Burn the religion

written in some five minutes, probably something worst you'll ever read (i find it still amusing)

The moment I give you my power

everything can break down in pieces

and left us in the middle of time

on strange lane where Sun is on the side,

but you know

that

this is not the 

only Sun,

and

we are only

smallest pieces

of All

and of everyone

so maybe you know

that I want to

see it all

and I just want 

to see it all

and up the end of all existence

I'm just cluster of some atoms,

completely as you

perfect in its stupidity.

Author's Note

where did you went?

Reviews

[RichGee]

My friend do not underestimate your talent...remember, first and foremost we write for ourselves...
Whether to vent, send a message or simply for the heck of it.
Not everything we write will be enjoyable to everyone but somewhere someone will identify with it...
And if nothing at all, it ours to do with it what we want....
Good work and keep them coming.

[isus]

i know we write for ourselves, but thats why it can't be good enough, i always want it better, i want it epic, but im not capable enough yet (i think so). but thanx for your kind words :)

[RichGee]

Keep on keeping on....read read read and write write write...practice makes perfect!

[isus]

yes, i can agree to that

[TL Boehm]

perfect in our stupidity. Yup. I find truth in that. I am often a perfectly stupid person.

[Chris]

another lesson in "Philosophy From The Curb"... perhaps class 302

[isus]

im not shure i follow

[Chris]

sorry, was a personal thought... you gave a lesson in life conceptualization - from the street's curb

but is was an advanced class with a prerequisite of having open eyes hence the higher University Semester number

[kit]

Your poem is very intriguing and powerful, stop underestimating your talent.

[isus]

its nice of you to think so, but it can be better really

[Kaitlyn Raiford]

I feel this stanza is most confusing as the tenses seem to get confused: "The moment I give you my power
everything can break down in pieces
and left us in the middle of time
on strange lane where Sun is on the side,"

It was an amazing piece though and I enjoyed the read. I love the point that you are trying to bring to the surface.

[isus]

thank you for reading, i hope it was worth it :)

[Frieda P]

It's an intriguing read and not bad at all isus, you underestimate your talent, it's a little confusing since it's not about religion per se but I get what you were trying to say, we're mere dust in this huge universe, the jokes on us, the last few lines are really good.

[isus]

Very much thanx for reading, the jokes always on us :D im happy you like it !

[L4rn13]

I love the spontanious writing because you wrote it as you came up with it. Very nice and I live the structure you used too.

[isus]

thanx, nice to know you find it interesting :)

[Blue]

Well, this is too good to be done in just 5 minutes. Either you're kidding us or you're just really that good. Haha. (I believe the latter.)

but you know
that
this is not the
only Sun,
and
we are only
smallest pieces
of All
and of everyone

-My favorite stanza.

[isus]

wow, glad you like it but i didnt really do it in 5 mins so im not that good :) it was maybe 7 or 8 mins, but it isnt 5 :)

[Blue]

Haha. It's still good. I once wrote a poem in less than 10 ten minutes and it's entitled "To him". You can check it out if you want. It's not as good as yours, though. :P

[Ruth]

We are all part of the all and this is awesome...heaven is within the self, so it is said :) x

[isus]

i dont understand on what heaven do you think

[Vria P Crow]

"Burn the Religion" is a title of misdirection which was clever. After reading the poem, I began to see the play on words. It is the "sun" that "burns" with the symbolism of life rather than destruction. The writer speaks of connection in the following line: "we are only smallest of pieces of All and of everyone." Mingling science and religion reflects its own beauty; a recipe of creation.

The speaker resonates with us as a modest person. At the end, the author views us as the same in the following line: "I'm just cluster of some atoms, completely as you perfect in its stupidity."

Overall, I thought "Burn the religion" was thought provoking. The contents of the poem do not speak of "religion." Subjectively, it describes faith and humanity.

Well done, isus!

[isus]

thank you for this review, i am suprised that you put so much effort in it although i didnt deserve it. thanx again :)

[Vria P Crow]

I believe you deserved it! :) I simply wrote my observations. You are too modest. :D

You are very welcome!