Stoned Alone

Take this!

I promise you,

it's the pill,

choice is yours

drink it

or spill,

I love you,

let me kill

you

Please, I'd love to ask you a question

I'd love to hear an answer

it's about particles and physics

and quantum mechanics,

maybe.

-but I love you,

I want to kill you,

because I can't;

you are light inside,

you are shining bright,

you can't see 'cause you are blind

star in brightless night

Reviews

[Irenic]

You have painted a picture of a distance between a couple.


Its very beautifully written.

The way you have written it is mind-blowing. It completely paints a picture of a couple sitting under the dark night and a girl demanding her lover.

[isus]

im glad you read this and hope you enjoyed :)

[Jennifer Shaw]

I almost understood this, yet not at all. It's perplexing and oddly beautiful. There's mystery here, or just plain nonsense... or both. It's twisted and a bit dark, yet seems to harness a bit of light as well. Very intriguing... I do love a mystery.

[Jennifer Shaw]

Also, share some of whatever dank deliciousness you were smoking when you wrote this! Fawk...

[isus]

mind often can't understand. anyway thank you on reading :)

[barleygirl]

There are a few bright spots in this poem, such as the first stanza, but all in all, it does not flow together as an integrated message, at least to my reading. I cannot understand the connection between quantum physics & the last 7 lines.

[isus]

because it's maybe :)

[barleygirl]

I guess my mind isn't in the same place. Good luck on your writing.

[isus]

thank you

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Deep.....wasn't sure if you were talking about a person or a metaphorically a drug. Nice way to keep me interested.

[Neville]

Yep, been there done that and got the tee shirt. Now I have the munchies........N

[hopeless]

probably the best way to describe me being stoned out of my mind. Great Write. (:

[DarkRainbowPie]

This sounds exactly like me when I'm stoned. Last time I was smoking I pulled out my physics book and started teaching everyone in the room about conventional current! Haha, very nice piece, really enjoyable read. :)

[isus]

i dont know

[DarkRainbowPie]

...I wasn't really asking you anything :P

[isus]

: :)

[DarkRainbowPie]

Oooookay x'D

[Kahtia Howard]

I really love this. The first part reminds me of a long and treacherous part of my life and how my love made me feel with his addictions. The science added in then bringing up the sky really tops it off for me. I am very pulled in by science in poems given that it is such an important part of life and often over looked in the poetic world. Many of my poems have to do with the sky and also mention science. This appealed to me on so many levels, very well written.

[Ezekiel Silver]

This is a rather unusual poem. Very contradictory and thought provoking. It seems that the voice of this piece is giving several different messages at once. While this is quite confusing it's also remarkably mystical. I really like this one a lot!

[Kay]

Love this as usual! "I love you, let me kill you" is a great line. Awesome work!

[Jennifer Shaw]

That was one of my favorite lines as well!