m sorry this voice mail box is now full ) BEAUTY (bangs phone receiver in frustration-screams) NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! (she drops telephone receiver�"it dangles�"she stumbles from telephone booth) (SPOTLIGHT follows her to center of stage ) BEAUTY (“SOLO”--again falls to her knees�"adds a gut wrenching primal scream;�"begins to hallucinate) AHHHHHHH!!!!! NO! NO! NO! -- I am going to die! Like all the others in here! (lectures herself-tone is calm, suddenly clear) Why did I ever do this? How stupid I was. Not listening to Zora's danger warnings? Chet loves me for me. How selfish I was; he just wanted to get married. What if I have lost my mind? Will I get it back? Of course, you can silly! (laughs hysterically) I only wanted to find out why the patients �"why they were dying in here�" Now they are trying to kill me with the drugs . . . Which one killed them? How long does it take to die from these drugs. (yells) I don’t want to die in here. (stands--looks upward-- wraps her arms around herself �" prays) Hail Mary, Full of Grace . . .The Lord is with thee . . . blessed art thou among women and . . . and, and, can't remember . . . (runs to door) What? Whose out there? Yes! Come in! Come in! (yells) Chet Chet Chet!! Is it you? Please come in and get me! No one’s there! Oh, somebody, help me!
[ Her tone suddendly and completely changes to calm, listening�"she begins to lose her hold on reality at this point�"speaks in professional tone, interviews herself�"answers herself in a different voice) ] BEAUTY • Is this how it happens? Well, I’m not sure. • How does one lose their mind, professor? We’re not sure. • Tell me how patients describe it feels to lose it? They can’t describe it. • Do you predict a cure anytime soon? Our newest drugs can only help a few. grabs her head as if in pain �" tone fearful) Stop it! I can’t think! I’m so scared. Who am I now? Where is Mavis? (calls out) Mavis? Mavis Kirkpatrick! I don’t know me anymore. I don’t want to die in here sits on floor close to phone booth -hears voices) What? What’d you say? I know it. I said I know it.(yells) Shhh. Be quiet! I know that I have a job to do? Write a story. What did you say? yells�"holds ears) Please shut up talking to me! �" (jumps up) I’ve got to get out of here! (hits on unit door) Who’s that out there? Oh, I know all of you. (holds her ears and head�"happy, delirious) Why yes! I remember all of you. I know you’re all just ghosts now. All dead. happy) Did all of you come to get me? Yes, yes! I want to go see the beautiful light . . . (crying, grabs head) Stop! Stop saying that about the beautiful light! No! I don’t want to see it!! Shut up! (rests her head for 1-2 beats, then her tone changes to forceful, strong�" becomes determined I won’t let them kill me; I’ll kill myself first. How hard is it to commit suicide? Can’t be that hard. (looks around for items) Damn. Have they hidden everything from me? No knives, no guns no rope. Who can help me? I need paper for a letter. Zora! I have to get to Zora�"she’ll help me. I’ll write Zora a letter! (runs to bookcase tears paper from back of books --- (grabs a Patients’Rights poster from wall.) What’s this? (sits in Phone Booth, reads it) Patients’ Rights? No one told me this before. Beauty falls asleep again. [ LIGHTS DIMMED ]
[LIGHTS UP] STUDENT NURSE (ENTERS �" sees Beauty in phone booth; wakes her) Ms. Beauty, wake up. Please get up . . . so you can take your medicine (helps her to a chair at table). Now you don’t wanna’ have to go back in the seclusion room again (holds out cup of pills) so please take your sedative. The food cart will be here in a few minutes. You need to eat and drink something. BEAUTY (pushes her hand away, ) No more pills! (yawns 2-3 times) I can’t wake up now! Look, Miss. (holds out Patients' Rights poster) I found this ‘Patient Rights’ poster�"buried under the menus on the bulletin board. (points to wall ) It says I . . . that patients, can refuse medication if they choose. (with determination) Starting today . . . I choose. STUDENT NURSE Alright, but you know I must put a note on your chart �" so your doctor will know. They might start you on injections if you keep refusing you know. BEAUTY (adamant) I'm not taking anymore of anything else . . . these drugs must be why patients get worse and die in here.
STUDENT NURSE I hope you’ll start talking to the doctors soon, Ms. Beauty. They think you’re not getting better ‘cause you won’t talk to them. You wanna’ leave here soon don’t you? BEAUTY In the worst way. I don’t want to die in here like over a hundred others. (looks around making sure they’re alone) Listen, Nurse, I desperately need your help. (writes on a scrap of paper) Please call this woman (hands nurse a scrap of paper). She’s listed in the white pages. Her name's Zora . . . Zora Chance. (grabs and holds on to nurse’s arm) Tell her Mavis is dying in here. STUDENT NURSE (pulls arm away) You’re hurting me. Dying?! Why would she believe such a lie�"you are not dying and your name is Beauty, not Mavis?
BEAUTY ( desperate tone �" conspiratorial) She’ll believe you if you tell her the one thing that only Zora Chance and I know. STUDENT NURSE Oh, the voices are really talking to you . . . BEAUTY No voices! Please listen to me! The man who brought me to the Admissions Area was not really my husband. We are both newspaper reporters. I lied to sneak inside Mental Central to find out why so many patients die here. Don’t you remember me? You even helped admit me? I must talk to Zora Chance--not these so-called doctors. STUDENT NURSE Nooo, (somewhat puzzled) I don’t remember . . . I’ll check on you a little later, before I go off duty. (EXITS �" to door to nurse’s station) BEAUTY (writing notes on scraps of paper�"does not hear Leo enter from a bedroom) LEO (ENTERS- Dayroom from a bedroom, sees Beauty writing�"he watches her 2-3 beats) Beauty! Beauty! Beauty! Girl, you better stop acting up. After one trip to the Bubble Window room they usually keep giving you drugs so you don’t make trouble again. (offers her food) Here, eat this. Real blueberry pastry. I snuck some from the staff break room. They take a break, Leo takes a break. (laughs) BEAUTY (she is very venerable right now to any kindness; picks up Patient Rights poster) No thanks. (begins to cry) LEO (walks over to her�"puts pastry down for her anyway) Why you cryin'? You writin' a letter to your husband? Ya’ Lover? Ya’ Mama? Come on out to the Cage later�"I overheard something real interesting . . . BEAUTY (interrupts ) That judge wouldn’t let me out! I’m on the wrong unit but she’s still keeping me here. LEO Bet it was Judge Zane! She’s been holding me up for years ‘cause she’s in love with me. I keep asking for a male judge. BEAUTY (anxiety visibly building) My situation is not the same as yours, Leo! LEO (sarcastic) Is that right? Why’s your case so special? (a couple beats) Now I’m real attracted to a good looking woman like you. But tell me somethin', Beauty. (playfully taunting) Why a woman judge thinks you’re so special. She’s in love with me. Is she in love with you, too? I mean you do a lot of . . . well, you know . . . (rubs his body sensually--laughs) BEAUTY What? No! Nothing like that! (referring to her self caressing) I’m embarrassed the way the drugs make me act like that in here. That judge said my chart had a lot of missing paper work. LEO (breaks off pastry and puts it to her lips) BEAUTY (she opens her mouth) Force feeding, huh? Is this the method you use around here to woo the ladies? (laughs) LEO (sincere) Ya' got a nice laugh, you know . . . I could get addicted to it. Well, me and all the rest of the men in here. I’d ask you to just save it . . . just for me. Could you do that? BEAUTY (she waits a beat, looks at him a beat) My laugh? Sure. I think that’s doable. But, tell me. Does Nurse Kandi save hers for you, too? LEO You probe a man real deep don’t you? BEAUTY And you’ve mastered the art of avoidance haven’t you? LEO (he sits) There’s just something about you. Can’t exactly describe it. Watching you writing just now. Made me feel like I was someplace else. That I had walked into my own place. My woman was there. . . waiting for me. That we were someplace else, anyplace but in here. Not locked up. You made me feel that. Something I ain't never felt really�"feeling free . . . with a woman. Free just to talk . . . and she talk back to me. That's some kind of power you got. To make a man feel this way.
BEAUTY (1-2 beats) Thanks. . . . nobody’s ever said anything like that to me ... sayin' I have power. (softly) That's good to hear, important . . . for me to hear, especially right now, Leo. Thank you. LEO (holds up both palms). Hey, no need to thank me. (up beat�" ashamed he’s expressed his feelings) I’m gonna’ look out for you. BEAUTY (voice matches his lighten mood) No strings attached? LEO You drive a hard bargain - I’m not promisin' you that, pretty lady. BEAUTY (serious again) Leo, I know I’m mentally fragile right now. Just don't you forget that whatever I say or do in here . . . well, I'm on these drugs. LEO Hey, we'll just let that be your out: That the drugs are doing a real number on you right now. Not Trustee Leo. (laughs) ‘Cause you know not what you say. ( laughs- a beat, -becomes pensive) Seriously, I remember it was pretty rough when I first got here, too. So, Beauty, I can live with that what you just said. (laughs, playfully kisses her hand) Sealed it with a kiss. (heads for “The Cage” door) BEAUTY (she calls to him . . .) Leo! One favor. Don’t let them kill me like they did all those others. Can you do that? (anxiety showing again)
LEO Just trust the Trustee. (slaps his chest) (EXITS to Cage/Fenced Area) (END OF SCENE--LIGHTS BLACK) ACT III-4_ (ZORA COMES ) DAYROOM -- A few days later . . . HATTIE, LILLY, GREEN, HECTOR, TIGGNER Lilly & TIGGNER (watching TV, Hattie hums & plays chords on portable piano from time to time, Hector & Green are playing checkers)
BEAUTY (sitting in the phone booth writing notes) STUDENT NURSE (ENTERS --Dayroom from Conference Room door�"she’s in street clothes�"quietly tips in Dayroom; pulls Beauty from phone booth over to door of Conference Room) BEAUTY (puzzled) Miss, what . . .? STUDENT NURSE (puts index finger to her lips) Shhhh. Ms. Beauty. Go in the Conference room. Hurry! I’ll guard the door . . . just in case. (closes door) BEAUTY (ENTERS - Conf. Rm -- shouts) Zora! (runs to hug her) Oh, Zora, you came! ZORA (touches Beauty's wig, laughs) Mavis, is it really you under there? Let’s sit down. You look like you’ve been through hell. BEAUTY Yes, yes, it’s me. Broken into tiny little pieces. But Zora, why didn’t you come? Where’s Chet? Zora, I‘ve been trying to get out of this hell hole. I’ve been calling and calling Chet, leaving him messages�"for so long at his home�"like we planned. (angry) He never called me back . . . didn’t come to my hearing . . . nothing! ZORA Slow down. We don’t have much time, so listen. Remember that money problem the State found itself in after that inspection? Well, financially, things got real bad, real fast. I was reassigned at the hospital, then out-stationed to a communiry group home-- fifty miles away. Finally, the governor ordered a RIF�"a reduction in force�"and the hospital closed the group home. I was let go under that RIF�"fired really. My master keys and security clearance�"gone. I’ve been so worried about you . . ..
BEAUTY (interrupts�"stands up, pacing) Fired! Oh my god! You’ve lost your job because you’ve been telling, been helping us . . .
ZORA Hush now! We can talk about that later. BEAUTY I’m so sorry, Zora. ZORA I’m fine. Really, I am. Listen. When Chet and I met that same day he got you admitted I told him they’d put you on the wrong unit. I think he panicked and just ‘lost it’. BEAUTY I’ve been calling and calling Chet, leaving him messages. (angry). . . he didn’t come to my hearing . . . nothing! I didn’t tell you before,--we’re even engaged! I shoulda’ told you but I figured you wouldn’t help me script this, this, , . . (confidential tone) well, you know . . . ZORA He told me, Mavis. I think he panicked because he saw his future wife in more danger than he could imagine after I told him about this Forensic unit. BEAUTY Poor, Chet. (sighs heavily, starts to cry�"wipes eyes) It’s all my fault. ZORA I couldn’t get him to return my calls either. It was as if he just disappeared�"off the planet. It was not until yesterday I was able to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Thank goodness that Student Nurse called and snuck me in to see you! BEAUTY (pacing) With all the drugs they plowed into me, I thought the both of you had abandoned me. ZORA (goes to Mavis, makes her sit�"takes both of her hands) Mavis, I hate to be the one to tell you but I have some bad news. It was reported on the local TV news Chet was arrested�"soon after you were admitted. BEAUTY Arrested? In jail?! But, why? ZORA He’s been in jail all this time�"while you were here. That’s why you and I couldn’t reach him. (stands, paces, angry) He did a foolish, really risky thing. The news interviewed some new hospital employee who claimed a man walked up behind her at this unit’s security door. BEAUTY So, that was Chet! ZORA Said she couldn’t get her key to work. She said the man seemed official enough, had on a badge and all, and that he helped her unlock the door. Said he just walked right in with her so she didn’t think anything more about it. Anyway, the news said the man hid in a housekeepers supply closet. Prob’ly waiting for the 11 p.m. shift change. BEAUTY How’d he get caught? ZORA About mid-night, evidently somebody spotted him tippin’ around a hallway where nobody should’ve been. The hospital police had Chet arrested on the spot. My guess is Chet’s only ID was a phony badge. Probably refused to tell his name. BEAUTY Oh, no! Don't the hospital police carry loaded weapons? ZORA Yes and no . . . but that's another story. Listen, the media didn’t even identify Chet as being a local newspaper reporter ‘til two days ago. Guess the newspaper was trying to avoid legal problems since he was caught breaking into a State mental facility. Anyway, Chet refused to say why he broke in. He’s being held without bail because they think he’s some kinda’ high risk to the State �"according to the news. BEAUTY That’s incredible! He did that for me. Unbelievable, really! He never heard any of my messages because we’ve both been locked up . . . (laughs) separate but equal . ZORA The Student Nurse saw the photo of Chet on TV and something you said triggered her memory. That when she realized you’d told her the truth. Thankfully, she called me. BEAUTY (frantic) Is he alright? Is he still in jail? ZORA Yes, he’s still there. He’s broken state and federal laws and may be they think he is mentally unstable since he’s refusing to say why he broke into the hospital. But, yes, on television he looked okay to me when they showed him at that court appearance. BEAUTY I got caught up, too. All I could see was ‘get in, get the story, get out’ ZORA Now that I know where he is I will contact him and let him know about you, too. I know he’s worried. BEAUTY I guess anything that can go wrong will go wrong, huh?
ZORA Yep, Murphy’s law is always lurking. BEAUTY (worried and desperate) Zora, do I have a chance in hell of getting out of here anytime soon? ZORA I’ve been racking my brain for a way get you out of here. I think I may have come up with something that’ll work. BEAUTY (excited) Tell me! ZORA (voice very quiet) You just run away. (Reaching out and holds Beauty's face between both her hands) Did you hear me, Mavis? I said, ----you . . . . just . . . run . . . . away! BEAUTY (two �"three beats -- .upset, pulls away from Zora; stands, places palms on table, leans over at Zora) . . . That’s not funny, Zora. Just run away!? I can’t ‘just run away’. Escape!
ZORA Yes, you can! Patients at Mental Central run off all the time. I gave you and Chet those AWOL annual statistics. Remember? Patients wait for the staff to drop their guard, get distracted, or even fall asleep. Patients don’t just take off without thought. They plan for the right opportunity. BEAUTY You’re serious, aren’t you? ZORA Yes! And, I think I know just the right opportunity for you. First thing in the morning, you order a white T-shirt and some dark-colored gym shorts. From the hospital’s clothing bank. BEAUTY But, how will that help . . . ZORA (interrupts Beauty) Mavis, just listen. The hospital has a written agreement with a local college. They can use Mental Central’s forty-or-so acres for track and field runners to practice every year for a spring tournament. BEAUTY That’s legal? ZORA No! Not legal! But since when did ‘legal’ matter at Mental Central? Those students are running past patients being escorted from building-to-building. So, the Tournament violates federal patient privacy laws for mental institutions. Once a co-worker and I questioned that in a staff meeting with Mr. Zipp. We got ignored. BEAUTY (stands, paces, babbles -laughs, nervously) If only I'd get so lucky -- what if somebody recognized me and blabbed!
