Empty

 

 

 

Empty

 

Empty corridors

Chambers of my

Heart beat

Where you once

Resided

 

A silent ghost

Is now companion

To the spiderwebs

Reviews

[Heromen Selena]

This is a great poem because of the way you structured your lines. The most words in a line is only three, and because of that it makes something wonderful happen. The first time you read it, you'll think that a phrase means something like "Empty corridors, Chambers of my, Heart beat." It sounds like you're describing what your heart looks like. But then when you read it with different spaces in between the words it means something different, like this "Empty, corridors Chambers of, my heart, beat." with the difference in spacing you now thinking that your heart is beating rather than a place where it beats, you know what I mean? There's a word that describes it, but I forget what it is! Anyways, it's so cool that you incorporated that in your poem. It adds to the eeriness it already had and makes the reader think about what he/she is reading. Great job :) I really liked it.

[R. L. Hill]

Thank you so much for this review! I'm glad you pick up on the differing cadences.

[Azurel]

I am not an expert in poetry analysis, but your words come to life in my imagination. There is light seeping through your lines, but that light comes from the past where your heart was once resided with love and happiness. And the spiderwebs are forgotten memories and sleeping - not dead yet - affections, I presume?

[Robert Strzalko]

I felt the emotion of it as I was reading it. Feeling empty in that way is painful, your words capture the experience perfectly.

[Madalyn Beck]

This is amazing and with such few words... The pain of the past and the emptiness it leaves, yet filled with memories.

[Baby Ricochet]

Good poem. I liked the ending particularly

[Vidya Bacchus]

This said so much Q.Really excellent poetry my friend :)

[R. L. Hill]

Thanks, dear :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[Luissanto]

It is amazing to me, how in such few words. You have managed to capture and express what so many people are truly feeling inside, This is a beautiful gift. Thank You for sharing it with us.

[R. L. Hill]

Aww thank you!

[Meraki]

It's fascinating and amazing how you can give sight or well physical form to feelings, especially since they're so difficult to describe in the first place. I can hear the hollow echoes. It kind of reminds me of when I lose track of time and forget to eat, but not in the same way. What gets me is that it almost seems routine with the last few lines (also my favorites) it's accepting of the emptiness as if it's happened enough times already. Brilliant work my friend :)

[R. L. Hill]

Thank you, doll!

[Latifa]

ooh how touching, I really felt it .simple words that painted a very vivid picture of the feelings that you're expriencing it.

[R. L. Hill]

Thank you! I appreciate that ^_^

[Frieda P]

Haunting and accurate description, spiderwebs of the heart....what imagery there!