A Tortured Soul

A story about my life.

The haunting of my soul continues to this day. With the darkness of old days behind me, or so I thought, the problematic past still wreaks havoc in my life today. The price I am paying seems far above the life I lived. It is said you must face adversity and hit rock bottom before you can turn your life around. Well this sad joke that the resident of the heavens continues to play with my life is reaching a breaking point. I never imagined my life was like a basketball bouncing continuously off rock bottom time and time again.

Growing up as a young boy in a household that consisted of my mom and others not related to me, I relied on my grandparents and uncle to get me through. I was fortunate enough to have a grandfather, grandmother, uncle, and great grandfather. They were the positives in my early childhood. My soul’s torture began as I lost all of them right in a row. As I buried the only positive role models in my life starting in sixth grade, I had to remain strong. Crying was not an option at the time. I felt as though it was looked down upon. Looking back, I should of cried and spared myself some pain. Their passing left me incomplete and all alone. All of the memories up until this point remain untold. I was left with my mom and nothing else. At first we were settled living near my grandparents before they passed. Then we moved because my mom wanted to. I wanted no parts of this move or the people we were moving in with. Being just nine years old the decision was not up to me.

After trying my hardest to fit in with these new people, I eventually gave up. I went out of my way for a little love and attention and received nothing in return. My life went on as the odd man out. We moved again, this time to Kensington. This was my kind of place. It got me away from some of the evil but not all of it. Unfortunately some of it came with me. The block we moved to was loaded with other kids. These kids didn’t even know me, yet they embraced me.

Altough my teenage years were filled with the same luck as my childhood, I did find some solace and peace in my new home.. The decision to sell drugs was an easy one. As I explained to the judge, ” Why would I work for five to seven dollars and hour, and spend thirty to fourty hours a week in work, when I can sell drugs on the corner, be with all my friends and party, all while making a few hundred dollars a night?” When you come from nothing, have nothing, and an opportunity like this appears you just don’t turn it down.

As I headed into my twenties I thought I surrounded myself with good friends and love. Boy was I wrong! This love I thought I found was nothing more than Chinese Water Torture in a human body. This woman was almost the death of me. The word suicide went from a bad word to an absolute infatuation of mine. As my body stood on the edge of life or death, my soul craved the taste of death. The opportunity to die and leave that b***h all alone just how I felt most of my life was my addiction. Just as I realized I could not go on with this travesty I called life. As I stood at the edge and looked down, the reaper came and held my hand to walk me to the other side. As I was ready to draw my last breath and be done on this earth, the only ray of hope my life has ever seen appeared before my eyes. As this savior grabbed my handand heart, she walked me back to life. With this all my so called friends and even some family scattered like Stinky Pete entering a bar.

As my future with my savior began, sha has taught me alot. She taught me self worth, real love, and what it is like to be in a real family. Since taking my hand and heart and saving my life, she has blessed me with two beautiful children. I now know that I am with the most beautiful girl in the world and I have the most beautiful kids in the world. Most of all they accept and love me for me.

Thank you sweetheart for saving my life. I am forever indebted to you and the kids. You are by far the best thing to ever happen to me. From the bottom of my heart I am thankful. I love you with all my heart.

Reviews

[Enigma]

Wow! That was fantastic. The saving part near the end was unexpected and I was dreeading of the ending. But I'm really happy that things turned out to be so good for you. You see, better days do come, if only late...
I loved everyword of it. It flowed smoothly through the different phases of your life. And the ending could not have been more perfect!
Thanks for sharing your life's story with us.
Great Job!! Keep writing.... :)