Through Trip (Street)

probably not final version.

Endless fun like endless sorrow

burning in the hollow ground,

leaving Sun for us to follow

till there is no other sound.

And do you even know for sound,

do you know that you can hear it?

Have you ever seen true color?

-Try to imagine new one,

try to find just one new color.

Out of time and out of mind

I don't really wanna bother

will I live or will i die

in flash of light, in stroke of thunder.

Reviews

[Irenic]

The picture of emotion of endlessness is now here in front of me.

love these lines:
Endless fun like endless sorrow
burning in the hollow ground,
leaving Sun for us to follow
till there is no other sound.

Thanks for sharing

[isus]

thanx on reding

[Irenic]

.....................................:)

[richieb]

Loved trying to imagine a new color, blows the mind. Enjoyed reading. Richie.

[TL Boehm]

Will I live or will I die in flash of light in stroke of thunder. Wise writing Isus.

[Your Teaship]

Very interesting and imaginative! Lovely work with a good ring to the senses. :)

[topsyturvy]

It's hard to imagine that it isn't finished but I kind of know how that feels like lol. I love this piece, and if ever you do decide to change it, I would love to read it as well :)

[kublakhan27]

An imaginative piece that appeals to all the senses...I love some of the connections made between the Sun and colours and so on...great piece :)

[tamemei]

Interesting poem. I would love some more imagery concerning these questions you're posing? What makes the speaker wonder whether they will live, or die? Why is endless fun like endless sorrow? Bridge some of these gaps with some images :) Also, on a grammatical note, "Have you ever seen true color" since "have" is past tense.

[isus]

yes, thank you on noticing, my grammar is bad so thanx

[Bluefire]

Think outside the box for you have not much time to live.
Well done. ^^

[isus]

thanx blue :)

[Bluefire]

No problem. ^^

[SonOfPlunder]

Man, this is brilliant. Your poems keep getting better, and trippier!

[isus]

thats too kind, thank you son!

[Savannah Bly]

Beautiful word flow. Your diction is amazing and spoken. Well done my friend!

[isus]

thank you :)