Outward

Outward

At its narrowest space,

The crack spanned forty miles.

If there had been a bird able to fly high enough to see its length,

It would appear as nothing but

A jagged V cut into the dry crust.

 

On either side was an expanse of dead land.

It no longer sizzled under the constant sun, for it

Had suffered heat for too long.

The protesting hiss of steam evaporating from the night's reprieve

Grew weary before silent.

 

Outward

Outward

Outward

 

This expanse

This nightmare

Of continual hellish heat

Stretched

Till it dared to claim its name from the vastness.

 

Reviews

[Chris]

Desolate, forlorn... stark and overpowered... existence defying.

[ferousfinite]

It's bubbly and simple. I love it!

[R. L. Hill]

Thanks so much!

[Meraki]

Very desolate and continuous, it sounds like hopelessness and maybe it's just me but narrator sounded determined to struggle against it and stay alive only to realize at the end just how vast it really was. It reminded me of an ant crossing a dried out lake bed; pointless but determined.

Were those the feelings you were going for? I really enjoyed this in a creepy sorta way.

[R. L. Hill]

Glad you enjoyed it! Your perspective is very interesting and I enjoyed it very much. Makes me relook at my own work. thank you

[Raymond Federle]

"Till it dared to claim its name from the vastness. " Wonderful line! This... is a keeper! :)

[R. L. Hill]

Thank you! I have a pre-teen steampunk novel I'm working on that goes with this one. It's alooooooong way off, but yea. Pretty excited! I'm so glad that you liked it ^^

[Raymond Federle]

I hear about steam punk all the time... guess I need to go check it out. It's because I'm OLD! :P

[R. L. Hill]

LAWL. Not that old.....Just kinda old. Lolol. Steampunk is a super fun genre. Check out some anime with it. You'll be hooked, trust me.