Father's Day

My thoughts on father's day.

My father is not a man

   but a boy.

             52 going on 11.

      Still pulling pigtails,

         and playing tag.

                               My father is not a father,

                                    but a stranger.

                                             Who once lived in our house,

                        I called him dad,

                            because I knew no other name.

     My father is the boy

        the youngest of three.

                 bullied by his brother,

                 coddled by his mother.

                                who never had to worry,

                                about things like "divorce" or "child support".

                                                                My father is a man,

                                                                    his genes split between two children.

                                                                         One of which he never knew.

                                                       never wanted to know.

                                                                the other

                                                                       he fiercely ignored.

                             my father is a man

                                 the checkbook two single mothers wanted

                                           not wanted,

                                           but needed

                                  just to get by. 

                                                 stuck between two rocks and a hard place.

                                                        raised to be a doctor

                                                                 not a father.

                                                             a provider,

                                                             not a role model.

            my father

                  52 going on 11

                       a man and a boy

               is a f*****g mess

                                 but we only got one.

Author's Note

My father is not a man, but a machine, raised by many generations of the same. I know my father better than anyone else, and yet not at all. But I love him. Happy Father's Day, dad, wherever you are.