Ever and Always

She sat in the clearing waiting for him, knowing what happened to him every Wednesday night. She sat on the quilt, damp from the last rain. She knew the first aid kit was behind the oak tree. She also knew she would need it. She stared at the tree's above her. The leaves were turning golden with fall. She heard twigs snap behind her, she didn't turn."How bad is it?" Her voice was edged with razors. He limped until he was at the quilt."Bad." She turned to see him for herself. He had cuts criss crossing his face, no doubt from a jack daniel's bottle or a beer bottle. The cuts were deeper on his arms. He had deep purpling bruises on his head and chest."Were's your shirt." He grinned spliting his lip deeper."Were do you think it's at, and who do you think has it?" She turned from him."B*****d. He is such a jack-" Hey caught her arm before she slammed it into the tree."Hey now." She sighed."Lets take care of this." He sat down on the quilt while she got the first aid. She cleaned the jack daniels out of his cuts, then put butterfly bandages on them." Sorry I'm not getting a needle and thread out." He smiled." I don't trust you with this pretty face and a needle anyways." She started to stand up. He panicked." no, please. Just tonight, stay, please." She looked at him for the longest time before lying down beside him. He wrapped himself around her." Goodnight, Jenny I love you ever and always." She laughes."Don't you mean forever and always." He shook his head."Nah, I like my way better." She smiles,a sad little smile for she knows he'll leave one day. And she wants just that to happen. For him to get away from all this."I love you to. Ever and always."

Reviews

[JJKimii]

Could definitely use some editing for spelling/grammar errors.
It says that "she" is waiting for "him", knowing what happens to him on Wednesday nights. Could you elaborate on what happens because I really don't know. Was he drunk? Bar fight? What happened? Why only Wednesdays? Just a few sentences (maybe 2-5) describing the who, what, where, why, how, and how the character(s) feel about it.
She's on a quilt "damp from the last rain." Could you describe a little more about the setting? The reader knows why she's there, but not really where she even is. A little more imagery would be good. Where would he come from? Is she in a park? A clearing in a field (what kind of field)? Is this a common hangout area? How often is she here? Every Wednesday? There are so many questions that can be asked, so try to describe well enough that the reader gets a vivid image in their mind. Also, if she can see golden leaves, does that mean it's the evening with the sun out, sunset, or night with something illuminating?
She's surrounded by trees, so where is the oak? Is it in front of her? Behind? Does she ever grab the first aid? Why is there a first aid kit behind a tree of all places? Is the kit hidden or visible? Is it muddy from the rain? What is she thinking about when she looks at the trees? More details...
"Her voice was edged with razors." Does this mean malice? Coldness? Is she concerned and concealing it? How does she feel? Add a little more emotion and reason to the characters' actions.
Why does it always say "Jack Daniel's"? Why not keep it simple (rather than using name brands) and call it whiskey or spirits? I think it's more significant that he was hurt rather than what kind of bottle hit him. Focus more on the result, not so much on the materials used in the process. Actually, where did he even come from? A bar? Family fight?
What did she use to clean the cuts? Did he wince at all? Why would she say that she wouldn't use needle and thread? Stitches are used to close gaping wounds that are usually bleeding profusely, so if she didn't stitch him, did she apply pressure to staunch the flow of blood? Did she use any gauze? Just bandages? Why is she cleaning "Jack Daniel's" out of the wound? Alcohol is often used to sanitize and is therefore generally sterile... Do you think it might be better to say she cleaned shards of glass from his skin? Did she use tweezers? If it's nighttime, how did she see the wounds? Is he drunk or sober? What does he smell like?
She started to stand up, but what was she feeling? Was she angry, fuming, or faintly disappointed? What cued him that she was about to leave?
Why would she stay if they are on a damp quilt in the cold fall air? Wouldn't it be better for them to find someplace warm and safe? What's the situation? Why do they suddenly use names if they didn't for more than 90 percent of the story?
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Sorry for all of the questions, but there are so many details that I feel could be added and a few holes in the story. If you update this and would like a second review, feel free to message me^^ I know my review may seem long, but the story was really not bad at all, so good job!

[silver threaded queen]

PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!