11

She told me she needed a day before I told her anymore.
"Take as long as you need." I had answered. Because I now had to find a way to tell her of my existence without sounding completely insane.
Say it any way you can. She'll accept it. She ants you, she wants to know the real you.

~~~
As she said she would, Isibell came back the next day.
"And here I thought I had scared you away." I said as I let her in.
"I don't scare easily." She laughed.
"Hold on to that. My story is probably one you don't want to hear."
"I want to know more about you."

"I was born in New York- of course, that's not important. When I was born isn't that important either, but I'll tell you that I"m over a hundred, if that interests you. But, anyway... They- my parents- I remember overhearing them say that I was... different. I was born different. Apparently, when I came out of the womb, I didn't cry like a normal child would. I was silent. I didn't cry for most of my infant life, really; but my naïve parents put that off as me being very... awesome, for lack of a better word... But as I grew... they didn't notice this.. but I started hearing... voices. They started out quiet, but got louder day after day. Every day, they threatened to drive me insane. 'Darkness will always surround you. You'll never escape it. Embrace it, become powerful. Join us.'- that's what I heard from them, among other things. I cried more when I was three and four years old from these voices than I did when I was a baby. When I was five, though, I began to accept them, I stopped letting them bother me..." Oh, those voices... they still haunted me. "But that doesn't mean I couldn't hear them... that I wasn't listening. 'Your mother, your mother... all she ever does is condemn you, berate you. Wouldn't you like you be rid of her?'- there had been another voice... but I can't remember what it was saying, I can only hope it was telling me not to do what I did. Day after day, the voices telling me to kill my mother continued to push me. 'Use anything, use anything' they screamed at me... So at five years old... in the middle of the night, I killed my mother by stabbing her in the chest with her kitchen knife."
I heard Isibell gasp and her put a hand to her mouth as if to hold back a small scream. I took that fact that she wasn't running as an encouraging sign, and continued.
"I lived with my father only a year after that- I don't think he could take having me in the same house... he was probably afraid that I would get him next... So I was put in an orphanage. Where I stayed until I reached the age of seventeen. It was as if... whenever someone came into the place, they sensed something undesirable in me. I never came close to being adopted. No one ever even talked to me... So I was completely alone... When I turned thirteen, I began worshiping Satan, because I had thought that whatever 'God' was up there, he wasn't serving me... The time between then and the day I died- at age twenty-one- is a blur of anger, sadness, and deaths. I... can't pull out a single good even in those eight years."
"B-but... How d-did you get to be... How you are now?" She asked very quietly. When I looked at her, I saw that she had inched as far as she could from me. I almost laughed at that.
"A demon angel?"
She nodded mutely.
"Well, after listening to my life, it's obvious that I didn't go to Heaven, right?" Another silent nod. "Apparently, my behavior when I was living appealed to the lord I had been serving a majority of my short life; so he made it so I would've have to go on in eternal pain. I simply had to continue doing what I had been doing. Which shouldn't have been so hard, anyway. Unfortunately- and I don't understand this at all- my humanity caught up to me in my afterlife. I gained a conscience while I was dead and working for the devil."
"W-what did you do while you were... d-down there?" Isibell interrupted.
I groaned. "The one question I didn't want to hear... of course you ask me that."
"I'm sorry." She mumbled.
I squeezed my eyes shut, as if that would stop the pain that crashed into me. "It... doesn't matter what I did.. Just... try to name every immoral, evil thing you can... and know that I probably did much more. And much worse."
Whatever fear she had felt of me before must have vanished because she wrapped her arms tightly around me.
"Because of my ability to feel guilt, I was punished harshly... Luckily for me, The One was watching me. Our Goddess- or God to most others. She saw me and pitied me- amazingly, especially when I deserved nothing... Pitied me so much that she decided to give me a second chance and let me join her kingdom. Somehow, she thought that I was different from other dark souls... and even though I've turned away from her again and again... she still wants to call me her son, her child."
"Our Goddess forgives all." Isibell murmured, still not letting go of me. "She will always forgive you, Liam, no matter how undeserving you think you may be."
"So I've been told." I sighed as she closed her eyes and buried her face in my shirt.
Goddess, thank you for giving him to me...She thought Thank you for giving us to each other.

Reviews

[Leave me alone....]

oh.my.god. This.is.frikin.insane! i need to read more

[guiltyascharged]

Awwww my goshes.