Goodbye Half Stranger

He chose to look at his own reflection rather than through the window. As the engines slowed to a dull roar an attendant's voice came over speakers and many began to shuffle about. He was patient. He had little to carry and even less standing room. These things always seemed rushed and uncomfortable and he was willing to wait and instead look over at those around him. There was a man in his 40’s next to him in a cheap suit who recently woke up and a woman a little younger who had been reading in the seat over. They did not know each other. The line was beginning to move and with his bag he finally stood up. He looked back to where a there had been a young woman with a small face and blonde hair. She was not looking at him. Her eyes were fixed through everything while something in her head distracted her. He looked forward. A moment passed and he took out his headphones when he realized the song no longer reached him the way it used to. The few in front of him stepped forward, and then he did. Walking to the door he passed a father talking to his sons who were calm. They all exited and soon became scrambled with all the other voiceless faces of the terminal.

He walked into this familiar place while hundreds of unheard stories bustled around in every direction or no direction at all. The same people were always here. As he moved further down wondering what would await him later in the day the sunlight began to cast shadows inside the building. Opposite the side of the sun there was a bar getting closer and an open chair with a woman a few years older than he with blonde hair and a baseball cap. He decided to sit down because he was afraid that there wasn’t much at the house anymore and there hadn’t been much where he came from. The bartender was quick, and he was able to order a draft as he sat down.

“So where are you headed?” She asked.

“A place about an hour from here. What about you?”

“Oh. I’m on my way to Los Angeles to visit friends from high school. I’m staying for the weekend.”

“I figured with the tan you must be from somewhere with a lot of sun. Do you live here now then?”

“Yeah, I moved here after college and now I’m getting settled. I’m working as a waitress now but I want to open a gym.”

He wanted to stay a while. It used to be an easy conversation but people of his generation had been surprisingly difficult recently to talk about the future with. It felt worth sacrificing what he planned on. An early wake up had always been a fix for repeated nights of broken talks and unmet looks. It was nice thinking that maybe some of the people might not be early birds but were just as restless as he was.

“ Not a lot of people are ambitious like that anymore.”

“Thanks. I want to go for it but it’s still risky you know?”

“It is, but once you have a family it’s probably too risky, now would be the time if you really wanted it.”

“I know, all that is still a while down the road for me but it could take a while to make all this work out right. Oh, I don’t know why I didn’t ask earlier but what’s your name?”

“Yeah we are a bit late on that.” He smiled.

She smiled too, and they gave their names like the way you give gifts and you hope that the other likes it. They spoke for about another hour. There were other conversations at the bar, most of them speaking of some other person in some other town. That was the difference because instead they talked about each other and laughed when they liked the same things.

Afterwards it was a bit curious. He was still too young to understand why alcohol brought him close to some but pushed him away from others. As he walked away from the bar, he put his headphones back in. The music sounded better this time.

The good feeling that girl left him was gone by the time he reached the baggage claim, but she was still on his mind up until it became time to board the bus. Women had a way of doing that. When it pulled up, the driver stepped off and loaded luggage before letting people on the bus. Soon the man was on and he took a seat very close to the door by the window and thought how things would look once they began moving.Outside the driver argued briefly with an old man who wanted to go home. The bus was filled. The man, looked at them for a moment and thought, grabbed his bag and stepped off the bus.

“Hey, he can have my seat.” The alcohol was starting to show.

The older man thanked him and stepped on the bus and the driver mentioned the next bus should be arriving in an hour and that he would radio to make sure the man got a seat then.

He felt good about himself and looked to sit down on against a pillar before he was startled.

“Do you live close?” A pretty voice took his attention.

“Oh, about an hour north of the city. Right by the border. Kinda near the beach.”

“You can come with me if you like then, I live near there too. That was very nice that you did.” She looked a year or two older than him with a kind face.

“I don’t think it was that.”

“So you’re from here then?”

“No, but my family lives here now. You?”

“I don’t live here either.”

They walked to her car, their shadows were stretched very far now. They sat in the car and said a few more things and they both smiled as they talked. He told her that he had been drinking and didn’t want her to be mad about anything and said thank you again for the drive.

“You’re adorable.” She said.

They reached the freeway and she had her sunglasses on because from the airport the road went directly to the sun and it was low enough to be hidden behind trees. She looked over and told him to play his favorite song, they would take turns. This made him very happy and she knew this. She took the next exit to ride a state highway on the coast. He looked at this brown haired girl driving while they each sang their songs. After only one he started playing songs that he hoped she knew the words to and then she did. He didn’t know that she was taking the longer way. For herself she drove fifteen over the limit and hit the brakes a second later than most and he liked her even more and felt excited.

“Are you in a rush to go wherever you’re going?” She asked.

“...there’s an old voice in my head that’s holding me back, well tell her that I miss our little talks..” His eyes were closed while he tapped his leg.

She squeezed his arm.

“Oh, is something wrong?” He turned the music down as quick as he could.

