Rain is gonna fall

I'm amazed that

truth is there

for those who stare

and

did you know that

you can sell your

soul for gold

and

once that gold

has bought your

soul,

you look and see

you're nothing

but the dead man.

Without no needs

with heavy thoughts

bended colors

fading anyway..

Nothing to say,

too much to speak,

lend me your eyes,

I'm dead before

the end.

Reviews

[Irenic]

These lines:
did you know that
you can sell your
soul for gold
and
once that gold
has bought your
soul,
you look and see
you're nothing
but the dead man.

these lines are epic.

Thanks for sharing

[isus]

glad you like it :)

[Irenic]

.........................................:)

[Aethereal]

Insightful poem, but the lure of gold takes hold, and it’s soooo sweet. I was inspired to write this tiny gift poem for you:

Strange Mice

When a craving numbs your thinking
little mouse
as your hold-on-truth is shrinking
as you browse
where a baited trap is winking
in your house,
you’re already dead and sinking
with your spouse.

(A chorus of mice sings:)

So try to be wise;
break strong chains and ties;
quell those mousy eyes
fooled by cheesy lies.

[isus]

it seems somehow very paranoid hm..

[Aethereal]

Paranoia is a rodent survival trait.

[Bluefire]

I especially liked the last two stanzas. The wording and so.
I like how you explained it in the first and let it spiral from there.
Well done. ^^

[isus]

thank you for reading

[Bluefire]

Aye, you're welcome. ^^

[FlamingPhoenix]

This felt a little abrupt at the end--or perhaps that's the point. I was left wanting more--enjoying it thoroughly and wanted it wrapped up in a pretty bow--life doesn't always happen that way, does it? Nice write!

[isus]

it is little abrupt isn't it, but all my work is not 'finnished', there is always possibility i edit something or similar stuff

[Frontier]

Yet another enjoyable poem. Love the beginning "I'm amazed that
truth is there

for those who stare" because I really do agree and it is amazing what one can find. :3

[isus]

well i'm glad you like it :)

[Melissa S]

I also enjoyed this poem. But like Ashley mentioned, i'm not sure about the format. Play around with it and see what comes out. Great job though :)

[isus]

Ashley also said something about hidden ideas but i don't see any :)

[Melissa S]

Thats the cool thing about poetry. Each person reads it differently and takes different things from it. :)

[Nance]

when I read this piece, it is a warning… a cautionary reminder to be careful what and who a person lets in their world… a great man once wrote " money lies but it can't stand up' …. true and great writing is written from the heart and crafted over time…. if compensation follows, that's the chocolate cake… great poem. I understand it! thanks for sharing! :)

[isus]

thank you Nance, kind words

[Ashley.M.E]

I enjoy the hidden ideas in this poem, but I am unsure of the format itself. it may just be but I found the flow to be jagged due to the way you separated some of the lines. My favorite part would be between "you sell your soul for gold & but the dead man." Just because we spend our whole lives chasing money, finer and better living just to leave it all behind. Great poem keep writing =)

[isus]

what hidden ideas? :)

[MariaDahl1791]

Quite enjoyed it. Loved how it was thought provoking. Makes you think. very well put together.

[isus]

but is there much to think anyway? :)