ZORA Mavis, pay attention! Now, the runners have already started practicing their running. You can see ‘em out of the Unit windows. Everyone �"patients and staff--is used to seeing them practicing. BEAUTY (looks out of a window) So, that's why all those little white flags were stuck all over the grounds last week. ZORA When your Unit walks to the gym keep an eye on the paths the practicing runners take. They’re marked with flags. On final competition day, the hospital grounds will be crowded with the runners’ families and friends , , , lots of buses and cars. That’s the day you run. Just hang back as you all walk to the gym, then slip away. BEAUTY (repeats, hands on her chest) Hang back. Slip away. Hang back. Slip away. ZORA Jog toward the closest group of runners. You yank off that wig�"staff and patients won't know you without the wig. Dash towards that front gate. And, then girl, you run like you’re tryin’ to win that race! BEAUTY But, what if I get caught? (stands) I don’t want to get in more trouble, Zora.
ZORA (stands, grabs both her shoulders) Mavis, you’re in Mental Central. Tell me who’ll be paying attention to what’s going on around them? Staff Incompetence, remember? BEAUTY (hesitant, sighs) Oh. Right. I’ve sure experienced that personally for a month. ZORA It’s your decision. But, catch you? Not likely. They barely keep real patients from running away, plus the hospital police have a low recapture rate. Look at it this way. If you decide to run, their incompetence works in your favor. BEAUTY ( anxious, she suddenly begins to self-caress) Oh, Zora, look at what has happened to me. (suddenly sees the light) This place will kill me, or have me killin’ myself! I have no other choice! I’m running! ZORA Good! Just focus on who you are! You’re Mavis Kirkpatrick, and Mavis Kirkpatrick did NOT commit any crime. Mavis Kirkpatrick is NOT insane! Beauty Boots does not exist. You made her up! Do you understand that? What do you, Mavis Kirkpatrick, have to lose by running for your life? BEAUTY (jumps up) Zora, you’re brilliant! What a simple solution�"Mavis can just run away. I guess I really became Beauty. ZORA (laughs) Well, the medications sure didn’t help. (looks at her watch) That Student Nurse probably needs to leave so I’d better go. Remember, just get outside the gate and you’re home free. Keep running at least a few blocks and try to find a bus�"any bus�"and hop on. (takes money, paper from her purse). After that . . . well, here’s some cab money, my phone number, and home address. The staff probably won’t miss you until bed check. BEAUTY (laughs) Well, they will be checking for a woman who doesn’t exist! I’ll get to Chet soon as I can. (hugs Zora) You’ve saved my life, Zora. I hope you know that. [END OF SCENE] ACT III-5__ (TRUST THE TRUSTEE?) In Fenced Area (“The Cage”)
HATTIE, LILLY, BEAUTY, GREEN, TIGGNER, HECTOR, SMART (in the ‘CAGE’, sitting or standing around table)
PATIENT ENSEMBLE (remain on periphery of Fenced Area; pacing, shooting basketballs, smoking) MS. HATTIE (accusatory- reaches across table taps Beauty’s arm) Ms. Beauty, I saw you talkin’ with that Student Nurse.…. during visiting hours. What’d she want? That girl’s up to some devilment . . . sneaking back in here wearin’ her street clothes.
MS. LILLY She came by? Do tell! To think I invited her to visit my purty (pretty) zebras and giraffes! Never darkened my door to see them! Rude, rude. Just rude! BEAUTY Ms. Lilly, Ms. Hattie . . . you see, the Student Nurse was just keeping a very important promise she made to me. She helped me find . . . uh, she brought a friend I really, really needed to see. MS. HATTIE Well, you coulda’ done somethin’ about your hair! Having a visitor. . . . that wig lookin’ like the cat’s been suckin’ on it! GAMBLING GREEN I been noticin’ you, Ms. Beauty. Can’t say exactly what’s diff’rent. (circles Beauty checking her up and down, looking for ‘changes in her’) But seems to me you’ been actin’ like a whole ‘nother person since they secluded you! You’ve changed, Ms. Beauty.
BEAUTY I hope so, Mr. Green. (as though speaking to herself) I’m countin’ on that other person coming on out real soon. HATTIE (begins to sing & play a gospel song on portable piano)
LEO (ENTERS ‘The Cage �"rushes in’) Hey! Listen, I got something important to tell ya’ll. Today’s first chance I get to talk to everybody. (motions them closer) Before J-Rod gets back. Bad news, ya’ll. Real bad news. Look. I’m paintin’ the conference room hallway the other day, right? An’ I overhear Mr. Zipp’s staff meetin’. The Governor’s sending a special team of federal government inspectors to check this place out real soon. If Mr. Zipp and the staff don’t fix all the stuff those State inspectors found wrong, the governor’s closing this place down! SMART (loud, disgusted,) Je-zus! There you go, Leo! Wasting our time with your exaggerations again. I’m sick and tired of ‘em. Remember last December, ya'll? When Leo eavesdropped on one of Zipp’s staff meetings? Told us a hundred sheriffs and deputies�"local and from down south Georgia�"were coming to the hospital’s annual holiday parade. Gonna’ deliver fruit basket as our Christmas gifts, you said, Leo. Not a pear nor apple did we get. GAMBLING GREEN Now Smart’s tellin’ the truth, Leo. We even ate up our own supply, thinkin’ we’d be gettin' a bunch more fruit in those gift baskets. Let’s just say our Christmas communion wine inventory was a whole lot lower than it shoulda’ been. MS. LILLY Now, Trustee Leo, you do a good job for us, but poor Ms. Hattie waited . . . she waited, and waited for that dee-licious fruit. MR. TIGGNER (sing-song�"brogue) Get the fruit, buy the fruit-- Publix. Food Lion, Kroger; Get the fruit, buy the fruit �" Fresh fruit at McTignner’s Market!, Winn Dixie Piggly Wiggly, get the fruit, Ingles, Red Food Store . . . LEO (shouts) Forget the fruit! (softens tone) Sorry, Mr. Tiggner. But, ya’ll need to hear what I’m trying . . . SMART We can’t trust you, man. That extra fruit would’ve doubled our Christmas communion wine supply. HATTIE Was I going to have a headache for Christmas, Mr. Smart? (laughs) SMART (laughing) Hattie, we all woulda’ kept Nurse Kandi busy giving all us your BC Headache powders if Leo had not lied. GAMBLING GREEN And, if they hadn’t changed the locks on all the doors after that guy on the other unit escaped through his bedroom ceiling vent, I coulda’ slipped outta here an’ back inside wit’ my own keys and extra fruit! Now we ain’t mad at ya’, Leo, but you did put a real damper on our Christmas spirit. LEO (upset, raises his voice) We’d just better hope we’re still living at Mental Central next Christmas. We could get kicked outta’ here if Zipp and his crew can’t get this place in shape. And from what I heard we need a Christmas miracle. SMART (waves his hand) OK, man, get on with it. Be quick. I need to check on my stock portfolio. I made over $9, 000 . . . day trading online. That new nurse aide, Rosemary. . . who Nurse Kandi’s got watching me whenever I’m on the computer. . . she gave me $75 under the table to invest. The stock I picked for her . . . it went up forty dollars a share. She made $500 in one day. GAMBLING GREEN Damn! I was in the wrong business. Ducking and dodging the cops running illegal numbers. HECTOR $500! Oooo Weee!. Law school is probably out for me now. Maybe I could be a stock trader! That’s it! That’s my new job. LEO In your dreams, Smart. That Rosemary will never see a dime and you know it. SMART I know you’re a windbag, Leo. LEO Smart, I knew you wouldn’t believe me. So, I brought proof. (gives Smart a sheet of paper from his pocket) Here. These are the minutes from Mr.Zipp’s meetin’. SMART (Smart holds the page only inches from his eyes) HECTOR Smart, you’re about blind from reading those tiny numbers on the stock page. I change my mind. I don’t wanna’ job make me go blind.
BEAUTY I think you do need glasses, Mr. Smart. Let me take a look, please. (takes paper from Smart) Well, it’s certainly from the meeting. And looks like …
LEO (impatient tone) Tell’um, Beauty . They’re going to run up us out of here! GAMBLING GREEN (takes position to read over Beauty’s shoulder ) BEAUTY According to this, what Leo says is true. (she begins openly taking notes from minutes�"for the rest of meeting) SMART When you stole these minutes off Zipp’s computer, Leo, you committed another crime. You’re never gettin' outta here! I know what I’m talking about. When I hacked into my boss’ computer … just to borrow a coupla’ million dollars for a few months … I woulda’ paid it back once I got my Used Body Organs Company shares on the stock exchange, (pounds table with his fist) But they threw me in here! (folds his arms across his chest to show he is finished) LEO (shocked at what Smart is saying) What?! Finally told on yourself, huh, Smart! So the cops caught you with dead body parts! (shaking his head.) I don’t even want to know how you got livers n’ hearts up in your crib, man. SMART (mocking Leo) It’s not so hard. Don’t most folks get buried with their organs? Surely you knew that, Mr. Trustee. LEO Robbing graves, too?! Damn! Smart, your fifteen minutes of fame must have run into overtime. SMART I’ve made thousands in the stock market. But you? You’ll need more money than I ever made to get outta’ here. Once you get caught for breakin’ into Zipp’s State computer! LEO (bragging) Looka’ here, Smart. Nurse Kandi made me these copies. (laughs, slaps his chest.) Ya’ll know I can sweet-talk Nurse Kandi into anything SMART Liar! And, just for the record, Americans bought over three thousand shares of my used body parts stock. Intelligent folks see the value in havin’ an extra organ or two around. For emergencies. LEO Is that a fact?! (laughs) Well, tell me who wants grandma’s kidneys in the refrigerator, in a jar, ‘long side the eggs, bacon and butter? HECTOR My military years didn’t teach me about no stocks, Smart, but I know the law. If what Miss Beauty said is on that paper is for real, we could all end up in the penitentiary. SMART Beauty here, didn’t say for sure the word penitentiary was on that paper. LEO If they shut down Mental Central, Hector’s right. It’s off to the pen. Courts say we committed crimes. You think they’ll grin and say, “OK everybody. Y’all can go on home now” … just cause they close up this institution? Naw, man. We’ll go where criminals go in the first place: Prison. They sure ain’t got no holler for us there. SMART Leo, your paranoia’s kicking in big time. Suspecting the lint in your pocket is out to get ‘cha! (serious) They’d just ship us off to a different Forensic hospital. One state hospital’s same as another if you ask me. LEO (raises voice) Uh, newsflash, Smart! Zipp talked about how overcrowded the other forensic hospitals are. But, listen to this. Right before the new inspectors come, Mr. Zipp is sending some of Mental Central’s worse patients on a so called field trip! Drop ‘em off at other hospitals until the inspectors leave. Mr. Zipp thinks his staff can trick the inspectors into believing Mental Central is up to snuff.
BEAUTY Unless, now, there’s a way to leak information to those new inspectors before they come . . . tell ’em how folks running Mental Central are planning to cover-up . . . not doing their jobs . . . . SMART Beauty didn’t read none of what you just said on that paper, Leo. Matter fact, she’s doin’ nothing but scribbling notes. Shouldna’ quit taking her medication! LEO (waves hand in frustration) Think, Smart! Mr. Zipp and his crew would be stupid to put certain stuff in writing. They’d be telling on themselves if the minutes ever leaked out! BEAUTY Leo’s probably right. Maybe there’s a way to make sure Mental Central does ‘spring a leak’! Maybe those meeting minutes need to leak out. (puts the paper in her pocket, keeps writing) GAMBLING GREEN Okay, you know law, Hector, being a security guard and all. Ain’t that discrimination? Sending us to prison and letting the worse patients go to a nice forensic hospital like Mental Central? BEAUTY If I had to guess, I’d say the State can do whatever it pleases, Mr. Green. LEO Whoa! Only the sickest patients are going to those hospitals. Not us. Patients like us . . . sitting around this table�"we’re what’s called the ‘walking wounded’. MS. LILLY Wounded? (feels her body- jumps up) Goodness, I’m not bleeding am I? I need to find my gun! (gets up to look around) BEAUTY You’re fine, Ms. Lilly. “Walking Wounded” just means some of the patients�"like you�"they’re not so bad off. (motions to include all at the table) A lot of us can help take care of ourselves. The nurses and nurse aides are so busy they can barely keep an eye on us . . . They just referee fights and watch the men shave themselves. We take our own showers. . . MR. TIGGNER Noooo, no, no, no! Bathing’s not on my agenda, Ms. Beauty. BEAUTY Right, Mr. Tiggner. . See we wash our own clothes and dress ourselves. Ms. Hattie only gets help tying her shoes because she gets dizzy bending over. And we fix our own hair (straightens hers wig a bit) . MR. TIGGNER: (suddenly clear as a bell�"stands�"angry) Soooo, since we’re not as sick as some of the others (points to Patient Extras) the administrators figure we can use our wits and make it in a prison? . . . Claptrap!
MS. LILLY: (sing-songs) Claptrap! Claptrap! Claptrap! (claps her hands in joy) Ooooh, that’s a wonderful old phrase, Mr. Tiggner! Why, I bet ya’ll didn’t know that means ‘hogwash’ down south! GAMBLING GREEN You’re with it ta-day, Mr. Tiggner. (high fives Tiggner) HECTOR Ms. Lilly! You could teach me all those ‘down south’ words like that. Come in handy whatever job I get. HATTIE (suddenly upset�"makes piano screech) Not me! I can’t go to prison. Those folks in prison have lost their souls to the devil already. I don’t think Jesus could find me in there (pats her head doily ).Too many sinners in cells stacked on top of each other. SMART Prison! I still don’t believe it will happen, Leo. MS. LILLY (indignant, appalled) Well, it’s simply out of the question for the president’s mama! (cringes) I will not go to a prison! Not even to visit. Why, it’s just not a fit place for proper southern ladies to live. I’ve heard it’s all deco-rated in such bad taste�"folks wearin’ the same striped outfits day after day. (suddenly panicked) Why, my tiny figurines would just tip right over . . fall between those cell bars . . . (tearful, angry) and breakin’ . . .
MR. TIGGNER You’ve certainly hit the target there, Ms. Lilly! Why it’s completely unreasonable. Leo, remove my name off the list immediately. My three-piece suit . . . why, it wouldn’t be the appropriate attire in a penal colony of any sort. (shakes head) Noooo.
