Grudge

I stare into into the sky

 

watching the clouds fade

 

as the sun starts to bleed

 

I begin to fall

 

into the deepest pits of my mind

 

the encounters

 

of my earlier life

 

begin to come back to me

 

a faded swing set

 

a basement

 

a locked door

 

and everyone wonders

 

why

 

I am closterphobic

 

why

 

I hate to be underground

 

I go back

 

to a boy

 

two years older

 

pointing a gun at my head

 

and I grab it

 

and push it to my head

 

saying

 

"do it"

 

I never did care

 

kill me

 

let me live

 

it never made a difference

 

now I sit here all alone

 

those who have hurt me

 

dead

 

or dying

 

it's almost funny

 

I am the one to live

 

even after all they put me through

 

and you can bet

 

I am laughing

 

while they hurt

 

because it never made a difference to them

 

if they hurt me

 

so why

 

should their pain effect me

Author's Note

there are a few errors..... sorry