...soon it will be over and buried with our past

we used to play outside when we were young...

“Would you like to stop with me somewhere? I know this place where we could have drink. I’m not really ready to go back yet. I know you’re not either.” She said this hesitantly, but he smiled and looked at her for a moment and said yes whatever she would like.

….now we’re torn torn torn apart

there’s nothing we can do

just let me go we’ll meet again soon...

The windows stayed down while all their songs played and it made him sad when the car stopped and there was no light above them. There was a number of stores and restaurants on the street in front of them and as he stepped out he asked about the bar they were going to.

“I’m sure there are plenty of nice places here but I want to go along the water if that’s okay. Behind you.”

He looked back and saw a boardwalk and then the beach and he could smell the sand. She grabbed a bottle of wine from her trunk and said the drinks were free here too and they smiled and walked slowly as the waves got louder and they talked about small things. It wasn’t cold out yet. She said this spot seemed nice and looked down at the bottle to open it and then he held her face and kissed her. He stopped to look at her but she dropped the bottle down and then kissed him and then they smiled.

“You’re a lot more than just a pretty face.” He said. She squeezed him a little tighter for a moment because she didn’t have any words and she forgot for the first time in awhile that loneliness you feel at the end of a wasted day. They laid down and shared stories, some were true while others were made up adventures where they ran away together. As the bottle emptied they kept running and when it was gone they were running so fast that they forgot everything about themselves. Then they slept. He would later remember telling himself that this how things should be. When you feel young and wild and want more than what’s written in all the stories or shown in the pictures. When you aren’t afraid of anything except the sun coming up to tell you to restart.

She woke up before he did. The sun was just coming over and showed how different the beach looked during the day. She whispered in his ear to wake him, but he did not want to go.

“It’s cold out now.”

“I’ll hold you again.” He finally opened his eyes.

“It would be nice.” She said. He looked at her and saw her eyes were not the same anymore.

“I can’t stay here.” She looked away as she said this and he looked towards the water. The waves hadn’t changed.

“We could.”

“You don’t know.”

“I thought we could go swimming maybe.”

“Come on,” she said, “let’s go to the car.” They grabbed the bottle and walked back. They both listened to the waves. Everything felt so divorced.

“I love driving the way we did.” He said.

“Don’t say I’m a bad driver, that’s what everyone else says.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“That’s what they mean though.”

“None of them are here and it’s not what I meant.”

“Well what do you mean then?”

“I used to drive fast too, with my windows down and music loud at night. It was my favorite thing and no matter what happened I always enjoyed it.”

“You don’t do it anymore?”

“My headlights are broken. I thought that I fixed them but they stopped working again and everytime I get new ones they work at the store but at night they are bad and don’t work. I’m worried it’s the car”

“What do you mean?” He took his time thinking of what to say next.

“I appreciate the ride is all.”

“It’s a lot more fun with someone else who feels it all too.”

“After a while I think you need to do it with someone else.” They paused before they opened the doors. He looked at her. It was a moment before she met his eyes.

“You can’t drive me around like that again can you?” They got in the car. He started talking about music again and some of the things she liked. He tried to fight the ways things felt despite that now he knew that for her yesterday was a regret. She smiled again, like the way you would when somebody asked about your day and you say it is good when it isn’t. He played a few new songs he hoped she might like, something upbeat to get her heart going again.

Don’t you want a life like we saw on the picture show?

“I know a scenic route,” He said as he looked over at her. She moved the hair out of her face from the wind. She looked at him, then the road again.

I want a life on fire, going mad with desire

“It would be nice.”

I don’t want to survive, I want a wonderful life…

It began to rain, not fast but gentle and the mood changed and he couldn’t find the right words or pick the right songs or make the rain stop or be funny enough or have the gray light catch his face the right way or make the rain stop or make her forget the man she was already with or kiss her at the right moment or just make the rain stop. It hurt knowing the only thing he made her feel was guilt. When he got to his door his shirt was wet and his hair held water that dripped down his face.

Author's Note

biggest problem i have is the intro. I like the words and flow of the second half but the first is very dry. Initially i did this purposefully, being that i wanted their to be a switch from boring to lively but this issue is that to start that way but turn away potential readers.

Reviews

[Kathrin S]

I liked your story, it's an interesting read throughout, and I didn't necessarily feel that the first part was dry at all. It sets the scene well - there are no unnecessary parts.
For me, the ongoing theme of music helped to tie everything together. It was one of my favorite parts about the story.

Here are some suggestions. I focused on the first part especially, but I think in general, you could work on the wording of your sentences a bit.

-"who recently woke up" -> "who'd just woken up"
- You could make "The line was beginning to move" a new paragraph to break things up a bit.
- "where there had been" -> 'was' because she's still there.
- "later in the day(,) the sunlight"
- Too complicated: "Opposite the side of the sun". You could just put: "On the other side"
- "most of them speaking of" -> "most of them about" Don't make things more complex than they have to be.