HATTIE (begins to sing gospel song --suddenly stops-fearful) What about Mental Central’s gospel choir? (jumps up) Why, I haveta’ play piano here every Wednesday. (takes BC envelope from her purse, shakes out powder on the table, in the air, begins to chant.) : Save Hattie, Jesus! Holy dust, holy dust, holy dust. Holy, holy, holy dust. GAMBLING GREEN Hey! Somebody get that BC Headache powder away from her! (moves away) HATTIE (sings the phrase ‘holy dust’ with gospel sound; Pulls out more BC envelopes ) Hoooly dust, hooooly dust, holy, holy, holy dust . . . TIGGNER, LILLY, HATTIE ( remained seated) BEAUTY She’s getting it in my eyes! SMART (taunting--moves) So what, Beauty! Then you’ll just be blind and mute. [[suddenly there is a muffled sound from the overhead PA system speaker mounted on one corner of The Cage.] LEO, HECTOR, GREEN, SMART, BEAUTY (they noisily move from table �" avoiding BC powder, but makes it harder to hear PA�"public address system) LEO (yells) Hey, quiet everybody. Quiet! That was Nurse Kandi on the pager. Calling a color ALERT! HECTOR (excited, talking fast) Alert? What color, what color’d she say, Leo? Pumpkin orange, Barney purple . . ALL PATIENTS (all shout at Hector) Shut up Hector! Shhhh. NURSE KANDI (repeats paging ) ALERT! RED APPLE! FORENSIC 2 UNIT! RED APPLE ALERT! OhmyGod! OhmyGod! GAMBLING GREEN (excited) NEW YORK RED! NEW YORK RED APPLE ALE
LEO (looking around quickly assessing The Cage) Heck, all of us patients are out here. Nobody’s AWOL. What the hell is going on inside? J-ROD (steely firm voice over the Public Address system) FORENSICS 2 Unit, RED APPLE ALERT! I repeat, RED APPLE (pauses �" voice panicky ) HELP! WE NEED HELP NOW! SMART That’s J-Rod! LEO (rushes towards the Dayroom door; he yells over his shoulder) Something bad’s going on in there! Let’s go! GAMBLING GREEN (runs grabs Hattie’s purse, stuffs all the BC Powder envelopes in his pocket) SMART (not believing his eyes) Holy dust, Green? GREEN (running towards the door, yells) May come in handy. SMART (grabs Lilly’s bag of flour -- tucks it under his shirt) Hell, give me that!
BEAUTY (frantically grabs whatever notes she has, folding and stuffing in pockets, bra, shoes ,under wig…catches up with group heading in to Dayroom) LEO, SMART, HECTOR, GAMBLING GREEN, BEAUTY (ENTER- Dayroom )
TIGGNER (He is still outside--rises slowly, puts on his suit coat, straightens his tie, and tugs at his cuffs, pats his hair in place) MS. LILLY This is no time to primp, old man! (she pushes Tiggner from behind) Ms. Hattie, help me with him! HATTIE LOU (helps pull Tiggner to his feet)
MS. LILLY (yells to the other patients in The Cage.) Rest of y’all. . . . get your happy behinds in gear! Go see what’s happening with J-Rod and our sweet Kandi! HATTIE, LILLY, TIGGNER, ENSEMBLE PATIENTS (ENTER DAYROOM)
(LIGHTS DOWN on The Cage- END OF SCENE ) ACT III-6__ HOSTAGE SITUATION LEO, SMART, GAMBLING GREEN, HECTOR, BEAUTY (rush into Dayroom , stop, listen to J-Rod on phone) J-ROD ( on telephone; anxious, can’t get other person to listen, clipboard under arm) But, sir he’s . . . yes, sir, but . . . (frustrated, tries to explain) Yes sir. . . but . . . I know I should have followed the paging procedure . . . The policy number, sir? Uh, uh . . . it’s policy number 785. No sir I won’t . . . but . . . Yes, sir . . . I’m sorry for yelling on the PA system, . . . but Mr. Zipp, . . . yes sir, all the patients are right here . . . . ` TIGGNER, LILLY, BEAUTY, HATTIE, Patient ENSEMBLE (noisily ENTER DAYROOM �" ALL speaking at same time) What happened? What’s going on? (then suddenly silent, they listen to J-Rod) J-ROD (on telephone, holds index finger to lips to patients to be quiet) Who sir? . . . Lt. Wait? . . . (strong voice) Oh, yes, sir! I called him first, but he says he can’t respond to a New York Red Apple alert alone. Said he has to wait for the Chief! But sir, please! I need help now! (yells) Mr. Zipp, he grabbed Nurse Kandi!
PATIENTS & ENSEMBLE (patients yell in unison) Nurse Kandi??!! PATIENTS & ENSEMBLE (speaking at the same time; some pacing) Who? Who grabbed her? Our sweet Kandi? Where ‘s the police? Where is she? I want my nurse. She loves us. Bring her back. Sweet Kandi. J-ROD (hangs up telephone �" sits, shaking his head) ALL PATIENTS & EXTRAS (except LEO, SMART, BEAUTY, GREEN, begin a chant, banging hands, shoes, rolled up magazines on tables, chairs) We want Kandi! We want Kandi! We want Kandi! (louder and louder, faster] We want Kandi! We want Kandi! . . .
MR. ZIPP, DR. DITHER, MS. TWISTER, MR. PINCHER (�"keys heard at door-- loud unlocking sound) �" ENTER --they rush in �"Dither stays slightly behind Twister-- as if scared and needing her protection)
MR. ZIPP J-Rod! (loud sound as he is re-locking door) What’s all this noise? MR. PINCHER (boldly walks around dayroom, shaking head, looking at the broken furniture; pulls out a huge calculator from jacket pocket, punches it, mumbling prices) All this broken furniture . . . $400, $7,000, $680, $1800, $75, $22,000, PATIENT ENSEMBLE We want Kandi! We want Kandi! We want Kandi! We want Kandi!
J-ROD (gentle voice to patients) Shhhhh. Quiet, quiet, please. (addresses Zipp) The patients just upset, sir. . . .they heard me telling you . . . ZIPP (interrupts) Yes, yes. . .Understandable. Calmly tell us what happened. (shouts) Mr. Pincher! Mr. Pincher! Get over here so we’ll all hear it first hand. MR. PINCHER (joins Twister and Dither) LEO, HECTOR, SMART, GREEN, BEAUTY (move closer to hear) J-ROD (takes a deep breath) Well, sir, all the patients were outside in The Cage . . . MR. ZIPP Fenced area. We’re not to refer to it by nicknames the patients use now are we, J-Rod?
J-ROD Yes, sir, I mean, no sir. . . Well, while the patients were in the Fenced Area Nurse Kandi and I were in the medicine room, uh, (catches himself telling too much) . . . uh . . . we were, I mean, uh . . .she was . . . (has his lie together now--firmly) She was teaching me how to help point out meds to nurses. (motions to Ms. Twister to confirm) You know! Ms. Twister’s new “4 R” plan, sir. MR. ZIPP (puzzled �"shakes head side to side) ‘4 R?’ No, I don’t believe I. . . J-ROD (proud) That’s just what I call it sir, the “4 Rs”. To remember The right patient, the right drug, the right dose, the right time. (looks to Twister for approval) MS. TWISTER (nods, smiles, boastful) My new POC in action. Just like I told you, Mr. Zipp. You’ll want to share this with our sister hospitals statewide, right? MR. ZIPP (impatient) Yes, yes. Continue, J-Rod. J-ROD (very dramatically ) Well, all of a sudden Rosemary, that new nurse aide, she busted in on me and Nurse Kandi. (angry) Didn’t even knock first. Yelling that her boyfriend called her cell phone . MS. TWISTER (rigid, interrupts) Cell phone! Using personal cell phones is against my policy! You’re the senior nurse aide, J-Rod. . . you should have told her . . . MR. ZIPP (interrupts) Ms. Twister, please let J-Rod continue! J-ROD (not as dramatically) Anyway, Rosemary said her boyfriend was right outside. Threatening to blow up our Forensics 2 Unit if she didn’t come out right then! Said he wanted that $400.00. . . . See, Rosemary had told him ‘bout some money she made. Investing in the stock market . . . while working in here . . . . ZIPP, PINCHER, DITHER, TWISTER ( puzzled, looking confused at one another) SMART, LEO, GAMBLING GREEN, HECTOR (all bump elbow, push each other knowingly) BEAUTY (sneaks to write a note�"uses back of hand) J-ROD That’s when Nurse Kandi called that first Red Alert. MR. PINCHER See, I . . . I . . . I . . . told you all. We pay these people way too much money. A nurse aide dipping and dappling in the stock market! Well, I . . .I. . . I never!
LEO (angry, yells) Would ya’ll let the man us tell what happened to Nurse Kandi? SMART (scared of discovery-- shouts) Yeah, that’s what’s important! Nurse Kandi. Leave out all that Rosemary stock buying stuff! J-ROD (dramatically again) The second Nurse Kandi called that alert, we heard this loud noise. BAM! Like somebody kicking down the Dayroom door. Then we see this guy … standing in the middle of the Dayroom. Dangling keys, no shirt. Claimed he had a grenade strapped to his chest. His chest was covered with duct tape. Told us he’s Rosemary’s boyfriend . . .that he came for the money!
DR. DITHER But how’d he get by Lt. Wait guarding at the main entrance?
LEO (sarcastic) The same way anybody does�"just wait ‘til he falls asleep. MR. ZIPP Trustee Leo, I don’t expect you of all people to be spreading rumors about our police staff. Not with the federal inspectors due any day now. Continue, please, J-Rod. LEO (kissing up) No harm meant, Mr. Zipp. Just worried about Nurse Kandi, sir. J-ROD ( talking fast, scared) Before I could do anything, he ran up behind Nurse Kandi, grabbed her around the neck. All the time screaming at me to bring Rosemary to him. He kept yelling, ‘BRING ME ROSEMARY AND THAT MONEY … nobody’ll get hurt!’ GAMBLING GREEN (shouts, upset) Give her up! Let him have that lazy Rosemary! J-ROD (distraught tone) He wouldn’t listen to me, Mr. Zipp. I told him over and over. . . . Rosemary had high-tailed it out . . . ran out the back door. He wouldn’t believe me! MR. ZIPP (getting nervous himself) J-Rod, calm, calm down now . . .
CHIEF, LT. WAIT [ENTER �"loud unlocking sound--Dayroom door is flung open, both rush in-out of breath,]] CHIEF (huffing, puffing, bending over trying to catch his breath) We had . . . to . . . run . . . all . . . the way . . . here, Mr. Zipp. LT. WAIT (winded) Yeah . . . our police car . . . flooded out . . .wouldn’t start. What’s . . wrong? . J-ROD (angry, raises his voice) Wha’s wrong!? I called a Red Apple Alert over ten minutes ago! Rosemary’s boyfriend, some nutcase, snatched Nurse Kandi! He’s got a grenade strapped to ‘im, threatenin’ to blow up the place! He’s hollerin’ for Rosemary and some money she’s ‘sposed to have. Rosemary ran! LT. WAIT (leans over to Chief) She can’t be far! Can’t we give her up, Chief? Rosemary’s that new nurse aide I told you who brushed me off. After I paid for her lunch every day her first week here . . . . CHIEF (annoyed, waves Lt. Wait off with his hand) This is not the time, Lt. Wait. LT. WAIT (fearing he has ticked off the Chief, pulls out a pad, furiously takes notes) LEO (upset, pushes to the front of the crowd, and grabs J-Rod’s shoulders) Which way did he go with Nurse Kandi, J-Rod? J-ROD (points across the room, shouts) There! LEO (puzzled --yells) Where?! J-ROD (shouts) The Bubble Window room! I mean . . . seclusion and restraint room! LEO (shocked�"runs to door with clear plastic bubble window) Nurse Kandi! (tries to open the door, yanks) Damn it! CHIEF, LT. WAIT (they push Leo aside, quickly look, move to side, whispering )
LEO (moves back to keep watch through window) MS. TWISTER: Chief and Lt. Wait! You all should have known! Hospital policy states that RED APPLE ALERT means location seclusion and restraint room. MR. ZIPP (shouts) Enough of your policy reminders, Ms. Twister! J-Rod, what are you waiting for? Unlock that door! J-ROD I can’t! (panics, looks at Twister for help) MR. ZIPP I am ordering you to unlock the door, J-Rod! J-ROD (looks for support from head nurse) We . . we ain’t used that room in a real long time, sir. Nurse Kandi has the only key. (panic rising) Tell him, Ms. Twister! How we’re too short-staffed to keep ‘em under constant watch! How you wanted to make sure nurse aides did not tie patients down and forget to check ‘em. How we’re never to leave ‘em alone cause they might even die like the one that got hung tangles up in . . .
MS. TWISTER (interrupts--strongly defends her position) Patients and staff get injured when we have to wrestle ‘em into that room. We’d give ’em injections to calm ‘em down. Sedate ‘em. But, staff didn’t follow time rules to keep checking on ’em. (hands on hips) If I had the money to hire nurses and aides, I wouldn’t be stuck with procedures that just plug holes in the dike. I can’t even pay the nurses and aides we do have a decent salary! MR. ZIPP We have to do more with less-- you know that Ms. Twister. This is no time for you to bring up the budget. J-ROD That fool locked the door from the inside with Nurse Kandi’s key. [Sits down, holds head hands.] Poor Nurse Kandi. This is my fault. I’m sooooo sorry. MR. ZIPP (wrings hands, presses the palms to forehead, looks upward) If the media gets hold of this hostage situation . . . LEO, GREEN (goes to watch at Bubble Window)
MS. TWISTER (interrupts, boastful) I’ve always handled the press very well for you, Mr. Zipp. . . . countering any bad press with all the good work my nursing staff does. . . (motions to bubble window) And this? . . . My policy keeping the seclusion and restraint room locked . . . that’s easy to explain. The feds new ‘best practice” policy frowns on restraining almost any patients now. . . . even discourage our using physical or injection restraints. Regardless of the reasons, I can twist their rules so what we do at the hospital is seen in the best light. (opens palms of hands up) You see? DR. DITHER ( not to be left out) Well, the doctors are due some credit, too, Mr. Zipp. It’s the doctors who order the latest drugs … to control patients’ depression . . . hearing voices . MR. PINCHER At a boatload cost! Which the hospital uh pays- uh pays, pays those drug companies. Just so they can treat you doctors to your free weekly lunch perks . . . or whatever so they’ll . . . DR. DITHER (interrupts, defensive, haughty) How dare you! Doctors practice medicine, not succumb to bribery, Mr. Pincher. (whining) The drug companies just happen to schedule our drug information in-service education and training at the lunch hour. Since when has lunch become a . . . MR. ZIPP (interrupts, finally loses his temper) Shut up your bickering�"all of you! This is no time to debate ethics! Can’t you see I have an emergency? DR. DITHER (always trying to please) Yes, yes, of course, I apologize, Mr. Zipp. MR. PINCHER ( walks away from them) LEO, GREEN (remained at bubble window- watching) SMART, HECTOR, BEAUTY (join Leo and Green at the window) HECTOR That’s a grenade alright. Saw plenty in the Iraq war. Gonna’ cause a lotta' of pain and screaming. SMART It’s covered with duct tape, Hector. How can you tell it’s alive? HECTOR Don’t matter. It’s gonna hurt like hell when that duct tape gets pulled off his hairy chest. Yep, a lotta’ pain and screaming! ZIPP, DITHER, PINCHER, TWISTER (rush over to look through the window, over shoulders of Leo, Smart, Hector & Green, Beauty) PATIENT ENSEMBLE /EXTRAS (trying to look, they crowd behind Zipp, Dither, Pincher, Twister)
NOTE: [this should look almost like a “group hug” a “ pile up” �"except they are facing one another’s backs] CHIEF (yells�"tone of authority�"pulling / peeling them apart) Get back! Everybody get back! This is a crime scene. Possible live ammunition! Lt. Wait, use your emergency key and open the door. LT. WAIT (tries several keys on a large key ring) He’s jammed the lock from the inside, Chief. Master key won’t work. HECTOR (impatient) Shoot off the damn lock! That’s why policemen carry guns!
