sideway

Make me a cigarette

of broken bone and stolen light,

of scattered sand and distant sight

where trace of every other race

could tell me story through the space.

What would fit is infinite

and i'm riding on the side

in the darkness of her eyes

knowing she could be illusion

making everything to stop.

-But the earth could never stop

and king is threaten by the pawn

in cold and frosty winter dawn

where too many eyes was broken

watching story of the night.

Reviews

[Frieda P]

'Make me a cigarette', what an intriguing concept, the imagery here is awesome, I love the title also, so apropos. Nicely pen'd isus!

I think you meant '*through* the space.'

[isus]

yes, !through! :D thank you so much :D well, i have to edit :D my english isn't very good really, but i'm trying. thanx again :D

[Coyote Poetry]

"of broken bone and stolen light,
of scattered sand and distant sight"
I love how you used the language. The above lines were my favorite. I like the story in the poem. Many good vision create by the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[isus]

thank you for reading :D glad you like it

[Angel]

I agree with Icelandic Blue. That first stanza sounds like an evil spell...
That imagery of the king being threatened by the pawn...that got my attention.

Well done!

[isus]

well, thank you :D i hope it was worth your reading :D

[MikeV]

Great imagery, well written
i enjoyed this read :)

[isus]

im so glad you like it :D

[icelandicblue]

To me these words sounded like a spell:

Make me a cigarette

of broken bone and stolen light,
of scattered sand and distant sight
where trace of every other race
could tell me story trough the space.

There is a dark sheen to your words throughout. Well done.

[isus]

thank you, good to hear it :D

[Annie]

I love "and kind is threaten by the pawn"... an interesting idea where the most important chess piece is easily dictated by a miniscule chess piece. Extremely clever!

[isus]

thanx! i love that freedom of interpretation, it is essential to arts i would say.

[rankoranko]

you have gone far my friend, great poetry really

[isus]

thank youm glad you like it, really

[rankoranko]

always pleasure to see such a different and great poems.

[wordwarrior]

Such wonderful imagery in this poem. Really makes the reader think. Great fantasy indeed!

[isus]

Well thank you very very much, I'm glad you like it :)