This is probably the best part of the whole story... it goes downhill from here, in my opinion.... PROVE ME WRONG! PLEASE!!!!
Imagine an angel. Yes, simply an angel, that will do for now. The picture that comes to mind is a beautiful creature, clothed in white, with pure white wings and a halo. Oh, and we can't possibly forget the pure white light that all angels are surrounded with. Yeah, okay. Now take that picture, and keep it in mind. Don't forget it.
There was a boy- yeas, a boy- named Liam. It doesn't matter when or where he grew up, just know that he did. Early on in life, he chose a path that he really shouldn't have. When he was five, a voice in his head whispered to him that he should perhaps take his mother's cooking knife and maybe shove it through said mother's chest. There had been a small voice telling him not to do it, that it was wrong; but that voice was quickly silenced by the little five year old. Liam's dad put him in an orphanage when he was six. By then (with Liam's mom dead) he had figured out that Liam was too much of a handful and that they'd both be better off apart. Poor Liam didn't care. He spent most of his life in that orphanage- until he was let out at age seventeen- because no one wanted to adopt him. At age thirteen, he became a satanist. Oh, but he was smart... it's a shame, really, that a boy so brilliant should be so evil. If he had used his smarts for good he could've turned out a doctor, or maybe even president. Unfortunately, he wasn't going to get that far. He died at the age of twenty-one from unknown causes. Of course, he was sent to hell, where he was welcomed by Lucifer with open arms. Oh, Liam's joy at that moment. But that changed quickly. Liam's humanity finally caught up with him- in his afterlife as a demon, of all times. He grew miserable. Causing pain and misery caused him the same, but with guilt. He tried his best to hide it from his master, but he couldn't. Because of this, he was beaten, beaten so very, very badly. To the point of unconsciousness- yes unconsciousness in the afterlife. Only in hell.- every time. The beatings didn't stop the feelings he was getting; in fact, they intensified each time. His guilt morphed into regret, then the desire for a second chance. The beings above, the ones in Heaven, they saw Liam's peril. They watched him struggle. The One- some may call him God, others may call her Goddess (because they're the same being)- wanted to take him in, but it was never done before because of the risks that came with it. Eventually, Liam's pain became too much to watch. The One took him in and made him an angel.
So you remember that angel you brought up earlier? Bring him back up.
~That halo? Take it, throw it away. This angel doesn't have one. ~The wings? They're the exact opposite of pure white. Deep black, almost shiny... ~"Clothed in white"? Yeah, not him. Liam wears whatever he wants... which means lots of dark colors. ~White light? He sucks all the light from a room.
Oh, but don't worry. He is beautiful. He has to have something gong for him.
Fifteen years ago, he was assigned to a little girl named Izzy.
This is their story. His, of being redeemed. Her's of being loved. Both, of being saved.
I agree with Lizy Coale -- more expansion on the situations! Also, as per Lizy, if you want a different reason for Liam's saving, why not have him show regret and sorry through actions and words? She's right, the angels wouldn't feel bad for him if he just suffers (that's what hell's for, honey), but if he repents of everything bad he did, maybe then they would feel differently. Can't wait to read the rest!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you. :)
I wrote this years ago-- four, I think-- so it would probably be better if I cho.. read moreThank you. :)
I wrote this years ago-- four, I think-- so it would probably be better if I chose to rewrite it now.
I hope you like it. :)
11 Years Ago
That's the absolute best kind of editing. Remember the adage "If you love something, let it go, and .. read moreThat's the absolute best kind of editing. Remember the adage "If you love something, let it go, and if it comes back to you, it was meant to be." If you write something, put it away, and edit it much later, you'll approach it with a different attitude and a fresh eye -- great things will happen! Can't wait to see what you do with it!
I agree with Lizy Coale -- more expansion on the situations! Also, as per Lizy, if you want a different reason for Liam's saving, why not have him show regret and sorry through actions and words? She's right, the angels wouldn't feel bad for him if he just suffers (that's what hell's for, honey), but if he repents of everything bad he did, maybe then they would feel differently. Can't wait to read the rest!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you. :)
I wrote this years ago-- four, I think-- so it would probably be better if I cho.. read moreThank you. :)
I wrote this years ago-- four, I think-- so it would probably be better if I chose to rewrite it now.
I hope you like it. :)
11 Years Ago
That's the absolute best kind of editing. Remember the adage "If you love something, let it go, and .. read moreThat's the absolute best kind of editing. Remember the adage "If you love something, let it go, and if it comes back to you, it was meant to be." If you write something, put it away, and edit it much later, you'll approach it with a different attitude and a fresh eye -- great things will happen! Can't wait to see what you do with it!
Wow I'm deff gonna reads this! Even though it's so long I'm gonna make myself bc it sounds amazing!
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
:D
Thank you! I hope you like it
11 Years Ago
I'm sure I will. Usually I don't read storys that are this long but I love novels like this! I'm act.. read moreI'm sure I will. Usually I don't read storys that are this long but I love novels like this! I'm actually excited:D
This was an interesting beginning. I think that Izzy is a great name for the girl so no worries there. Some of the parts I did have a hardtime understanding some parts though. :S I would recommend that you re-read your intro out loud and see if you can find those parts.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Will do :)
It's been a year or two since I looked at it ^^', but I'll fix it if I can.
ok you spelled 'yes' wrong.
Great story. cannot wait for the rest. BTW, wasn't sure if you were looking for a girls name i have a few suggestions:
Skylar
Taylor
Jessica
Victoria
Julia...
Izzy. Short for Ismode.
I write... All the time xD sadly, I don't have the time to post them here. I'm nerdy, a choir geek, and probably really, really weird. I tend to be quiet until I get to know y.. more..