[[TELEPHONE RINGS]] LEO, SMART, GREEN (leave “pile-up”, go into a huddle �" whispering) GREEN, SMART (EXIT -- to a bedroom)
LEO (returns to the group at bubble window, works his way to front again) J-ROD (answers telephone) Mental Central Forensics 2 Unit. . . . Uh, yes. . . . Hold please. (calls out) It’s for you Dr. Dither. DR. DITHER (takes phone) This is Dr. Dither. . . I see. . . I will inform our head administrator, Mr. Zipp. . . . Certainly. . . . Thank you. (hangs up phone) MS. TWISTER Bad news? MR. PINCHER Can’t be worse than the mess we’re in right now. DR. DITHER Well, Mr. Zipp we have some good and some bad news. (gleeful) The good news is that on the three-person team of federal inspectors, two of the three experts will be from out-of-state. MR. ZIPP Excellent! Excellent! We just might have a chance with some new eyes, objective eyes, looking us over. MS. TWISTER Well, doctor, are you just going to keep the bad news to yourself? DR. DITHER Her new inspection team will be here between (scared to say), uh, between (speaks fast) the next 24 to 48 hours. MR. ZIPP (terrified, shouts) What!? Possibly tomorrow?! Chief! Go get the gun! Right now! We’ve got work to do! BEAUTY (rushes over and takes up “residence” in the telephone booth�"door is off -- she is seen writing notes of all that’s unfolding�"frequently stuffing her pockets, under wig, �" a few times she is starts to pick up the receiver, but as a journalist �"now with the drugs wearing off and feeling more normal --she fights that urge �"and just observes and takes notes�"her body language or face shows shock or surprise at times depending on what she overhears) CHIEF (raises his voice) Lt. Wait! You heard Mr. Zipp. Go get our gun! We have to shoot off the lock. MR. ZIPP (hands Lt. Wait his car keys) Take my car. And hurry up! LT. WAIT Roger! (runs to door, stops, returns to face Mr. Pincher) Now you see why you need to buy more than one gun, Mr. Pincher? A one-gun police force! Who ever heard of such? Chief and I havta’ always leave it in the office . . . just so we both know where it is. If something bad happens to Nurse Kandi it’ll be your penny-pinching fault. (EXITS) MR. PINCHER (walks away,�"loudly mumbles, not bothered by verbal attack, attention back to calculating $ damage) Humph! I, I, I don’t make the rules. Mr. Zipp’s the boss. (haughty) Ask him about the uh, the uh, the uh, one-gun police force rule! MR. TIGGNER (yells, when he finally gets his first up close look) Look! He’s making sweet Nurse Kandi take off her white nurse shoes. LEO (upset) What’s he doin’ in there? Playing Strip Poker? MR.TIGGNER (knocks on the bubble window) Hey! You in there! I’ll take you apart appendage by appendage myself if you hurt sweet Nurse Kandi. Don’t you worry, Nurse Kandi.
MS. HATTIE, MS. LILLY (they push Leo and Tiggner--) MS. LILLY Move over, Mr.Tiggner, Leo. We didn’t see real good before. LEO, TIGGNER (moves away)
MS. HATTIE Let me see. . . MS. LILLY No, me first. . MS. HATTIE Move over. . I still can’t see. . MS. LILLY Oh goodness me! (dreamy) Muscles all over that love-lee chest. . . I promise you he means business . .. I, mean, with that thing taped to that chest of his! HATTIE Sounds like you need to go fan yourself off, Ms. Lilly. MS. LILLY He’s quite handsome. I’d love to do a life-size figurine of him. He’s most likely from somewhere below the Mason Dixon Line . . . probably Mississippi or South Carolina .
HECTOR (joins Hattie , Lilly) HATTIE He’s not Nurse Kandi’s type. She likes’s ‘em a lot younger.
MS, LILLY Nurse Kandi does look scared, poor thing. Isn’t that her white uniform skirt on the floor over there? HECTOR Yeah! (yells ) Lt. Wait needs to hurry up with that gun, Chief! CHIEF (pulls Zipp off to the side) I want this fool to know we are watching his every move. Lt. Wait and I discussed that we need to make a rotation schedule. Staff could take turns watching him . . .while we figure out how to make him give up Nurse Kandi. You disagree? MR. ZIPP: No. CHIEF Why? MR.ZIPP No, I do NOT disagree. CHIEF You agree then? MR. ZIPP (clinches his teeth to answer) Yes! Let’s move on it, Chief! I can’t have this situation going on and the new inspection team due in no time. Assign any of my staff on whatever rotation schedule. We’ve got to end this thing fast. I’ve gotta’ put our Plan of Correction into action hospital wide. I’m scared if the governor gets wind of this hostage situation she’ll close us up like a clam without an inspection. CHIEF Sir, uh, . . .(clears his throat several times, takes a deep breath) Sir, I need to tell you. I’m worried about another little problem. We only have a few bullets for the gun. MR. ZIPP A few? Exactly how many? CHIEF Eight. MR. ZIPP. You sure it was eight? (thinking out loud, then catches himself) I thought I signed off at least for two extra . . . uh, I mean . . .you sure it’s not eight bullets for each officer?. . .. . . CHIEF No, eight measly bullets! Total! Mr. Pincher claimed you wouldn’t approve anymore bullets ‘til we used up the ones we have! Heck, sir, we can’t even keep up our skills with target practice! MR. ZIPP (suddenly backs down) Uh, well, now maybe after this is over I, uh, . . .Pincher’ll, see the flaw in that purchasing policy so you can get . . . CHIEF I doubt it, sir. But maybe I can get your approval to shoot him! MR. ZIPP (groans) Chief, what you’re telling me is that if you miss when you shoot at this door knob, Nurse Kandi is at greater risk of his . . . how can I put it delicately?. . . of the boyfriend’s overtures? CHIEF You got it, sir! HECTOR (peeking in the bubble window) He’s hollering for that Rosemary again. Uh oh! He’s about to make a move. He just made Nurse Kandi take off her white stockings. (admiringly) Her legs are real long … son bonitos (= they are nice /pretty) MS. TWISTER I’ll shoot Pincher myself! Chief, you’ve got do something! PATIENT ENSEMBLE (chanting�"again push their way to window) Let me see- Let me see- Let me see- Let me see- Let me see �" DR. DITHER (joins patients, gets close enough to look in) MS.TWISTER (angry) I can’t have my nurse out of uniform when she’s on duty. Dress code policy for nurses requires . . . . DR. DITHER (shakes his head) Well, he’s unbuttoning her blouse, Ms. Twister. I don’t think he really cares about your nurses’ dress code! Or Rosemary, anymore. . . Oh, I can’t watch this. (moves away from window) PATIENT ENSEMBLE (step closer again�" in unison) Ooooo, weeee. CHIEF (takes Zipp over to the side to talk in private again, excited.) He’s escalating! That last move with her blouse makes it critical I make contact. I must negotiate with the perpetrator. We can’t have a . . . well; you know what I mean . . . a situation . . . right here in front of our eyes. MR. ZIPP (anxious, fearful) I’ll be the laughing stock of every psychiatric hospital in the State. I have a reputation to protect. (pushes finger in Chief’s chest) Do something, Chief! CHIEF (nervous) How ‘bout if I call him on the telephone in the seclusion room and try to talk him down, uh, I mean outta’ there . . . you know, like on the TV shows . . . MR.ZIPP (tone hurried --just glad Chief has anything to try) Yes, yes! That sounds like a plan, Chief! (shouts) J-Rod, J-Rod! Dial the phone in the seclusion room so Chief can talk to him. J-ROD (grabs portable phone, dials number, and gives to Chief) CHIEF (positions himself at bubble window, holds phone to his ear) LEO (positions himself beside Chief , his hand on the door knob) [[TELEPHONE RINGING]] NOTE: [[Interrupting the phone ringing is suddenly a loud noise coming from inside seclusion room.]] CHIEF (looks through the bubble window) What the hell is going . . .? (shocked by something he sees) Damn! [[more loud noise continues and unlocking loud noise key in Dayroom door]]
[[TELEPHONE can still be heard ringing]] LT. WAIT (ENTERS- Dayroom--waving gun in hand, runs to look in window) Chief! Chief! What happened . . . what’s all that noise in there? [[TELEPHONE can still be heard ringing]]
CHIEF (still holding telephone to his ear) He won’t answer the telephone so I can ask him. LEO (suddenly ENTERS �" through door of seclusion room-- he holds the door knob tightly from inside to prevent the Chief and Lt. Wait from entering) CHIEF Trustee Leo! Open this door! You come back out here! This is a police order! (pulls on door) LT. WAIT (looks through the bubble window, rubs it ) I can’t see a thing! It’s like a white fog in there. What’s all that white stuff? Did the grenade explode or somethin’? [[more loud scuffing noises]] MR. ZIPP (shouts) Trustee Leo! Open this door right now! CHIEF (yelling at the window) Halt! This is the Police! Halt! Ya’ll stop holding this door! (tries to open the door) [[ suddenly loud noises STOP ]]
LEO (he can be heard but not seen yet) Damn good job you two. Gambling Green, wrap that punk up. Smart, cover up Nurse Kandi. Mister Boyfriend, you messed with the wrong criminal element ta-day! (shouts through door to the Chief) We’re coming out, Chief! (opens door slowly) ZIPP, STAFF, ALL PATIENTS (all begin walking towards the door as it is opening) CHIEF (shouts, waves hands) Move! Everyone! Move back from the door! LT. WAIT (pointing the gun at the door) LEO (flings open door) LEO, SMART, GAMBLING GREEN (raise their hands immediately seeing Lt. Wait pointing a gun at them- ENTER the Dayroom -- everyone’s hair and clothing�" is covered white except Leo’s ) MS. LILLY Oh, no! My White Lily! My White Lily flour is all gone! ROSEMARY’S BOYFRIEND (is tightly wrapped mummy-style in a white sheet�"he is standing close to GAMBLING GREEN) MS. HATTIE My Holy Dust! (breaks into her gospel version �"happy version--of her Holy Dust song ) Holy dust, Holy dust, hoooooly, hoooly, hoooly dust PATIENTS (all join Hattie in singing) Holy dust, Holy dust, hoooooly, hoooly, hoooly dust -Holy dust, Holy dust, hoooooly, hoooly, hoooly dust . . . Holy . . . CHIEF (yells) Stop that singing! HATTIE, PATIENTS (all stop singing ) CHIEF Lt. Wait, give me the gun! LT. WAIT (very excited, hands shaking) I‘ve got everything under control, Chief. I can handle it . . . CHIEF (interrupts, reaches over to grab the gun)
LT. WAIT (he moves back to avoid the Chief’s grab) Chief, I got it aimed right on the perpetrators . . . CHIEF I want the gun right now! MS. TWISTER Where is my nurse? HECTOR (yells) Where’s that live grenade that idiot had?
CHIEF (frantic) We’ve got to contain the grenade . . .
GAMBLING GREEN Here it is Chief! (holding the grenade in his hand raised over head) It was just a plastic toy grenade. HECTOR I’ll be doggone! Sure fooled me. LT. WAIT (moves closer to see grenade�"still has gun pointed) You sure that’s a toy? LEO (yells to Lt. Wait) Hey, Wait! Watch where you’re pointing that gun! SMART Yeah! Boyfriend here is your perp. Not us! GAMBLING GREEN We got him out for you. Here, take him! (Green pushes the mummy-wrapped boyfriend towards the Chief and Lt. Wait) BOYFRIEND (mummy wrapped, he loses his balance as he’s falls into Lt. Wait.) LT WAIT (drops his gun on floor)
( STAGE LIGHTS GO BLACK )
LEO, GREEN, SMART, WAIT, CHIEF (all make loud scuffle noise with their feet�"as if scrambling for gun)
NOTE: audience only hears voices of WAIT & CHIEF:
LT. WAIT Where’s the gun, Chief?
CHIEF You don't have it, Lt. Wait? LT. WAIT Who’s got the gun?
INTERMISSION #2 ACT III -8 THE INSANE DECIDE PATIENTS, STAFF & PATIENT ENSEMBLE (shouts, screams) Leo’s got the gun! Look! . . . Ohmygod . . . .. . . Look out! . . . BEAUTY (still in “residence” in telephone booth�"crawls out looks, crawls back inside) BOYFRIEND (mummy sheet wrapped, lying on floor ) LEO (gun pointed at staff, jumps onto table/chair, shouts) Hold up! Hold up! Everybody quiet! STAFF, PATIENTS (silent) LEO Mr. Zipp! Staff!, Get over here! Where I can see you. . . . Right now! MR. ZIPP, TWISTER, DITHER, CHIEF, LT. WAIT, PINCHER, J-ROD (all come forward-) LEO (keeping gun and eye on Staff, jumps down, runs over, taps on telephone booth ) Beauty! Get out here! BEAUTY (rushes out, stuffing her notes beneath wig & her pockets, hands up, joins other patients ) LEO (jumps /stands on chair /table again, yells) Everybody! Hands in the air! Get ‘em up! ALL (hands in air ... choreographed, all quickly shoot arms straight up, fingers splayed ‘jazz hands’ style) MR. ZIPP (shouts) Trustee Leo, come down from there! Give Chief that gun!
HECTOR (shouts) Don’t do it Leo! MS. LILLY Shoot to kill ‘em, cowboy! LEO (yells) Gambling Green! Go get Nurse Kandi!
GAMBLING GREEN Leo, you sure you wanna’ to do this . . .
LEO (becomes nervous) Just go get her! Now!
GAMBLING GREEN (EXITS - walks backwards towards seclusion room, keeping his eyes on Leo)
CHIEF Lt. Wait, this is your fault. I told you to give me the gun. LT. WAIT But, Chief ... I didn’t know Leo was going to grab it and act crazy! LEO (nervously waving the gun side to side trying to cover everybody) Shut up, you two! Chief, Wait, Mr. Zipp, Ms. Twister, Dr. Dither, Mr. Pincher. Keys and cell phones. Pagers too! Right here! (points to area near his feet on the table/chair) ZIPP & STAFF (shocked silence, no one moves) LEO (gets angry, yells) Move it! Right now! The court says I’m good wit’ a gun. Don’t make us all find out if that's trie! Now do what I say!
ZIPP & STAFF (staff rush --choreographed bumbling-- to put items on the table/chair) GAMBLING GREEN, NURSE KANDI (ENTERS-dayroom�"Kandi is in uniform) NURSE KANDI Leo! What?! Why do you have a gun!? LEO (voice calm, gentler) Nurse Kandi! I’m glad you’re OK. But, I need your cell phone, pager, and keys. . . .Put ‘em right here, please. (points to the pile) NURSE KANDI But, why Leo? You and Mr. Smart and Mr. Green saved my life! You rescued me from . . .
MR. ZIPP (interrupts) Just do what he says, Nurse Kandi. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. NURSE KANDI (places the items on the table/chair) HECTOR (runs up to Leo, happy, excited, talking fast) You busting us outa' of here? I’ll go pack! I can’t live with mi padre and madrastra no more. LEO (jumps down from the table/chair) Hold up, Hector. Hold up. . . . Mr. Zipp I’m locking you, your staff, and Rosemary’s Boyfriend in your conference room. I’m sorry, but Nurse Kandi and J-Rod, y’all too. HECTOR I know law . . . I’ll be a Paralegal. I’ll get my own place! I’ll get a job!! LEO Everybody stay calm and nobody gets hurt. Chief, I want some more bullets. (bragging) I used to be a pretty good shot. . . (interrupts himself). Well, so say the courts! CHIEF (angry, turns to Lt. Wait) Give him the other two bullets before he flips out wit’ a flashback! LT. WAIT Damn! (removes bullets from pocket and places them on the table/chair) LEO Two bullets? A one-gun, eight bullet police force! I don’t believe this! (laughs) Mr. Zipp y’all better be glad we patients handled your hostage situation! PATIENTS (all laugh)
MR. ZIPP (begging) Listen to me, Trustee Leo. Please. Give Chief the gun. We’re glad you saved Nurse Kandi, but what you’re doing now? This overshadows all your good works. I beg you. Give up the gun, we’ll overlook your reckless act here. . . Leo, I trusted you.... LEO (serious tone) With all due respect Mr. Zipp, I as your Trustee no longer trusts you! . . . Or, your staff! So, please. just get into the conference room!
