Out Of Nothing

green in the head

sun shining red,

all is for something,

just make it cool,

Red in the head,

glorious death

making up everything,

burning her tools.

Author's Note

would like to hear a good critique better then just saying 'its good' or 'good job...'

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Your pen is ruled by the color wheel it seems, red in the head sounds dangerous, step away from that quill isus... ;-)

[isus]

well, isnt death dangerous :)

[Frieda P]

Ha exactly what I'm saying ;-)

[Rita L. Sev]

It's late here, so I am a bit slow; not sure I am getting the message here, Isus.

[isus]

im not getting it also :)

[Rita L. Sev]

LOL... some days are like that!

[isus]

yup :D

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

The first stanza somehow seems disconnected from the last one. You could capitalize the first word in the first stanza like you did in the second one. I am not sure why you have a comma at the end of the first stanza....
Maybe, you could add another stanza to tie this together more.
The last line totally throws me off and does not seem to fit.
I would revise this and see where it goes....

[isus]

it's not finished therefore i appreciate this. thank you :)

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

I DID NOT THINK IT WAS....YOU ARE WLECOME! :)

[Baby Ricochet]

"The second stanza made me think of a suicide bomber but that's my deal so don't sweat it to much.

[isus]

its ok, you see what you see