self-deception

Well yet again i ran and ruined

something that could have been

i was here the whole time

but my emotions where hiding

i tried to express but nothing made sense

how could it have

i couldnt even make sense of it all

trying to read another blank page

getting nowhere

i still hope it to evolve

your eyes

your smile

bring me this hope

but your actions crush

these thoughts

i dont believe this is how

it was meant to be

lonliness gets me each time

like a "lovesick anerexic"(otep)

i still want your world and mine

to combine

my source is weak and untrue

to my heart

i just wish something could

go right and i stop my foolishness

you are a broken shell

full of a new life i want to explore

you say you lost interest

and it fucked itself up

but its hard for me to

believe it was not my fault

all signs lead to what i did wrong

if i changed my wrong doings

would it have lasted longer and worked?

Reviews

[Steven]

"your eyes
your smile
bring me this hope
but your actions crush
these thoughts"

I liked this part especially. Simple but strong. Nice write. I think sometimes we want the ones who left us so much because we all feel that there is something somewhat wrong with us, and those that left know what it is. And if we can get them back in love with us, we think we will have fixed that part and become lovable, worthy of love again. But the problem is, once something is gone, it is gone. Even if it comes back, it can't be the same. Learning and moving on to me seems the best way. Anyway, nice write.