STAFF, J-ROD, KANDI, & BOYFRIEND ( enter conference room�"Mr. Zipp lingers behind) MR. ZIPP (still standing just outside door) Trust us? Leo, what are you talking about . . .? LEO (shoves Zipp inside, locks the door, returns to the Dayroom) PATIENTS & ENSEMBLE (applause --except Beauty, for Leo, excited they will now leave hospital) BEAUTY (goes to book case, tears blank pages from paperbacks for her notes) (NOTE--ZIPP, & STAFF, ROSEMARY’S BOYFRIEND • all staff and Boyfriend in conference room can be seen by audience during scene • All except Boyfriend are listening at walls and conference room door, walls, hold drinking glasses trying to hear what Leo is saying to other patients in the Dayroom. • They do not speak aloud during this scene, but the audience is able to see their non-verbal behaviors and reactions to the patients’ discussions about staff, the rules, treatment, etc. • Rosemary’s Boyfriend - is not interested in listening--stretches out on the conference table. ******************************* HECTOR You the man, Leo! I’m sticking with you when we break out. (excited) We can be roommates! LEO Settle down, Hector. Everybody, over here. I wanna meet with . . . MR. SMART (sarcastic, interrupts) Here he goes again! Another one of his damn Trustee meetings! GAMBLING GREEN Well, Smart, I’m listening to whoever’s got a gun on me! LEO (tucks gun inside his pants waist �" he listens�"but appears to be weighing things in his own mind) MR. SMART Now look, Leo, I agreed with you that somebody�"that we-- had to get Nurse Kandi outta’ there. I went along with your “rescue Nurse Kandi” plan. Had me ‘n Gamblin’ Green crawling through my bedroom ceiling. Dropping down through the Bubble room heat vent. Cause, for sure that motley police force didn’t have a clue what to do. BEAUTY (walks up to and stands by whoever speaks�"openly taking notes�"runs back and forth to bookcase or more paper) GAMBLING GREEN I say the police shoulda’ thought about going through the ceiling. Whole lotta’ patients already escaped that way. And I bet’cha $5.00 they never will catch ‘em! MR. SMART And you were right, Leo. . . we could not even get in trouble . . . Mr. Zipp woulda’ been telling on himself if he told on us . . . how he loss control of Mental Central and all . . . GAMBLING GREEN (laughs) Yeah, that’s for sure . . . Mr. Zipp sho' ain’t singing 'bout what went down up in here ta-day! MR. SMART (continuing) And, our blinding Rosemary’s boyfriend with the White Lilly flour and BC powder snowstorm! Great idea! Holding the staff hostage? Bad idea! Leo, you’ve got yourself in one, big, hot mess! GAMBLING GREEN (shaking his head) Leo, breaking out of here . . . just puts me back on the streets again . . . hiding out in Mental Central . . . well, it’s what’s kept me alive, man. I can't go. MR. SMART You’ve crossed the line, Leo. You’ve confiscated a police weapon. Holding hostages. You’ll have us all doing serious time �"maybe life �"in a real penitentiary. Count me out! GAMBLING GREEN Me too, Leo. (shakes head) For a while now Mental Central’s been “three hots and a cot” for me. (recalling his own break-in) Plus, these locked doors . . . protect me real good. I still havta’ to worry about one of my old numbers customers if I leave. (annoyed, puzzled) Heck, he oughta’ know by now the State’s got legal lottery. I still don’t know how he found out I was hiding out in here. I told him that night, ‘Cops caught me and stole all my money!’ They let me go. But he wouldn't believe I was, just that minute (snaps fingers), on my way to pay off him . . .‘n everybody who played . . .
ALL PATIENTS (interrupt, shout) 7-4-6! GAMBLING GREEN (laughs) Naw, 7-3-7. (continues to recount his story) I got lucky myself that night . . . after cops stole my money, I ran into a fellow . . . said he’d just got fired. From here, Mental Central’s mechanic shop. . . . Drinking on the job . . . . Kept the transport vans and cars tuned up . . . He needed a quarter whisky shot in the worse way. . .. I gave him what change the cops’ left me . . . . for his keys (opens arms wide) to the ‘castle' here. . BEAUTY ( realizes she must confess�"can’t break the law as journalist�"clears throat) Excuse me, but you all have to count me out, too, Leo. (dynamic change of tone) And … um … well …I need to tell you all something. About who I really am. . . . MR. SMART (interrupts, angry) Forget you, Beauty! Oh, now you wanna talk! Well, go talk to the doctors! Can’t you see I’m trying to talk some sense into Leo? BEAUTY (angry �"voice raised) Talk! talk! I’m sick of the word! (runs goes over to Conf. Rm door-shouts) Dr. Dither! I’m talking now! (runs back to patients) I lied! Hear me?! I lied to get admitted to Mental Central. (pauses a couple of beats�"voice calm) I lied to get inside here. LEO (shakes his head) Even us patients know that nobody can just come up in the Forensics 2 Unit. Not without a courtroom judge’s OK. Beauty, you wasting our time. PATIENTS, ENSEMBLE (waves her off, dismissing what she’s telling them, all talk at same time) Yeah! Shut up, Beauty! We got to get outta here! Catch the bus! Hush up, Beauty! BEAUTY (pleads) I swear . . . I’m telling you the truth�"(goes to Leo) I lied to get admitted. There was a mix up. I lied to get in, and then I got put on the wrong unit. GAMBLING GREEN Humph. Guy selling Mental Central keys on the street musta’ gone outta’ business if you had ta' go to all that trouble to lie your way in here. MR. SMART You never did seem all that nuts to me, Beauty . . .just man-hungry . . . trying to get us all excited. GAMBLING GREEN Shut up, Smart! You talk too much out of your darn mouth! BEAUTY Please! What I need to confess is that I was . . . I mean . . . I am . . . a newspaper reporter! (almost to herself) I’m still a newspaper reporter. LEO Hear that everybody! We got us a real undercover spy claimin’ she broke into the crazy house! BEAUTY (pleads) It’s true . . I tell you, it’s true!. I came in here to write a story. To find out why so many mentally ill patients don’t get treatment. (a beat) Why so many die! ( a beat �"voice breaks) I thought I was going to die in here too but I . . . .
LEO (interrupts) Beauty, sounds like you and Gambling Green got a lot in common. Except he’s got a better chance of dyin’ if he leaves Mental Central! GAMBLING GREEN (changes allegiance) Don’t go mixing me up with her, Leo. I never did trust that woman! All that touching n’ caressin’ herself! Gettin' us men-folk all shook up! I always did think she was fakin’! MS. HATTIE (interrupts) I’ve told you all before: Jesus doesn’t approve of what y’all men are talking 'bout. Get your minds out of the gutter! (opens, searches purse) I’m running low on BC Headache Powder. I only have a few BCs left. You foul talking men are giving me a headache. (pats head doily) BEAUTY (sees no one believes her- pleads ) I know it’s hard to believe. But the only way I could report what really happens in here … was to get on the inside. Pretend to be a patient. Don’t you understand? By pretending to be a patient, I could write about it … tell the public the real story! LEO Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had me fooled a little while ago . . . all feminine and gentle. Now this talk of you being a reporter. BEAUTY Please, Leo, let me finish. Hardly anyone except patients ever gets to actually see inside a State mental hospital. Except the folks who work inside them. (goes over to Hattie) Even visitors�"like your husband, Ms. Hattie, and your church choir. All they get is as far as the lobby. No one except you . . . the patients. . . gets to see and hear and feel what really goes on inside. . . . in the dayroom, the cafeteria or the gym, the Cage. LEO What’s your point, Beauty? BEAUTY (goes over to Mr. Smart). Like you research stocks, I’ve done my research, too . . .but I had to get inside. To make it factual. All those federal privacy laws are supposed to work for you. But those same laws hide you from the public. They make you invisible. . . adding to the shame . . . the stigma as folks call it . . . about mental illness. LEO I don’t believe a word you say. BEAUTY Leo, the public doesn’t know what happens behind these locked doors. (stands by Lilly). Some of you get too much sedation. (goes to Smart, then Hattie) Some don’t get treated for alcoholism. Most of your medical chart’s aren’t even complete . . . like in my own case. (goes to Hector) Mr. Hector, say your parents drop the forgery charges, and you got released. Would anyone believe what you tell ‘em goes on in here? Or, would they say, “aw, he’s just crazy”. Just because you’d been in a mental institution? LEO (dismissive, annoyed, brushes her words off) , . . . You wastin' our time . . .Who cares! BEAUTY I care . . . not just as a reporter! None of you deserves to die like the others! But, what you all must know is my job as a journalist will not allow me to be part of an escape. That’d be a criminal act. But I can write about our desperation and fear of being stuck in here! . . . SMART (interrupts�"voice raised) Forget about Beauty! She’s fantasizing. A story-writing newspaper reporter! Yeah, right! Like I said, Leo, count me out of your escape plan! LEO (raises voice�"walks around�"looking at everyone) Now did I say anything about escaping? Huh? Who heard me say anything about going AWOL? (he waits a couple of beats) Not a soul! BEAUTY ( moves to side of telephone booth - starts writing notes ) HECTOR (over come with sadness) But we wanna’ go, Leo. I do! I always wanted to make my daddy proud. If he’s a good Catholic, a good Christian, like he says, (anger) then he’s gotta’ forgive me forging their checks. MR. TIGGNER I want to get away from that soapy water in here! Homeless shelters turn me away after three o’clock. What time is it now? I need to hurry if I’m going to get supper there tonight. (starts to get up to leave) LEO Mr. Tiggner, wait, listen to me. Maybe Mental Central is the best place for you�"for all of us. LEO Everybody, . . . after what happened to Nurse Kandi today it should be glass-clear . . .
SMART Crystal clear . . . LEO (looks at Smart, continues) . . . to all of us that Mr. Zipp and his staff can’t run water from a faucet. I told ya’ll earlier. If they mess up on this next inspection, the governor will shut this place down! SMART (sarcastic) So, you’re going to use that gun to do what? Shoot the inspectors if they don’t tell the governor this place passes? HATTIE Mr. Smart, hush. Trustee Leo, please give me the answer to my important question. Does Jesus go into the penitentiary? I won’t go unless Jesus goes. Now, if Jesus is going to be at the prison, then I wanna’ go there, too. LEO Hattie, if we can pull off the plan I have in mind, then Jesus and all the rest of us will stay right here. (walks to phone booth) You see, Beauty, when you’ve been here as long as some of us, you’ll see this place as your home, too. BEAUTY (looks at Leo, drops and shakes head) HATTIE (claps her hands in delight, sings) “Holy dust, Holy dust, Hoooooly . . . “ LEO (gently) Sing for us later, Hattie. We’ll need your help with a plan to get ready for the inspectors. Starting right now. SMART (sarcastic) So if we are not breakin’ out, then what is your big plan, Mr. Trustee? LEO We are going to have to save our home ourselves! BEAUTY (hearing this announcement she quickly moves out of phone booth�"tries to find more scraps of paper, tears out more blank pages in backs of paper backs on shelves)
PATIENTS, PATIENT ENSEMBLE (all speaking at same time) Save our home? . . . How? . . . Alone, all by ourselves? . . . What would we do? . . . Who would believe us? . . . Save Mental Central ourselves? SMART (angry-stands up) You and your big ideas! . . . (mockingly) Leo, you got delusions of grandeur. That’s what the newspapers said about you. Oh, I looked up your arrest in the newspapers archives. On the Internet. Your big ideas are what landed you in here! Businessman? No way! You were writing bad checks, charging big bucks on credit cards … stashing your hookers in four star hotels. You got lucky�"I’ll say that. (laughs) You hit pay dirt, didn’t you? Prostituting that senator’s daughter! She got scared when some of your girls went missing. Told her daddy on you! And everybody knows he paid those slick lawyers to keep her name out of it, and to say you were insane! How many did you murder? You really are insane, Leo (complete silence in the room . . . 4-5 beats ) LEO (walks over to Smart-they face each other- his voice is steel-like, calm ) Well, where you got to go, Smart? Huh? Who’s out there waiting for you to come home and live with them? (he holds Smarts' eyes with his own) ( complete silence in room . . 2-3 beats ) LEO (walks away �"addresses others) I’m just trying to . . . (exasperated, change tones) Listen everybody, Mr. Zipp and his crew can’t get this place to pass inspection. They flunked the last one. And their so-called new plan … which is no plan at all … well, I told y’all about that earlier. Now, it was us who had to single-handedly save Nurse Kandi today. Wasn’t it? PATIENTS & PATIENT ENSEMBLE (talking at once) Patients saved her alright . . . We saved her. . . Yeah . . . Amen . . . Leo’s right. . . SMART (less angry) We don’t know the first thing about passing no inspections? LEO (pats the gun at his waistline) But this heater gives us a chance to try. I’m the Patient Trustee, and we got Patients’ Rights! But, did Zipp ask what we thought would help? Naw! So, why should we let them botch up the next inspection-- like we know they will . . . make us lose the only home some of us have had for years?
BEAUTY (moves about room , continues to write on scraps of paper) GAMBLING GREEN For sure, Smart, the Chief of Police wasn’t ready to tackle Nurse Kandi’s rescue! LEO (excited now that others are really coming around) Exactly! But now . . . we have a choice. I say we take a chance on us. SMART Your head is so damn big, Leo. (motions to the others) If y’all fall for this crazy stunt we’ll end up in prison forever. LEO Not true, Smart. We all know one thing for sure: Ain’t nobody singing up in here! Not Mr. Zipp, and we know we ain’t tellin’! Look, Smart, Mr. Zipp can not turn us in for rescuing Nurse Kandi! He can’t even say I copped the Chief’s pistol! You think he’d cut his own throat? The governor would turn Mr. Zipp out in the cold! Then they prob’ly would close up Mental Central. Then where we gonna run to? HECTOR We take the bus, Leo! LEO (regards Hector patronizingly) Too many of us to not get noticed tryin’ to board a bus. Some of us can’t even take care of ourselves. Or manage a grocery store or a bank trip. And where would we live? Mr. Tiggner just told you how the homeless shelters work. Just look at us. We’re a raggedy looking bunch. You’re still young, Hector.
