Crunch

A laugh pierced the air -
Sharp like a jagged knife
Thrust into the crisp
Winter atmosphere.
It tapered
From a whining squeal
To raspy chuckles
That hinted of labored breathing
As though a certain task
Was proving difficult
The ability to properly inhale and exhale.
It drifted on the wind like a specter
Aimlessly wandering
Through a realm that lingers
As a film between branches and twigs
And a rustle of dead leaves
Still clinging to the notion of life.
If the forest creatures
Understood the cause
Of such disturbed bliss,
They gave no indication.
The earth,
Damp with melting ice that froze
The shadowed bases of mighty oak trees,
Was void of any sound to hint
Of crunching from the paws of critters.

The only sound,
Other than the maniacal breathing
Of bitter-cold winds,
Was of steamy breath
Rushing in and out
Of my nostrils as I ran.
The snap of a careless branch
That appeared beneath my feet
Shattered through the trees,
And I inwardly cringed.
A prayer felt useless.
I knew that if I were to utter a word,
It would fall to deaf ears.
All things here were a part of the forest.
What would happen in the dark -
When the only visible light was
Scattered about the ground
In broken shafts of moon -
Would always fall forgotten
With the morning
When the deer and rabbits and
An occasional bear
Groggily began their morning rituals,
No longer hiding from the silence.
The forest kept its secret hidden
In the darkness.

I knew the instant that
My fate was sealed.
The laughter that haunted and
Echoed
Had gone silent when my foot
Sent the crack of the branch
Ringing through the trees.
With lungs of fire,
I pressed on
Even more fueled to escape.
I should have never ventured here.
I should have never considered
A hike so late in the day.
I had heard the rumors,
But my arrogance
Had now left me running for my life
From a phantom laugh;
A menacing presence
No longer heard.
A sinking realization
Burned like acid in my brain.
I had no idea
If I was running from or
Towards the chuckles' source.

My fears presented themselves
In a black shape
That glimmered in a beam of
Fragmented moonlight
A hundred and fifty feet before me.
I skidded to a halting stop,
Chunks of dirt and leaves
Spraying before me and landing
On the tops of my boots.
The action rocked me forward and
I gripped a nearby tree before
I accidentally fell to my face.
Something like terror
Seized hold my heart.
I froze,
And not just because of the wind
That whistled against the back of my neck
That was exposed.
The hood to my jacket
Had some time ago flown back
From over my head.
I froze because
A jagged smile of glinting teeth
Had curled in the dark.
It was as though the grin itself
Was a spirit that glowed
An unearthly light in the distance.

The laughter.
It assaulted my ears
Like a slithering squeal
Before the shape lunged forward
Carrying thudding feet in my direction.
I gripped the bark
Till my blood dribbled down
And was drunk by thirsty white snow
Over the roots at the tree's base.
My last and
Final memory -
As my own curdled scream
Mingled with rasping, choking giggles -
Was the stench of rotting flesh
Decaying between jaggedly-edged
Scissor-like teeth.
Its jaw had disconnected
With a sickening pop
As cartilage that kept it in place
Was stretched and disjointed from itself
In order to accommodate
The girth of my entire head.

Reviews

[Meraki]

I do believe it's intensity has risen in the form of a poem. The urgency and the fear grew ten fold and I had to remind myself my room wasn't a forest. This time I was there it's probably the reason my hands are shaking. Who needs sleep anyways it's really overrated plus it gives me more time to dwell on my inner musings :D. Once again you've instilled terror into my heart! Bravo!

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Very deep and touchy. I would highlight:
"Aimlessly wandering
Through a realm that lingers
As a film between branches and twigs
And a rustle of dead leaves
Still clinging to the notion of life."

Thanks for sharing!

[Chris]

Well done! Visceral and drawing.

[Ai Lun]

Quite dark, but interestingly so. Also the descriptiveness is out of this world! it's amazing!

[R. L. Hill]

Thanks! It was a lot of fun doing a poem of horror. I like scary stories. I think that fear is one of the most powerful emotions. Whereas love slowly develops to overpower fear, fear itself is an instant reaction. It is palatable and encompassing at the first hint of apparent danger. The thrill is intoxicating and I like to share the experience ;D

[Scott Metro]

Gobble gobble...quite dark..
Good writing though..kept my interest.

Good job.
Scott

[R. L. Hill]

Awesome. Yea it is pretty dark but that's what I enjoyed about it. Glad you liked it ^^

[Scott Metro]

It was a very good write..you have a real knack at descriptive phrases..
Its jaw had disconnected
With a sickening pop
this one is a prime example of what I mean....excellent.

[R. L. Hill]

Thank you so much :D

[Candy M]

Holy long sentences, Batman! No, seriously, I would love to be spooked out by this story, but the fact that it is being told in past- instead of present-tense and the fact that the sentences are super long and the language is super flowery and descriptive keep me from being able to really buy into your narrator. If this person is running for her life through the woods, I think she would probably notice less of the scenery and have shorter, more breathless, more scattered thoughts. The idea itself is great, mysterious and gripping, but the narration needs to match your awesome idea!

[Meraki]

Oh my goodness this left me scared and in awe. I hung onto to every word I was in the story. Not literally of course but your words drew me in I felt like the character which is what scared me because I wouldn't want to get my head bitten off by a specter -I was in awe because that doesn't happen often, being put in the characters position. Keep writing you have an amazing talent and I really like to read your stories.

[R. L. Hill]

Thank you so much! You make me blush. I'm so glad that would connect with you.

[Raymond Federle]

COOL! This has an almost middle earth fantast ring to it. Not what you intended but come up with a decent premise and this piece as an opening chapter and I think you got something here. Middle earth stuff has always been popular and it's still running neck and neck with the vamp/wolf crowd. More directly this reminds me of descriptions of some moments in the books by Author Terry Brooks, who wrote the 'Shannara' series and which is being considered for an MTV show directed/produced by Jon Favreau, one of the Producers of the 'Iron Man' movies. EXCELLENT !

[R. L. Hill]

Wow. Thanks for such a compliment! I most definitely look into the genre more closely now. I had never considered it before, but because it rings so closely for you, it may be worth my while.

[love, lorey]

This is great! Creepy and sinister, with perfect descriptions as always. I felt the fear in the runner, the tense urgency. The atmosphere you created was perfection. Awesome work!

[R. L. Hill]

Thank you! I didn't want to go too far, but I'm glad you captured the intentions of it.

[love, lorey]

I think you went the perfect distance ;) lol

[R. L. Hill]

[MsJewel]

You are so good at these chilling little tales! This seriously gave me goosebumps. I need to go turn the hall light on....

:) Julie

[R. L. Hill]

Hahaha! Anything dealing with the woods freaks me out. My house is nestled in the middle of four acres worth, so they easily come as inspiration.