Selfull helpful hints

I tend to find that my own shadow side usually expresses itself during times of great pain, stress, or other extreme or intense vectors. I imagine it is the same for some others. 

I keep coming to the conclusion that people that appear "evil" or "annoying" to me are probably either suffering more than me, are stuck in unhealthy patterns, or have not had the opportunity to discover the riches of learning and rational thought, or are just on a different path than me. 

I find it helpful to think of other people as other versions of myself, like roles I might have once played or may choose to play again. Or a time travel Q continuum game where we play all the parts (aka ala By Her Bootstraps). Or the Game of Thrones God of Many Faces, without the violent implications. 

I also find it useful to remember how stories and sports have trained us from a very young age to cultivate conflict and competition to foster drama and strength. But the greatest strength comes from cooperating with others and the most fascinating drama involves competing against yourself. 

Not that these other perspectives are reality, but simply that they foster a more compassionate state of mind. And hopefully, eventually, train us to no longer be afraid of our own shadow.