BEAUTY (moves about room, finding and writing on scraps of paper) HECTOR You got keys! Let me out then! MR. TIGGNER (thinking, planning out loud) The homeless shelters will be escorting me to their exit door after breakfast . . . . the public library . . . new rules there , too . . . I’ll just have to walk the streets all day . . . let me think . . . ahhh I remember . . . my real dilemma . . . the shelter won’t guarantee my same cot every night. I’ll just have to hide from those men in blue . . . how they hassle one about sleeping in the parks and under bridges. LEO Everybody, don’t forget why we’re in this forensics unit. Some judge sent us here for a crime. That includes you, Hector. On the outside, we’d be fugitives from the law. What would we use for money? We don’t have credit cards, or checkbooks, or cash . . . SMART (demonstratively) Man, they use what’cha call debit cards now. And, ATMs. You slide this little card in a box. And WHAM! Cash money rolls outta this little slot! It’s tied right into your bank account! LEO (annoyed) Whatever, Smart! The point is, the world is a different place than it was five, ten and fifteen years ago. It would take some of us months to learn how to live outside of Mental Central. Saving our own home will be what you call a win-win: A win for us and a win for Mr. Zipp! That, if y’all think about it .. is the bottom line! (addresses Mr. Smart) Much as I hate to admit it … Smart . . I . . . we need your computer skills to pull this off tonight. We can’t do anything without you. Man, help us . . . and yourself. (there is a long pause �"2-3 beats) SMART (sighs loudly, puffs his cheeks with air, blows from his mouth, then nods OK) LEO (Leo walks over to Smart�"extends his hand-- they shake hands in agreement�"bump shoulders) PATIENTS & ENSEMBLE ( loud cheer, clapping, as Smart indicates he will help) LEO Is everybody else ready to help keep Mental Central open? PATIENTS & ENSEMBLE (shouting) Yes! . . .Hell yeah! . . . Let’s do it! . . . BEAUTY ( pushes up her sleeve , writes on her arm )
TIGGNER I know at times Leo, I don’t think too clearly. Forget things. But you all treat me nice here. You’re my only comrades�"my chums. I’ve lived on the street for up to a year, slept under the stars. Gazing at the North Star in the constellation was wonderful on warm summer nights. But, I’m old now, almost 71 years old. I need heat for my old bones when it’s cold. Sometimes I even forget my McTiggner Irish Potato wholesale company went up in smoke . . . gone. . . in the blink of an eye! .. . I only meant to set one little fire . . . just get enough insurance funds . . . needed to pay off my back taxes. Alas, the boys in blue labeled me that horrid word . . . arsonist. I feel sad that I can’t cook in my McTiggner restaurants anymore. I’m welcome here. So, I’m with you, Leo. I’ll do whatever it takes to stay with my chums. ALL PATIENTS Good for you! . . . Great, Mr. T. . . .You’re with it today, Mr. Tiggner HECTOR (tearful, wipes his eyes) Leo, I don’t think of here as my home�"not for the rest of my life. I don’t even feel safe here most of the time. (frustrated) There’s gotta be a second chance for me. I mean … I didn’t kill nobody! (somber) I just thought you and me were leaving this place together. Guess I thought wrong. OK. Tell me what you want me to do. LEO (gives Hector a half-hug, handshake) Ya’ll know I was painting in the hallway during Mr. Zipp’s meeting. Heard ‘em discussing stuff they should’a been fixin’ around here. Anyway, after they left, I got hold of the last State inspection report. BEAUTY (hearing mention of report �"rushes over to Leo) Could I take a look, Leo . . . uh, for my story research? LEO (hands report to Beauty, shakes his head) Just don’t lose it. (returns speaking to Smart) Way I see it, we can get real creative … fix the things on this list! Smart, you’ll need to order some stuff online. Have it delivered starting immediately. Think you get hold of Mental Central’s credit card number, Smart? BEAUTY (returns to phone booth�"rapidly turning report pages and writing notes) SMART Hey, man. I can hack into the Federal Reserve Bank if I want. Mr. Pincher’s computer system has nothin’ but kindergarten software. (laughs) Heck! I’ve been in his files plenty times. Like the other day . . . for Rosemary’s stock buy . . . I needed a few dollars to invest myself. I’ll enjoy this! I’ll buy us some state of the art laptops, programs n’ stuff … not that crap Mr. Pincher must pick up at yard sales! (stands up) I’ll go boot up. (computer is in a corner of Dayroom) LEO (laughs) Damn, Smart! Your big speech about me snatchin’ the minutes off Zipp’s computer! And here you’ve been tapping into Mr. Pincher’s “kitty” . . . for how long now?! Smart, you really are a space cadet. SMART (boastful) Hacker extraordinaire is all ya’ll need to know about me! (laughs) LEO Cool, Man. (walks to Lilly) Ms. Lilly, you’re artistic. How ‘bout decoratin’ the Dayroom and bedrooms? Just give Smart your list. You know … wall pictures, nice furniture, televisions. Ms. Twister said that’ll help sidetrack the inspectors. I don’t buy that, but the place looks likes like a pig sty so we may as well fix it up. MS. LILLY (animated �" up on her feet) Oh my! We need so much to make it lovely! Pastels everywhere! Not all white and vulgar like that one-color white house my son . . . the president . . . lives in. We’ll get bright vinyl sofas, sturdy bookcases, reclining chairs. We’ll get matching, designer linens in our bedrooms. Real dining room seating! Not those hard plastic chairs! This is soooo exciting! LEO Ms. Lilly, we’ll see to it [pats his gun in his waistline] Ms. Twister reviews your list. We don’t wanna buy stuff someone could use to hurt themselves or somebody else. She said the inspectors check for things like that. Gambling Green, make a list of equipment . . . new kitchen appliances . . . Food tray ladies’ll like that! BEAUTY (leans out of phone booth ) Can you order some self-help videos about medication side effects? And about types of mental illness? Maybe I’ll find out why I started behaving so . . . well you know what I mean . . .
LEO Good idea. We could all use some updated info … especially about the meds. Smart, find us some easy-to-read pamphlets�"none of that high-falutin’-doctor-level stuff. MS. HATTIE Since we are staying, Ms. Beauty, a new wig wouldn’t hurt. BEAUTY (steps out of booth -- smiles�"touches her wig) Really? What color? PATIENTS, PATIENT ENSEMBLE (shouts) Purple! Black! Red! Blonde! Brown! Pink! Afro! BEAUTY Ms. Hattie, you order me a new one, okay? (laughs--steps back into booth) MS. HATTIE (pats her head protection �"very pleased �" as if she’s converted Beauty) (HATTIE SINGS FROM A JOYFUL GOSPEL TUNE)
GAMBLING GREEN Get some good movies, too, Smart . . . the ones advertised in those old magazines (points to shelves). MS. LILLY I get might thirsty . . sometimes in middle of the night . . but the water fountains all disappeared. GAMBLING GREEN That’s ‘cause of Mr. Tiggner’s roommate, remember, Smart? MR.SMART (just nods-concentrating on computer) GAMBLING GREEN Water fountains ‘round here missing now cause that roommate overdosed one night drinking too much water from it. Called it water toxicity. Caused he had bad sugar diabetes and make him thirsty all the time. But he didn’t know it. Staff didn’t know it either but they should have . . .
HECTOR Law says the staff sure shoulda’. I know the law. MS. LILLY A cultured lady like myself, reduced to cupping my hands . . drinking at the bathroom sink in the middle of the night (shudders) Well, it’s just awful, I tell you. Not to mention unsanitary. Wouldn’t it be in good taste, Mr. Green, to get new fangled ‘frigerators with water and ice dispensers on the doors?
GAMBLING ?GREEN You’re right! You’d think Mr. Zipp’s staff would’ve figured out by now how to get us water ‘round the clock. Patients wouldn't die from constipation if they had enough water all day. Tell you what, Ms. Lilly, we’ll buy ten thousand cases of bottled water and those new fangled refrigerators. You got that, Smart? LEO Order housekeeping carts that lock, too, Smart. Mr. Zipp said that’s one reason they failed the last inspection. Patient grabbed a bottle of bleach . . . or something . . . from a housekeeper's unlocked cart. (sorrowful tone) Swallowed some … trying to commit suicide. SMART Slow down . . . I’m a stock trader . . . not a secretary!
HECTOR At the police station we had a coffee pot going all day and night. Order us a big coffee urn, Gambling Green. Even if we can only have DeCaf. GAMBLING GREEN: Now ya’ll know I hav’ta to get something for some friendly wagering around here. Pool sticks would be too dangerous for somma’ y’all. But an Air hockey table would do the trick. MS. LILLY Oh yesss! And, that table can double as our special holiday dining table! Y’all remember? When Nurse Kandi uses my holiday figurines. Won’t Halloween be here soon? MR. TIGGNER A newspaper subscription that lasts all year would be nice. I try to keep up with the baseball, soccer and rugby scores. Oh, fiddlesticks! Wait a moment … I can’t think. Um … not rugby . . . it’s football that I mean to say, isn’t that it? LEO Handy man, Hector, you’re in charge of all the repair and paint jobs round here. These holes in the walls and ceilings … gotta’ go! Including the one we made today saving Nurse Kandi. (calls out ) Hey, Smart, find a painter and plumber to come tonight. Those toilets and sinks gotta’ to be unstopped. Hospital will just have to pay overtime. HECTOR Cracks and broken tiles in the showers and bathrooms … I could fix myself, Leo. LEO Hector, there’s no time to lay the tile yourself. Tell you what. You can supervise the repairmen so the job is done right how you want. BEAUTY (spreads out on floor of Dayroom --organizing her notes between pages of a magazine)
HATTIE Do I have a job, Leo? LEO How about putting together the group therapy schedules, Ms. Hattie? Put ‘em on the bulletin board. Beauty, could help you write out what groups meet which day? MS. HATTIE (miffed, figuring she can handle her job solo) How’s she gonna’ help me?! She’s stuck in some kinda dream ‘bout bein’ a spy news reporter. Humph. Look at her over there… all spread out on the floor! (points) . . . around here scribbling on book pages and such! Praise Jesus! Mr. Smart’s right; Ms. Beauty needs back on her medication! LEO (kindly placating) Aw, let her help you, Ms. Hattie. ‘Cause your big job is to lead the music therapy group. Hold some music meetins’ round the clock on inspection day! Every patient here will be singing up in Mental Central! HATTIE But who’ll write in our charts, Leo? The music therapist always does that. LEO Good question. (thinks a few seconds) I know exactly who--the person who shoulda’ made sure the psychiatrists were writing in our charts in the first place: Good old Dr. Dither. Whatever you need him to write [pats his gun.]�"or else! MS. HATTIE What in the world would I say leading a music therapy group? LEO Just sing �"don’t say a word. MR. SMART (yells from computer) Hey, Leo, I found one of those temporary nursing agencies Ms. Twister uses. I’ll order some nurses and aides to help Ms. Hattie. What’dya say? LEO In the words of a man I know too well, (uses thumb �" points at Conf. Rm) “. . . sounds like a plan!”. (laughs �" changes tone�"gentle ) Now see, Hattie�"those temporary agency professionals can lead some real therapy sessions for us! Talk about our medicine side effects, substance abuse, legal issues, anger management. Whatever we need the inspectors to see! MS. HATTIE. (suddenly excited) Oooooh, now you takin’ me back in time, boy! When I first came to Mental Central we had wonderful groups. Grief and loss, do-mestic violence …Now my husband ? (laughs) He knew better than to try to whip me! We learned how drugs and alcohol makin’ us sick . . . in our heads. (she laughs). But, those classes were too late for me since too much Crown Royal is what led to my coming here . . . and my black outs . . . Kinda made the blood rush to my head . . .(looks in her purse) That’s why I take BC (upset) Oh, no! Ya’ll used up all my BC Headache Powders makin’ Nurse Kandi’s snowstorm! What am I gonna do now?!! (all wound up to cry) LEO Nurse Kandi will havta’ get you some more. MS. HATTIE (satisfied with Leo’s comment, immediately shuts down impending ‘tear fest’) OK. Now what was I saying? Oh, yes, groups. We even had meetins’ on how to use our leisure time (laughs). As if we’d ever get out to have any. Nurses went on and on about medication side effects. We’d say, “Nurse, that’s what I have! (fidgets & hop around crazily)” Or somebody’d say, “Nurse, I’m talkin’ too slow …”. (actually talks slow) Didn’t mean a-hill�"a- beans to ‘em. Still got the same drugs everyday. HECTOR They don’t ever listen. My tongue’s dry and cracked. (sticks out his tongue) Doctor won’t change my meds. Claims she’s gettin'' me ready for trial. After almost a year, I ask? . . . No answer. She said I have to take medicines forever. MR. TIGGNER Ahhh, yes, the groups . . . one after the other . . . sort of like our jobs for the day. Gave us something to do besides sit around here sleeping off our medication. Wake up, take another dose. Then another, . . .and back to sleep again. I was expecting to get cured . . . go back to my restaurant businesses. MS. LILLY So, I’m not the only one who misses those rousing discussions? A few times I declare we stumped the psychologist leading our group. (conspiratorial) He had his own psychological problem . . . if you know what I mean. (stands up) Ms. Hattie, Hector, please come help me pick my best Halloween pumpkin figurines. HECTOR & HATTIE & MS. LILLY -(EXIT dayroom) MR. TIGGNER I guess I’m too old to be in your plan, huh, Leo? Come on, I can do something to help. LEO You say you owned and cooked in your restaurants. I was thinking you would write out the correct menus �"you know. With the right amount of fruits and vegetables and meats for every meal. MR. TIGGNER Variety. Nutritious. Well balanced meals. LEO Yeah! That’s the word Mr. Zipp used-- variety. You can supervise some patients who can help you. Have Smart locate a grocery store that’ll deliver tonight. Then y’all start cooking up a storm! Think you can handle that? MR. TIGGNER Right down my alley, Leo. (raises his body upright, proud) I can do it with my eyes shut. (conspiratorial.) Plus, I’ll fill up the pantry with some real food. Then we can eat well after the inspectors are gone. LEO That’s the spirit! BEAUTY (spreads out her notes on sofa now �"still organizing them between pages of magazines) MR. TIGGNER Uh, . . . well . . . Could I ask a favor, Leo? LEO: Anything, Mr. Tiggner. MR. TIGGNER This is kinda hard for me . . . (glancing at Beauty on sofa) LEO Just say what you wanna say, Mr. Tiggner. Time is short, we’re your friends, remember? (notices Tiggner is glancing at Beauty) Don’t mind Beauty (uses finger to make circles near his temple indication crazy). TIGGNER Well . . . I know I have�" you know, body odor. I even smell bad to myself some days. I want to bathe everyday like anybody. Just somethin’ about a bar of soap that’s unadulterated torture for me. Causes hives in my … ahem .. in my private parts. I hate those doctors ordering me to be bathed like a baby. (angry) I’m a full-grown man, Leo�" seventy-one years old. (lowers his voice). How’s about Mr. Smart placing my order for some good, liquid bath soap? I’ve seen some nice, new liquid soap advertisements. Let me recall . . .it’s a bird …(trying to recall) a hawk perhaps? Nooo. . . a dove! It’s a dove! … that’s it! Dove Liquid Soap. .And maybe a new suit . . .so I can start afresh? LEO So that’s the deal with you. Bar soap! Too bad staff never thought to ask why you were scared to bathe. MR. TIGGNER Oh, J-Rod tried persuading them to order bubble bath for me once. It worked fine. They just laughed at him. (proud) Leo, all 3,026 McTiggner restaurants provided your basic liquid hand soap before any others did. LEO Sounds like you were a cutting edge businessman just like me, Mr. T! Look, compliments of Mental Central, you can order a lifetime supply of liquid soap and a suit for everyday if you want. Just tell Smart. Tell him to order shoes and clothes for everyone! TIGGNER Yes, Sir! Mr.Trustee. (EXITS) LEO (calls out to Smart who is across the room working at the computer) Hey, Smart; come go to the conference room with me for a minute. I forgot something. LEO , SMART (unlocks the conference door�"ENTER�"Leo pointing the gun at the staff sitting around the conference table) BEAUTY (follows them, stands in doorway to listen and watch) ROSEMARY’S BOYFRIEND (sitting on a chair away from the table�"no longer wrapped in sheet) LEO Listen up, everyone. Take off your picture identification badges and give them to Mr. Smart. MR. ZIPP Our badges? . . . LT. WAIT What for? MR. PINCHER This is not right! Surely Chief you are not going to let . . .
