Proluge

"I have followed you and now it is my turn, Jesus.I will tell my story to God and he will agree with me.Then you will be punished for douting my ability to run this world" Satan said to Jesus beliving that he could change who controled the world with just a simple conversation."Well,Satan,if God truly belives that you can do a better job running heaven and earth then I will walk away with a smile"Jesus said calmly before leaving the room.Of course later God heard about the two young mens conversation and decided that if Satan didn't obey Jesus he would be sent somewhere else where he could be god there(like a different galexcy) ,but Satan still did not listen so God had to create a new place to keep Satan in.A couple years later he created hell and placed Satan in there to keep him from trying to take Gog or Jesus place.So thats what happened.I know so weird right?I wouldn't even belive thats what happened if I didn't know a eye whitnes.His name is Lucifer(the eye whitnes) and hes what we humans call "fallen angels".Fallen angels are angels who couldn't decide on wheither Jesus or Satan should be gods right hand, so god put them(the angels who couldn't decide) on earth, but he was sure to leave them with something to prove to eachother that they are angels so each one wheres a necalice that is made entirely out of gold and is a cross.Oh, by the way,im Bailey Lucy Davidson(weird name, right?).Me and Lucifer have known eachother for four years,but i've only known about the whole fallen angel thing for three years, and me and Lucifer have been dating for three and a half years.I know what your thinking "oh my lordy.This girl is dating a angel".Well get ready for another suprise because my parents know that im dating a angel and think it's great!!!!!!!!!!!!!My parents thought he was a angel (no literalie) when they first met him and when I told them we were dating my mom was as happie as a five year old locked in a candy store for the night.My dad wasn't as happy, but he lets me make my own disitions in some areas and this is one of them.I have a cat named Luna(i love that name) who I adore sooooo much!!Lucifer loves Luns just as much as me and thinks of us as a family.We haven't talked about our future together but in we already know that when we graduate were both going to the same colegue (were both planing on geting a full scholarship)  for two  years,  then were buying a apartment and going to find work!! First let me tell you of how me and Lucifer met eachother:

I was walking home when a car pulled beside me and the guys started hiting on me ,but the smell of tobacco and whisky was a big turn off(plus he was like 37 years old and I was only 15)."I think you should get in the car before it starts raining little lady" the old,ugly and stinky man said although it was a rare warm day and hadn't rain for three days.I didn't say anything back to him thinking he would give up and leave but he just keep slowly driving beside me."Come get in the car, baby.I don't bite." the old man said still trying to lure me into his car.He was geting mader and mader until finally he stoped the car and got out of the drivers seat to walk up to me and grab my arms."GET IN THE CAR!!!!" he yelled spraying spit all over my face.He almost got me into the car until a tall man came up behind me and punched the old pervert in the gut.I know what your thinking, the fallen angel rides up on his white horse and saves the young girl from the old man trying to kidnap her and they live happily ever after, right?Well your wrong, i'll fast forward to after the old man left crying and the mystery man introduced him self to me. His name is Dr.Loyd Johnson, who is a man who has four sons, a wife that died 3 years ago and a huge, elegant, exspencive house. So while I was fighting the old man off of me I cut my ankle on his car door and Dr.Johnson said he would take me to his house so he could clean it and make sure I didn't brake anything (I know what your thinking here, too this girl is going to go to the guys house who saved her from some other guy who wanted to take her to her house!!!!!!.Well I knew he wouldn't try to hurt me or something). So long story short his one of two son was Lucifer and we are in LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So back to the present now, me and Lucifer go to Redowfer High and it's the kind of school that belongs in the middle of a trailer park (yes im talking about slang talk, gangs, s***s and the whole kobodole) .We never go to any dances or after school activities because my dad says its to dangerous.So usualy after school we go to Lucifers house and talk or walk around the neiborhood.Well now that you know enough about me i'm gona tell you the story of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Reviews

[James Watts]

First I would break it down into individual paragraphs, as to make it less confusing.

Second, avoid doing this: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not really a good idea in prose. You sound like you are onto an interesting story, just needs a bit of polish.

[Pookie]

Sounds good a lil short...okay REALLY short, But really good in those two or three sentences. I loved it.