It's 9 AM and I Miss You

Oh, hello. Would you look at that? Autumn is already tapping on my window and whispering if it can come inside.
I've wasted already another year.
I open my door and let the crisp air burn my throat and my nose. It smells a little like that coffee shop we used to go to every Wednesday morning, and a lot like regret.
I glance at my phone, which, by the way, hasn't been bothered since you last told me the news.
Nothing.
The lights are still off in the place I live; I don’t know if I’ll ever turn them on again. Last time I did you showed up on my doorstep with a hot chocolate and your cold hand pressed to my cheek.
(The imprint still takes up residence there.)
I try not to wonder what you’re doing right now or where you are, but I don’t try hard enough and I remember you’re probably kissing her hand and pouring up some champagne after this dreadfully long day.
Time used to go by faster than the 3 pm train by your old house. Time hardly even goes at all now. I’m stuck in the same hour, same minute I was in 11 months ago. I still remember how many sugars and creams you prefer and what gives you road rage.
At least I think I do.
I know you are not the same person I met 450 days ago. Sometimes I wish I could make that person come back but that’s what happened when I let you go. I let you change. I let you realize you liked a different flavor soda and that you prefer murky, brown eyes over a speckled green. I let you marry her and move away and I let you lose my number when you got a new phone.
I let go.
I don’t have the right to miss you, but I do.
And it surely isn't fair to either of us that I’m still writing about you. But I am.
I hope you stay safe tonight.
I hope you remember me.

Author's Note

This is kind of old

Reviews

[Solilokiss]

A gripping read. Enjoyed this. Can very much relate. Looking forward to reading you more :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

Oh Julia, you've captured so much here...it's all so tangible for those of us who have loved and lost... but it truly makes for some of the most beautiful, poignant poetry!

So glad I found this one!


My best,
Kelly

[Scott Metro]

Very pretty Julia.
I like the little timelines inserted...makes it authentic.
Letting go is tough...trying to forget...even tougher..
Well done...even if it's old...it's good.
Scott

[Julia]

Thank you so much for the kind words! Much appreciated xx

[Scott Metro]

:)
S........