MR. ZIPP Leo, I implore you to listen to me. I . . we all heard what you are trying to accomplish, but you need to let my staff . . . LEO (simply raises his hand holding the gun higher, refusing to talk) SMART (collects each badge) LEO (to Smart) I think you know what to do with these. SMART (laughs) LEO Y’all line up and step here. (Leo points at floor). Follow Smart through the Day room, out to The Cage. Y’all will each get a meal tray. No funny stuff. This gun is fully loaded. (stops Rosemary’s boyfriend by grabbing his shoulder) You. Rosemary’s boyfriend. You stay inside and eat with the rest of the mental patients! (yells out of the door) Hector! Come get Boyfriend. HECTOR - (ENTERS-) ROSEMARY’S BOYFRIEND (shows fear and tries to pull away as Leo pushes him towards Hector) HECTOR (takes charge of Rosemary’s boyfriend and walks him into dayroom) Oh, I haven’t forgotten how you bullied our sweet Nurse Kandi. Working you over would be fun. ROSEMARY’S BOYFRIEND (tries to run from Hector ) MR. PINCHER (grumbles aloud, indignant) I . . . I . . . I’m not eating any patient food! J-ROD (angry) Why’zat, Mr. Pincher? Too good to eat what you been dishin’ out to them, huh? We’re lucky they’re feedin’ us at all if you ask me. SMART (motions Mr. Zipp and staff to follow him to the exit door into to The Cage) LEO & SMART (Leo relocks the door leading to The Cage; both return to the Dayroom) SMART (laughing, does a little soft-shoe dance as Leo grins at him …Smart gaily whistling and swinging the badges by their neck strings) Leo patting the pistol at his waist, self satisfied expression) (LIGHTS DIMMED) (SPOTLIGHT ON PHONE BOOTH) BEAUTY (Beauty slips into phone booth �" dials ) (TELEPHONE VOICE MESSAGE) [(ZORA’S)] This is the Chance residence. Please leave a call back number. Speak clearly after the tone. BEAUTY Hi, Zora . . . it’s Mavis. Don’t worry, I’m fine�"and don’t bother trying to call me back. Something really big is happening in here. I mean really big! Jeez! Talk about getting a story from the inside! I could never have imagined the patients would take over . . . no, I’d better not talk details on your answer machine. As for my plan�"you know what I mean thanks to you�"I’m not terrified anymore. . . But I’m getting this story before I leave . . . my conscious won’t let me until I do . . . I owe Chet and you that much. Like you, I’ve seen with my own eyes why patients die at Mental Central. And that’s the story I’m gonna’ write! We’ll talk real soon. ACT III-9__MR. ZIPP & STAFF IN 'THE CAGE’/ FENCED AREA MR. ZIPP (takes a few bites of food) Mmmm. This is good. I’m hungry. Mr. Pincher, you’d better eat up. We may not get ... MR. PINCHER (interrupts, angry) It, it, it should be delicious! From what we overheard they’re, they’re having restaurants deliver all kinds of, of , of food . . . spending, stealing every dime we, we . . . CHIEF (defensive) Don’t look at me! Not much Lt. Wait and I can do to end this situation. Part of that is your fault, Mr. One-gun-must-account-for-eight bullets-penny Pincher! LT. WAIT I ditto that! MS. TWISTER What we all need to remember is that Trustee Leo’s grandiose thinking is part of his mental illness. He’s unpredictable�"he’s become a legend in his own mind. It’s no telling what he’s capable of doing with a gun. MR. ZIPP (finished eating, wipes mouth) I’m worried about some of the patients who can’t think�"who’re believing in Trustee Leo�"being manipulated by him. NURSE KANDI I know this may sound absurd . . . and I know Leo is wrong . . . I don’t support what he’s doing, but it is the first time some of these patients have believed in themselves�"in their ability to do anything in years. Our eavesdropping showed us that . . .Leo’s giving them feelings of self-worth . . . confidence. I think we’ve failed to use an effective treatment program to instill those feelings. MR. ZIPP (raises his voice, blaming) All I know is I’m about to be embarrassed! By the governor! This is somebody’s fault! (lets his eyes roam over them) You can believe I plan to take the appropriate action when this is over! . . . Somebody say something! (he waits)
J-ROD I know you’re not asking me, Mr. Zipp, but what good is training aides like me? How you gonna’ do a procedure that needs two of us aides? We’re always short on staff. MR. ZIPP Always? What do you mean, always? J-ROD (looks to Kandi, then Twister for support; encounters silence.) Look, I don’t wanna’ get nobody in trouble . . . MR. ZIPP (annoyed) We’re all in trouble already. Say what’s on your mind, J-Rod. (looking up at the fenced ceiling.) It’s still a free country . . . speak . . . even if we are caged like animals in this god-awful fenced area. J-ROD See, if a patient begins to fight staff, or another patient, Ms. Twister’s policy and training says at least two employees havta’ to do a ‘take-down’ on violent patients. How am I supposed ta' do that by myself? MR. ZIPP (turns to Twister) But you’ve always insisted we are fully staffed according to policy standards, Ms. Twister. J-ROD Staff is always absent . . . always getting hurt�"pulled muscles, broken noses, hurt backs . . . out of work for days, weeks. MR. ZIPP (a ‘light bulb moment’ for him) So, those hiring freezes I, uh, Mr. Pincher and I . . that we made on paper. . to cut the budget . . . those cuts really reached down to the level of our actually having enough employees? MS. TWISTER (quickly defensive) But the minimum staffing standards are always met. I make sure we meet the minimum. That’s the best I can do when you and or Mr. Pincher put us on those hiring freezes every time I turn around MR. ZIPP (head in his hands) There is no way we will pass this next inspection. DR. DITHER Leo seems to think we will pass because he will just force us to meet and talk with the inspectors. You all saw how he forced me to review and sign off on patients medical charts for Ms. Hattie. Music therapy is not adequate therapy treatment for this unit. His plan is downright ludicrous! NURSE KANDI (trying to persuade them) We have to face what we have not done if we are going to turn Mental Central around. The truth is each patient should have had specific treatment goals. It’s federal policy. MS. TWISTER (bossy) I’m the go-to policy person, Nurse Kandi. NURSE KANDI Yes, ma’am, Ms. Twister. But, if one patient had appendicitis we wouldn’t send all the patients to the hospital for appendectomies. Dr. Dither, Ms. Twister, don’t you both think staff is right now trying to role model for inspectors what they’ve been getting . . . basically, “gang, not individualized treatment” --all day. What did we expect? J-ROD Patients sure write us enough times on those surveys I haveta’ collect and tally. Every month I send copies to you, Mr. Zipp, and Ms. Twister. Patients write about what’s wrong. Don’t ya’ll ever read ‘em? Why collect them if you don’t? (starts flipping through his clipboard) Here. I‘ve still got some. (hands out sheets of paper to each of them) Read for yourselves what they think of this place. ZIPP & STAFF (all read for 2-3 beats) MR. ZIPP (thoughtful) Hmmm. Reading these�"after overhearing them earlier. They write so, so . . . NURSE KANDI (interrupts) So, raw; sooo from their heart.
MR.ZIPP The brutal honesty of their words . . . it's almost touching . . MS. TWISTER (disgusted, loses control �" stands up) It's whining, whining, whining ! That’s what I read in these surveys. My nursing staff is here morning, noon and night with them. (points to Dither) Not the doctors, not the social workers, not the psychologists, not the lab or x-ray, or housekeeping staff. Patients curse us, fight us, bite us and lie about us. They refuse their medications and having their blood drawn. They throw the furniture and break the televisions over and over. Nurse Kandi and J-Rod you seem to be forgetting how manipulative, hostile, aggressive and frightening some of them are. NURSE KANDI (pushes her survey paper in front of Twister) Ms. Twister, I’m just trying to point out we need to honor their rights to get medical and mental treatment of their conditions in here. . . not just custodial care. Listen to this one. (looking at her paper) She wants more time with her psychiatrist. Another �"a pregnant cocaine user�"wants to get into a drug program for rehabilitation before she delivers her baby. And this man is asking that on weekends we keep urine off the floors so he doesn’t fall. Those things don’t cost more money. Why don’t we have all types of employees�"not just nurses-- on duty . . . twenty four hours a day seven days a week? MS. TWISTER (bullying) Are you contradicting me, Nurse Kandi? I said we meet minimum. You seem to have lost your perspective. Just because we are being held hostage doesn’t mean I can’t fire you. NURSE KANDI Ms. Twister, I have held my tongue long enough . . . because I love (stops herself from confessing) . . . because I really love working with all my patients. But, you have not wanted to listen to anything new or different. Not when I, or any of the other nurses working on other hospital units have made suggestions. I talk to those nurses �" and we compare notes. MS. TWISTER (angry) Nurse Kandi . . . NURSE KANDI (holds up palm of hand) Let me finish, please. We don’t feel like we have any control over our units or our staff scheduling. Think about this: We’ve been held hostage on this Forensics unit for almost two full shifts today, but we have not heard a single unit paging for you. Now why do you think that is? It is not because we don’t need you; it is because we need you for complicated, supervisory issues. Not for you to look over our shoulders all day long for routine nursing work. I am not the real charge nurse of forensics, you are!. So, you know what, Ms. Twister? (stands up) I will not, as you claim, contradict you ever again because I quit! (takes off her nurse’s cap and walks over to the fence, her back to everyone)
MR. ZIPP (angry at Twister) Nurse Kandi, I do not accept your resignation. I am the head of Mental Central. You come right back here. Ms. Twister, she is still the Forensics charge nurse! MS. TWISTER (deflated) NURSE KANDI (walks back to table�"wipes eyes) MR. PINCHER For, for once I agree with Ms., Ms. Twister. They should have thought before they, before they, they, they became criminals. LT. WAIT Mr. Pincher’s right. The penitentiary is where they are all headed after this gun fiasco. (turns to Chief) I got a hot date tonight, Chief. Fine, older honey. (looks around--fearful) It’s getting kinda’ late. Are we going to have to sleep out here in the dark, Chief? CHIEF Be a man, lieutenant! I’d bet my retirement pension you’re going to miss that date tonight. MS. TWISTER (defensive, but speaks politely) Listen to this one -- writing to ask for a lawyer! Well, I am sure all of you would agree that it certainly is not my nursing staff’s job to help them find new trial lawyers to get their charges dismissed. DR. DITHER You’re right, Ms. Twister. (reading from his papers) What I’m reading is the rambling of psychotic patients. J-ROD They are supposed to be psychotic in here, Dr. Dither. Whada’ ya’ll expect? (shakes head) Who’s really the insane around here? DR. DITHER My doctors�"they don’t need patients’ giving absurd instructions. (he reads from survey, mocking tone) ‘Tell the doctors not to medicate me so I can think’. ‘Don’t ignore me.’; ‘Check the lump in my breast.’ ‘I need a laxative.’, ‘I missed my period for two months.’; ‘Just get me a vet.�"at least they care about dogs’. (in his regular voice) Patients are the patients here! MR. ZIPP (weakening, flip-flopping) J-Rod . . . now . . . some of their statements do put down all the fine work our doctors do. . . J-ROD What I’m trying to say, Sir, is some of the patients are not insane all the time. Some are clear as a bell some days. Like Mr. Tiggner and Mr. Hector. Some even have college degrees. Lost big paying jobs and their insurance. But even with their mental illness . . . with their crimes . . .deep down they know . . .know when they’re not being treated right in here . . . not getting no dignity, no respect, no compassion. Oh sure, they’ve committed some pretty bad crimes�"even murder . . . but isn’t this a hospital . . . not a prison? (gets up) Maybe prison would be better-- at least they might get out on parole one day. (walks to fence, turns his back) MS. TWISTER (off on a tangent) Well, I think we need to buy some computer software . . . input the patients’ survey comments . . . establish a quality of care committee . . . develop benchmarks . . . outcome measures . . .target patient trends. . . Dr. Dither I think you’d agree that for the future . . . MR. ZIPP (interrupts) Ms. Twister! . . . we may not have a future . . . you and Dr. Dither have been in charge all along . . . you could have showed the committee’s work to these new inspectors. Everything is too late. (desperate) The rest of my life is in the hands of patients who think . . . even while hearing voices and seeing things that are not there . . . that they have a better chance of pulling off the passing of the inspection than we professionals do. I just hope they are right!! DR. DITHER (disbelieving) Well, surely you don’t think they could possibly get the facility to pass . . . MR. PINCHER If, if, money is a factor, it sure looks like they are making great headway. We, we won’t have a penny left to spend when this is over. J-ROD But from what we overheard, they are just buying what we shoulda’ been getting ‘em all along. NURSE KANDI I’m sorry, Ms. Twister . . . if it sounds like I am ‘talking out of school’ but I need to say this. I’ve been here seven years . . . charting in records, going to meetings, and giving medications . . . that’s the bulk of what I do. But, we know patients in mental hospitals rarely need hands-on-direct nursing care�"like changing surgical dressings. So, if I am not talking to, and not listening to, or not observing my psychiatric patients why am I . . . a psychiatric registered nurse. . . even here? I don’t have the answer. Do you, Ms. Twister? MS. TWISTER (broken, sad tone �"pauses 1-2 beats) No, you’re not talking out of school, Nurse Kandi. Teaching old fools maybe, but not talking out of school.
ALL STAFF (silent pause-- long beat) J-ROD (wishful) Well, maybe the patients can pull this off . . . I sure hope so . . .
MR. PINCHER (voice raised) Hogwash! DR. DITHER Those inspectors will not be fooled by window dressing. MR. ZIPP Sounds exactly like what we’ve been doing for years, doctor�"window dressing. LT. WAIT ( as usual, inappropriate) (laughs) But we got busted this last time, huh, Mr. Zipp! (no one else laughs, silence causes Wait to squirm in his seat) MR. ZIPP (angry, disgusted) If these federal inspectors ever see these patient surveys it wouldn’t take much for them to 'peel back the onion' and read between the lines. . . . and accuse us administrators of committing fraud on them and the patients.
PINCHER, TWISTER, CHIEF, DITHER, WAIT, KANDI (shocked, in unison) Fraud!? DR. DITHER That’s a mighty strong word.
MR. ZIPP What else do you call what we’ve done to get passing marks from inspectors year after year, doctor? CHIEF Basically, from a criminal point of view, sir, . . . I’d say we used whatever means necessary: Deception, scamming, conning, bribery, faking records, covering up, lying . . . MR. ZIPP (interrupts ) Exactly! Fraud! Lt. Wait’s right . . . those last inspectors looked deeper and they didn’t buy our snake oil. DR. DITHER (disgusted -angry) So you have just resigned yourself to the patients’ debacle, Mr. Zipp? MR. ZIPP They have a gun, we are their hostages; we’re in charge and we’ve have loss control of the facility for which we are totally responsible. And, if we tell, we will all get fired. What other choice do we have? DR. DITHER (defiant) As a doctor I must and I will refuse to follow their instructions. When we meet with the inspection team I will find a way to get a message to their lead psychiatrist that we are being . . . MR. ZIPP (angry) Oh no you will not! When are you going to ‘get it’, Dr. Dither? Who is really insane here? We are at the patients' mercy. You will not tell those inspectors a damn thing! The real question for us is going to be what if the patients pull it off. What we need to be concerned about is what if ---by some miracle---the inspectors actually pass Mental Central under Trustee Leo’s leadership. How will we ever get control of this place again? Think about that! ALL STAFF (they all look at one another �" silence a few beats -2-3)
CHIEF I haven’t said much. All this arguing and blaming, or worrying if the patients’ pull it off�"none of that will matter. MR. ZIPP Now what, Chief? CHIEF It seems to me ya’ll have overlooked the most important fact: Our real problem is that woman, the one named Beauty�"the self-identified ‘stool pigeon’ �" said she’s a newspaper reporter�"that she broke in Mental Central pur �"pose -ly to get the goods on us. I’d say she got ‘em today. She’s the one who can shut us down. Whoever she is--she can sing up in here like a mocking bird. (LIGHTS TO BLACK) (FENCED CAGE �" IT IS THE NEXT MORNING) MR. PINCHER (angry) I can’t believe they kept us out . . . out here all night in this, this, this, cage. MR. ZIPP Calm down, Mr. Pincher. We heard hammering and other activity in there all night. And, Leo explained they’re getting the unit . . . MR. PINCHER (interrupts-anger erupts) Leo explained! Leo explained? I, I, I, can’t believe my ears! You’re defending the antics of a, a, a crazy man? I’m outraged! DR. DITHER (snippety ) So am I. That painting and purchasing is one thing, but we are the administrators! We have to get ready for those inspectors today. My briefcase. My files. My notes . . . (door to “The Cage” suddenly opens �" HECTOR ENTERS)
HECTOR Morning, everyone. Uh . . . Leo say --you to come Inside-- get changed before the inspectors show up. (he hands each one a wrapped package) Hope these fit. Follow me. (he holds door open) “NEW” LIVING ROOM �" ALL ENTER FROM CAGE : ZIPP & STAFF (audible gasp at dramatic changes to Dayroom) NURSE KANDI Ohmygod! The Dayroom is beautiful!
HECTOR Not the Dayroom no more, Nurse Kandi. (proudly) It’s our Living Room!
J-ROD I never imagined it could look like this! MS.TWISTER (wagging her finger in Pincher’s face) See, I told you so, Pincher. HECTOR Ms. Twister, Leo wants you to check around. Make sure nothing here the inspectors might think is dangerous. You can do that after you get changed. MS. TWISTER More than happy to, young man. DR. DITHER (whining) Well, spending money is not the only thing that needs to happen. .. MR. ZIPP But, it is definitely a start, (sharply) isn’t it doctor? (raises voice) Mr. Hector, thanks to all the patients who helped get us to this point. The uh . . . Living room . . . is outstanding. Now would you get Leo so we can get ourselves in position to greet the inspection team? LEO, SMART, LILLY, BEAUTY, GREEN, TIGGNER, HATTIE (ENTER- new Living Room from Conference Room) LT. WAIT (excited, yelling) Chief! Chief, look! They’re us! They’re us! Those are our badges! They’re wearing our badges! With our names, Chief! CHIEF (rushes over to inspect Ms. Lilly’s badge) Well, I’ll just be damned! Why, I should arrest you for impersonating an officer! MS. LILLY I’ll have you know you are to address me as Chief. (spins around quickly, hides behind Gambling Green) LT. WAIT (whips out his note pad begins walking around writing what he sees on Ms. Lilly and everyone’s badge) That’s a crime�"impersonating a police officer. Uh, right, Chief? (MS. LILLY, and CHIEF speak at the same time) : MS. LILLY (peeking from behind Green) No! CHIEF Yes! LEO (opens jacket to show he still has the gun �" pats it) Calm down, Ms. Lilly. We don’t have to be scared of them anymore. (looks at Pincher) Ain’t no fun when the patient’s got the gun, huh Mr. Pincher? MR. PINCHER (points at Leo while looking at Zipp) I . . . I . . . I . . . can’t believe it! They’ve put our names but their pictures on our badges! DR. DITHER And that. . . that. . . numbers runner person, Gambling Green, is impersonating me . . . a licensed psychiatrist! (gaining a bit of muster) Mister, that is an indefensible crime! MS. TWISTER ( takes a few steps to get a better look at Smart’s badge) This is all illegal! A man wearing my name badge? A WHITE man! This is beyond simple identity thief. This is racial and gender identity theft! MR. PINCHER (laughing) Well, well, now. Looks like somebody finally twisted you around for a change, Ms. Twister! NURSE KANDI Oh, Ms. Twister! I hope we won’t have to report the patients’ impersonations to our licensing board. MS. TWISTER (anger) Don’t be ridiculous, Nurse Kandi! You know nursing without a license is a crime. Indeed, I shalll report! DR. DITHER (whining) Well, what about arresting the one pretending to be a doctor? Doctors are much more important than . . . . . LT. WAIT Chief, do we have to arrest the doctor and the nurse impersonators, too? That’ll just make more paperwork for me! The longer they keep this up, the more crimes they’ll commit. (begrudgingly flips opens notepad, groans as he writes) CHIEF (disgusted at all of them) Arrest them, Lt. Wait? Did an overnight miracle occur that put the gun back into your holster?
LT. WAIT (shamed, lowers his head, resumes writing) MR. ZIPP (fed up, ready for answers) Leo, what is the meaning of you all wearing . . . ? LEO Mr. Zipp, ya’ll need to hurry up and change into your outfits. Then you’ll get your assignments. MS. TWISTER (indignant) I don’t know about you all, but no one is going to pretend to be me! I have a license to protect. DR. DITHER As do I! And, a fine reputation, too. This has gone too far, Mr. Zipp. Too damn far! (weakly) Uh, excuse me, Sir. MR. PINCHER Assignments? (angry, looks to the heavens) I’m in a, a, madhouse! It’s a nightmare! I’ll not, not, not be taking orders from a bunch of . . LEO (interrupts--pulls the gun and presses it beside Pincher’s cheek) I wouldn’t finish that sentence, Mr. Money-Bags! I’ve spent your dough and I can spend you right here in the floor if . . . HECTOR (takes steps to get closer to protect Leo) MR. ZIPP (jumps between them all, pushing Pincher back)
CHIEF (grabs Pincher’s arms from the back to restrain him) MR. ZIPP (firmly) Mr. Pincher, you are not to open your mouth again or you are fired!
MR. PINCHER (angrily shakes off the Chief’s grip on his arms) MR. ZIPP Please, Leo, we don’t want any violence here now do we? LEO (backs down, but voice is firm, proud) No, sir. (replaces his gun in his pants waistline) I’ve been Patient Trustee for all these years. Never even been in one fight. That’s some kind of record, now ain’t it Mr. Zipp? MR. ZIPP Most definitely. (turns to other administrative staff, appealing to them to support his efforts to praise and calm Leo) And, we all appreciate you for that, Trustee Leo. STAFF ( nod in agreement except for Dr. Dither and Mr. Pincher) MR. ZIPP (waving his ‘package’ to others) We’re going to change into these clothes and wait for the inspection team to arrive. (to his staff) Uh, Staff. Then we’ll assemble in the conference room for the inspector’s meeting, and . . .
MR. SMART (interrupts) Leo, you need to tell’em, man. Stop wasting time. They don’t get it. (points to badges) MR. ZIPP Tell us what? Is there a problem, Mr. Smart? SMART Leo, if you don’t I will. It’s getting late. GAMBLING GREEN Yeah, We got business. . . . they gotta know. Those inspectors are due any minute now! LEO (annoyed �" shouts to Smart and Green) Alright! . . . . (tone kinder, calm) It’s like this, Mr. Zipp. Y’all will be changing into clothes meant for patients. They’re nice n’ fresh n’ new. (he waits for the words to sink in) . You know . . . clothes that patients are in when the jails first sends us over to Mental Central?
` ZIPP & STAFF (all exchange puzzled looks, not comprehending) CHIEF You mean jail jumpsuits? LT. WAIT But, Chief, they are orange. I don’t look good in no orange . . . CHIEF Shut the hell up, Lt. Wait! ALL STAFF (all rip open their clothing packages)
J-ROD (tears open his clothing package) They’re bonifide, county-issued, jail jumpsuits alright! TWISTER, DITHER, PINCHER (in unison) Jail suits! MR. ZIPP Surely you don’t expect professionals running this facility to meet with the inspectors in jail jumpsuits? LEO No, Sir. No, you needn’t worry ‘bout that. We . . all us patients . . . decided to completely manage everything. The inspection team’s meeting … and the inspection itself. Mental Central is home to us! I . . . we … can’t trust y’all to handle it, and we can’t handle seeing Mental Central fail another inspection. Not again. MR. SMART Leo, stop sugar-coating it! (to Zipp and Staff) Y’all will be the patients ... and we are the new and improved … Mental Central administrative staff! HECTOR Yeah! We be you . . . you be us. Simple as that. MS. LILLY (to the ‘former’ staff) That gorgeous, bright neon orange will surely help me, the new Chief , keep an eye on ya’ll! (gives a quick strut, looks them up and down … flexing). (points to her chest) The Chief! Now that would be me! LEO (strong tone) If Mental Central fails this inspection we’ll know we tried our best. That last report said it’s not just the Forensic Unit ya’ll ignored all these years. . . . BEAUTY Maybe we should take the inspectors on a full-court tour, Leo . . . .show them the other adult units too! Leo, that way, my story could be even more in depth. STAFF (silence�"exchange glances ) CHIEF (knowing gesture �"points index finger at Zipp �" shakes his head�"as if to say, I told you so) GAMBLING GREEN Give it a rest, Beauty . . . you not no real newspaper reporter. MR.ZIPP (sits, bows head in hands) Me?! Wear a jail suit? The head of Mental Central? J-ROD (walks over to Leo) Can’t you just let him wear a regular suit, Leo? LEO No! You ever hear where the buck’s supposed to stop, J-Rod? Well, it shoulda’ stopped with him! Zipp’s a zero! He let this place run itself in the ground, Man! He deserves worse than wearin’ a jail jumpsuit. Shoot! He oughta’ be under the jail! (END OF SCENE �"LIGHTS DOWN) ACT III-10__ ARRIVAL OF FEDERAL INSPECTION TEAM -CONFERENCE ROOM �" (Patients are assembled in the Forensics Unit 2 Conference Room) LEO Hector , you keep watch at the door and holler when you spot that inspection team coming! HECTOR I’m Lt. Wait, now, Leo. Not Hector. LEO (gives Hector a thumbs up motion)
MR. TIGGNER (Knocks --ENTERS the conference room) Made these myself. (has tray of goodies�"puts in middle of table) LEO We saved you a seat over there�"at the Mr. Pincher sign. (points to tent sign labeled “Budget Officer�"Mr. Pincher”) We should all be ready . . .we’ve practiced what we’ll say three times already this morning. HATTIE LOU I feel so . . . so naked without my Jesus protection up here. (nervous--pats her head) I couldn’t take any chances, Leo, so I tucked it in my sleeve. See? (pulls it out, waves it, replaces it) MS. LILLY Shouldn’t I have the gun, Leo . . . since I am the po - lice Chief ? LEO Uh (thinks quickly) . . . remember, the Chief doesn’t carry the loaded gun around the patients, Ms. Lilly. Someone could grab it. MS. LILLY Oh, yes, I had forgotten that. But I’ll remember when they ask about our overcrowded unit.. I think. Now, did we or didn’t we send patients on field trips? No. You said that was Dr. Dither’s silly idea. Oh, my, I am getting confused, aren’t I? (hops up and paces, wringing her hands in fear) Maybe someone else should be the Chief of Police ( . . . stops pacing, looks around, sighs) Oh, that’s right. There was no one else. (re-takes her seat) Let me think a moment. (she closes her eyes, speaks happy and excited) I remember. Now the staff has far more visible support than before. (smiles broadly, pleased with herself) ( ALL PATIENTS--APPLAUD HER)
GAMBLING GREEN You got it, Ms. Lilly . . . (laughs) I mean, . . . Chief. LEO We can’t go slipping up like that on our names. All we gotta do is just look at each other’s names on these tent signs here (picks up his own name “tent”) --before we open our mouths! SMART I still don’t see why I had to be Ms. Twister! (pulls at hair) . . . This wig! These stockings . . .they’re hot as hell. LEO ‘Cause, Smart, (smiling) you can answer those nursing questions! Even better than Ms. Twister herself! And … you can do that thing with your voice. You know … talk like a woman… plus, … you look a lil’ more . . uuuhhh … SMART (rises from his chair) Don’t say it, Leo! . . .If you say I look more feminine than the rest of us I will bust your lip . . . LEO Naw, now! Take it easy. Nurses have to know anatomy. You definitely smartest one of us in Mental Central on different organs and body parts. (laughs) SMART: What qualifies Gambling Green to be Dr. Dither? Doctors have to know body parts, too. I coulda’ been Dr, Dither! BEAUTY Now Mr. Smart’s got a point! (laughs) Sorry, Leo, but I coulda’ been Ms. Twister instead of being Nurse Kandi. All PATIENTS (speaking at same time) Noooo way., . . .You’re too pretty, . . . .Not in this life! MS. HATTIE And, that new wig might help you make amends with Jesus. . . Hallelujah! (raises hands upward) Yes you can! BEAUTY--(she knows she won’t be back) Listen, I just want to take a moment . . . I wanna thank you all so much . . . for everything, everything . . . I’ll never forget any of you! (spills a little water-on purpose ) Oops, I’ll run get a paper towel. We’ll need some napkins for the snacks, anyway. (excuses herself -- leave room) Just take a second … (pauses 1-2 beats �" takes a good, long look at them) EXITS �" Conference room GAMBLING GREEN Anyway, Smart, I’ve got the best memory around here . . . being a numbers runner. (points to his head) My mind is trained to be sharp! . Had to keep up with who played what number. Why, right today, I can still tell y’all what it was and who played the number on January 6th, 2001 . . . . . ALL PATIENTS 7 - 4 �" 6 GAMBLING GREEN . . . right, right . . . . over on Citico Street. . . . Mr. Link Patterson . . . won Five thousand dollars. . . . Even gave me a thousand! SMART You’re such a liar, Gambling Green . . . probably made that up just now. GAMBLING GREEN Well, I’m the only one who could read everybody’s medical chart. Din’ I memorize every diagnosis and medication for every patient in here? What their crime was, too? Couldn’t I tell y’all if the patient was better or worse? Plus what the court reports say? (boastfull) Not a single one of ya’ll could do that! Maybe you can do that computer stuff, Smart, but I got a picture-taking memory . . . SMART Aw, Green, (laughs) you can’t even remember to say photographic memory. LEO I’ll be right back. I forgot to bring the coffee pot from the Dayroom, uh, I mean the Living room. (EXITS �" conf rm door ENTERS Living Rm)
NEW LIVING ROOM - LEO (inside Living Rm, Leo grabs coffee pot/urn from nurse aide table, but suddenly turns as he hears shouting) CHIEF (shouts) Hey! Look! That’s our hospital up there on the TV . . . on the news, Mr. Zipp!
[A PHOTOGRAPH of Mavis Kirkpatrick / AKA/ Beauty FLASHES on TV ] J-ROD That looks like Ms. Beauty! . . . It is her! ZIPP, TWISTER, DITHER, PINCHER, CHIEF, KANDI, LT. WAIT, J-ROD, & PATIENT ENSEMBLE (all are staring at TV screen, frozen in silence) [[ PATIENT ENSEMBLE ]] NOTE: (quietly & quickly the 5-7 PATIENT ENSEMBLE EXIT to bedrooms�"change into shorts, t-shirts- off stage) LEO (walks over to others in front of TV -- stands frozen in silence) [ [ CHET’S PHOTOGRAPH is flashed on TV] ]
VOICE OF TV ANNOUNCER “Chet James, a local newspaper reporter, took the witness stand today and testified in court. The reason he gave for breaking into the Mental Central State Psychiatric Hospital a few weeks ago was to rescue his colleague, and fiance, newspaper reporter, Mavis Kirkpatrick.” HECTOR (ENTERS- opens door �"excited, yells into Living Room) Leo! Come on! The inspection team is at the gate! The feds are here! LEO (EXITS, runs back to Conf. Rm �" looks around the table�"shouts) Where’s Beauty?! SMART, GREEN, LILLY, HATTIE, TIGGNER, HECTOR (silently shrug in unison �"palms of hands up�"shaking heads side to side) LEO (suddenly realizing she is gone for good, that she really was a reporter, he loudly yells her name in anguish �"elongating the word) B�"e �"a�"u�"u �"t�"e �"e �"y! LIGHTS GO TO BLACK - ************************** LIGHTS BACK UP IMMEDIATELY ON EMPTY STAGE 5-7 - PATIENT ENSEMBLE (running in slow motion across stage-- Ensemble Patients �" dressed in gym shorts and t-shirts) BEAUTY (in shorts, T-shirt, runs slowly across stage a few paces behind Patient Ensemble, pulls off her wig, tosses wig away, waves both arms in air as if a winner of a race )
ALL EXIT STAGE
1. ACROSS BACK OF STAGE on DROP-SCREEN FLASHES: • MOCK UP OF A NEWSPAPER FRONT PAGE • Headline Reads: “SOMEBODY SANG” • Byline: Mavis Kirkpatrick/aka/ Beauty Boots & Chet James • Photos of Mavis and Chet 2. ACROSS BACK OF STAGE on DROP-SCREEN FLASHES: • Various AJC NEWSPAPER SERIES HEADLINES OF ARTICLES: From “HIDDEN SHAME” SERIES END OF PLAY
© 2016 jackfosterAuthor's Note
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Added on August 23, 2016 Last Updated on August 23, 2016 Tags: mental health, Georgia, health care, hospital, whistleblower |
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